Nanny/Childcare Options — The Bump
June 2021 Moms

Nanny/Childcare Options

Hoping to poll those mothers who have used various childcare options for some advice on what to look for.  Nannies, daycare, etc. Pros and Cons, things you would do differently, that sort of stuff.   :)

Re: Nanny/Childcare Options

  • @kfc1983 my DS goes to daycare. I have friends who use nannies and love them. Daycare has been great for my son, in regards to our experience, he is becoming an independent guy who is very social and loves playing with other kids. We actually plan to move him to a Montessori school and they had an opening from the waitlist and I decided I wasn’t ready for him to leave his daycare where he is so loved yet. It’s all about finding the right daycare for sure because they have horror stories, but when you find a great place it’s so hard to leave. I went to a Montessori when I was a kid and both of my kids will eventually go, but he is so happy where he is at right now and that makes me thrilled as a parent.
  • We are getting an au pair for when number 3 gets here. 

    My daughter was in preschool and we pulled her due covid stuff. But we’re full time working parents, so tried the nanny thing. Had 3 failed nanny attempts. We just couldn’t afford a high quality nanny for 18-25$ for our 3 year old (now 4) for 30+ hours per week. So she’s back in school. Well out this week due to covid exposure at school... but no symptom and out of quarantine now. So. Yay.

    hubs was a stay at home parent for 9 years. He wanted an au pair because he is nervous about leaving our infant that can’t talk with anyone. 
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  • @angelz429 we had an au pair starting when DS was 9mo old and would have another right now except for the travel ban. Sigh. Hoping that gets lifted soon so we can get our next au pair here before this one is born! Anyway, highly recommend! It was a great experience for all of us and we’re still in touch regularly with our first au pair. 

    Right now we’re in a nanny share for DS which is alright. It’s great that he has socialization with 2 other kiddos (just one other family) but I wouldn’t feel comfortable adding a baby to the mix with our current nanny. 

    In general, daycares in our area are crazy expensive, so it’s all kind of a wash $$ wise. Also have really long waitlists. Started looking when I was 5mo pregnant with DS and that was too late for a lot of places. Crazy! @kfc1983 if you are thinking daycare, start looking now :) 
  • We have a nanny. Daycare just isn’t an option yet for my kid with his allergies. I don’t trust them at all with it. We absolutely love our nanny and my son loves her. The only con is if she’s sick then we don’t have childcare but she has only ever had 1 day out in 5 months. Best pro is, in a non-covid world, she also babysits for us and will likely be our childcare while I’m having this baby!

    *Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*

  • akorosakoros member
    edited January 2021
    Planning on daycare, hopefully the one in my work building. I get some preference via my employer, plus have been on the wait list for a weirdly long time (explanation in spoiler),  so I'm hopeful it'll work out. There's another daycare across the street from work, too, where I think I might still be on the wait list, and it's one of those deals where one fee puts you on the list for up to 3 of the daycares in their network, and there's a bunch nearby. We don't have the space for an au pair, and nannies are super expensive here, plus I like the idea of socialization and being able to visit during the day. I went to the daycare in my dad's office building and loved it.

    I got anxious about daycare wait lists and went on super early in my first pregnancy (about 8 weeks). We lost that pregnancy, but by the time I got the nerve to notify them again I was pregnant, and COVID was underway.  The one in my building just pushed back my desired start date, the other one is closed so I didn't really get to talk to them. I still haven't called them after we lost that second pregnancy, but hoping they'll do the same this time and just adjust my due date. I feel like I should send them a doctor's note to prove that I haven't been making all of these up

  • We are very lucky, my mom is DD’s nanny (she retired from teaching a couple months before DD was born and we pay her $1000/month to supplement her retirement income) and will help with the new baby initially too. I really want to get DD into school for socialization once it is safer which it will hopefully be by next fall! 

    *TTC History*

    Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017

    TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia

    TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020

    IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal

    FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+

  • We have had DS in daycare since he was about
    11months old.  Our daycare is geared towards healthcare workers so opens super early and closes late for the 12 hr shift people.  He doesn’t stay late since MH has a normal schedule.   Something I wanted in a daycare was cameras.  There aren’t many with cameras in my city but they are becoming more popular.  They give you a log in for the cameras and set it up with their classroom and the playground so you can check on them whenever you want.  

    We had a 3 month waitlist for DS.  Usually they give preference to siblings so we’ve already let them know we’ve got another one coming so they keep a spot come time for DS2 to go.    

    We love our daycare and DS has learned so much from them.  I know had I kept him home and not worked he would not know half of the things he knows now.  

  • Both my kids have been in daycare centers since 3 months. They have a main caretaker, but there are other caretakers in the room who are knowledgeable of their routines, etc., and can fill in if the main person is out. I felt more comfortable having a group of caretakers vs just one- personally, I felt like it kept the caretaker more accountable. I also didn't want my kids forming a super strong relationship with just one caretaker outside of our family- I've had a few friends that had nannies leave unexpectedly and it was hard for their kids. 

    I also did not want a center with cameras that parents could access remotely- I felt uncomfortable that other parents I don't know could be watching my kids. When ds2 was 2, there was a dad who would very aggressively question the teacher whenever his daughter came home and said someone pushed her (normal 2 year old behavior as they're learning how to socialize). At drop off he'd tell his daughter to go point out the kids who pushed her so he could have a talk with them. It was weird and there is no way I'd be comfortable having that guy watch my kid on a camera. 

    I have loved daycare- my kids have learned so much and the caretakers are all amazing. They've nurtured the sparks that my kids have, and have really helped my kids grow into loving, caring, curious people. I'd recommend a center that focuses on play or is child-centered vs academics- play is sooo important for development, and they'll have plenty of time for academics later. 
  • When I returned to work after DD was born my mom would come and watch her if DH and I both had to work on the same day. It was usually 1 day a week and sometimes a morning for a few hours between when I would leave for work and DH would get home from work. DH works a rotating schedule of 2 24 hr shifts and when I was working full time I was doing 3 12 hr shifts (usually m, t, w). When covid started we didn’t feel comfortable having my mom come over so I ended up going per diem. I will continue per diem for as long as possible and honestly don’t plan to go back to work full time until both girls are in school full time. 
    Me: 38, DH: 37
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
    BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21

  • DS was in a small in home center center from 12 weeks to 1y 3m. I felt comfortable there because we had a friend who had their little boy there and only had positive things to say. Otherwise, I probably would have been hesitant to use an in home center. They were starte certified which was really important to me. They were wonderful, and thought we moved from that city we still send the couple a Christmas card.

    We moved then to a small town outside a different city that has a little daycare center in town. DS started there in the baby room at 1y 3m and he now goes to their school age kids program (the bus picks up and drops off at the daycare). One of DS's friends who he has had since they were in the baby room at the daycare, has a grandmother who works at the center in the baby room. I feel a little badly that this baby will be in a larger daycare setting to start, but it feels more personal since we know so many of the teachers after 5 year's at the center and DS's friend's grandmother is they head teacher in the baby room. 
    Me: 36, DH: 38, Together since: 2006, Married: 9/2011 
    **TW Living Child**

    BFP 9/19/20 - EDD - 6/1/21

    BFP 2/2014 - DS - 10/2014

  • We had planned to do daycare but the center we wanted had a wait list of almost a year. We ended up doing a nanny share with another family in our neighborhood and it worked out great. We love our nanny. She is young and we won’t have her forever but she is flexible and loves my kid so we will use her for as long as we can. 
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog

  • We send DD to an in-home babysitter. She keeps my SILs kids as well, so it's basically a big cousin party lol. She started going when she was around 11 months (when my mat leave ended), and loves seeing all her "best friends."

    Daycare spaces are very hard to find here, and most won't take children under 18 months.
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