Migration?

theblondebump

Now that most of us are in the third trimester and we acknowledge we technically could see members of our group give birth at any point now, is anyone ready to move to Facebook? (Or to an alternative method of communication) 

aisukurimsarang

I am the epitome of anti Facebook, but I'm open to Slack or similar. 

aisukurimsarang

And yes, it's probably time to talk about migrating or at least making a private group. 

kvh22

Let's do it! My last BMB had us post a pic with our bump, our TB name written on a piece of paper, and a random household item (like a form, comb/brush, whatever) for screening purposes - in the new platform with the request to be admitted. There were probably 60-70 women in my last group and 4 admin who organized it. Idk if anyone cares to be an admin for whatever platform we go with. Should we do a poll or have some discussion? What are the alternatives to FB we're considering (although I do prefer FB, personally).

aisukurimsarang

I know Reddit, Slack, Teams, and Discord off the top of my head.

Teams would be my last choice, Discord or Slack probably my first.

@kvh22, we did the same thing...Since we were January 2020, we did a selfie with us holding a Christmas item, a sign with your username on your bump, and your due date. 

BuckeyeNut05

I am with @aisukurimsarang. I HATE FB and don’t trust putting anything personal there at all.  I am in the “please go for slack or a private BMB” camp. 

forevertired

I prefer fb because I’m already on it and I’m way more active in something I don’t specifically have to open to check in. (I’m still active in DS’ bmb on fb and he’s 4) I’m open to other alternatives though, and I know my activity here hasn’t been super involved so I may not even be included which I understand. 

juliebird6

I’m open to migrating elsewhere but have a strong preference for Facebook. The likelihood of me checking something like slack, teams or Reddit is about zero.

aguamala

I second the pro facebook opinions. I already use FB and feel like if I open another social media account I will just have too much to check: the bump, facebook, instagram, gmail, texts, whatsapp, etc...  Then again I want to keep an open space for all the ladies in the group. 

kvh22

Can someone explain how we would use something like Slack? Is it similar to FB with posts you can comment on or just ongoing chat? I have access to Slack at work but only ever use it for chat. I feel like we would miss out on something by not having a post+comment functionality but maybe slack has that and I just haven't used it? In my last BMB we also eventually created messenger threads which are just chat and super fun but that really took off after the babies were born. The option for both would be great IMO. I use Teams for work and find it atrocious. My pure hatred of it plus my concern that I would end up in the wrong thread and post something meant for the BMB on a work something or other makes Teams a hard "no" for me. I still have that fear for slack but I don't use slack much for work and don't have it on my phone so I just wont get it on my phone for work lol.

aisukurimsarang

This is what my Slack group looks like:
(Note - My Bump name was FyreFlyeRush before The Knot deleted the account. I've also blocked out all personal names) 

Home Page

Threads (Updates)

A post example 

rexnie

Strong preference for Facebook over here just for ease of use/participation purposes.  

Several of us from my 2018 BMB ended up there, and the people who weren’t comfortable joining with their “real” profiles created fake ones with stock images. 

bblair24

Another vote for migrating, and another weirdo with an FB preference. My J14 and D16 bmbs are active there and I’m afraid I’d ignore another platform. 🙈

mamabee1113

I’m pro-Facebook for basically every reason already stated. I’ve never even heard of most of these other platforms though, so I have zero opinion on them.
My BMB with DS migrated only about 35 to start with and it was tough to keep up, so these big groups of 50+ some of you mention give me social anxiety lol 

kadeephd

I also vote for Facebook just because I already use it for my other BMB.  I would be willing to try another platform but I doubt I would be as active.

juliebird6

@rexnie I really do not like the idea of someone creating a “stock” account just to join us. The whole point of moving is to share more of who you/your kids are so I would be very, very against someone creating basically an alias account.

runsoncoffee

I would also be pro fb. I personally am not interested in adding another platform, but respect whatever decision is made! 
@juliebird6 I agree with you on that.

bblair24

My July group started with probably 60 or 70 and over the years (8 years now! 😯) we are down to the 40s due to various conflicts. My December group was never as big. 

I really love being fb friends with all of those ladies, too. Makes it so much more real and being able to keep up with them is just the best!

ETA not saying this wouldn’t be the case on other platforms - I’m just not familiar with those. Just my two cents about Facebook! 

theblondebump

I also would vote for Facebook, since I already use it regularly and would probably never use something like Reddit. But I'd go with whatever the majority wants. 

Maybe we could do a Facebook group for those who are interested, since it sounds like there's a lot of us who prefer Facebook. And then we can do a private bump group for anyone who doesn't want to be on Facebook? I don't know the best way to go... I definitely don't want to leave anyone out, but it sounds like a lot of us would be most active on Facebook and that's kind of the point of migrating. 

I've started to type responses to some threads lately and then remember that these are technically public that any family member, etc. could come across and then it's delete delete delete haha. The closer we are to baby arriving, the more I'd prefer to share in a more private setting. 

rexnie

juliebird6 said:

@rexnie I really do not like the idea of someone creating a “stock” account just to join us. The whole point of moving is to share more of who you/your kids are so I would be very, very against someone creating basically an alias account.

I'm personally really glad the group was open to it! The woman who still participates with a mock profile shares pics and personal details of her and her kids in the group, has met another group member in person, etc... she just doesn't want to be publicly identified by a profile picture or link her 600 closest friends to a profile, you know?

goldpolkadot

Definitely up for migrating & I’d throw my vote in for FB for all reasons mentioned (personally use it the most being the top reason haha)

pelorunningmama

I’m up for migrating as well and have a strong preference for fb. My other bump groups are there so I use it mainly for that. Peloton groups and my kids’ school
groups.  I 100% know I would not use another app... I struggle with even the bump! But also am totally ok with what the group decides if fb isn’t the ultimate choice.  

bluey101321

I’m really excited by the idea of migrating.. it took me forever to figure this app/site out and still have trouble all the time. TB app can be a pain and between my kiddos distance learning and hubby working from home, there’s scarce amounts of time for me to get the computer. I, too, prefer FB as I’m active regularly there and use it the most but definitely wouldn’t want to leave anyone out either. I’d go with the majority as well but hoping wherever that is, it’s easier than here and opens things up to be more personal while having privacy as well. 

aisukurimsarang

I quit FB over privacy concerns long ago. It ended up being those concerns were valid. But, I also know how rare it is for people not to have FB accts. I've been unable to complete job applications because I left that space blank and it won't proceed. I even had one interviewer not believe me when I said I don't have a social media account. 😂

While I won't be following, I have no issues with the group migrating to FB, and will post updates to Zoe's entry into the world here for anyone who checks it. 

bbrahmbhatt

I'm not partial to any particular platform. I have a fb account, but I rarely check it because for me it's mostly people from HS wanting me to buy their latest pyramid scheme or something. However, if the majority migrates there, I would participate. 

I agree with @theblondebump, maybe we could do both a fb group and a private BMB? That way whoever wants to participate wherever they're most comfortable can. I could see myself potentially participating in both. 

kvh22

Both FB and a private group on TB works for me. I think there's a good number of people who wouldn't move to a random new non-FB platform (or at least use it very much) and my personal opinion is that it's the best at creating a long lasting close-knit group. I'm insanely close with my group from DD2 on FB (daily/weekly posts but we eventually mostly moved to messenger). There was a bit of drama after about a year with my group with DD1 and my group with DD2 was so much more active that I'm a lot less involved in DD1's group than I used to be but still jump in occasionally and our kids are 3.5yo. That definitely wouldn't be the case if we were on TB, slack, etc. Having lived and worked in the Bay Area, I know a lot of ppl who work at Facebook. The privacy concerns are all about your comfort level so I completely understand if someone doesn't want to join a FB group. I would definitely try to check in on both for a while but I know that I won't keep up with a private group on TB for years like I have with my BMBs on FB. The moms in DD2's BMB have literally helped me pick much of our kitchen reno design, helped me through the home buying process (about a dozen of us have moved or taken on big renos and talked through it), and been there for each other through the craziness that has been this past year even though it started when our kids were 7 months old - well past when I think a private group on TB would likely stay active IMO. So I'm not trying to be exclusionary in my preference for that, I just really hope for a long-lasting group because I've seen what it can be and it's amazing to have.

bbrahmbhatt

@kvh22 that would be a great experience, especially for me as a FTM without very many mom friends in my circle here. Like I said, I plan to participate wherever the majority wants to go. 

theblondebump

Okay, so sounds like a Facebook group and a private bump group works! 

I'm happy to be a "admin" to help organize, any other volunteers? I know how to set up a Facebook group, no idea how to set up a private bump board.

kvh22

My last group migrated to private and then went to the FB group from there. That seemed to work well so we can share more info on the FB group for those who want to from that. We also had a voting system and I think needed 5 votes (love it's) on a person to let them from the broad group to the private group (which would automatically make you eligible for the FB group as long as you posted a picture in the FB group within a week with your bump name, a household item, due date, and make sure your bump was in the shot. Idk if we feel like that's overkill but randoms came out of the woodwork who had been reading but not participating or only said something once or twice and then asked to be part of the private group/FB group migration so some sort of system where the admins don't have all the power might be nice. But for my first, I just got a private message from someone who created the FB group so it was a lot less formal. There just have been catfishes who made it into groups before with a less stringent process. Also, I know that I was intermittently absent here so I don't need to be an admin. Don't want to take over, just sharing the benefit of my experience from how it's worked for my other BMBs.

theblondebump

Yes, by all means, someone who has done this process before should feel more than welcome to take the lead! I'm just here to help in any way! If someone wants to create the private bump group and then we can go from there, that sounds good to me. And I agree with having multiple checks in place to avoid randos

juliebird6

^agree that we should have some sort of "approval" system worked out and not just let in every single person who suddenly says they are due in April. It should be handles we recognize from people who are regular contributors. My other BMBs have done similar "love it" approaches and then gone straight to FB with the screener there (submit a picture, some sort of unique word/item so we can eliminate as much stranger danger as possible).

I'm missing something about the private bump board idea though. I don't mind if we go that route first before another migration to FB, but even in a private board on the bump, I don't think I'd be comfortable revealing much more identifying information that what I already share here. I wouldn't post my face, pictures of my kids, likely not any sort of birth story or anything about this baby. Would others? I know a lot of our group doesn't really participate in HDBD - would you if we have a private group here? Or what is the real benefit of creating another spot here, other than for the people who don't want to join FB? Not trying to be difficult, just trying to understand the goal. 

bluey101321

@kvh22 I think the more ways to screen the better and like your ideas. You just never know anymore and some people are bona fide professional at it. I’d rather we be overly careful than let a catfish in that later makes us all feel exposed and uncomfortable in the group. 

@theblondebump I’m clueless about the private bump group set up, but googled it. Lol. Popped right up. Someone needs to make it and then they’re the “owner of the group” according to the rules, they share the name and will accept or deny requests into it and then the rest can be done from there it looks like. 

bluey101321

@juliebird6 I think the private bump group idea is to not only have a little bit more sensors of a space for those that don’t want to go to FB but want to share more than they do here and also allows another screening step process to get to FB with hopefully no stranger danger. Randoms on the internet can’t view private groups they haven’t been accepted into. I just tried clicking on one of the private groups to be sure and it doesn’t allow you to view anything before you’ve joined the group which requires approval from the person that made it from my understanding. 

aisukurimsarang

@juliebird6 My Jan 2020 board went private around this point, then migrated to Slack. So, it's just like a stopping point. It also allows those of us can't be paid enough to use FB at least still participating in the birth part of our journey. 

eahayes

Big vote for facebook- my other BMB is on there and it's so much easier to check since I'm already active on there. Like others have said, I probably won't check another type of forum but also understand if that's the way the group wants to go! 

bbrahmbhatt

Agree with the extra security precautions; the internet can be a really weird place and I'd like to keep out as much of the weirdness as possible. 

aguamala

I am ready to migrate! Would love to see someone/some people (with prior experience) step up and start the group and instruct us how to join since the migration process with the screening/identity verification seems a little complicated. 

bblair24

I am an admin for my July 14 FB group, but wasn’t at the very beginning. So I can’t remember exactly how we got things going. I think we messaged (through TB) the determined admin to tell her our FB name. Then she told us her name and sent us friend requests. Maybe because the FB group was private we had to be friends with someone in order to join it. That was in 2014 so it’s all very hazy by now. 😂 I’m happy to help if I can though! 

I think we also had a screening process for being allowed in the fb group. Lots of rando lurkers wanted in that had never once commented on the boards. Nope. 

kvh22

So first step should be creating TB private group, right? Maybe we can let that shake out for about a week and then start a FB group so that it's not too overwhelming all at once? We just need someone to create the private group and then we can start a thread for Migration to Private Group Requests? Everyone can post with a gif, "me," "I'd like to join," etc. and people can "love it" if they recognize them enough to have them join? Not a popularity contest - just "do you think this person participated enough to not be a creeper." There aren't a ton of us so do we think 5 "love its" is a good minimum? And if someone is on the fence, ppl can chat in there about whether they'd let them in? Not trying to take over but I think that's the best next step and it'll be nice to be off of the public forum ASAP since we're less than 2 months out of due dates.

juliebird6

@kvh22 I agree with your outline! Just for reference for whoever starts the private group, with 5 love it's, is that an automatic "accept" into the private group?

kvh22

@juliebird6 I think we should agree on a number but then, yes, once getting that, the way my group did it, it was essentially automatic. And then the extra screening happened to try to make sure everyone was a real person with a picture for the FB group.