FFFC 11/27

szwill86

Any post-Thanksgiving flames? 

szwill86

I actually didn’t mind not seeing my family for Thanksgiving. My Mom socially distance-dropped off food at my house, my husband was working, it was just myself and my 3 yr old in jammies all day with nothing to do/nowhere to go. Facetime was enough family interaction for me. 

mdfarmchick

31 weeks Monday. I am over pants officially. I almost cried trying to put them on this week. 😒

PinkKathryn12

@mdfarmchick boycott pants!

PinkKathryn12

I’m a day late but my husband texted my SIL for ideas for his parents for Christmas because she and my BIL and their two kids live with his parents. She literally had the audacity to suggest a new laptop! Nothing against his parents but like how much does she think extra money we have to spend on Christmas. It’s grinds my gears because since they live with his parents they don’t have mortgage or rent or like any bills basically and buy the biggest best of everything and even before they moved in with them they lived in his parents rental house rent free. I’m like... we both have to take unpaid leave when the baby comes, and we need a new car, and we have a bunch of stuff
PLUS it isn’t like his parents and his family buys anyone crazy gifts like last year i got like 30$ gc and something small with it (which I’m not complaining about that’s like a normal gift to me —- and my budget!)

hannahbananas11

@PinkKathryn12 We ran into that issue before, but not so extreme. We now set a budget whenever we do joint gifts. Or, if we want to buy something for someone that's more expensive than usual, we do it ourselves and don't rope anyone else into helping pay for it. That's annoying that your SIL doesn't have a clue that other people might have a different gift budget than her. Puts y'all in an awkward situation of having to explain that to her.

My FFFC (well, I guess actually more like FFSC): I bought a box of truffles for my parents' Christmas box (I like to add candies as filler around the gifts in the shipping box), and I ate them all.

PinkKathryn12

@hannahbananas11 yeah I’m all for getting them something nice but we budget very specifically so if you don’t ask us ahead or anything we don’t just have extra lying around! Oyye 


also that sounds delicious! Haha no judgement from this mama

WildMagelet

@mdfarmchick boo pants. 

@PinkKathryn12 big yikes on the ILs. 

@hannahbananas11 If it makes you feel better, I defrosted a cheesecake for SDs birthday this week - we didn’t eat any for dessert that night but I’ve been indulging plenty since then instead of refreezing, lol

My FFSC - We announced on social media (finally), and inevitably there just HAD to be one comment that just grinds my gears (I was good and just said “Thank you” and moved on)


It really rubs me the wrong way when people discount non-bio familial relationships. I know plenty of step-, adopted-, foster-, etc. parents that get these weird little jabs all the time, like somehow they aren’t “”real parents”” for not sharing chromosomes with their kids.  Considering the source, I’m a bit baffled because they regularly preach adoption (to the point of insulting people who are adamant about having biokids). Oh well.

moguippy

@PinkKathryn12 eek. We have friends who’s dad bought their house (so no mortgage) and paid for his college (so no student loans) and he makes $$$ but somehow they always complain about having no money bc they blow it on dumb stuff. It’s tough when I’m like, I put a $10.76 pack of chicken back bc I saw one that was $10.22 lol. 

No judgement here on the sweets intake. There is a lot of that happening over here. Just finished a piece of leftover pie

@WildMagelet I feel like those comments are never well received. Like, I know they probably meant it well, but, why can’t they just say congrats?   I know tons of stepparents who are awesome and are so so so much more of a parent than the bio parent. It also leaves a sour taste in my mouth as someone who struggled with fertility and loss. Idk. Like I had to wait longer to “get” to be a mom unlike everyone else. Idk. Maybe I’m just hormonal. 

WildMagelet

@moguippy - I feel the same way. It was a long journey for us to conceive for our loss, and even longer for this one, but that doesn’t negate the relationship I’ve had with my husband’s kids and their kid sister the past  14 years.  This person has made plenty of comments in the past on their own timeline (paired with positive posts about adoption) that have felt like a smack in the face as someone dealing with IF. Like this jewel, which I’ll throw behind a spoiler tag because some might find it triggering:

jumpy57

@WildMagelet why do people post crap like that 🙄😒

tamalahoops

@WildMagelet oooooooooooooh boy do I hate people like this. My brother made that comment to my face while we were on the early process of infertility treatment. Adoption is HARD and EXPENSIVE and very much not for everyone. On average there are 30 hopeful adoptive parents waiting for every 1 infant adopted in the us. There is not some overwhelming need for adoptive families of infants. 

moguippy

@WildMagelet @tamalahoops we looked into adoption when we were having trouble conceiving. It has always been in the cards for us. Private/international adoption is very expensive and difficult. Adoption through foster care can be very difficult. It’s not like you just sign up and someone gives you a kid. We have friends who were still paying off the loan they took out to adopt their daughter 10+ years later.