What to do about grandparents who refuse vaccine — The Bump
October 2021 Moms

What to do about grandparents who refuse vaccine

My husband's parents are divorced and both have remarried.  Both sets of parents are refusing to get the vaccine.  Hubby and I discussed how to handle that with visits after the baby is born.  We've agreed that they either need to be fully vaccinated or self isolate for 10 days before they can visit the baby.  Is anyone else in the same boat?  If so, what are you telling family and how did they react?  We have not had this discussion with them yet and I am nervous about their reaction.  
purplegoldpirate

Re: What to do about grandparents who refuse vaccine

  • Well my own parents are not vaccinated so I feel you there. I completely agree with your suggestions! I respect those who aren’t comfortable getting the vaccine yet, because I myself am not just due to being pregnant and being wary. But it’s definitely fair to be cautious of course.
    I don’t blame you for being nervous, but stand your ground. It’s your child, you’ve carried them for 9 months and in my opinion if they don’t want to do your suggestions then they don’t really want to see your baby. 
    Good luck 🍀 
    mac-n-cheesemia8263
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  • I agree. While I am not in the same boat. I would stand your ground and set clear boundaries. I have to set some other boundaries related around health with my mom. And that is my rule, I'm clear and concise with her and she backs down. I think she understands that by not doing that she won't see DS so hopefully your family sees it the same way. Good luck!
    mac-n-cheesepurplegoldpirate
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  • I agree with others that you should do what you feel comfortable with and I think that giving them the option of still seeing the baby without being vaccinated but having quarantined is fair! Especially in the first couple weeks- month where baby’s health is extra fragile! We have already had a baby during covid, our son was born September 2020. And it was hard having stricter rules than we did with our first son but we only let our parents meet him the first month and then in the second month we let my husband’s sister’s family meet him outside and once he was 2 months our other siblings and their families plus some friends started meeting him. This is just what we were comfortable with. I also had a strict no kissing him rule in the beginning as well. I’m hoping by October there will be more herd immunity but we shall see! 
  • Because of the fall/flu season due date we’re planning to require COVID, flu and Tdap shots to access the baby. And we’ll ask people not to come if they’re otherwise unwell. We will also ask people to wash their hands upon entry to our house (this has long been a guideline in our home and it’s something we do ourselves when we first arrive at our house or someone else’s.) I’ll consider being more lenient on Tdap for those who are just visiting and not caretakers. My baby my rules. 

    I will say this is made easier for us on one side of the family by a cousin with the same standards for access to her kids. And I don’t care if I piss off my extended family so that’s fine too. 

    My MIL just texted me this week to tell me she got her Tdap booster. And my FIL, who I thought would be anti-Covid vaccine, got his second jab last week. 
    gingermama46cait32
  • @purplegoldpirate I couldn't remember the vaccine that I had grandparents get with DS and it's the TDAP! Do you happen to know how often folks have to get it? 5 years?
  • Thankfully, all of our parents have the vaccine. When my daughter was born, my FIL wasn’t planning on getting the flu shot and had never gotten it before. He just hates doctors and anything medical and avoids it at all costs. DH was so awkward about the whole thing but I put my foot down and said they had to have tdap and flu shots to see the baby and my MIL made her husband get them :) 

    If there was someone who wanted to see the baby but wasn’t vaccinated, I would say isolation and a covid test would be necessary before visiting, but I’d be hesitant to have anyone around for the first few months who hadn’t been vaccinated. 
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