Beta levels dropped. Impending miscarriage. How to cope.

Whitmore1027

I just need advice on how to cope honestly. 

I found out last Monday (1.11) that I was pregnant with my 3rd. I was on the mini pill for birth control and took it perfectly so I was flabbergasted to be pregnant. On Wednesday I went in for an hcg test. It was 35. On Friday I went for another test, and it dropped to 25. My doctor said I'm going to miscarry. 

Although it was an unplanned surprise, I am heartbroken at the loss. But I'm also in a weird limbo. Because I'm still pregnant. No signs of cramping or bleeding yet. I keep having this sliver of hope that maybe this pregnancy will pull through. But my doctor was pretty much "it's a loss, end of story". 

What happens if I don't start bleeding soon? I'm just so nervous about the waiting. 

We never had a sono. My doctor said it would be too early. I would be 5 weeks now according to my LMP. 

Has anyone gone through this? Where your betas were soo low and still dropped. How long until you started bleeding? Is there a chance I'll need a D&C? 

Thank you!

capnjackharkness

@Whitmore1027 I've had HCG numbers as low (or lower) than yours.  They'll keep dropping and you will MC.  I'm sorry.  However, sometimes they can drop within a few days and you'll start bleeding and your follow-up will go well and you can start trying after your next cycle.  Sometimes, it's not as easy.  Sometimes it can take weeks/months for the numbers to drop down below 5 (HCG below 5 = not PG), and so you just have to wait.  With numbers as low as yours, and it being early on, I'd expect you'll probably start bleeding within a few days. Did your doctor give you a day to call back if you didn't start to MC naturally?  With as early as you are, if you haven't started bleeding by say like Wednesday, I'd give them a call.  You may end up needing medication to jumpstart the process or to have a D&C.  But that's not usually the case with early MCs that have low HCGs. Just sometimes it can take your body a bit to 'figure it out' so to speak and start the process, especially if this is your first MC.  It's definitely a mindf*ck to know you are both PG and yet in the process of MC because it is not a viable pregnancy.  I'm sorry for your loss.

Whitmore1027

@capnjackharkness Thank you so much for your reply! That helps a ton. I have had an early loss once before (that I know of), when I was TTC my 2nd. But that was a loss at about 3w5d I believe, so not much different feeling than my period starting at that time. And I never even saw the doctor about it. This time is so different considering my bleeding is nowhere to be seen still. 

I did ask my doctor what I should do if I happen to not start bleeding, and she did say to call mid to late next week if it doesn't happen. But she seemed pretty confident that it will happen soon. 

I think I'm also worried about it being ectopic. I know ectopic pregnancies are higher chance when you get pregnant on a progesterone only pill. She said if it was ectopic, the numbers would have still risen some rather than dropped. So although that makes me feel better about that, I'm still scared of that happening. I know we will want to try for a 3rd one day, and the thought of a rupturing tube is terrifying. 

I am most likely worrying over nothing though! I definitely trust my doctor.

And yes! It's a total mindf*ck. I seriously just wonder around thinking, "what the heck is going on?" It's so hard. I got so happy with the thought that getting pregnant again was so meant to be (considering we actually had a super hard time conceiving our 1st and 2nd). 

Anyway, sorry for the ramble. It's just good to talk to those who understand. 

Also, your name looks familiar! I wonder if I chatted with you before. I was on the TTC board over 2 years ago. As well as the BMB 2016 and 2018. 

capnjackharkness

@Whitmore1027 Your SN looks familiar too!  I um, am 'newer' but one of my 'friends' @dpjennifer or @dpchickens may have been around.    They/I used to hang out in TTGP and TTCAL boards quite a lot.  Unfortunately, I only ever was on a BMB for my 2nd PG for a few weeks before I had to leave.  I've had 5 MC and no living children.  

My first MC was a suspected molar PG, and I found out on a Wednesday afternoon.  I had a D&C scheduled for early Friday morning (so that they could test the tissue).  I was supposedly 8.5 weeks along according to LMP (which is crap, cause my cycles are longer, so I was really 7.5 weeks along), but only measuring like 5.5 weeks along.  It was definitely a mindf*ck.  I was all like "I want this dead thing out of me" and yet "I feel completely PG right now" and also "But I NEED this baby to stay put until Friday so that it can be tested."  Just... overwhelming.  

And yeah, usually skyrocketing HCG numbers are one of the big signs of an ectopic.  So I wouldn't worry about that since your numbers are so low and are dropping.  Your body is probably just still trying to figure it out and may just need some time to get it all going.

Whitmore1027

Oh yes! Dpjennifer sounds familiar too! I have to go back a read my past posts. I was totally the TTGP board when I was trying for my 2nd! 

My heart hurts for you so much! I'm so sorry for everything you have gone through. So many hugs sent your way! Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Although it's heartbreaking the reasons you have this experience.
 
Thanks again sweetie!