PGAL 3/2

feelingjovani

This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth,  child loss, to name a few). Hopefully we can all lend support to each other through the  hormone filled craziness that is pregnancy!

Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning on this entire thread. 

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)?

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)?

4. When is your next appointment? 

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  

feelingjovani

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  12 weeks, 6 days and I'm pretty sure I'm feeling some faint fluttering so that's been fun

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? I'm still gagging like crazy but thankfully I haven't had too much nausea.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? I'm feeling better almost in the second trimester but I think after my NT scan I'll feel better

4. When is your next appointment? Friday I'm doing the NT scan and NIPT

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  none

marymh80

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  12w6d. @feelingjovani I think I've felt flutters too! But it could be gas. But if it makes me feel good, I'll take it! 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Mostly better. After a long weekend off work I'm feeling mostly better (one afternoon of intense nausea). My pelvis is getting more sore as I work this week though. 

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? My doppler is helping A LOT. I couldn't find the heartbeat Saturday, so that was a downer. but so far, she seems to be hanging out almost exactly where her brother was. Which is weird, since I have a giant cyst on that side too. 

4. When is your next appointment? Thursday for just a quick scan. 

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  I had a hard day Thursday when I dropped DH off for his hernia surgery. As I pulled away I realized it was the same entrance that we left from after my daughter was stillborn. I changed doctors after that to someone who delivers at another hospital, so hadn't been back there. 

I went to target to register to help me feel more secure, but they're doing it all online now. So I made that stupid decision of "I'll just check out what's on clearance" and bought like 9 NB and 0-3 outfits. lol 

I'm equal parts scared to get too much too soon but also eager to start preparing. I'm picking up a pretty huge lot of clothes from our buy nothing group this week too. 

emeraldcity1214

@feelingjovani Yay for movement! That’s so fun. I have only felt a flutter or two this week and it was when I was using my doppler. I’m ready for it to be consistent. 

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  11w5d; my next milestone is 14 weeks. Although, I’m not having the same complications as I had that pregnancy so I’m feeling pretty good. 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? I have had random waves of intense nausea, exhaustion (that could be form my baby not sleeping well too), and I can’t get warm and stay warm. 

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? Good today but that could change at any point. It really just pops up and makes me spiral. 

4. When is your next appointment? I go for an US this Thursday. My NT scan is next week and I got my blood work for my genetic screening done yesterday. 

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  My baby was playing with the baby monitor the other day and he broke a piece off and now it’s missing. 🙄 I’m so annoyed because now it won’t sit up like it’s suppose to. I have had this monitor for 6 years and they have discontinued it and no longer have replacement pieces. It isn’t like it affects its ability to function it’s just super annoying. Now DH sees this as an opening to install Ring cameras all throughout the house and I’m not onboard with that. I feel like I will have zero privacy and anyone with the ability to hack a system will have access to our house. Am I crazy for thinking this? I have heard stories of monitors on WiFi getting hacked and sickos looking at the children and eventually talking to them over the monitor. 

marymh80

@emeraldcity1214 I love hearing the swooshes of movement through the doppler. Science is freaking amazing! 

I'm torn on the monitors too. I like the convenience of something you can access from your phone if the day ever comes that we can go on dates again. But we went with an old school monitor with a screen part for safety reasons too. 

I feel like hacks are pretty rare, but I'm not sure if I'd step right up to something less secure yet. 

Centralmnmom

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  13w4d.  Almost to the second trimester!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Okay I guess.  Neausa is starting up again (serious eye roll to that) I had heart burn when I went to bed all weekend so I went to the chiropractor yesterday and last night it didn't happen.  Hoping that continues. I will be going every other week now.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? Sometimes I'm okay and then I just get really overwhelmed. I know we decided to put in two embryos, but at time I just don't know what we were thinking.  I know we can handle it in theory.  It's just going to he a big learning curve. Sometimes the daily bump reminder is a little anxiety inducing when I think I need to subtract 2 weeks from that and it 24 weeks or less until they are here and not 26 weeks

4. When is your next appointment? Dr appt with ultrasound on 3/22, but I have a private ultrasound scheduled for 3/13.  I scheduled this before I knew I was going to have monthly ultrasounds and I already told DD she was going to see the babies so I can't cancel and break her heart.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  I picked up the carseats from my SIL's cousin yesterday. Well I looked at them closer today and the one base had a bunch of dried spit up in the bottom.  So I had to scrub it out today.  Now I know we didn't pay much for these carseats, but I could never do that to somone.

Centralmnmom

@emeraldcity1214 I love using my doppler.  Little punks on Sunday would only let me hear them for a half second at a time.

emeraldcity1214

@Centralmnmom Yeah, sometimes I have to chase the baby around to get a good angle because apparently the baby is rolling and moving out of the way of it. I have never had babies that like dopplers or US. 

feelingjovani

@marymh80 yay for registering!  I'm with you on wanting to prepare but feeling scared.  I got my first baby thing this weekend...a Halo bassinet.  

@emeraldcity1214 I've been tempted to get ring cameras inside even though our monitor works fine.  But yeah, the potential to hack makes me very nervous.

Centralmnmom

@emeraldcity1214 I'm just have the old school sound baby monitor.  I've thought a outt getting cameras this time around, but haven't decided yet.

@marymh80 I have a few registries started. With this being the second pregnancy I don't plan on giving the info out.  Just doing for completion coupons and welcome boxes 😉

emeraldcity1214

@Centralmnmom I like having a monitor for lots of reasons. My kids do quiet time in their room and I can peek in on them and have them clean their room before coming out. I also send them to timeout in their rooms when they are having meltdowns. It’s nice to peek in and see that they are destroying something while they are angry. Plus I like seeing if the baby is actually sitting up crying in the crib or laying down, crying in his sleep. Plus I like to scroll through at night to just make sure they are ok. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe I’m a helicopter mom. 

emeraldcity1214

Am I the only one that checks for a HB before going to an appointment? Especially an US. The idea of being caught off guard scares me so much and I can go in without all the anxiety. I have one tomorrow and I plan to check the HB tonight and tomorrow just to ease my anxiety. 

emeraldduchess

@Centralmnmom ugh to having to scrub spitup from the carseat base. Your own kid's vomit is one thing but someone else's? Blergh! LOL to calling your babies little punks. I've referred to mine as the little a**kicker because I am always so tired!

@emeraldcity1214 I'm glad you're feeling pretty good leading up to your next milestone. 💚 I don't blame you for using the doppler before an US. Being caught off guard is a big fear of mine, too. 

@marymh80 I hope your H is recovering well from his surgery! I'm jealous that your local Target has a good baby section. Mine's baby section is an absolute mess and there are almost zero gender neutral clothes. 

@feelingjovani yay for feeling flutters! That is so cool.

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  12 weeks, 2 days. Almost in second tri! 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Fatigue is still strong. I've been going to bed around 9-9:30 every night and it's still a struggle to wake up. I thought I turned the corner with the food aversion, but that's gotten worse in the last two days. Today was the first time I woke up nauseous, so that was new. Usually the nausea doesn't hit until the afternoon. 

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? Ok. I keep having dreams where I wake up and I am bleeding. I had my intake appointment today and they didn't do an US which was disappointing. The only did bloodwork, urine test, and Q&A with a nurse. I'd feel a lot better if I got to see this little one. 

4. When is your next appointment? I had my intake appointment today and I liked the people at the OB's office so far. I have my NT scan on Friday morning, and I meet my midwife on the 16th. I'm getting nervous about the NT scan. Part of me is mad that I don't really have time to process all the info about what they're screening for, but at the same time I'm glad I won't have too much time to get worked up about it. 

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I'm having a lot of trouble accepting how my body is changing and I have no control over it. I have a history of body image issues and eating disorders, so it's been really hard to watch my body change and feel my clothes get tighter. 

emeraldcity1214

@emeraldduchess I hope you stop having those dreams. That sounds awful! I had body image issues growing up and into my early adulthood. Likely because I was obsessed with being fit and thin for ballet. I always dreamed of becoming a professional ballerina. Then it just snowballed from there. Honestly, making sure you make good healthy eating choices and get some walks in or light cardio/weights will likely help with the issues associated with your clothes filling out. It also will do nothing but benefit the baby and make you PP recover a lot easier. You will likely bounce back faster if you stay active and have a healthier diet too. I have to resist the temptation to “eat for two” and giving in to all my cravings. I literally crave nothing but cake and other sugary foods. I even made a Pinterest board of all the things I want to eat. 🤦🏻‍♀️ If I gave into that I would have already gained 10lbs this pregnancy. 

Centralmnmom

@emeraldcity1214 I don't think your a helicopter parent.  They would be nice to have we just didn't invest in them with our first.

@emeraldduchess I thought little punks was better than little parasites since they are literally leaching all my energy.  They were actually super cooperative this morning when I listened quick with DD.

emeraldduchess

@emeraldcity1214 I work out regularly, but teaching remotely during Covid and the IVF drugs did cause some weight gain that I was struggling with to begin with. I plan on continuing to work out as much as is safe for as long as I can. It doesn't help that my closest friend does those fitness competitions, so next to her I always feel self-conscious.   

emeraldcity1214

@emeraldduchess Just focus on the beautiful baby you’re growing. You can get the weight off afterwards. Especially if you’re staying active during your pregnancy. I also got turned onto Trim Healthy Mama and I have still been sticking to that eating plan. I lost 16 lbs prior to getting pregnant. I’m not doing it to lose now obviously but I’m hoping it will help me only gain 20 lbs. 

emeraldcity1214

I took my last progesterone suppository last night. Woohoo!!! I am so glad to be done with that. 

Centralmnmom

As I sit here in the room that I have avoided the past 3 years I can't believe it's actually happening. The nursery is our 3rd bedroom.  It's the room kiddie corner to our and I can see straight into it when I lay in bed.  It's been the room that I just dumped stuff in, but tried to spend as little time as possible.  The room is still a disaster and will be for a while and part of me will be sad I will actually have to take things to the basement right away, but I find myself coming in here to sit in the rocking chair and think.  Infertility and loss really suck.

feelingjovani

@emeraldcity1214 yay!  I was so relived to stop them.  They just feel so gross to me.

marymh80

@emeraldcity1214 @feelingjovani I just had to go back on them because my levels are nowhere near what they should be. So bitter!! 

emeraldcity1214

@marymh80 ugh, I’m sorry. That sucks. They are the most disgusting things ever. I’m just glad I only had to take them once a day at night. I have heard of women needed them twice a day. My issue was needing to wake in the middle of the night with my kids/baby and then all of it just leaking out and being a mess all over me. 🤢 I always made DH get up with all the kids until at least 1 so it would have plenty of time to absorb. 

feelingjovani

@marymh80 that's the worst, I'm sorry.  Did they say how long you would continue them?

marymh80

@emeraldcity1214 I've basically just accepted the fact I'll be living in panty liners for the unforeseen future. 

@feelingjovani the protocol I'm on, the doctor tests my level every other week. There's 4 "zones." Zone 1 is shots and suppositories, Zone 2 is just shots, Zone 3 is just suppositories, and Zone 4 is no support needed. 

I found an email from my pregnancy with DS where I asked about the protocol toward the end, and I was in zone 1 up until 37 weeks, where I stopped all support. So possibly 24 more weeks? 

It stinks, but I also lost our older daughter around 20 weeks when I was with my old OB and they told me there was no reason to keep taking the progesterone, and I've regretted it ever since when I learned more about the doctors that prescribe it throughout based on what the actual levels are. 

feelingjovani

@marymh80 that's so tough! I didn't realize you were doing both the shots and suppositories, I thought you just had shots.  That sounds frustrating to deal with but glad you have the support to have your OB check throughout, especially with prior losses.