Anyone in this boat? Advice needed

krystalhawke

Hi ladies. I’m new here.... I just found out I’m pregnant with baby number 4 and it’s not under ideal circumstances whatsoever. I was married for 6 years and separated from my ex about a year and a half ago. Our children stay with me for a week and dad for a week. I decided to start dating again as of recently during the weeks I don’t have my children. Now this is where I ask for no judgment please. I began being sexual with 2 men. The one man is a coworker and we have been having protective sex for a few months but we are only friends with benefits and we both agreed to these terms. It was going smoothly. One night the condom slipped off inside me. The other partner I was sexual with was a drunken one night and we were both idiots. I should have made him where a condom because he did something I didn’t expect him too. Let’s just say he didn’t pull out. I’ve done a lot of thinking. I know very well that I will be raising this baby on my own. I’m in a good place I’m my life... I have a career, a vehicle and I’m financially stable. I spoke to these two men and both don't want a child which I already knew. One is a lot more supportive of my choice to keep the baby so at least I have his support in that aspect even though he won’t be involved. I never thought I would be in this situation.... not knowing who the father is. I am ready but scared. Is anyone in a similar situation or has been and can give me some advice or encouraging words. I pray I’m making the right decision. I just can’t go through with an abortion. I did want another baby eventually but wasn’t planning on this being the situation. I’m sorry I’m rambling....so much on my mind. I hope that I can get through this. I really do.

paytonpedro

krystalhawke said:

Hi ladies. I’m new here.... I just found out I’m pregnant with baby number 4 and it’s not under ideal circumstances whatsoever. I was married for 6 years and separated from my ex about a year and a half ago. Our children stay with me for a week and dad for a week. I decided to start dating again as of recently during the weeks I don’t have my children. Now this is where I ask for no judgment please. I began being sexual with 2 men. The one man is a coworker and we have been having protective sex for a few months but we are only friends with benefits and we both agreed to these terms. It was going smoothly. One night the condom slipped off inside me. The other partner I was sexual with was a drunken one night and we were both idiots. I should have made him where a condom because he did something I didn’t expect him too. Let’s just say he didn’t pull out. I’ve done a lot of thinking. I know very well that I will be raising this baby on my own. I’m in a good place I’m my life... I have a career, a vehicle and I’m financially stable. I spoke to these two men and both don't want a child which I already knew. One is a lot more supportive of my choice to keep the baby so at least I have his support in that aspect even though he won’t be involved. I never thought I would be in this situation.... not knowing who the father is. I am ready but scared. Is anyone in a similar situation or has been and can give me some advice or encouraging words. I pray I’m making the right decision. I just can’t go through with an abortion. I did want another baby eventually but wasn’t planning on this being the situation. I’m sorry I’m rambling....so much on my mind. I hope that I can get through this. I really do.

Qfp

 But also, along with the other two choices you mentioned, there is also adoption. It does sound like you’re pretty set. Best of luck with everything!

meggyme

krystalhawke said:

Hi ladies. I’m new here.... I just found out I’m pregnant with baby number 4 and it’s not under ideal circumstances whatsoever. I was married for 6 years and separated from my ex about a year and a half ago. Our children stay with me for a week and dad for a week. I decided to start dating again as of recently during the weeks I don’t have my children. Now this is where I ask for no judgment please. I began being sexual with 2 men. The one man is a coworker and we have been having protective sex for a few months but we are only friends with benefits and we both agreed to these terms. It was going smoothly. One night the condom slipped off inside me. The other partner I was sexual with was a drunken one night and we were both idiots. I should have made him where a condom because he did something I didn’t expect him too. Let’s just say he didn’t pull out. I’ve done a lot of thinking. I know very well that I will be raising this baby on my own. I’m in a good place I’m my life... I have a career, a vehicle and I’m financially stable. I spoke to these two men and both don't want a child which I already knew. One is a lot more supportive of my choice to keep the baby so at least I have his support in that aspect even though he won’t be involved. I never thought I would be in this situation.... not knowing who the father is. I am ready but scared. Is anyone in a similar situation or has been and can give me some advice or encouraging words. I pray I’m making the right decision. I just can’t go through with an abortion. I did want another baby eventually but wasn’t planning on this being the situation. I’m sorry I’m rambling....so much on my mind. I hope that I can get through this. I really do.

I haven’t been in this situation but you seem to be in a very good place in your life to be able to make this decision compared to a lot of the other whoopsie posts that end up here. What exactly are you looking for advice on?

The only thing I can offer is to document your communication with both men so that you have it in the event there is a paternity dispute, regardless of which man is the father or their supportive-ness. They are also responsible, at least financially, no matter how they feel about that fact.

harpseal135

They do the deed, they can pay the price too.  It takes a penis and a vagina to create human life - and they are as responsible as you.  I would demand a DNA test and whether they want the child or not, financially they should be responsible for that aspect. 

If they don't want the responsibility then don't agree to be friends with benefits and have sex, and don't have drunken sex and be surprised when he "did something i didn't expect him to do "

Sorry, but you do the deed you face the consequences, too. NOT JUST THE WOMAN!