Babysitting Help — The Bump
3rd Trimester

Babysitting Help

Baby number 3 isn't due for 8 weeks but my husband and I have been struggling to figure out who is going to help watch our 2 girls when I go into labor with our 3rd. 

So our baby is due May 20th, everyone we can think of is still adhering to pretty strict covid safety measures and will only gather outside, clearly not gonna work for any extended period of time. On top of that my parents are planning a vacation to Florida from May1-15 and my in laws are planning a trip to Michigan from end of April to May 15. My sister lives out of state, and my 2 sister in laws have demanding jobs that don't allow unplanned time off. So basically my plan right now is to hope and pray that baby doesn't come early and stays in there til at least the 16th, and then hope everything is okay after both set of grandparents just visited 2 states with pretty high covid numbers.

My husband and I are struggling to think of any plans or anyone to watch our girls while their brother is being born. 

I'm half ranting, half looking to any advice support or suggestions. 

Thanks 😊 

Re: Babysitting Help

  • @LisaH811 have you asked any of the people that you mentioned? We are very covid cautious and haven’t seen any friends in a year, but i would happily make an exception if a friend was having a baby and had no childcare for their older kids. Plus would think that at least some of these people would be vaccinated by then

    I would also be really hurt if one of our siblings was in your position and didn’t think they could reach out because my job is too demanding (which it is, but it’s not like you are asking for childcare to take a vacation)

    Long story short, I think you just start asking people. I think they will be flattered and surprise you!
    lelkcotchichiphin
  • @bows22 yes I've asked multiple friends and they said they aren't willing to expand their bubble right now to take my kids or cant take off work. One of SILs is a surgeon so she can't call off work to take my kidos, the other is nanny for very busy family and wouldn't be able to call off or bring my kids with her bc she doesn't have enough space in her car. 

    We've always just had my kids go to their grandparents house but that's impossible bc both sets of grandparents are out of state. 

    I guess technically my due date is the 20th and both sets of grandparents will be back by the 16th, and I can ask (and hope) that they wear mask while with my girls after visiting high risk states (according to our governor.)
  • Loading the player...
  • Are the grandparents vaccinated? 
    DSS: March 2006
    DD: July 2017
    DS: February 2019
    BFP #3 TW ended in CP March 2020
    BFP #4 - TW ended in CP August 2020
    BFP #5 - due October 2021
  • @cait32  Vaccinated does not mean you can not be a carrier AND you can still get Covid.  Yes, I am fully vaccinated, but was warned and highly understand that it is not a 100% safeguard.  

    OP, yes, Michigan is on the rise.  I will not get too political, but the restrictions lossened a bit and the numbers skyrocketed.  I will not get more into that, at this time.  I will not even touch the subject of FL.  So, yes they are two Hotspot right now.  

    I am sorry that you are having this struggle.  Do any of your friends have babysitters that they would highly recommend that you could meet a few times prior to the birth?  Then at least your husband can be with you during L&D then at least try and juggle things afterward?  Ideal? Probably not, but an idea.  


  • @LisaH811 do your kids go to daycare where one of the younger teachers might babysit on the side? I am just trying to think what I would do if I had no options. I am sorry that no one is willing to help you out. It’s really a shame. 
  • @lisah811 have you discussed your lack of care with either set of grandparents?  Can either change the date of their trips?
  • LisaH811LisaH811 member
    edited March 2021
    @cait32 I'm thinking a babysitter might be my only choice, and just hope baby doesn't come in the middle of the night. I don't mean to sound so pessimistic. As of right now, our hospital policy is that if your support person/spouse leaves they are not able to return. I guess worse case scenario, I could have my husband for labor and delivery and then spend as few days as possible in new life/recovery.

    @bows22 I'm a stay at home mom, neither of my girls go to preschool and our Sunday school has been closed for over a year. Our church is planning a large group trip to help open and clean some of the summer camps for this year, which also takes away the majority of my babysitters for 1-2weeks. This is just literally the worst timing.  

    @holly321 my husband expressed his frustration to his parents I guess the response was "we didn't know you would want our help this time bc you haven't asked yet" this was probably 2 months ago when they booked the trip. They literally live 2miles away and my parents live 1.5hrs away. I guess it was wrong of me to assume they would help or that I would need to ask so far in advance. My parents response was we can just cross that bridge when we come to in. I kinda thought we were at that bridge now. 
  • @harpseal135 if they are going on vacation I doubt they are as concerned about catching it. Traveling elsewhere vs coming to stay with family who could quarantine prior doesn’t seem like something an overly Covid conscious person would do.

    @LisaH34 I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. I’d double down on asking either/both of your parents if they could rearrange their schedules to help you out. Perhaps if they understand it’s the difference between them changing their itinerary and your husband not being able to assist you in the hospital and meet his child they will understand. If that doesn’t work out then I would suggest finding a doula that could go with you to the hospital if you can’t find anyone to keep your kids for you.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • @harpseal135 yes, I'm well aware that being vaccinated doesn't make you full-proof, but much of the early data is indicating that vaccinated individuals are not spreading COVID, so I would feel very differently about having vaccinated grandparents who were out of state watching my kids than non-vaccinated. Totally different ball game.

    DSS: March 2006
    DD: July 2017
    DS: February 2019
    BFP #3 TW ended in CP March 2020
    BFP #4 - TW ended in CP August 2020
    BFP #5 - due October 2021
  • My dad and his mom are vaccinated. 

    I'm starting to research either a doula or midwife, I feel like I'm kinda late to the game to get one. But it would be better than nothing. 

    I told my in laws today im nervous for baby to come bc everyone is gone. They live closer so its much easier for them to watch the girls opposed to my parents who live 1.5hrs aways and the response was well see if you can get an exact date for when baby will arrive and you go into labor and we can try to rearrange. I couldn't even process that answer this is their TENTH grandchild what do you mean exact date? 
  • meggymemeggyme member
    edited March 2021
    @LisaH34 that answer is bonkers. As for finding a doula, check with your hospital or doctor’s office. A lot of hospitals have doula programs or could connect you to one. I had a doula for both of my deliveries and highly recommend it even if your husband is able to make it (in normal times obviously).
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • Update: my sister who lives in Alaska, offered to switch her vacation she was going to come down in June after we got settled with new baby to visit and meet her nephew.  Now she might come early and cover May 1st-16th, downside would be if I don't have the baby she won't be able to visit again until May or June 2022. Also she asked to me I could help her pay for the difference in the flight (I think that's reasonable) 

    Kinda good news bad news situation 
  • honestly @lisah811 if you're cool with the potential flight exposure, yeah it seems to be the best option. I'm glad she could do that for you. I also think helping may for change fees is reasonable too. 
    **tw**


    married 11.1.14

    ttc #1 since 5.18

    bfp 12.22.18 letrozole + progesterone

    d&e due to trisomy 13/hydrops at 15wks

    bfp 7.21.19 letrozole + IUI 

    little girl A born 3.26.20

  • @LisaH811 I wonder if you told your parents that this is your new plan, if they would be willing to “cross the bridge” now - it would suck if the baby doesn’t come early and your sister can’t meet him for a year but I’m glad you have an option. 
    chichiphin
  • @chichiphin our guest room is in the basement with a separate bathroom, besides that she will wear a mask and get tested after 5 days of being here. Shes also vaccinated. I trust her to wear a mask more than either sets of grandparents when I'm not around. 
    meggymelelkcotchichiphinwildrainbow
  • LisaH811 said:
    @chichiphin our guest room is in the basement with a separate bathroom, besides that she will wear a mask and get tested after 5 days of being here. Shes also vaccinated. I trust her to wear a mask more than either sets of grandparents when I'm not around. 
    Good thing she's already vaccinated.
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