August 2021 Moms

PGAL 2/14

This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth, child loss, to name a few). Hopefully we can all lend support to each other through the hormone filled ride that is pregnancy!

Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning on this entire thread. 

How far along are you? Any milestones?  

How are you feeling (physically)?

How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)?

When is your next appointment? 

Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

Re: PGAL 2/14

  • How far along are you? Any milestones?  12+1 one still to go....

    How are you feeling (physically)? Still nauseous and tired.

    How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? After not being able to find the heartbeat with my doppler for almost a week, better since I found it yesterday. Hopefully DW can hear it one of these days.

    When is your next appointment? Feb 25

    Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I really want the appointment to be here already, but DS b-day is the 24th and I'm not ready for him to be 2. Lol


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - YeTq
  • @Kenneylynn3 happy upcoming bday for DS! my DS turns 2 in march and I know what you mean :/
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  • @Kenneylynn3 I am glad you were able to find the heartbeat. Have you tried again since or do you try to ration yourself? I'm still contemplating Doppler ownership, but I think I would obsess.

    How far along are you? Any milestones? 12w5d. Not at this point. 

    How are you feeling (physically)? Still nauseous, tired and can now add constant heartburn to the list. 

    How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? Mostly OK? We had a private ultrasound on Saturday and it was such a relief to see baby stretching and waving and to hear the heartbeat. Leading up to the u/s I was really nervous about a mmc. I sort of feel like I'm out of the woods, but also not really? I feel like I want to be happy and excited and start telling more people, that there is no reason to suggest I will not get to take this baby home, but then my brain comes up with all kinds of worst case scenarios.

    When is your next appointment? Not until March 5.

    Also, would people prefer this check-in be monthly? And we can just chat in the same space over the course of the month? Also, if anyone has suggestions about the check-in questions or things they would rather see/not see please feel free to share! I just want to make sure this feels like a safe, inviting space if and when you need support. 

  • How far along are you? Any milestones?  14+2 - all milestones passed

    How are you feeling (physically)? Ehh. Some days I feel great, some days I feel terrible. I was actively gagging while teaching this morning so that was awesome.

    How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? Not great. I have my 14 week appt tomorrow and I'm so nervous for it. Just constantly on edge now.

    When is your next appointment? Tomorrow morning, first thing! 

    Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I had a really down day yesterday realizing that the baby we lost should be a newborn right now. I don't remember her due date (which makes me feel even shittier) but I woke up yesterday just feeling this overwhelming sense that she should be with us. 

  • How far along are you? Any milestones?  13+5, moving along! past milestones

    How are you feeling (physically)? rough. i didn't really have bad morning sickness, but yesterday spent the evening puking randomly. i think i ate too many baby carrots of all things lol they gave me bad stomach pain and baby brought them right back up. 

    How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? awful but trying to keep my head up. i had the NT ultrasound last week at exactly 13 weeks and baby girl looks PERFECT, i saw her tiny butterfly looking brain and cute little heart and her spine and everything and my heart was so full, but i got some bad news: my uterine fibroids have grown back after a myomectomy to have them removed this summer. they grew out of control with my last pregnancy in the first tri and were diagnosed with the ultrasound that discovered my mmc so i have pretty bad trauma about the whole thing. i felt like the room was spinning when i heard the "you have some fibroids, did they tell you that?" AGAIN. the whole fibroid saga has just been a nightmare, and i assume they contributed to my mmc last time (they were giant, at least 2-3x bigger than the ones i have now)

    anyway it was just horrible to have doctor with a concerned vibe with an ultrasound wand on my belly again. 2020 was a mess of ultrasounds, and d&c, and MRIs, and multiple surgeries, grief, and it brought it all back :( 

    my doctor didn't seem super concerned, because baby girl looked so good, hr 158 and measuring right on time. she said "your kiddo will find a way to make your body accommodate her" and tbh they run in my family and i talked to my cousin who had twins with fibroids and she gave me a lot of reassurance. i'm just sad. i want so badly to relax but this brought all the panic back. 

    When is your next appointmentRants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) 3/1 is my routine OB exam, then we'll schedule the anatomy ultrasound. i'm gonna be more high risk now beyond my age and miscarriage history so i'm expecting more appointments as well sigh 

  • How far along are you? Any milestones?  15+6 

    How are you feeling (physically)?

    Pretty good! I've got a weird cramp in my side for 4 days that I'm ignoring. My urine had some white cells in it last week so it went for further testing. Given I haven't heard back, I assume its not a UTI or anything. Doc said it was likely just discharge. I'm definitely in the 2nd tri feel good phase.

    How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)?

    Bah, after saying the first tri went quickly, the past week has been dragging. I'm coming up on some milestones in the next 2 weeks and that's difficult. I also noticed some dry colostrum around my nipples the other day which tail spinned me. I had some blockages after my loss.

    On the other hand, I keep seeing young babies at work who would be about the age of my loss and all I feel is love for them and no sadness seeing babies. That has been common for me trough all of this. Seeing happy babies and kids makes my heart warm.

    When is your next appointment? 

    Another month for AS

    Rants/raves/whatever 

    I think a monthly thread would be fine. The check-ins kinda overwhelm me with everyone's posts at once, then I'm left a little lonely the rest of the week.

    @kennylynn3 glad you're enjoying the dopler!

    @pickle-chips so glad you got some relief from the US!

    @cocoliso13 I totally get where you're coming from, being right back where you were this summer. But it sounds like you are in a much better position this time around.

    @bourbonbuiscuits I obsessed about my loss due date and the days before and after were pretty rough. I feel like its the kind of thing you will forget in a few years then when you're like 60 you regress and fall apart again, totally out of the blue. Just be kind with yourself on those days.

  • @pickle-chips we tried again on Tuesday and DW heard it. I tried every few days or so, now not so much.
    @cocoliso13 that would have put me in a tailspin. Sorry to hear your fibroids are back, but glad the Dr is optimistic and your little girl looks great! 
    @BourbonBiscuits Some days it hits me like a freight train like yesterday I was thinking about how I'll be 29 when this baby is born and my first loss would be 10 this year since I got pregnant at 19. I have named all my babies and think about them often and wonder what it would be like if they were here. I also have struggled with doing bump pics this time around because I don't want to put baby #2 on the sign, since this is my sixth pregnancy. 

    I am fine with a monthly check-in. I can really only find time to get on the bump during the weekends anyways.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - YeTq
  • I've started telling my coworkers and some more friends. Every time I tell someone I go through a brief moment of panic of what if the AS shows something horrible or no hb. I feel like I might be feeling flutters though so I'm sure everything is okay. I'm 17+5 now and my milestones was 17+2 so I'm sure that has something to do with my thoughts. 
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