Elective C section? — The Bump
3rd Trimester

Elective C section?

Hi!

I wanted to see if anyone had luck requesting an elective c-section? I was sexually abused as a child and the thought of giving birth vaginally and all of those hands in me for hours/days on end in the hospital really makes me sick to my stomach. I have been to therapy for years but honestly I think it is best to go a c section route. Anyone have luck with this?

Re: Elective C section?

  • harpseal135harpseal135 member
    edited December 2020
    Hi!

    I wanted to see if anyone had luck requesting an elective c-section? I was sexually abused as a child and the thought of giving birth vaginally and all of those hands in me for hours/days on end in the hospital really makes me sick to my stomach. I have been to therapy for years but honestly I think it is best to go a c section route. Anyone have luck with this?
    Talk to your medical provider about your worries/concerns they will be the best to give you advice.  

    Not being rude or cold-hearted, but doctor hands are not in you for hours and days.  They are very quick single/double inserts and thats it.  Lasts less than 8 seconds.  And that is just periodic if you are in labor for a long time, and initial check in (that was my case). 

    Just as a heads up, though.  Do be prepared that even on routine checkups towards the end they do ask to check for dilation - for my weekly appointments they did. 

    Honestly during labor, for me, it was minimal checking and a lot of looking no touching unless necessary.  That was my experience though. 

    Best wishes.

    Please do talk to your provider. 
    [Deleted User]
  • I haven’t had a csection but wanted to add 2 things. You can always say no to cervical checks, or any procedure. It may be against doctor’s recommendation but you can say no. If you are worried about finding your voice in the moment strongly consider getting a doula. They can help you hold your boundaries, like reminding people to ask for explicit consent before doing anything to your body.

    The second thing is to make sure your insurance will cover an elective c section. I’ve heard stories of some mothers being stuck with a huge bill for choosing a c section without a medical necessity. You may be able to get it approved from a mental health angle, but it may require more paperwork.

    I’m so sorry this is affecting your pregnancy and delivery experience and I hope you have a great delivery.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
    harpseal135lelkcot[Deleted User]vampirina
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  • coldlife2coldlife2 member
    edited December 2020
    You’ll just have to discuss it with your doctor. Generally, they aren’t recommended because it’s a major surgery that should be saved for life-saving scenarios. 

    A few other options for you: cervical checks are generally quick and infrequent. I’ve had maybe three or four over the course of my labors (which were on the shorter side). I’ve also typically only had one or two or none during my pregnancy before labor. 

    Speak with your doctor about consent and tell them you want them to always ask before doing them. 

    Look into spontaneous pushing or instinctual labor. These are methods where a woman follows her body’s natural cues to deliver her baby as opposed to “ok, you’ve reached 10 cm, now you can push.” There are women out there who go through entire pregnancies and deliveries with no cervical checks. 

     Look into using a freestanding birth center or having a home birth. You would only be eligible if you are low risk. I have had three OOH births, and I loved them. There were only ever the same three midwives in the room (I could have requested no apprentices, and then I would have only had two), and only one ever did cervical checks. 

    You also could look into having a midwife-assisted birth at a hospital. The midwifery model of care tends to be more low key, “natural,” and less medicalized, and tend toward things like following your cues. 

    I hope you have a positive and empowering birth experience.
    [Deleted User]
  • @miababyxx22 I know this is from December so you may have already had your baby for all we know, but just FYI, no one needed to go anywhere near my vagina during delivery. I *asked* for a check at my 40+1 appt so that she could do a sweep and hopefully kickstart labor, but otherwise my midwives don't do cervical checks unless requested. I requested one when I got to the birth center too just to make sure I knew I was actually in labor. That check was when I was at a 5. A couple hours later I had my baby in the tub and no one looked at my vagina or touched me at all. I pushed her out and picked her up! With my son, I was on a bed but again, no one was touching me or looking at him come out...I was leaning over the back of the bed squatting. It's your right to refuse cervical checks and you should ask about whether you will be permitted to deliver in whatever position you want (obviously an epidural makes that harder). If things go crazy they may need to check or touch, but at that point, you probably won't care. You can decline too.
    DSS: March 2006
    DD: July 2017
    DS: February 2019
    BFP #3 TW ended in CP March 2020
    BFP #4 - TW ended in CP August 2020
    BFP #5 - due October 2021
  • I think you should talk to your provider. You can request that no one checks you prior to labor. You can turn down all checks at the hospital too. They can’t force you to let them check your cervix. The problem will be at checkin. Unless you are pretty far along in active labor and it’s obvious they won’t let you stay at the hospital. Unless your water has broke and they can confirm that by testing the fluid externally. 
    [Deleted User]
  • I think you should talk to your provider. You can request that no one checks you prior to labor. You can turn down all checks at the hospital too. They can’t force you to let them check your cervix. The problem will be at checkin. Unless you are pretty far along in active labor and it’s obvious they won’t let you stay at the hospital. Unless your water has broke and they can confirm that by testing the fluid externally. 
    I'll second this one.
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