Weekly Randoms 2/8

krash_

Aerialmrs

So, I had a particularly emotionally draining therapy meeting last week, and now I'm not looking forward to my next one tomorrow. Does anyone else struggle with finding joy or fun? Like, what do you do in order to make things enjoyable and not just chores, especially things that should be fun, like playing with your kid. Does that make sense? How do you self-care and what kind of a difference does it make to you?

(Apparently I suck at this)

gutsysneakers

I suck at this too. I loathe pretend play. I am so happy that my 4 and 6 yr old will play together and they pretend Harry Potter adventures all the time. I am not creative. Instead (to compensate), I try and do things that I know I’m better at - baking or cooking together, mommy and me dates to Sbux, coloring together, etc. I don’t do well with pretend play with kids but I think I’m also in the minority where I don’t think it’s the parent’s job to pretend play but encourage and create an atmosphere for it. 

Maybe find something you like doing and have them participate in small ways? Listen, this year has been a shit show. Give yourself some grace. I don’t find any joy in virtual schooling, working, etc. right now. I honestly feel like it’s Groundhog Day. Just know that you’re not alone. 

Aerialmrs

@Jcrewgirl85 Thanks for this. My therapist was asking me what I do for fun, and I'm like, excuse me, fun? There is no fun here due to covid. I'm an introvert who has had zero time by myself since like March 10th. I think being alive is an accomplishment.

runningonindie

@Aerialmrs if it’s any consolation I feel largely the same way. I’m the opposite... I’m an extroverted social butterfly. My version of fun is brunch dates with girlfriends, shopping and lunch at the mall, a Broadway show, eating out, parties, events.... I have been so depressed that I can’t through my daughter a birthday party and being stuck with only my immediate family and not really having any of my friends or fun events has been soul sucking to say the least. It’s really been challenging for me. 

marymh80

@Aerialmrs I had a similar interaction with a therapist once when she wanted to do a mindfulness exercise with me and asked what my favorite food was. I found out I had celiac in my 30s, and since then, I don't really enjoy food. I legit don't have a "favorite" (I also don't have a favorite color. I think I just don't see the value in that sort of thing). 

Especially in COVID I think it's hard to define what's "fun"! I'd probably answer a long uninterrupted nap. Or enough time alone in the house that I can move beyond getting a bunch of shit done before our toddler comes back and gets into things and into the even *slight* possibility of doing something "fun." But the chances of that actually happening are so slim...why even bother imaging it? 

I enjoyed reading last year, but when I had COVID I couldn't pay attention enough to read when I was in isolation (the perfect time to read) so I don't even enjoy that anymore. 

whatabout2ndbreakfast

@runningonindie yesss. I find it very draining to be so isolated and to lose all those things we used to be able to do kid wise like museums, indoor playgrounds, library story time. And then also losing in person adult time like just going to the bar to be around people and people watch. 

I don’t feel like I’ve been having much fun lately at all, it’s more like one task after another. 

runningonindie

@whatabout2ndbreakfast yep I’m so with you. I want to set up playdates where moms and I chat while our kids socialize. I want to go to a wedding, be on a dance floor. Because of my personality we have been doing outdoor dining (and the very very occasional indoor dining experience) the whole time that restaurants have been open..... but I miss going out to eat with other couples. We do plenty but it’s always just us. Every beach day this summer..... just me, DH, and DD. Every restaurant experience...... just us...... we’d love to plan a little travel but DD won’t keep a mask on so we can’t fly.... I genuinely feel trapped. 

marymh80

The one thing we had during most of the pandemic (until I caught COVID in December) was happy hours in our cul de sac most Fridays. We'd light a fire pit and each couple would sit at the end of their driveways and we'd get to socialize with other adults. It's been so cold and/or people have been sick so we haven't done it in over a month. I'm SO introverted and even I miss that! 

cassafrass123

I’m definitely in the boat of not having anything I can think of as fun since covid started. I’m also an introvert and having everyone home all the time that I’m home is draining. The constant vigilance at work is exhausting. Watching people die over and over and there’s really nothing I can do is numbing. I sometimes feel like an empty cup...but most days more like a robot. I have a purpose and that’s the only thing keeping me going. The only time I feel much of anything it seems like is when I exercise- which has been tough in the first trimester.

ladylynn222

Guys! We found out the sex of baby 😍 I got the results back for our blood test and we’re having.... a BOY! FI is having major gender disappointment. Hopefully he’ll get over it soon 🙄 I wanted a girl but I’m excited to have another little boy! 

nasalot188

@ladylynn222 congratulations!! I have 2 boys and it's a lot of fun  

marymh80

@ladylynn222 Congrats!!! 

I'm torn on whether I want another boy (because I know what to expect) or a girl.

runningonindie

Congrats @ladylynn222!!! 

Aerialmrs

Thanks for the comments about fun and the disappointing pandemic days. I read 2 separate articles the other day about how solo trips to Target are not self care, and it really hit home. Legit the only times I spend alone are my weekly grocery shopping trips and my 10 minute commute to work. It's not enough and it doesn't count as self care. 

babybelugaco

@Aerialmrs I love my solo target trips though....lol 
I don't really do anything for myself other than those 

krash_

I guess we need to start the sex thread!   

As far as trying to find something fun in pandemic land, the Peloton and the community have really been so much fun. It sucks that I haven't felt good enough to get on it and when I have it seems so difficult. I'm really hoping second tri feels a little bit more like normal. 

My other BMB has also been a bright spot for the last year and the majority of my social interaction. 

I have also gotten back into reading and have really enjoyed the last few books I have read. I joined Kate Bryan (smallthingsblog) and her sister Lauren Bown's book club on FB and it has been so nice to have a good book just picked out for me.

Aerialmrs

Talk me off the ledge. The past few days I've just started to feel huge. I've already gained like 8 pounds maybe, at 8.5 weeks. My uterus feels large and in the way. Twins are all around me, I keep reading about them, and a customer just came into my work with her twin newborns. I'm being silly, right? This is most likely still just one baby, right? I'll know Friday regardless, but I can't get the thought out of my brain now!!

whatabout2ndbreakfast

@Aerialmrs I can’t talk you down because when I found out I was pregnant I immediately got two pimples and convinced myself I was having twins 😂

runningonindie

@Aerialmrs about a week before I found out I was pregnant my sister-in-law sent me a text saying that she cracked an egg open and it had two yolks and then she asked if I was having twins… So naturally the minute I found out I was terrified LOL but I’ve already had an ultrasound and haven’t heard anything about twins so… Feeling pretty strong over here 

feelingjovani

@Aerialmrs have you had an ultrasound yet?  I'd say if you have then it's unlikely!  But man those signs can mess with a pregnant lady's head.   

chewie5990

@Aerialmrs twins run in DH's family so I'm always terrified! For DS1 during my first u/s the tech was like oh hey there are actually 3 fertilized eggs in here but only one baby..which just the potential of having multiples freaked me out enough! 

Aerialmrs

@feelingjovani No appointment at all yet, but we have an u/s scheduled this Friday, so at least I don't have to stew over this for a long time?

emeraldcity1214

@aerialmrs You should go compare your symptoms to the lady on the first tri board. 🤣 Jk, seriously that lady is crazy! 

chewie5990

I finally got an appointment to get my COVID vaccine for this Friday! I almost cried from relief!!!!! I had another 3 kids in my class test positive earlier this week and I'm just so over feeling so anxious every second I'm at work. I feel like I can actually breath easy(well..easier) for the first time since August. 

sleepydaze

@Aerialmrs thank you for the comment about solo (chore) shopping trips not counting as self-care! I have been relying on mine as a chance to finally get some alone time, but you're right, they're not actually taking care of myself. Were the articles online, and if so, could you share the link?
Also, I have definitely gained more weight and am showing earlier this first trimester than my first in my other 2 pregnancies. But at the same time I've lost weight in random areas (ex below my bust)... maybe it's being redistributed?

williams-jen

@Aerialmrs up until my ultrasound last Friday I was convinced it was twins - it isn’t!

emeraldcity1214

I found the HB!!! I’m 8w6d!!! I’m so relieved to have already found it. I have tried 2 times already and didn’t find it either time. 

Aerialmrs

@sleepydaze They were online, I can't remember where, 2 different people had just shared them on facebook. But I'm pretty sure one of them was on scarymommy!

optimisticoctopus

I have been so busy/feeling crappy this week and have hardly felt like I have time to pop in here but! I’m so excited! We got a little bit of snow today (just enough that it would’ve messed with morning commutes), so my district has a virtual day. I see a lot of virtual kids on Thursdays anyway, so they are actually coming to sessions which is great. And since I haven’t been in the building since Tuesday and we have Friday/Monday off - DH and I get to meet our new nephew on Monday! We are a first time aunt/uncle, so I’m psyched. And it’ll be nice that DH gets to practice holding a new baby before September lol. 

Centralmnmom

@emeraldcity1214 best feeling to find that heartbeat!

feelingjovani

My gag reflex has gotten worse with each subsequent pregnancy I’ve had but this one is by far the worst. I gagged so much that I threw up while picking up dog poop today. 🤢

emeraldcity1214

@feelingjovani I did the same a few weeks ago. Luckily it’s usually too cold to actually smell the poop but that day it was in the 40’s and it was so nasty. 

feelingjovani

@emeraldcity1214 I couldn’t even smell it thankfully but I had to climb through the snow and it was steaming. I tried to give myself a pep talk but my brain was like nahhh.  😆

cassafrass123

Rant...

I forgot they tested my hemoglobin A1C again at my appointment on Thursday....but I’m vindicated that it came back within normal levels AGAIN. I’m overweight. Both of my previous babies were big. They ask me if I had gestational diabetes or if I have type 2 diabetes at literally every appointment. They also check me for it constantly. I’ve never even been close. I wish they’d look at the large amount of data they’ve compiled on my A1C every once in a while!

whatabout2ndbreakfast

@cassafrass123 that’s annoying! They did that to one of my friends too and she also wasn’t close. I got tested early last time because my babies are big (even though he was like one ounce into the big category 🙄). I think some people just have big babies! How big were yours? 

Side note my mom had gestational diabetes with my sister and she was the smallest one at 6lbs and some change

nasalot188

@feelingjovani me too! I gagged cleaning my sons poopy diaper yesterday it was so bad. I have bad gag reflexes not pregnant so this is just unbearable!

feelingjovani

@nasalot188 the worst!!

@cassafrass123 I got tested this week at my appointment too and it’s annoying. I had GD with my first so of course they are automatically assuming I’m going to have it again (and maybe do but let’s see when it happens). My son was 8 pounds at 41 weeks so he wasn’t huge by any means. I also got out of baby aspirin due to my age and BMI. 

Centralmnmom

@cassafrass123 that's so frustrating.  I hate how it assumed just because someone is overweight they will have GD.  I l luckily was able reason with my NP the since my A1C in Oct was normal I didn't need the early glucose screening. 

cassafrass123

@whatabout2ndbreakfast 8lbs 14oz for my first who was also 23” long. 10lbs 11oz for my second who was, admittedly, a little canon ball.

@feelingjovani I’m sorry you’re going through all the extra testing too!

@Centralmnmom last pregnancy they wanted to retest me for GD after a low hemoglobin A1C and passing the glucola test with flying colors. I refused. I had a big baby. Sometimes that’s just the whole story.

I understand my weight and my babies’ weights clinically correlate with GD, but it’s our third time around and my A1C has been on the low end of the normal range for over 5 years that they’ve been following me. Let’s treat the patient, not the textbook.

CanadianGamerMom

Oh man. I cannot wait until the day I can keep my eyes open for more than 5 minutes at a time when I'm home. I'm over being exhausted 24/7. I feel like that's all I ever complain about anymore haha I want to be involved here more, but everytime I open the app and try to catch up I end up falling asleep.