Advised to never get pregnant again but it happened.

mrsarmstrong1618

So long story but my first pregnancy almost killed me. I have severe autoimmune issues and anaphylactic reactions to all medications so it’s controlled through the only supplements and herbs that have ever managed to control it to keep me alive thankfully I have those. Not safe for pregnancy or breastfeeding. I almost died due to many other issues with my first. Thankfully HE was fine. Perfectly healthy, came a little early on his own at 37 weeks, no problems, had a very quick 3 hour labor without any medications or drugs. 

That said. I was heavily advised to never have another baby due to the severity of my conditions.  Well, my husband was going to get snipped but due to life getting INSANE it’s just not something we got around to. We have always been super careful. I can’t take hormonal BC so I chart my cycle like a hawk, we always use condoms AND we don’t even have PIV sex at all in a ten day range from my ovulation window. Usually only have PIV the 4-5 days leading up to my period. I have regular cycles. ONE TIME we used a condom (brand new, top of the line quality, it didn’t break or anything, put it on immediately, I don’t even know) and I was about 6 days from ovulation. Thought the risk had to be nonexistent but apparently that doesn’t always work. Well. I got pregnant. I literally am shocked. We both were astonished and very puzzled that I’m pregnant from that, but it would have to be from that one time. 

I’m currently 16 weeks and experiencing even more severe things because I cannot take medications and my herbal supplements will induce miscarriage or cause severe birth defects, so I can’t have those. Without those, my body just destroys itself. 

I don’t believe in abortion and I do NOT want one. I’m not throwing judgement on anyone here whatsoever but personally I just couldn’t ever get one. 

But I don’t know what else to do. At this point all my doctors have literally told me I’m on my own because they cannot help me. I have two very rare conditions that there is barely any data studies on and ZERO treatment options for, and they’re dangerous. One is where my body attacks the muscles in my chest and lungs and I cannot get enough oxygen or breathe well. I can’t even be hospitalized or given oxygen because I’ll die if I have medications (not exaggerating, have learned this the hard way, it’s terrible), and the oxygen wouldn’t matter because it affects my body’s ability to actually intake and distribute oxygen throughout my bloodstream and etc. so even being given oxygen doesn’t do anything for me. 

The other issue I have is a severe type of autoimmune migraine that causes extreme brain swelling along with stroke-like symptoms and they can last for days or weeks. It’s been a horrible nightmare and this pregnancy so far has aggravated my body even worse than my first one did. 

We don’t have good access to ultrasounds (or good doctors at this point) so I haven’t even been able to get a scan to see if baby is okay. I’ve been having a lot of preterm labor symptoms off and on. Essentially since I’ve tried the medication and hospitalization route and it only made things worse, the doctors have told me unless I want to terminate the pregnancy, they really can’t do anything for me. Sigh. Has anyone ever dealt with this? I just don’t even know what to do. I want this baby. I never thought I’d have another one and I can’t believe it happened but I don’t know how to calm my body down. We’ve even driven upwards of 6-8 hours trying to find specialists and other doctors who can help and not received much because I always go into anaphylactic shock if I have meds/drugs. I’m getting tired of dealing with anaphylaxis too, sigh. Has anyone ever dealt with anything like this before? 

chuchugak

I am so sorry you are dealing with this, it sounds incredibly painful and you anf your husband both have alot it deal with.  Sending you prayers and FX for health and clarity. 

mbradfo2

I feel the same way about abortion in almost all instances although I believe everyone has a right to choose what is best for them. 

However (and I'm not trying to be harsh here...just sharing my thought process) -- your life is no longer your own anymore. You have a child who depends on you and needs you to be healthy...and well, alive. If pregnancy is life-threatening for you, I think you need to consider every aspect of this very closely. No one wants to end a pregnancy voluntarily, but your stance is probably worth further consideration in light of your need to prioritize your living child's needs. 

At some level, the doctors will eventually have to intervene if you continue to decline (of course, you can always reject them and continue on with your pregnancy AMA -- against medical advice). There is also the possibility that you won't be the one making the decision if you are incapacitated due to pregnancy complications.  Can you make it to viability? You need to have a sit down with your OB and a MFM (high risk specialist) and devise a plan of action. You say you have lack of access to appropriate medical care -- see what you can do to address that (perhaps telehealth visits/phone consult?).

It's your choice. I could tell you what I would do, but that wouldn't really matter because I'm not you and I'm not the one facing your situation. I just urge you to consider the impact your decisions may have on your living child. 

lotsaknots

I am praying for you. I hope it works out that you can keep the baby. See if someone will help you deliver early so you and baby don’t have to go through so much risk for a prolonged period—surely there’s a doctor who can help.