PGAL Check-In 6.10

[Deleted User]

This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss(es).
<div>
<div>Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? </div><div>
</div><div>Previous loss(es)? </div><div>
</div><div>How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? </div><div>
</div><div>Any appointment updates? </div><div>
</div><div>Rants/Raves/Questions? </div><div>
</div><div>Any milestones coming up?</div></div>

[Deleted User]

<div>Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 5w1d, Hopefully third baby</div><div>
</div><div>Previous loss(es)? We lost one before DD, had two failed transfers before BG, and one more failure before this one</div><div>
</div><div>How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Mostly feeling good, but very very tired.  At my best, I'm feeling excited, but the fears and doubts are starting to creep in the closer we get to tomorrow's scan...</div><div>
</div><div>Any appointment updates? Not yet!  Friday morning...</div><div>
</div><div>Rants/Raves/Questions? </div><div>
</div><div>Any milestones coming up?  Looking forward to hearing that beautiful heartbeat...</div>

JWatt5

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 5w2d Feb 10 one DS

Previous loss(es)? 4 - 2 chemical, 1 at 6w, 1 at 9w

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Surprisingly I’m feeling pretty good emotionally about things. But I do this the scan anxiety it’s going to be super high this time around. My MC last summer was awful to watch the whole way though. We had a growth defect and it tried for weeks to survive, even a heart beat (at 7w) but we knew it wasn’t ok as it lagged between 4d to 8d behind all the time. 

Any appointment updates? Thursday 

Rants/Raves/Questions? Not really. 

Any milestones coming up? Thursday I’m hoping a heartbeat. 

kmw611

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 6W1D, 2/3, 2 sons

Previous loss(es)? One this past Jan around 5 weeks(Chemical?) 

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?  Better each week but still hesitatingly excited. 

Any appointment updates? I need to find a new provider. My midwife with DS2 doesn’t serve my area now that I’ve moved so I’m hoping for another homebirth midwife but there aren’t many out my way especially who will take VBAC clients. If I have to go hospital provider the dr I had with DS1 is available so I guess that’s something. 

Rants/Raves/Questions? 

Any milestones coming up? Calling all the midwives for phone interviews I guess and then hopefully hearing a heartbeat soon.

[Deleted User]

@fuscok88  Ooh, finding a new provider is always a challenge. May I ask, which deliveries did you have the section(s) for?  I used hospital based midwives and got my VBAC last time, so let me know if you have any questions about that whole experience!

@JWatt5 Will be hoping so hard for a good appointment for you Thursday! <3

kmw611

@BusinessWife with both. 

Possible TW- birth stories. 

My first pregnancy/birth was a shit show tbh. DS1 bio dad bailed about .3 seconds after my BFP. We had been together 6 years and friends since high school. DS was a planned pregnancy, biodad is just a gigantic douche nozzle. We haven’t heard from him in nearly a year or seen him since Super Bowl 2020 despite living 20 minutes apart. He married and had another child less than a year after DS1 was born(take what you will from that). 

So I was alone for basically the entire pregnancy and birth. My mom came to the hospital with me when I was “in labor”. According to the hospital swab my water broke(later in labor it actually broke so I honestly think they lied to keep me and start me on a 24 hour timer since it was 4th of July weekend). After 12 hours of no progress, no contractions they insisted on pitocin and continued to crank it every hour for the next 12 hours. 24 hours into labor my contractions were coming so hard and so fast the young nurse I had prepared the room for delivery before checking me, I was at 3cm. My mom, and only support, begged me to get an epidural because she couldn’t watch me in pain any longer🙄 knowing I wanted a natural birth. 8 hours later fully dilated and unable to fell half my body the nurses told me to start pushing before FER. 4 more hours of no progress, being told by a nurse I’m not trying hard enough and continually ignored and belittled my dr finally shows up again (I saw her maybe 30 minutes total this entire labor) and told me it’s time to just have a csection. My was was 9lbs, 9oz (doc estimated 7 max and insisted my entire pregnancy there was no way I would be having a big baby, DS1 biodad was 10 lbs, I was 8lbs 8oz). I didn’t see or hold my son until 4 hours post csection. I had a significant hemorrhage in my post op room that took multiple interventions to get under control.

DS2 was a homebirth transfer after 28 hours laboring at home, doing phenomenal. FER kicked in and I was pushing uncontrollably. After a couple hours the midwife checked progress and found out I was 9.5 cm dilated and had a cervical lip on one side. We tried several new positions, arnica snd I think a few other things before transferring due to meconium in the waters. The hospitalist was the typical middle age white man who knows better than everyone. He belittled me and my request for other options before giving up and going for a csection. He basically told me you’re on your own call me when your ready to give up. He wasn’t going to stand by while I let my baby die for no reason 😡. We also found out DS2 was posterior once we got to the hospital. My midwife called in everyone, other midwives, doulas, my chiropractor. We tried changing positions, an an adjustment whole in labor, everything. We couldn’t get that cervical lip to go or push past it. At 34 hours I had another csection.

I will not labor/birth at the hospital if I have any alternatives. In my state it’s illegal to vbac at a birth center so my only choice is to find a hbac midwife or have a hospital birth. 

[Deleted User]

Wow @fuscok88 I'm so sorry those were your experiences.  I would also be looking for a new provider if I were you!  I believe @wineo929 is planning for a VBAC2 as well (in January 22).

I understand the extra challenges that go with it all.  In my state I was not allowed to VBAC either at the birth center, and possibly not at home, either.  But if you can find a good home birth team who will take you, that would be awesome.  I'm glad I had success with my hospital based MW team, but there were a number of things that I didn't feel go ideally.  So I am left torn about trying a home birth this time for that reason.  A part of me feels I would be so much more comfortable at home.  While I think DH feels more comfortable having a hospital team - but it's not his birth!  He also hasn't been nearly as hands on as I feel like a lot of women who have those great home birth stories, their partners are.  I also had two epidurals (even though I went in wanting unmedicated births both times) so there is a part of me that probably has that little bit of fear about how having a truly intervention free birth might really go.  Although a dear friend just had an AMAZING home birth, where she said she really didn't believe people when they said birth could be that good!?? So I'm trying to trust that this could be an entirely new experience. :)

We should probably start a home birth or low-intervention birth plan thread, either now or as things get closer.  I'm sure we might have other interested parties!

photographerwife

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 6w1d February 4th, 2022. This is my 3rd pregnancy, and hopefully my second LC. 

Previous loss(es)? One ectopic loss in January 2020

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Good. I feel better after having the placement scan, and hearing the heartbeat. But PGAL brain is still making it hard for me to become overly attached, even though I want to be so bad. I’ve wanted this pregnancy for so long. And I’m dreading getting thrown back into the infertility world if that’s where it takes us, so I’m hoping and praying everything stays healthy with this pregnancy. 

Any appointment updates? I have a bloodwork/financials appointment with my ob this Wednesday the 17th and another ultrasound at 7w6d on the 24th! 

Rants/Raves/Questions? Going to lunch with dh and baby son for the first time in a while today! We havent eaten out together in so long! 

Any milestones coming up? 

@BusinessWife so glad your ultrasound went well yesterday! 

@jwatt5 good luck with your ultrasound this week! 

@fuscock88 wow! It sounds like you’ve had a really hard time with your previous labors. I hope this time is better for you, and that you can get your VBAC. Where I am you can only deliver VBACS at the trauma 1 hospital, and mine is a trauma 2. So I won’t be going for a VBAC because with my son, I was in labor for nearly 48 hours, with pitocin and everything and still didn’t dilate. Although I’d love the experience, I don’t think I’d be a good candidate because of that, and tbh, I feel like it will be kind of nice just to get it over with. 

kmw611

@BusinessWife they weren’t completely bad, my boys were born healthy so that’s of course important. Being at home for my labor with my second was amazing. Laboring in my birth pool was amazing. My midwives were wonderful and I’m really sad I can’t have them again. My biggest takeaway from my births was how awful the drs and hospital staff were while I was in labor. The aftercare nurses were great except for one new nurse who tried to remove the staples dr asshat(2nd csection) used to close my incision with the wrong tool so was basically just digging around causing me pain. Then she glued the abdominal binder to my incision. No one knew I had staples until I got up to use the bathroom the first time because it’s not standard so we think that dr used them just as an added eff you because I didn’t immediately give in to his insistence I have a csection. It’s sparked a big distrust of drs and the hospital for me.

Im glad you had a great experience with your midwives and got your vbac! Hopefully your husband gets on board with whatever decision you make for your birth. If you decide to go homebirth and your husband isn’t really hands on I would definitely recommend a doula. My husband like forgot all the stuff from our birth class and needed a lot of encouragement from my midwives to get in there and help with pain management. 

@photographerwife the recovery from the second one definitely wasn’t as bad as the first one. Idk if that was because I had been there before or if it was just easier. I’ve heard a scheduled csection is an even easier recovery. 

wineo929

BusinessWife said:

Wow @fuscok88 I'm so sorry those were your experiences.  I would also be looking for a new provider if I were you!  I believe @wineo929 is planning for a VBAC2 as well (in January 22).

I'm so sorry @fuscok88 My stories aren't identical to yours, but I was pressured into having a scheduled repeat c/s. Since then I've read so many peer-reviewed articles and even back in 2015 when I had my repeat c/s-- the science was clear. VBACs are the preferred method. Anyway, I am having AN AWFUL time finding a provider here who will even entertain conversations of a VBA2c and it is so, so frustrating. Send me a PM if you ever want to chat- I get it!

kmw611

@wineo929 I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time finding a provider! It’s ridiculous when the science is so clear like you said. My SIL works in an OBs office and likes to get little comments in about how wrong I am for wanting a Vba2cand how dangerous it is because “she sees these things all the time”🙄. She just treats everything her doc says as gospel without ever doing her own research. I like to send her ACOG recommendations and articles in support of Vba2c and Vbac🤷🏻‍♀️. Some of our offices here are known for being tolerant at best but really unsupportive, hers is one of them. 

angelz429

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 5 weeks/Feb 14/2 living children 

Previous loss(es)? Loss in Feb 2021 at almost 24 weeks

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? I’m excited and scared. Physically ok. 

Any appointment updates? Have an early appt this Friday. I have a history of CHI and will need to be on a lot of medication and monitored very closely

Rants/Raves/Questions? Natm

Any milestones coming up? Not right now

angelz429

I’m a psychiatrist. I am a physician. I went to medical school and did rotations in ob. My first child was a natural birth. My second was a preemie breech so c section for my 31 weeker. 

I know people successfully have home births, but as a physician, and as a mom who held my almost 24 week dead baby in my arms, I would never recommend home birth. I advocate for vbac whenever possible and I advocate for whatever will decrease mine/anyone else’s risk of holding a dead baby. It’s the most awful thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.