Permission/Am I the bad guy?

bumpedup6419

My husband just “asked permission” to go on a guys weekend while I’ll be in my 8th month of pregnancy. If this were my first pregnancy, I’d be fine with this, but I’ll be taking care of our two year old alone. We will also all be very jetlagged. I think it’s unfair that he asked me because I either have to be the bad guy and say no or I say yes and then I resent him for not realizing this is too much work for me. I wish he would realize this is a bad idea, for many reasons, on his own instead of putting it all on me. 

coldlife2

bumpedup6419 said:

My husband just “asked permission” to go on a guys weekend while I’ll be in my 8th month of pregnancy. If this were my first pregnancy, I’d be fine with this, but I’ll be taking care of our two year old alone. We will also all be very jetlagged. I think it’s unfair that he asked me because I either have to be the bad guy and say no or I say yes and then I resent him for not realizing this is too much work for me. I wish he would realize this is a bad idea, for many reasons, on his own instead of putting it all on me. 

No, I don’t think you’re a bad guy for expressing your desires. But I also don’t think he’s a bad guy for wanting to go, and I don’t think he’s a bad guy “for not realizing this is too much work for me.” 

My husband went on a week-long work trip when I was 38 weeks pregnant leaving me with a 3yo and 1.5yo. I handled it, and it wasn’t too much work. 

harpseal135

Let him enjoy a guys weekend, then in exchange do a weekend of pampering while he watches the kids. 

Do a trade off - sorry, but its doable there are going to be times where you have 3 young ones w/out him there you can do a weekend preg w/ 2.  

coldlife2

harpseal135 said:

Let him enjoy a guys weekend, then in exchange do a weekend of pampering while he watches the kids. 

Do a trade off - sorry, but its doable there are going to be times where you have 3 young ones w/out him there you can do a weekend preg w/ 2.  

She only has one right now, not two. 

georgiamomof2

No ones comments will be the right answer... it's about how you feel and what your own body can handle. I think you might have guilty feelings for telling him no but at the same time, everyone is different with how much they can manage and you shouldn't feel guilty if no is your answer. If it causes you alot of worry, anxiety and stress then express that to him and just talk to him about your needs during this time in your pregnancy. You are after all carry his child and surely he would be understanding about the extra stress put on you and technically baby..

If it were my husband asking while I'm now 8½ months, no guilt at all, his answer would be "nope, should have planned at a better time and earlier in the year".. if it was work related, it would be a different scenario but again, don't feel guilty (or resentful) with whatever your decision is.. ultimately listen to your body and you deem what you can or cannot handle and express your feelings/thoughts/concerns to your him, who as your partner should take all into consideration.