Product Spotlight: Intangibles

redselig

This is a place for FTMs to ask questions about, S+TMs to share their prior experience with, and everyone to share what they're eyeing in the world of maternity, baby and postpartum products. Each week we'll spotlight a new category of product to help streamline and make it easier to refer back. This week we're discussing intangibles!  

Please use the prompts below to try to share as much relevant info as you can in a format that is easy for those reading to navigate and respond to.

For S+TMs: 

• Individual (e.g., lifestyle) factors that might influence your choice:
• Favorite intangibles:
• Link/picture:
• Cost (either actual dollar amount, or just $, $$, $$$, etc.):
• What you like and don't like about it: are there intangibles you don't have but are considering? Why?:
• Are there intangibles you've tried that you absolutely hate? Why?: 
• Additional thoughts on intangibles?:

For FTMs:

• Intangibles you're interested in:
• Link/picture:
• Cost (either actual dollar amount, or just $, $$, $$$, etc.):
• Any questions for S+TMs?:

To view past Product Spotlights or the upcoming schedule, see
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1IrF0iah5XaJFdFTHzNVcIEq4ujZTwq_j1bG9W-bovNs/edit#gid=0

redselig

Ok, I don’t know what this actually means. 😂 Any thoughts, ladies? 

princessjenney

I have no idea either... 😂

finnflan

🤣🤣🤣 add me to the what on earth train...

Here’s my stab at it, on the assumption that it’s referring to things that are helpful when baby comes that aren’t necessarily things you buy. 

1. Have a chat with your partner now about expectations for help when baby comes (whether that be the time they’re taking off, nighttime feeds, picking up slack with cooking/cleaning, etc). Much easier to at least talk about these things ahead of time than heated in the moment. What you plan may not work out but at least you have something to try first. 

2. Also talk to your partner about visitors at the hospital and at home (let’s pretend COVID isn’t a thing for a second). Let your partner be the body guard to keep people away from the hospital if that’s what you want (I personally hated having people there and felt like my mom bullied her way in for a visit). Consider taking some time for your immediate family at home for a few days before having visitors over. Bringing COVID back into it, are you guys on the same page with who can visit with it around and what precautions needs to be taken? Visitors shouldn’t be kissing babies’ hands or feet even in the best of times yet they always do - what’s your approach now?

3. consider if you want to have some freezer meals/meal prep in advance. I’d suggest making meals you know you normally like rather than having a bunch of new ones waiting, as you’re probably going to be tired and want comfort. Consider signing up for a meal box delivery for the first few weeks so there’s less planning needed, etc (we’ve used one for years anyway and it is a big help in that regard). Also lactation cookies if you think you might breastfeed - I made a giant batch and froze them so I could bring out one or two when I wanted. 

4. if you have other kids and pets, have a plan for who’s going to take care of them when you go to the hospital and where. Pack their stuff/make instructions for them as well when you’re doing your hospital bag. 

mvt2003

I think @finnflan got it right. When in doubt, I always check the May 2020 BMB, they were very on top of things, and this is their Intangibles post: 

• Products aren't everything! What sort of services or help or non-buyable actions are on your wishlist for this pregnancy/post-partum time?
• Are there any intangible things that people have offered you thus far or what you have indulged in/purchased already that you'd recommend?

sunny_native14

My friend's parents paid for a housecleaning service to come weekly for the first month after baby's arrival....dang. I can't even imagine how helpful that must have been! 

manillabar

omg @sunny_native14 I wish someone would do that for me!

juliebeannn

@sunny_native14 that's sounds like the best gift ever. 

@finnflan What a great list of things to consider and think about.  I'm kind of glad that I won't be able to have visitors this time at the hospital bc as much as I think it helped me get out of bed and move around, which helped jumpstart my c-section recovery but I was definitely overwhelmed.

I plan on making some freezer meals this time.  My mom made us food for a month or two after my first was born, but we now live 40 min away versus 5 min away last time, so she's only signed up for 2 weeks of food, which I'm more than thankful for.

I know a few people that have had meal-trains set up for them which can be super helpful.  I've used a site called mealtrain.com to help a friend going through chemo.  

mvt2003

@sunny_native14 I would die of happiness if someone did that for me in non-Covid times! 

manillabar

Yes, definitely worth talking with your SO about visitors. I definitely appreciated having my mom and sister around in the beginning because my H was pretty bewildered and not much help for the first few weeks but I know he was overwhelmed by everyone's constant presence. COVID means we probably will only have the grandparents for short visits (assuming they have appropriately quarantined, aren't sick, etc) until things are better and the baby is bigger. 

One thing H and I did from the beginning that was helpful was to alternate night-time feedings. so that allowed me to get slightly longer stretches at night (although sometimes I had to wake up to wake him up, haha, but at least I could go right back to sleep myself). We were also doing mostly bottlefeeding though because of latch issues. We still will likely do both breast and bottle this time so that he can help. Plus, since he's a SAHD, she'll need to get used to him feeding her anyway. If you are hoping to do exclusively breast with no bottle-feeding at all, think about other ways your SO can help in order to make the frequent wakings less onerous on yourself. I know some people will have their SO handle everything else (diaper changes etc) and then bring the baby to them only for feeding, so that would be another thought. 

Our church usually does meal trains, and it was definitely a life-saver last time, so we will definitely take them up on it this time as well!

kloe818

My mom is planning to be here for the first couple weeks after delivery. My mother-in-law is 3 miles away and will likely stop by daily. I'm asking for masks at all times and washing hands before holding baby and no kissing. I don't even want to risk a cold at this point. 
Meals: hubby is already the cook in the household so I'm not worried about that. I've asked him if he wants to do freezer meals and he said no, we'll order out when too tired. We have yet to discuss who will do what, but he's usually very happy to do whatever makes life easier for me. 

sunny_native14

We are actually thinking of doing one of those meal delivery services (where they deliver the ingredients) to help out for the first month or so. I'm not sure really where to start....any suggestions welcome! 

juliebeannn

@sunny_native14 I've been using HelloFresh the last few weeks bc I got a discount for Black Friday and we've really liked it.  The meals all take around a half hour (including cook time) but they're surprisingly yummy.  Our only gripe is that the portions are on the smaller side.  It's perfect for me, but DH eats a lot.  Here's my referral code if you want to try it. I think it's $40 off. 

mvt2003

It's definitely more expensive than a meal kit, but we used Freshly meal delivery during my 1st tri when I was constantly ill and I couldn't even make our lunches. Depending on how this all goes, we may resurrect it to get us through the newborn stage haha. 

redselig

So many great suggestions on here. If there’s one thing I have learned, it is how to say no without any guilt whatsoever. ‘No you can’t come over, no I can’t send you a daily update + pics, no I can’t for whatever reason!’ Do exactly what you need to do to feel good and don’t worry about anyone else. 

princessjenney

I'm so grateful my mom is getting immunized. She already had her 1st dose and should be getting her 2nd soon (She's a nurse but she works in case management now).. so the plan is she'll stay here with DD and our pup while we're in the hospital for my C/S (we're hoping 3 days tops), then she'll already be here when we get home. 🙌 I'm so grateful that I'll have her help... I have no idea what we would have done otherwise.

sunny_native14

@juliebeannn Thanks for the suggestion and the code! @mvt2003 that would be so amazing to do something like that!