Will (me) crying harm my baby?

marisaaj

Hello. I'm 28 weeks, and while mostly things have been going very well with my pregnancy, I am struggling this week. My dad is dying of cancer, and I am told he has a few days left to live, most likely. I was talking to my mom (who is not married to him) and she chided me for crying. She says it's "bad for the baby" ...something about hormones, etc. I tried googling around on this, and can't really find a straight answer.

I am by no means a frequent crier, but I feel like if anything is a legitimate reason to cry, it's losing a parent. I love my dad very much, and I can't go see him, so it's extra difficult for me. He lives in Arizona and I just wish I could be there for him, just to sit by his bed. If I can't cry, I don't know how I will get through this.

I am devastated that it seems he won't get to meet his granddaughter, even just on FaceTime.

Does anyone have any thoughts or insight? Thanks in advance, or just for "listening." - M

juliebird6

I’m very sorry to hear about your dad. You crying because you are grieving is not going to harm your baby and it’s absurd that your mother told you that. I hope you are able to take the space and time you need to grieve however you need.

If you would like to join our group of other women due in April, please read the pinned threads and engage according to the norms of the board. We would love to get to know you so hop in the conversations we already have going.

marisaaj

Thank you, and sorry. I did not carefully read the through the rules and I then realized I probably posted this in the wrong place. But then once I did I discovered that this forum does not allow you to delete posts/comments... so, I'm stuck. I truly appreciate your kind reply. And everyone ... feel free to ignore me.

juliebird6

You’re totally welcome to join us - just want to make sure you check in with the rest of the group so you can actually get to know people and we can get to know you too. I hope you’ll jump in! We are a very nice group ☺️

forevertired

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I’m no professional, but I have heard that things like stress can affect your hormones and in turn your baby. That being said, you can’t stop grief. I think crying is actually a good release and in this case would be as beneficial a tool as is available. Again I’m not a doctor or therapist or anything, I’ve just heard about a lot of children born from trauma (much more long term than this). 
I hope you’ll stick around and participate in some of the other threads as well. 

kvh22

@marisaaj oh I am so sorry to hear this. That is a terrible situation and holding back your tears won't help. I'm sure it's cathartic. My good friend's mother passed away when she was 36 weeks pregnant and she sought out a therapist right away. She failed the Edinburgh screening for PPD but knew she would because she felt the same before birth. She was open with her healthcare providers about her situation and recognized that she was having a normal reaction to trauma. I hope you can embrace the last months of your pregnancy and also take the time you need to be sad and eventually grieve. Hugs!
And yes, please look around and jump in on the threads when you feel comfortable! ♥️

bblair24

@marisaaj I'm so sorry to hear about your dad! I don't have any extra advice to add, just wanted to extend my sympathies to you. I hope you'll stick around and keep us updated on how things are going! 

jenn622-2

@marisaaj how are you doing?