Y'all...it sucks feeling like I'm on an island being PG right now. I knew it was going to happen, because I'm the only person I know in my local friend circle who even for sure wants kids (let alone being actually PG) and my friends from back home who do want kids or have one are in FL (I'm in Seattle). Like, for example, my in-person best friend was excited when I told her, but she's never once asked about how I'm feeling or how I'm doing and so I feel awkward bringing it up because it is on my mind almost all of the time. MH doesn't really get it yet (I anticipated this happening, hopefully this shifts after our first u/s). I'm having a hard time connecting with new people nearby who are PG for a variety of reasons (I'm even on Peanut). Don't get me wrong, I love and appreciate this group, and it is still hard to feel like no one else IRL cares at all.
@chgilmore I’m so sorry you’re going through that. It’s hard being so far from away from friends. Is there a local mom’s group you can join, or are you waiting for 2nd trimester before joining any groups?
AFM: I have a giant zit on my cheek. It’s red. It’s angry. DS1 keeps telling me I have a bug on my face.
@makingbacon oh no! the angry ones are the worst I'm sorry I'm very open to joining groups. I've been looking for them on FB but the ones I've seen haven't been active since like early 2020. and I'm trying to meet people on Peanut but it's slow going. something I've noticed about the local mom culture is that as a whole, it has heavily embraced the whole "wine mom" thing, which is fine, but I don't want to partake in that. I do want to do in person classes and groups (our state's reopen date is on June 30th) so maybe that will help. I'm sure the infamous Seattle Freeze isn't helping either lol.
@chgilmore that stinks not having f2f people who get it. And I’m from the Seattle area (east coast now) and lol the Seattle Freeze is real. I think (fx) stuff is starting to open up more, and especially with warmer months ahead there might be some moms groups more focused on something you’re into. I’m promising myself I’m going to check out these outdoor prenatal yoga classes I never got around to with my first.
Anyway, AFM, feels like a long week already. I’m tired enough I am thinking slow which doesn’t work too well for a double-booked kind if day. Cruelest thing that first trimester fatigue coincides with queasies and can’t tolerate much coffee.
@chgilmore I can so understand what you mean about feeling like you're on an island. I feel much the same way, most of my friends are just at a different place in their lives, having grandkids, kids graduating from high school or going into high school or whatever. I hope once things open up a bit in your state and you are able to do more things you will find some people to connect with.
Thing I'm annoyed about right now? People who don't show up for interviews. My husband asked me if I would do some interviews for one of his stores. Sure, no problem. There were 6 interviews scheduled. And how many showed up? One. I get it. Things come up, people don't really want to work but schedule an interview anyway, whatever. But please just say you're not interested or you got another job or whatever and save everyone some aggravation. The sad part is I was fully prepared that none of them would show up. The positive thing is the one who did show was really promising.
@makingbacon yes, I just hate the way alcohol makes me feel. without doing an ad, peanut is basically a dating app (yes, with swiping) for moms. you can select some characteristics you care about and find similarly aged moms with similarly aged kiddos or who are on the pregnancy journey at about the same point you are. it also has a board feature that I dislike. (TB has spoiled me!) ...I'm hearing myself as I type this and maybe I'm just really picky LMAO
@Katzalia ooooh outdoor prenatal yoga, I like that idea! that sounds super fun and engaging.
@kmb0108 ugh! that would annoy me too. I get the same thing with clients not showing up and not telling me, like hey if you would've told me I could've been home already napping (lol). yes, exactly, it feels like we're all at different points and the therapist in me is all "that is cool and fine, there's space for all of this" and at the same time, the person in me with needs is screaming for connection in more areas.
@chgilmore hey! I’m about an hour outside Seattle! I’m a Washington transplant and it’s SOOOOO hard to meet people here. My bestie is a milspouse and her uncaring(jk jk) husband took her away to Ohio 😭. So I totally get where you’re coming from. I’m an introvert in person and have a super hard time making new friends (weird for a navy brat😂). Also ooph I agree on the wine mom thing. I like wine, I’m a mom, but do we *have* to make motherhood only about the wine and whine???
@makingbacon I’m sorry!! The angry ones are the worst!!
@Katzalia I hope your day is getting better! First trimester fatigue + no coffee is so unfair.
@kmb0108 how frustrating! I always hated hiring for this exact reason. I can’t imagine now after COVID when so many people don’t want to go back to work.
I don’t have anything too “big” to bitch about today. We took some time off homeschooling in May for DS2s birthday and a vacation and just can not get back into our normal routine. School was painful today and between our lessons my boys will not keep their hands to themselves. One or both of them has been crying because the other one hit them the entire day. I cannot wait for my husband to get home so I can put myself in timeout aka hide in the shower for a few minutes😂
I need to vent, it’s not fair. My brother was battling Covid for over a month and we lost him Thursday. He has the same blood clotting disorder I have, he had asthma and was overweight. The odds were stacked against him but we had so many people praying for him and there was so much hope. My brother had Asperger’s syndrome (high functioning autism) and was the sweetest guy in the world. He never spoke ill of anyone, never made fun of anyone, was always so happy and so funny. He was so pure and innocent. He was only 35. He had worked at Walmart for close to 15 years and has a wife. My heart is breaking for her. My mom is a total mess and I’m distraught. I’m so nauseated today I left work a little early and took a unisom to sleep the day away because I just can’t handle the sadness anymore. I know it’s all in Gods plan but I just don’t understand why my brother, so sweet, so good didn’t pull through and there are horrible people in the world where a plague can’t even take them out. I have anger in my heart that I don’t want there but not sure how to get rid of it. I’m trying to deal with this as best as possible because I know the stress is bad for the baby. I just can’t stop crying.
@livingoffpbjs I'm so sorry for your loss. I hear what you mean about it feeling really unfair. MH and I lost a family member right before we conceived and it is difficult every day. I get you don't want the baby to feel stress, and I think it's really important for you to feel what you're feeling and process it with people you love and trust.
@livingoffpbjs I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s not fair. Sometimes shitty things happen and it feels like the sadness will never go away. The sadness will △⃒⃘lways be there and you will find a way to live with the grief, but damn it’s hard. So sorry your family is going through this.
@livingoffpbjs I am so sorry for your loss. Echoing what @chgilmore said it’s important to feel whatever you’re feeling. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts ❤️
@livingoffpbjs I am very sorry for your loss. Life is so unfair and takes and takes sometimes. It's okay to keep crying. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I'm sorry for your loss. @livingoffpbjs it sounds like your brother was a really awesome guy. ❤️
<div class="Spoiler">We have been living in a broken world since the fall, where many times, life just isn't fair. Hopefully his passing too soon can be a reminder - for all of us, that the earth is not our home, and now, may he be free of all pain, all limitations, at peace with our Lord. I will keep you and your family in T&P as you walk through your grief in the coming weeks, and beyond. (((((Hugs))))))</div> Please do try to give yourself permission to feel your feelings completely. Your tears, screams, whatever you need to do - none of it will hurt the baby. I promise.
@chgilmore Isn't it funny how small and quiet our world gets, when we have this thing going on that we want to keep shouting from the rooftops!!! Especially when we have been trying, and have put so much mental energy into that, then the BFP comes, with all its excitement and then... It's quiet again. No one else is possibly going to be as excited for us, every single minute, as we are for ourselves and our baby. And there's kind of a long way to go from now till delivery, with these high points (seeing the baby in a scan, preparing for and having a shower, showing off the nursery etc.) that punctuate what, by and large, is a very intimate time between you and your baby. My experience has been that there may be times too, when even your own partner doesn't seem to get it or match your level of emotion or headspace about the baby. I think that's probably why so many women find a pregnancy journal so helpful / enjoyable. It can give voice to all the magical things we are feeling and thinking about waiting for this baby, growing within us. ❤️ I do think it gets easier to make friends again once the babies are here, with bf support groups like la leche league, other mommy groups, stroller strides etc. The list goes on. But I agree, pregnancy itself can feel like a very solitary journey at times. (((Hugs))) we got you.
@livingoffpbjs I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing someone that young and wonderful is so unfair. Sending thoughts and prayers for you and your family during this time.
@BusinessWife well now I'm crying again but it's happy tears this time. these are the words I needed to hear today, thank you. this is a marathon with (some) little sprints sprinkled in between - thank you for that perspective. another reason why I love this community. I did start a journal (one I bought when I was 14 for this purpose!) of letters to the baby, starting from when we decided to TTGP through when I gift it to kiddo when they're an adult. it is really helpful for building this connection
The world works in mysterious ways... I mentioned this island feeling on Monday and then today, I found out that the place where I dance (boudoir/pole studio for women/similar gender identities only) has a Mamas group on FB! So far it looks like only one other person in it is PG right now, but hey, they're local and they're mamas and they like to dance! Thought I'd pop in here with the update
@chgilmore Aw, that is so awesome! And I love that you already have something in common, besides motherhood/pregnancy ...and possibly wine. <<<eye roll emojii>>>
@chgilmore Making friends now is hard! I lucked out with an amazing group of local mamas by chance and I couldnt imagine going through the things I have with out them. Im glad you found a mama group and that you guys already have something in common is great!
photographerwife
member
Re: Monday bitch fest
AFM: I have a giant zit on my cheek. It’s red. It’s angry. DS1 keeps telling me I have a bug on my face.
I'm very open to joining groups. I've been looking for them on FB but the ones I've seen haven't been active since like early 2020. and I'm trying to meet people on Peanut but it's slow going. something I've noticed about the local mom culture is that as a whole, it has heavily embraced the whole "wine mom" thing, which is fine, but I don't want to partake in that. I do want to do in person classes and groups (our state's reopen date is on June 30th) so maybe that will help. I'm sure the infamous Seattle Freeze isn't helping either lol.
@Katzalia Busy days with fatigue/nausea are the worst. Hopefully you start feeling better soon.
Thing I'm annoyed about right now? People who don't show up for interviews. My husband asked me if I would do some interviews for one of his stores. Sure, no problem. There were 6 interviews scheduled. And how many showed up? One. I get it. Things come up, people don't really want to work but schedule an interview anyway, whatever. But please just say you're not interested or you got another job or whatever and save everyone some aggravation. The sad part is I was fully prepared that none of them would show up. The positive thing is the one who did show was really promising.
@Katzalia ooooh outdoor prenatal yoga, I like that idea! that sounds super fun and engaging.
@kmb0108 ugh! that would annoy me too. I get the same thing with clients not showing up and not telling me, like hey if you would've told me I could've been home already napping (lol). yes, exactly, it feels like we're all at different points and the therapist in me is all "that is cool and fine, there's space for all of this" and at the same time, the person in me with needs is screaming for connection in more areas.
@makingbacon I’m sorry!! The angry ones are the worst!!
@kmb0108 how frustrating! I always hated hiring for this exact reason. I can’t imagine now after COVID when so many people don’t want to go back to work.
I don’t have anything too “big” to bitch about today. We took some time off homeschooling in May for DS2s birthday and a vacation and just can not get back into our normal routine. School was painful today and between our lessons my boys will not keep their hands to themselves. One or both of them has been crying because the other one hit them the entire day. I cannot wait for my husband to get home so I can put myself in timeout aka hide in the shower for a few minutes😂
<div class="Spoiler">We have been living in a broken world since the fall, where many times, life just isn't fair. Hopefully his passing too soon can be a reminder - for all of us, that the earth is not our home, and now, may he be free of all pain, all limitations, at peace with our Lord. I will keep you and your family in T&P as you walk through your grief in the coming weeks, and beyond. (((((Hugs))))))</div>
Please do try to give yourself permission to feel your feelings completely. Your tears, screams, whatever you need to do - none of it will hurt the baby. I promise.
@chgilmore Isn't it funny how small and quiet our world gets, when we have this thing going on that we want to keep shouting from the rooftops!!! Especially when we have been trying, and have put so much mental energy into that, then the BFP comes, with all its excitement and then... It's quiet again. No one else is possibly going to be as excited for us, every single minute, as we are for ourselves and our baby. And there's kind of a long way to go from now till delivery, with these high points (seeing the baby in a scan, preparing for and having a shower, showing off the nursery etc.) that punctuate what, by and large, is a very intimate time between you and your baby. My experience has been that there may be times too, when even your own partner doesn't seem to get it or match your level of emotion or headspace about the baby. I think that's probably why so many women find a pregnancy journal so helpful / enjoyable. It can give voice to all the magical things we are feeling and thinking about waiting for this baby, growing within us. ❤️ I do think it gets easier to make friends again once the babies are here, with bf support groups like la leche league, other mommy groups, stroller strides etc. The list goes on. But I agree, pregnancy itself can feel like a very solitary journey at times. (((Hugs))) we got you.