Randoms- 4/12 — The Bump
August 2021 Moms

Randoms- 4/12

What's on your mind this week?  :)

Re: Randoms- 4/12

  • I'm supposed to be deep cleaning the apartment today and I'm so annoyed with just how much random crap we have! Most of it is gifts from family members that don't know what to get us for holidays/birthdays so we just get random stuff we would never use/want. Everything is either getting donated or trashed! I'm kind of dreading how much baby crap they are going to get us that we don't need - we live in a small apartment, we don't have room for all of this!
  • @dancingnarwhal omg there's so much junk. Some of it is useful (but like ... still junk) but there's also so much that's unnecessary. 
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  • @dancingnarwhal solidarity! We just did a huge purge and it felt soooo good. It's insane how much stuff just accumulates, even when you try to stay on top of it.

    We are having a big of a childcare dilemma and I'm trying not to freak out. We recently decided to put my son in Pre-K 4 as opposed to holding him back for another year in Pre-K 3. (I feel good about this decision, but know that "redshirting" and "holding back" is a very personal topic, so not looking to open that can of worms...) Anyway, the issue is now that Pre-K4 starts in mid-August, and his current school year/care contract ends mid July. So we will be out of care for 3.5 weeks, over the period I am going to be on baby watch and then delivering. Because this was a very recent decision, I missed a lot of the deadlines and spots for summer camps and our regular sitters work business hours. Our parents will also be coming down after the baby arrives and I don't think they can come to help with DS AND stay when the baby is here (which I was really counting on, especially since it is likely I'll have another section.) I'm sure we'll figure it out, but gah, this is tough.
  • I’m terrified of what all the in-laws will buy for this baby. With DD they think quantity is better than quality, so we end up with so much. And we have so much already! I told MIL that I’m going to have to check her or keep stuff at her house! She just laughed. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @emmylou78 same! Even though my in-laws live in another country, they still send so much junk. We've just put a moratorium on trucks. Thankfully they decided to just mail a cheque for Easter instead of sending candy and other stuff. The one good thing about them living so far away is that I can just donate it after snapping a photo of it.
    @surrenderdorothy the mental acrobatics of figuring out childcare is so stressful. I still have two summers before I have to worry about childcare through the summer, but it's already stressing me out just thinking about it. 
  • I feel like I just got my first Mom Badge™️

    Fully cashed out at the grocery store with a full cart and DUH my wallet is in my car. Because it no longer fits in my pocket when I'm driving because of thus beast inside me haha

    I have a pretty solid relationship with my in laws, but it's the extended aunts I'm worried about. 5 of them and this is the first grandbaby. 😶
  • @surrenderdorothy ugh summer childcare is such a pain in the ass. Do you know any educators or college-aged kids who could hop in for a few weeks? That may be outside your risk tolerance
  • @emmylou78 - I'm more worried about my own mom than my in-laws! If my brother and sister-in-law even mention "oh we're thinking about if we should get X for DD" immediately my mom will go out and buy it. And she's such a bargain shopper that sometimes it's really not the best quality it's just the least expensive. Which is the exact opposite of how my husband and I are with money - we are willing to spend more if it means better quality.

    I'm just getting ready to make some bulk trips to Goodwill. My parents and my in-laws know we 1) live in a small apartment and 2) are moving (possibly across the country) within a year of baby being born. They don't get to bitch if we get rid of a bunch of stuff they sent without asking because we don't have room and/or don't want to lug it across the country.
  • @BourbonBiscuits not to sound flippant about Covid, but at this point we are just desperate to line up care. I hope the downward trend of cases continues because I am not sure what we'll do without all options on the table. Also, to answer your question, we definitely need to get a college student back in the rotation. We had a sitter we LOVED when DS was young, but she graduated and left for med school. It was such a loss. I need to put the time in to gathering names and interviewing people. We live in a city with a bunch of colleges, so a lot of potential sitter pools (thank god!)

    @doodlemom131 the "beast inside me" line made me LOL. Hahaha
  • @surrenderdorothy not flippant at all! We just heard that one of the houses down the street was bought by a dad to be used by his two college daughters and I'm beyond excited to scope them out and hopefully get them in our rotation. We have a high schooler we love for short outings, but I'd want someone older for full days.
  • @claireloSC CBC radio is running a short program called Canada Listens where five celebrity panelists champion an album that every Canadian should listen to. One of the panelists, Alicia Elliott chose the Con! Sadly it was voted off this morning (day 3 of 5), but now I am on a the Con kick and it made me think of you  :)
  • @dancingnarwhal, I am the QUEEN of purging. It drives my DH crazy. I get into "nesting-mode" very early on in my pregnancies and go room-by-room, organizing every square inch. Last weekend was all of the bedrooms. I got rid of three bags of clothes/shoes. And a bag of blankets. Why do people feel the need to buy my kids 8 million blankets?!? It feels SO good to get rid of all the crap! Also, I'm VERY lucky that most of my family members are very "minimal baby gear" just like I am, so people don't overload me with cheap baby crap!
    @surrenderdorothy, arranging childcare is one of the WORST parts of being a mom. Solidarity!
  • Our snow started in the early hours of the morning today. It’s put me in such a funk and I don’t want to do anything. I have a lot to do today - I’m trying to do as much as I can today and tomorrow because tomorrow I get my 2nd Pfizer shot and don’t want to have to do anything Friday if I don’t have to. 
  • Kind of freaking out. My OB office just called me yesterday to tell me that my OB is taking an "unexpected medical leave of absence for the foreseeable future." Ummmm, WHAT?!?! They had to re-schedule my May appointment, so obviously they're anticipating that it's going to be a while. I'm worried about her, but also really sad for myself. I like the other doctors in the practice, but she is my person! She delivered my son too and I'm going to be so sad if she doesn't deliver this baby. Ugh.
  • @cyanope yikes that is scary! Both for her and for you. I hope she's okay. Maybe she'll be back by July/August?
  • @BourbonBiscuits, I sure hope so! I just hope everything is okay!
  • @cyanope - That is such a bummer! Hopefully she will be back and you like her replacement!
  • Snow! Oh heck nah @mrspants0809! It’s 60s here and I’m ready for it to be so much warmer. I’d be super sad with snow, too. 

    @cyanope. My OB left during my first pregnancy, like left the country with no notice. I was only 2 visits in so it didn’t really matter. Then that OB didn’t deliver DD anyway because she was the only one in her practice and had just went off call. It’s weird thinking I don’t actually know how she’ll be during labor and delivery! 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @cyanope that really sucks! With my first we had a weird situation where the midwife I met the first 2 times left on mat leave (which we knew was going to happen), then the one who took over for her went on vacation and just... didn’t come back. So 4 weeks before my due date, my primary midwife left, and even though I knew the others, that meant they were short staffed and it was hard to find appointment times. 
    Then by fluke, the same week, my doula had a death in her family and quit as well, so I only ever met my new doula for like 10 minutes before she was there for the L&D. 

    I ended up loving the midwife we ended up with, I think it was mostly the time spend during labour that actually made for some bonding, but this will be my first time having an OB instead so I don’t really know quite what to expect. But I do know it would really suck to think I’d have someone I already knew well and then have that change. 
  • @cyanope oh no! I hope your doctor is okay, but understand the desire for consistency of care. Hopefully you are able to build good rapport with your new to you OB. 

    My doctor didn’t make it in time to deliver my first, so I ended up having a random doctor who happened to be on the delivery floor at the time haha. But she made it in time for my second kid. Although honestly, I spent more time with the labour and delivery nurses than my doctor. But maybe that was simply the circumstances of my labours? 
  • @pickle-chips they voted off the con??? how dare they! :) 
    @cyanope sorry to hear about the switcheroo, that totally sucks. having a care provider you trust is so important. both my previous and current practice gave me one ob i always saw, but you get anyone in the practice at delivery so i don't stress too much about it. agree with PC that I also saw the nurses way more.
    @surrenderdorothy so sorry for the childcare stress! That is the worst age to find care for as well, we had such a hard time finding care for DD the last two years. I hope you can figure something out quickly, that's so annoying!
    @dancingnarwhal love the purge! Since we moved we have just been throwing so much stuff out. this house is similar size to our apt, but we have way less storage and there is just so much junk we really don't use that's accumulated in the three years we lived in the place. buy nothing groups are great to get rid of everything quickly!
    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerMarried DW <3 08.2013; AI 2x; IUI 6x; IUI #7 05.2015; DD born 2.2016 o:); Reciprocal IVF FET #1 on 11.18.2020 
  • Thanks, everyone! I know there is always a possibility that my regular OB won't be at the delivery (that happened with my daughter). I'm high risk (carnitine deficiency) so I have a LOT of appointments. My OB is just so laid back about everything which is what I need during pregnancy. I'm high energy and have pretty bad anxiety (especially during pregnancy), so her calming nature chills me out. I've seen the other OB's in the practice before (they have us see the other ones a couple of times just in case they're at delivery), and they're a little more intense than her...which isn't great for my anxiety. My regular OB knows my history really well, whereas the other two don't, so they get a bit more "up in arms" about everything. Ugh. I'm sure it will all be fine, but I'm not looking forward to having to re-explain my history and deal with all of their extra "concerns." I want to be like, "look, this isn't my first rodeo. Dr. G and I know what the best course of action is here. Don't try to eff with it." 
  • Ugh, anyone else struggling with balancing hydration vs. having to pee? I was doing really good in early pregnancy with drinking 2-3 liters a day, but I’m finding myself avoiding it more and more because I’m just so tired of getting up to pee 10,000 times a day! It’s such a pain at work to be constantly back and forth to the restroom, and then once I get home I don’t want to because more drinking will mean getting up a ton in the night. How are you all dealing with it? Especially those of you who are like teachers or some other job where you literally can’t go that often... I’m peeing like a dozen times a work day when I’m sufficiently hydrated and I’m sure that’s not feasible in a lot of non-office jobs!
  • doodlemom131doodlemom131 member
    edited April 2021
    @the_most_happy I have no advice to give but am also frustrated with peeing. Working in the vineyard with a bunch of guys who just pee wherever and I have to basically stop work for 15m to get to the barn (there are farm vehicles but it's broken at this location). I feel so guilty every time and try to only go once during morning and afternoon.

    I just keep trying to remind myself that it's not my fault and they understand. Being hydrated is more important than ever for me. I also bring my bottle with me where they leave theirs at the end of a row and drink every like hour.
  • @the_most_happy the pee annoyance is REAL. Do you do that hip rotation thing when you're peeing so you're sure to totally empty your bladder? That's the only thing that even remotely helps me.
  • @BourbonBiscuits ooooo no, what is that??
  • Two things...
    1. DH felt baby kick for the first time last night. He "thought" he felt baby last week, but it was a DEFINITE last night. Baby was kicking so flipping hard. I'm excited because I have an anterior placenta, so I didn't think he'd be able to feel for a while yet. DD and DS are going to be SO excited. They keep asking to feel baby, so now we're in business! 
    2. This should probably go in the questions thread, but since I'm already here, I'll just post! I'm debating between two diaper bags and cannot, for the life of me, decide! Here are my requirements:
    • MUST be a "boxy" style backpack
    • MUST be cute and not look like a diaper bag 
    • MUST also be functional
    • MUST be leather (or, vegan leather more specifically)
    • MUST have a simple design and no prints
    I *think* I've narrowed it down to these two bags.
    Lily Jade Caroline
    Freshly Picked Classic
    Does anyone have any experience with either of these bags? Or have another bag that meets the above criteria? Or, if you just want to share your opinion on which one YOU would pick? I just can't make a decision and I'm driving myself crazy...
  • @cyanope I don't have in-person experience with either of the bags, but I did look at the FP Classic the last time I was looking for a new diaper bag! I ended up ruling it out because I was actually replacing another diaper backpack that I hated—Little Unicorn Marindale—that was similar in terms of the top zipper with a fold over flap that had a magnetic closure. I found it so fussy and fiddly. Just an extra step of opening or closing the bag, but it really drove me up the wall. I ended up going with the Azaria La Mère Petite over the FP diaper bag for that reason. 

    While I love how the FP bag looks, I would vote for the Lily Jade based on the simplicity of access and how much I still seethe just thinking about opening a bag with the zipper/flap combo :D.

    And yay for baby kicks!!
  • @cyanope No experience with either but I love the inside of the first and the outside of the second! I’m no help. Both are super cute. I think I’ll look for a similar style. I did over the shoulder bags last time but I’m definitely thinking backpack with this one. HANDS FREE
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @cyanope I obviously haven't used it yet but I also ordered the Freshly Picked bag! Hoping I'll like it, it's so pretty. I was between that one and the Azaria Le Mère that @pickle-chips recommended... honestly don't remember why I went with one over the other, my head is spinning from baby gear shopping lol.
  • @pickle-chips, I’ve never seen the La Mere, so thank you! It’s really nice. It reminds me of the Fawn Design bag, but looks bigger! Haha...I may have another one to consider now. The problem is that I like the look of the more sleek Freshly Picked bag, but I think I like the outside pockets on the Lily Jade. Newborn stage requires so much crap that I know I’ll appreciate those extra pockets!
    @emmylou78, I can’t do any style besides a backpack. I HAVE to have my hands free. It’s such a game changer! 
    @the_most_happy, have you gotten it yet?? I may need a review of it when it gets here! What color did you get??
  • @BourbonBiscuits I am absolutely going to try this. Thank you for the suggestion! 
  • @cyanope yay for baby kicks! That is such an exciting milestone.

    As for diaper bags, a friend just recommend this to me. FWIW, she is a newwwww mom, her little guy was born this morning, so she has no real world use of this bag quite yet. But it is a more cost friendly alternative that checks some of the boxes you mentioned.

  • @surrenderdorothy, awesome! Thank you so much! 
  • @cyanope it just arrived the other day! It’s beautiful for sure, thought I can’t really speak to its functionality yet lol. I got it in “Birch,” what color are you considering?

    @BourbonBiscuits omg, thank you for this info. Very eager to try it!
  • @the-most-happy, I'm considering the sage! Which is one of the reasons I'm leaning towards it. I feel like have a different color other than black/gray/camel would be fun! I love the color variety that FP offers. We shall see!
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