Weekly Randoms 4/14

jackie_dunny

doodleoodle

My SIL is the golden child despite countless reckless decisions and my husband is the scapegoat even though he’s hands down the most responsible child. This preferences have transferred to the grandchildren. My SIL told me yesterday she might be pregnant and all I could think about is how upset my husband will be when his parents don’t care at all about our new baby. 

Rant over. I just had to get it out somewhere.

jackie_dunny

@doodleoodle I could have written this myself. My MIL knows we’re expecting and still all she freaking talks about is SIL’s son and is always comparing my pregnancy to hers. Like, every. single. time. And it’s really doing my head in because she KNOWS I can’t stand her little witch of a daughter. 

doodleoodle

@jackie_dunny I remember you mentioning that! I’m sorry it’s still ongoing 😞 hopefully they will at least not play favorites with grandchildren. If you need to vent anytime I’m your girl haha

I actually really like my SIL. I dislike how my in-laws treat her and her kids like they’re the center of the universe and we’re an afterthought. 

jackie_dunny

@doodleoodle I know ❤️ Ugh that really sucks to be feel like the afterthought. How often do you see them? For me, I never see my SIL so I just try to pretend she doesn’t exist and only deal with her when I have to and I found it helps lol 

doodleoodle

@jackie_dunny my in-laws typically only come around to ruin birthdays and holidays 

sliztee

@doodleoodle hugs to you and your husband ❤️ It really sucks to feel less than a sibling. 

sliztee

doodleoodle said:

@jackie_dunny my in-laws typically only come around to ruin birthdays and holidays 

lmfao - this is why we don’t even have communication with my MIL 🙃

ETA: she ruins all the days, not just special ones. 

jackie_dunny

@doodleoodle lmao I’m sorry about your situation but you make me laugh 😂

RoseShadow873

I just got my first covid vaccine today! I'm probably going to be a little paranoid now. I had wanted to wait a few more weeks.

doodleoodle

@slitzee we live within walking distance of them now and are moving states away this summer. I think it’ll be great for this situation. I’m sorry about your MIL. 😞

sliztee

doodleoodle said:

@slitzee we live within walking distance of them now and are moving states away this summer. I think it’ll be great for this situation. I’m sorry about your MIL. 😞

No need to be sorry! We're very happy with our decision

MaximumEffort

Oh my. I actually love my in-laws, I wasn't sure about them at the beginning.  I met my DH again and we were married a little over a year after being together. They are inviting and welcoming to anyone and it rubbed me the wrong way because his ex is psychi (I'm talking break into his house and throw his prized fish across the room after crashing the tank down crazy). 
My parents on the other hand tend to be judgemental and the first thing my dad said when we told him we were pregnant last time was "looks like you really need a new job now". 

doodleoodle

@MaximumEffort yikes. I wouldn’t have taken that well. If it makes you feel a smidge better, when I told my mom we were considering having a fourth baby she said, “oh no. Don’t do that. Enjoy your life.”.... I am her fourth baby. 😐

sliztee

@MaximumEffort @doodleoodle

Yikes on both accounts...sorry, guys. 

artsiefartsie

Sh*tty family sucks all around,  I'm sorry you guys have to deal with that!

jenharvey84

I miss my family and only have the in-laws to be nearby. My family are all in the UK and it's been over a year since I've seen them. There have been times in the last few weeks where I've thought "Damn, I really need my mum!" I've felt super lonely, I don't have a community in the new place I live and it's hard during the pandemic. I'm so uncomfortable and sick that I can't really do anything fun. So I'm just bored and miserable and lonely. I've started to resent the lovely house we live in because I'm always here. I take little short walks which I find so boring. I have no energy for anything else. Some of partner's family are close by, but I don't know them all that well. Not well enough for honest conversations about pregnancy. I just want my friends and my family and not be uncomfortably introduced to people through my partner because he thinks we'll be friends. 

Sorry massive rant. I'm feeling a lot of things tonight. Rough day

jackie_dunny

@jenharvey84 I definitely feel you on this! I’m in the exact same boat but opposite (originally from the US and now live in the UK). I’ve been here a few years now though so I have my own friendships and things but I’ve definitely been where you are so I understand what you’re going through ❤️ how long have you been in the US for?

sliztee

@jenharvey84 feel your feelings, girlfriend! I lived 1000 miles away from my mom during my first pregnancy and the first two years of Arlo’s life, and no joke, it was hard. I missed her horribly and often said to myself, “I just want my mom!” The last year must have been especially terrible, given the circumstances. Big hugs❤️

doodleoodle

@jenharvey84 hopefully you start to feel better in the second trimester and the pandemic eases up and you can join some local clubs or a church if you’re at all religious. Hugs ❤️

jenharvey84

@jackie_dunny it's been 2.5 years but all my friends and network are in SF and I moved to Santa Cruz in December so it's still all new to be here. I'm hoping to get my vaccine soon so I can start feeling more comfortable about mingling and joining communities.

@sliztee it's so hard isn't it. I wish I could just fly my mum and dad over but it's not that easy. Cannot wait to see them again. Virtual just isn't the same.

@doodleoodle I cannot wait to feel better so I can at least try out a yoga class or something. I'm a social person but I feel like the pandemic has turned me into a recluse. 

Thanks for the love, ladies. Was a tough night with anxiety

marbellie

When is the earliest anyone who has used home dopplers heard the heartbeat? I'm thinking of breaking mine out from the basement baby storage but wonder when I should even start trying 🤔

Also I'm late on the in laws/missing family discussion, but belated hugs to everyone!!

artsiefartsie

@marbellie I heard it 9 weeks on my home doppler.  Tried it again and 10 and had a really hard time finding it which stressed me out but did end up finding it. So you could hear it, but don't stress if you don't.  The baby is tiny and moves around a lot ❤

sliztee

I had surgery on my thumb/wrist today. It was AWESOME to watch and I’m now holed up in my bed (high on a painkiller) while Jeff takes care of Arlo. What should I watch? I have Netflix, Hulu, HBO and Showtime, and as discussed in the UO thread, I hate reality tv. Go!

rabtaido1214

@sliztee we recently started watching Good Girls. It’s beyond ridiculous, but I’m kinda addicted. It’s on Netflix. Hope you heal fast, but require enough bed rest to get a good series in.

doodleoodle

rabtaido1214 said:

@sliztee we recently started watching Good Girls. It’s beyond ridiculous, but I’m kinda addicted. It’s on Netflix. Hope you heal fast, but require enough bed rest to get a good series in.

I second Good Girls. It has a great cast and is really funny and silly. Also, I love to drool over one of the characters.

doodleoodle

My SIL isn’t pregnant!!! I don’t even feel bad about being happy because she’s relieved.

rabtaido1214

@doodleoodle I bet I know which character!!!! It is such a love/hate emotion I have haha

doodleoodle

@rarabtaido1214 said:

@doodleoodle I bet I know which character!!!! It is such a love/hate emotion I have haha

Of course you know which character! 🤣 If i met that character in real life there is no way in hell. He is not my actual type at all, but for some reason when he’s on screen all I can do is 🤤

eggsandwich2019

I've been AWOL because it's just been nuts around here. Speaking of ILs, mine visited for 2 weeks (we hadn't seen them since Christmas 2019) and while of course it was good to see them 2 weeks is a LONG time. Our house was on the market (we have since accepted an offer) and my MIL broke her foot on Easter. I just have been struggling to keep afloat with everything going on. I'm not so patiently waiting for genetic results from the Maternity 21 screening I had last week, so that's adding to stress. Anyway just wanted to stop in and say hi and that I will hopefully be around more now that the ILs are gone and people aren't coming to see our house every few hours. 

tanyadk

@RoseShadow873 how do you feel after your first vaccine? I’m getting my first tomorrow and am a little nervous. 

As for the in laws- yikes so sorry everyone. We lived with my MIL before we got married (yikes) and she would walk around naked. She’s since passed and I actually found an appreciation for her eccentricities. Free spirit and all. My brother in law is great, his wife not so much. She’s super passive aggressive and fake and is constantly trying to hand off her old, ruined clothes and toys to me..I love second hand, don’t get me wrong but if it’s broken, has holes in it and generally can’t be used...that’s time for trash or recycling lady. Anyway, it’s minimal. And sadly my mom has become super negative lately too which makes it difficult to want have her around but also in the same boat of, I feel so sick and just want my mom...but how badly do I really...😂

tanyadk

@sliztee I started watching the Nevers on HBO Max and so far it’s entertaining. 

doodleoodle

@eggsandwich2019 wow! That’s a lot to handle. I hope you get a moment to catch your breath before you have to start the moving process.

@tanyadk I totally sympathize with the “how badly do I really want my mom around” train of thought due to negativity. Hugs  

tanyadk

@doodleoodle right? Thanks hugs to you too!

general question for STM+ with kids close in age: I’m trying to get my daughter to not use pull ups at night anymore. Any tips? She’s pretty good about telling us during the day but it would be amazing to have her out of pulls up before this baby comes. She will be a little over 2.5yrs when baby comes. Should I even bother or has anything worked for y’all? 

RoseShadow873

@tanyadk I have felt totally fine after the first vaccine. No symptoms at all. It has been 6 days now.

Editing to add that my arm did hurt pretty bad the day of the shot! It went away after that first day though.

doodleoodle

@tanyadk A lot of people say that nighttime wetting is something beyond their control, but I disagree. My oldest was in pull-ups at night until she was almost 5. She woke up every morning wet. She only stopped wearing pull-ups at night when I took them away. She had a few accidents at first, but has been fine since. With my second we switched to undies at night once she got her daytime training down. She’s also had some accidents here and there.

If the thought of changing sheets at 2AM is daunting to you then you could always try putting pull-ups over undies in the hopes that she will be uncomfortable enough to get up and tell you, but in my experience that doesn’t work. I have a friend who put a puppy pad under her toddler at night to reduce the mess, but that seemed to send the message to me that you expected them to fail 🤷‍♀️

tanyadk

@doodleoodle I really like that. We’ve basically done that during the day. She’s just in her undies and she lets us know. Hopefully the same will go at night. She’s been waking up after/as she’s going at night so I think we’re heading in the right direction but I may wait until I feel less sick to take the pull ups  completely away just so I can be the one to handle the accidents/changing sheets,  just because I don’t want to give DH yet another thing to have to do/worry about right now. He’s already doing all the things for us + working. This gives me hope! Thank you! 

tanyadk

RoseShadow873 said:

@tanyadk I have felt totally fine after the first vaccine. No symptoms at all. It has been 6 days now.

Editing to add that my arm did hurt pretty bad the day of the shot! It went away after that first day though.

Thank you! that’s a relief. Hoping same for me! I’m usually fine after vaccinations/immunizations. Just have some extra anxiety around this one. 🤷🏽‍♀️ 

doodleoodle

@tanyadk you’re welcome! I took way too long to take them away with my oldest because it seemed like such a daunting thing to accomplish, but as long as you have a waterproof mattress cover it’s not a big deal. The only other tip I have is to get a spare set of the sheets she’s currently using. The last thing you want to be doing in the middle of the night is arguing with a 2 year old about having to use the “plain ugly” spare sheets. 

artsiefartsie

I'm a big fan of the "double sheets with a waterproof layer in between" so in the middle of the night you just have to strip the top wet layer and then you have a nice already made bed at 2 am lol

doodleoodle

@artsiefartsie you just blew my mind.