IF Testing/Treatment w/o 12.21

keikilove

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility, and it becomes a whole new ball game. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation. 

Diagnosis (if you've been): 

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): 

How are things going?: 

Any questions?:

GTKY: Favorite winter holidays tradition? 

misshelen86

Diagnosis (if you've been): MFI

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW 

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): FET was Dec 17th

How are things going?: Things are going pretty well. I go back and forth between being really hopeful and then thinking this isn’t going to work. When I fall into that negative mindset, I find something to distract myself with, which isn’t hard at this time of year- there’s so much to do! I’ll poas at some point this week, probably the 24th which is 7dp5dt. I don’t have a beta scheduled since the clinic will be closed.. I am supposed to just go with whatever result I get on Dec 28th on a hpt. 

Any questions?: no

GTKY: Favorite winter holidays tradition? Cuddling up in my jammies with a warm cup of hot chocolate and a good movie! 

krash_

@misshelen86 Thinking of you and every finger and toe crossed for you! 

Diagnosis (if you've been): unexplained, blocked tube (maybe)

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Letrozole + TI

How are things going?: Good. Monitoring u/s on Wednesday and likely triggering and TI over the weekend at my dad's house for Christmas. 

Any questions?: I have heard the stories about Clomid and how it affects people but has anyone ever felt that way with Letrozole? I have been super irritable and short and some depression symptoms. I have regular therapy and I have been doing really well but the last week has been really hard and the only thing I can think of is the letrozole. I did find on one site (Mayo Clinic I think) that a less common side effect can be mental depression. Maybe I will talk to the dr about trying Clomid instead if this cycle isn't it. I also think I need to switch to an infertility therapist because I haven't even told my regular therapist that we are doing treatments and I think I want someone who really understands the specifics of infertility and mental health. 

GTKY: Favorite winter holidays tradition? Baking!

optimisticoctopus

@misshelen86 keep thinking happy thoughts!!! I’m keeping everything crossed for you!

@krash_ sorry that you’re not feeling great on Letrozole! Hopefully your doctor might have some insight for you.

Diagnosis (if you've been): unexplained

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): IUI #3 was 12/19

How are things going?: Pretty good! My RE thinks this is my best cycle since we started with the Clomid/IUI protocols. He said he thinks we have a really good chance this cycle. So we are just really hoping that this did the trick. I had my “next steps consultation” today though, in case this IUI isn’t successful. He gave me the option of trying injectables or moving forward with IVF. I wasn’t anticipating IVF being an option when I went into the consultation, so it threw me for a loop a little bit. I told him I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet, and that I’d like to try the injectables first. But I feel like if we do a couple cycles of that and it doesn’t work I’ll be kicking myself for not jumping into IVF. Ugh, idk. I guess I’m a little stressed about it. It’s also hard to think about when I’m trying to be so positive for this cycle!

Any questions?: How did those of you who are doing IVF come to that decision? I’m so conflicted and I don’t know how I feel. I feel like I’m still battling the whole “my body is failing me” complex, and that if I do IVF I’m like giving up on my body’s ability to do this or something (logically I realize this is not even a little bit true, and that it’s dumb that I think that considering we are already at this point).

GTKY: Favorite winter holidays tradition? Either baking or wrapping presents. I know a lot of people hate wrapping but I LOVE it! I’m waiting until winter break because then it really feels like Christmas when I wrap everything up.

misshelen86

@krash_ GL with the monitoring appointment! Sorry that you feel like letrozole is affecting your mental health. Sounds like a good idea to mention that to your doctor and see if clomid is a better alternative for you.

@runningoncookies Glad your RE is feeling so optimistic! FX for you!

My response to your question is really long so I’ll put it in a spoiler 

When our RE brought up IVF, I was really overwhelmed and definitely wasn’t ready to consider it right away. We tried the other options presented to us first- DH had surgery for his varicoceles, then we waited for an improvement and tried an IUI. While we were waiting for his surgery, I spent some time learning about IVF since I knew we would likely end up here. We talked about it a lot as a couple and did a mandatory counseling session through our clinic. On the day of our IUI, his counts were really low again and after consulting with our RE, decided it didn’t make sense to keep spending time and money on something that probably wouldn’t work. I can relate to the feelings of “my body is failing me” and I still have those feelings from time to time. It’s one of the most difficult parts of infertility, the lack of control we have over our bodies. All we can do is keep taking things one day/one appointment at a time and focus on the things we can control. 

keikilove

@misshelen86 Hope you’re continuing to be busy & distracted during your TWW.💗Thinking of you & praying that you get good news whenever you poas this week. 

@krash_ Sorry the letrozole has been doing a number on your emotions. I felt nothing on it but have heard others have the same reactions as you while on it. Hope all goes great at your monitoring u/s & hoping you don’t have to switch to clomid next cycle. 

@runningoncookies Crossing everything for you that this is it! It’s great to hear that your doctor feels so confident that this was a really good cycle. It makes a lot of sense that It’s hard for you to think about any next steps that could be required while you’re trying to remain very positive and just focus on the current cycle. Re: your question about moving to IVF: I did many things first (details in spoiler) and don’t regret taking that long road. The thing I do regret is that my RE suggested a test a whole year ago that my RI specialist said I didn’t need. Here I am a year later with positive results to that test, a very likely explanation for my IF challenges, and the new knowledge that my RI doesn’t believe in it and that’s why she downplayed it a year ago. So that part sucks but I do believe that this timing has worked in my favor. I couldn’t have had the job I had last year where I traveled a lot, increased my pay, and that catapulted me to the work I’m doing now if I’d been pregnant earlier.  

Personally, I did 4 unmedicated IUIs in a row before really committing to the idea of IVF. My insurance had already denied me for IVF coverage so doing relatively cheap IUIs out-of-pocket felt like a reasonable next step. I got positives every time, but they all ended in chemicals. The 5th & final IUI we tried a bit of letrozole, but that didn’t work at all. For me, all of this was an indication that my body was working just fine on its own as far as conception, but something was going awry at implantation— Either a rejection issue due to immune response or bad embryos. So IVF was the next logical step to hopefully eliminate the possibility of embryos. Plus, my new insurance approved IVF. So it all came together eventually. That’s my very long-winded answer of how we came to the determination that IVF was our best next step. I think it’s different for each person/couple. Best of luck to you as you make the decision for yourselves! But hoping it will be a non-issue after a successful IUI.🤞🏽❤️

acleverusername

Hi all! I took a few days off this week, only to wonder back to some wonderful news and I really really really hope those good news keep rolling in before the end of the year! 

@misshelen86 really rooting for you; will patiently monitor TB in the next few days with my fingers (and toes, and everything else) crossed. What funny movies have you watched post-transfer? 

@krash_ I've actually heard of ppl having bad side effects on Letrazole too but it's a lot more rare. I would definitely check with your doctor about switching if you're feeling so crummy. Personally, Clomid doesn't affect me at all (and I really hate to keep mentioning this given how it affects @runningoncookies), and I have better results on it than with Letrazole. So, it's possible you're in the minority that will tolerate Clomid better. Also, I do recommend a fertility therapist; I found it's so much easier to talk to one about everything that's happening. With everything being virtual these days, it will probably be easier to find one. Good luck with your monitoring appointment tomorrow!

@runningoncookies I'm so excited about your cycle! It's great that your RE I so positive; I really hope this IS YOUR cycle! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 More in spoiler: 

Although I haven't moved on to IVF yet, I have a consultation booked on Jan 20 to start the discussion and this is something we'll move forward with in Feb. Here's how I've arrived at this: if we're unsuccessful this cycle, that gives us 1 more IUI cycles to try (for a total of 4). The cumulative success rate of IUIs is 40% after 3-4 cycles ... so it doesn't really make statistical sense to do more after that anyway. Also, by then, we will have eliminated some factors for infertility (sperm quality, egg quality to a certain extent... if we manage to grow 2-3 follicles this time) and I will know the issue is something else: either fertilization or implantation, or some hidden thing in my uterus, etc. I'm the kind of person to hates to give up, so I'm very familiar with the feelings you're grappling with. Thinking about it, mentally preparing yourself for it including – like misshelen suggested – understanding what it entails, really helps. 

acleverusername

Gah - got stuck in the spoiler box and couldn't get out! 

Diagnosis (if you've been): hypoandrogenic PCOS, MFI (morph @ 2%), AMA

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Combo IUI cycles with Clomid & Gonal-F

How are things going?: Good! Bummed that the last cycle didn't work, but also looking forward to my next cycle. I've previously had good results with taking 100mg of Clomid (double the dose of last cycle), so I'm really hoping that I'll get more than 1 follicle this time around; 3 follicles would be ideal. At least with 3, statistically speaking, 1-1.5 eggs should be euploid and fertilizable. So 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻. Day 9 monitoring appointment is on Monday the 28th. Turns out the clinic is also closed 25-27 (Ha! I feel pretty sheepish now for wondering why @krash_ 's clinic didn't do monitoring on weekends and was closed at Christmas!) so they're having me do OPKs as of 25th just in case I ovulate earlier with the injectables. We shall see. Hopefully not. 

I'm also taking a bit of a break from TB these next 2 weeks (i.e. not posting to the dailies) while I'm off work; just giving myself some time to reflect on everything I've learned this year... about my own body, about fertility, etc.  

Any questions?: NATM

GTKY: Favorite winter holidays tradition? I really gotta make some new ones since I no longer spend winters in a snowy part of the world (there, it was definitely skiing). Last year, MH and I went to AZ for Christmas since my FIL and SMIL have a winter house just outside of Phoenix. We ended up going to Topgolf on Christmas Day which was ridiculous amounts of fun. 

keikilove

Diagnosis (if you've been): RPL, DQ Alpha match, blood-clotting disorders, elevated NK cells & activity, AMA, DOR

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): AF showed up while I was on BCP. So we have been switched from a medicated FET in January to a natural FET in January. We can try naturally on our own at the end of this month & if AF rears her ugly head, then we move to natural FET. 

How are things going?: Great overall. I felt very uneasy about being on BCP for 3 weeks—I’ve heard too many bad things about over-suppressing with DOR. So AF showing up despite the BCP was a surprise, but a welcome one! Now we get one last shot at trying on our own. One thing that is not great & very sad. *TW: Death*

I just found out that the Dr. who did our LIT treatment got COVID & died very suddenly last week. MH & I were shocked by this news. He had just helped us with our second LIT treatment in November. There was a woman there who was assuring everyone in the waiting room that the treatment really works, that the Dr. is a miracle worker. He helped so many people. His death is such a loss on so many levels.💔 

Any questions?: Has anyone (current or graduate IFers) done a natural FET? I don’t remember who it was that talked about it. 

GTKY: Favorite winter holidays tradition? We still sing Christmas carols as a family. This year we won’t go house-to-house, but it’s still a lovely tradition. 

bows22

@keikilove You may have already thought of her but I think that is what @mvt2003 did? Just wanted to mention in case she doesn’t read the thread this week.

keikilove

@bows22 Thanks!❤️❤️

mvt2003

@bows22 Ha me not lurk. You and @keikilove know me better than that! 

As always though, you are correct. I have done 2 natural FETs and have actually never done a medicated one! Hit me with any specific questions, and in the interim I'll give you a quick rundown. 

I typically went in for a baseline check at cd10, I'm a pretty early ovulator. For both of my completed natural transfers I was actually ready to trigger at CD10. (I had started monitoring for a natural FET in March immediately after my first CP, and was still not ready to trigger at CD10 or CD12 but then the world ended, so we called it for that cycle.) All I did was an Ovidrel trigger, then 7 days later the transfer. I did endometrin twice a day, no PIO or estrogen supplementation. My CP issues seemed to be implantation related and they assumed for genetic reasons (and of course I did IVF for MFI) so my meds were minimal. 

laura-kay

Diagnosis (if you've been): unexplained 

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): IUI plus Gonal F and Ovidrel 

How are things going?: Ok, I guess.  Mixed feelings.

Any questions?:  In my comments below 

GTKY: Favorite winter holidays tradition? Caroling is one of my favorites 

So, I’m feeling kind of stressed right now.  First - we decided to continue through Christmas season, when we also are having 8 people from my family stay.  It’s really stressing out my DH (and somewhat me) right now.  They also came a day early due to weather, so they will arrive at our house before we get home from my first monitoring visit for this round.  We were planning to get the house ready on my first day off and have a day together ourselves first.  

TW about other struggles...

Also - there are three young children, and while I love them so much, there is a lingering frustration and sadness that my sister has kids so easily and we can’t even have one, especially since she is 5 years younger.

All that said, there also are strange things with the cycle.  

1.  I only have two follicles this time that are growing on day 6.
2.  One is already 17.5mm - which from what I understand is way too early on day 6 - but the others aren’t there yet.
3.  My cycle came a week early making me feel emotionally like it was working and then failed.
4.  Good news is that my lining is doing really well.
5.  I have a monitoring visit on Christmas Eve and may have it on Christmas Day.  This is stressing us both out - and my husband was less on board with doing it over Christmas, so there is a bit of tension.

All in all, I’m not feeling so great right now.  (Apologies if it seems like I’m whining.  I’m just not feeling strong enough lately).

I’ve been lurking this week and am cheering you all on!  I just haven’t felt up to participating a lot directly this week up until now.

krash_

@misshelen86 getting me all excited posting in the grad thread to congratulate the other grads! It will be you soon! 

@acleverusername ha! Don’t feel sheepish. I wish my clinic was open for monitoring on weekends but it seems like they make it work since they are basically controlling everyones cycles. My clinic had a fertility therapist they recommended so I should contact them. 

@keikilove I’m sorry to hear about your dr. GL with your natural FET!
@laura-kay that would be incredibly stressful and your feelings about your sister are totally valid. Just try to embrace the chaos, make sure to step away when you need to, and don’t worry about the little stuff. No one is going to care if your house is perfectly clean. 

AFM, I had my monitoring u/s this morning. No follies on the right and one 21mm on the left. I wish there were more than one but at least it’s on my open side. Likely triggering tonight and hopefully TI before we leave for Christmas so we don’t have to do it at my Dad’s house. 

Q: I know everyone has mixed feelings on drinking while TTC but after all this work it seems like I shouldn’t potentially risk it by having a drink but I also haven’t been drinking much at all and might like to have a couple glasses of wine at Christmas. So do you drink while doing medicated cycles or IF treatments? 

acleverusername

@keikilove we must have been posting at roughly the same time last night; I saw your tags and thought "she's probably writing her update now". I am so sorry to hear about the LIT doctor. That is VERY tragic given your personal connection to the doctor. ☹️ I haven't done any transfer, but I'll happily share everything I learned from The Egg Whisperer! (In fact I just live-chatted her that exact question "which do you prefer, natural or medicated" which she answered. I can dig up her response if you'd like.)

@laura-kay I'm sorry you're having a challenging time right now; does your family know of your struggles to conceive? Your feelings are perfectly natural. Even with your family, try and carve out some "me" time. We're always here for you. (Small bit of advice about the forum... it's always better to put any mention of children, even not your own, in a spoiler with a TW, as it gives readers the option to read or not to read given the trigger warning.)

@krash_ yay for that 21mm follie on the left side! It's truly perfect. I do always feel a bit of a let down when only 1 dominant follicle grows, so I understand how you're feeling. But, hopefully the fact that it's on your "good" side is the magic trick you'll need. I have a good feeling about this cycle for you. HIO away! 

Regarding drinking while TTC, like many ppl here, I've basically given up on drinking. But, I did have a couple of glasses of wine at Thanksgiving, and I intend to have a couple at Christmas. At this point, not drinking hasn't helped me get pregnant so I've decided that I'm going to stop feeling guilty every time I do something that makes me 98% healthy instead of 99.9% healthy ('cause Lord knows that there's always something more we can do to be healthy). But, it is a constant internal struggle for me, and it's 100% an individual decision. That said, if we end up doing IVF, I will not drink. 

optimisticoctopus

Thanks to everyone for the IVF input!! It already made me feel less overwhelmed that I was earlier this week about that potential path. I definitely want to do at least one more IUI, if not two with the new protocol but then might start looking in the direction of IVF. BUT also thanks to everyone for the positive vibes, I’m definitely feeling really hopeful for this cycle. 

@acleverusername FX for more than one follie for you this time around!!

@keikilove I’m so sorry to hear about your doctor! That is just awful. 

@laura-kay your stress is completely understandable, as are your feelings about your sister and your cycle. Try to stay positive!!

@krash_ GL with the trigger and TI! Honestly, I usually abstain from drinking during the TWW, but I do plan on having a glass of wine at dinner on Christmas Eve. I figure if this cycle doesn’t work out for me, I would still feel comfortable saying that the wine had nothing to do with it. I just know I’ll feel so much more “normal” if I have a drink with my family.

laura-kay

@acleverusername Thanks for the advice about the TW.  It didn’t cross my mind at the time, but I edited it to give the TW

laura-kay

We are scheduled to have monitoring Christmas morning - which is stressful for us.  It also isn’t going well with the estradiol this time.  It was triple the amount the first round.  They said that my one follicle is pretty much ready but my estradiol and all follicles are pretty much resting right now and not growing.  We are at a tough spot.  If we have another monitoring visit on the day after Christmas, it will likely cause more tension.  Meanwhile we have 8 people who we need to host, and I just don’t really want to be around people right now, except my husband.  We already are stressed with hosting large groups, especially considering things like what I said above in the trigger spoiler.  I’d like us to just have a good Christmas Eve.

acleverusername

@laura-kay that sounds like a real tough situation. Obviously this is a non-contextualized advice, but what would you lose by walking away from this cycle? I know the medications cost a pretty penny, so that's always a tough pill to swallow. But it sounds to me like everything about this cycle is non-ideal so forging ahead might be a worse idea. The impact of your and your couple's mental, physical and emotional state could potentially have a negative effect on the cycle. Like I said, it's hard to give advice when I'm not living what you're going through, but I know that "sunken cost" concept sometimes prevents us from doing the right thing. Just listen to your heart/gut. And don't forget to be kind to yourself. 

acleverusername

(the "tough pill to swallow" pun was unintended, but funny/appropriate on re-reading.) 

acleverusername

Me right now vis-a-vis Grad thread... anyone else?