Feeling Guilty...

midwestglamgrl

Good Morning All. 

This is my very first post here after cruising and checking things out for a few weeks. I’m not sure if I’m posting this in the correct forum— but I chose this one because I’m currently 15 weeks but something has been weighing heavily on my spirit and I’m not sure if anyone has experienced anything similar. 

I found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks and immediately wanted to terminate. This is my very first pregnancy and I’m in my early 30s... I was always very career and travel oriented, I never really wanted kids. At any rate, since I thought I was solid on my decision, I continued to drink a bit between weeks 5-7. There were three separate occasions and I remember EXACTLY what I drank because I felt awful about it every time (Whiskey, White Claw & Red Wine). 

I recently had my appointment at the clinic to terminate and I didn’t have the heart to go through with it. I ran out of there as fast as I could. Now I’m feeling guilty and being hard on myself for drinking early on and not taking better care of myself and the baby. I’m worried about any potential problems I may have caused for my little nugget. (I just needed a place to vent— I haven’t talked about this with anyone. Don’t go too hard on me, guys). 

harpseal135

midwestglamgrl said:

Good Morning All. 

This is my very first post here after cruising and checking things out for a few weeks. I’m not sure if I’m posting this in the correct forum— but I chose this one because I’m currently 15 weeks but something has been weighing heavily on my spirit and I’m not sure if anyone has experienced anything similar. 

I found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks and immediately wanted to terminate. This is my very first pregnancy and I’m in my early 30s... I was always very career and travel oriented, I never really wanted kids. At any rate, since I thought I was solid on my decision, I continued to drink a bit between weeks 5-7. There were three separate occasions and I remember EXACTLY what I drank because I felt awful about it every time (Whiskey, White Claw & Red Wine). 

I recently had my appointment at the clinic to terminate and I didn’t have the heart to go through with it. I ran out of there as fast as I could. Now I’m feeling guilty and being hard on myself for drinking early on and not taking better care of myself and the baby. I’m worried about any potential problems I may have caused for my little nugget. (I just needed a place to vent— I haven’t talked about this with anyone. Don’t go too hard on me, guys). 

Honestly, im not saying nothing happened, but I know people who did not know they were pregnant and partied hard for the first 8 weeks, or so.  They completely 180d and their kiddo was fine.  I know someone who smoked weed her whole pregnancy, and the kid was fine - i will never say that her choices were good, they were risky and I always disagreed with this choice.  

So, if you are taking care of yourself now, focus on that and continue to be healthier and go from there. 

meggyme

There is nothing you can do about past indiscretions. You can change it, not even by feeling guilty. So you might as well move on. Maybe focus that negative energy toward being extra healthy through your pregnancy. When you feel bad about it go for a walk or plan a nutritious meal. Don’t hide it from your doctors so that they can look for the appropriate signs of anything amiss. But if anyone tries to shame you tell them you are doing better now and are not afraid to find a different care provider with more understanding.