@carehuff not that I know of, but I went into labor 3 weeks early and it was FAST... 7 cm by the time I got to the hospital, 9 cm by the time I was admitted. Makes me wonder if I had started dilating much earlier..
@Lexibizzel and @carehuff my doctor did the cervix check for risk of preterm labor as well. They never did with my first but I’m also going to a high risk doctor this time so I’m guessing they’re just very thorough. I was so confused why I needed my pants/underwear off for the anatomy scan.
And thank you @bbrahmbhatt@BuckeyeNut05 and @emeraldisle17, that all sounds much more manageable! I can deal with a planned c section if needed, it’s more scary complications I was afraid of.
I had my anatomy scan this morning! Everything looks right on track and all the measurements were great. Everything is accounted for and where it should be ❤️ They were slightly concerned by the baby’s heartbeat because it was a bit irregular. She explained that that’s not super common at this time in pregnancy, so I got a referral to a high risk doctor. They’ll do a more in depth ultrasound there just to see what’s going on. It’s not an anatomical issue with the heart - all of the chambers and everything look right, just the heartbeat itself was irregular. So I’m waiting to get a call from them to make that appointment. I’m nervous, but she also said it could be nothing, so I’m trying to run with that.
And it’s a boy!! 💙 I’m so excited to have a little boy to keep the girls on their toes 😍
ETA: add me to the anterior placenta club! So that explains my lack of kicks so far.
@bblair24 yay for a boy to add to your girl tribe! Sending good thoughts that everything will be completely normal! Also, I feel like half of us are in the anterior placenta club!
@forevertired I think sometimes OBs sort of just say what they see and it can sound more scary than it is. I didn’t have placenta previa myself, but I’ve known several women who did and some had it resolve before delivery time, but others just did the c section route. But when the doctor doesn’t always explain it fully it can lead the mind to wander down the scariest of possibilities!
With my first DS I had some complications where he was very small and they kept telling me he was only measuring at about 8 percentile. It made me feel better weeks later when one of them reassured me, average size is between 40-60 or 35-65 percentile. So yes he was small, but he was 92% smaller than the average baby. But it took weeks of talking about the risks and complications for someone to say that to me which definitely helped! Hopefully your next appointment you can ask some extra questions and go over any concerns you might have regarding it.
@bblair24 yay for a boy! Hopefully your girls will be excited for a baby brother!
I had my 16-week appointment today and it was quick and uneventful, yay! I was relieved to hear the heartbeat because I had thought I felt movement for a week or so and then nothing since... I mean, who knows if what I even felt was movement, but being the paranoid person I am, I was convinced something was wrong. And I'm excited because my anatomy scan will be on Dec. 7th which is sooner than I thought!
@bblair24 yay for a boy! So exciting! Glad you are getting that checked out but also so great that anatomically it all looks good- so reassuring I'm sure
Had my anatomy scan today - baby is perfect and healthy BUT I’m 99.9% sure that the doctor accidentally gave away the sex of the baby!! DH and I were firmly Team Green and I feel pretty confidently that doctor said the sex and then when I had a little freak out, he backpeddled and said I misheard him.
At the end of the day, he would not admit that he said it, so there’s still some uncertainty there, butttt when the baby’s born, if it’s what I think he said, I’m going to feel like we weren’t surprised at all. I’m probably being unreasonably upset, but I’m upset nonetheless.
@theblondebump, oh no! Hopefully it was just habit. When I was pregnant with DD1 way back in 1996, that hospital policy was not to reveal the sex. (Like literally every woman was Team Green!) The MFM referred to her as both he several times, and she once at the end. I think it's just our need to assign a sex to something, rather than say It.
@theblondebump at the end of my pregnancy with DS, after 38 successful weeks of being team green and no one spilling the beans our OB gave it away when talking about induction the next week. She tried to cover it up at the final check up before scheduling induction, but it was no use. I will say that even though her slip left basically no question, I did still feel the excitement and surprise when he was born because there was no official confirmation of baby's sex. Fingers crossed you experience the same in the end.
On a similar note, we are team green as well and I am 99% sure I accidentally saw baby's gender on the ultrasound. The tech knew I didn't to know, and never said anything about what she was looking at besides head, heart, brain, etc. but never told me to look away at any point and she quickly scanned over what looked like the "potty shot" twice and I'm almost certain I know what I saw. I was bummed the rest of the day, but in the end it's not much different than when DS's sex was spilled, so without the absolute confirmation it'll still be a bit of a surprise.
Thank you @mamabee1113 - that actually makes me feel a little better.
This is more of the full story. DH and I are both really obsessive about telling all doctors, technicians, etc. that we don't want to know the sex because we both really really wanted to be surprised. Nurses come into the room and one of us obnoxiously blurts out, "We don't want to know the sex!!" and the nurse is like, um okay that's fine I'm just here to take your temperature. HAHA.
Then, at the anatomy scan, there were two technicians doing the scan - apparently baby was very comfortable right up against my uterine wall and it was making some of the images difficult to capture. We told both technicians about not wanting to know the gender and there were times that both asked us to look around because they were going in the "gender region." During the last few minutes, one of the technicians kept referring to the baby as "he" but I feel like the doctors/techs do that sometimes, just out of simplicity to not have to keep saying "the baby" and just randomly say he or she without really meaning it. I distinctly remember another time that a tech said "she" so I wouldn't give much weight to that.
But then, the doctor came in. Our big ultrasounds and lab tests are done at a separate office from our regular OB, they are done at a maternal fetal medicine office. So this was a doctor I'd never seen before and isn't part of our practice or anything. It threw me off for a second when he came in because my ob office is all females (and I specifically chose that on purpose) and this doctor was a male. He came into the room, which was pretty small, and he was still standing. He basically jumped right into things without any pleasantries. I expected him to initiate some little bit of small talk like ask how I was feeling or something, or AT LEAST SIT DOWN, so I didn't immediately bombard him with "We don't want to know the sex!!!" because he hadn't even sat down yet, he was still standing by the door. And to me, I distinctly heard, "Everything looks great. It's a boy." And I physically recoiled and shut my eyes for a good 5 full seconds. And I said, we didn't want to know the sex. And he said, sorry? I didn't say the sex. And I said, I thought I heard you just say, it's a boy. And he was like, no no I was about to tell you that it was hard for us to view some of the parts we wanted to see today, but that's doesn't mean there's anything wrong. And then blah blah blah he went on and told us more about how everything measured fine and was healthy etc. I couldn't focus on anything else other than that I was very positive that I heard him say "It's a boy" but then he totally denied it and acted like he didn't say it. I didn't want to freak out and make a huge deal or push it any more in front of the doctor. When he left the room, I asked my husband, didn't you hear the same thing? And he was like I honestly don't know, you guys sort of talked over each other and I'm not sure what I heard. I made him promise he wasn't just placating me to try to maintain the surprise, lol, and he said he really did not confidently hear it was a boy, but he thought the whole thing was SUPER weird and that the doctor acted extremely awkwardly.
I wanted to call the doctor back in and be like, listen, just tell me if you said it, because now if we end up having a boy, even if this doctor didn't actually say anything, I'm going to feel like the surprise was ruined and I already feel in my mind now that it's a boy. I was hoping he would say something that would convince me like, the ultrasound techs told me you didn't want to know the sex, I definitely wouldn't have said it. BUT, at the end of the day, it's not like I'm 100% positive. I feel confident in what I heard, but it's not like he confirmed it either way - I mean I certainly don't feel confident enough to go decorate a blue nursery or something haha. So I decided to not push it any further because I technically still don't know for sure, and that's better than him admitting he spilled the beans and then actually knowing for sure.
DH pointed out last night that if I did misunderstand what the doctor said and we end up having a girl, it will actually be the biggest surprise ever, haha. We had talked about being surprised for the first baby and finding out the sex for future babies, and I told DH last night that since this one was now tainted, I now also wanted to be surprised for the next one and do a better job of telling everyone obsessively that I don't want to know. And he agreed haha.
But like you said @mamabee1113 I'm hoping that when the moment the baby is born and we find out, it's still going to feel like some kind of surprise to officially have confirmation of the sex. So thank you for sharing that with me! (And of course, I know that when the baby is born, I'll just be happy to hopefully have a healthy baby and the birth of our child will be exciting enough, etc. BUT still we've gone 21 weeks without knowing and I really wanted to be surprised, so I'm just mourning this a little).
If anyone has actually read all the way to the bottom of this, wow, you ladies are very kind haha!
@theblondebump so sorry you had that experience!! And what a rude bedside manner of that doctor, he should totally know better - on several fronts. Ultimately, you weren't TOLD and you didn't read on a piece of paper with your own eyes that it was a boy...so it's still not 100%. We had a similar experience with our first - we were both vehemently team green. At the anatomy scan the tech had us divert our eyes when she went 'down there', etc. everything went great. Then it gets to the end of the scan and by then we'd been there for over 40 mins, and DH was buried into his phone looking at work emails while I was just staring blankly at the screen, and the tech switches the screen view to what looked like an 'info' screen and for a split second i was starting at the word 'FEMALE' before she quickly switched the screen back. I immediately looked over at DH who had his face in his phone and definitely didn't see anything. I went back and forth in my head about whether or not to say anything - out loud or to DH privately later. I immediately jumped on my Bump month board where lots of people were telling me that they were ultrasound techs, and I was probably just looking at my own gender info, etc etc. I was still suspicious based on how quickly she moved away from the screen. I decided to keep what I saw to myself and try to forget about it.
Fast forward 5 months and we're in the delivery room and I'm getting induced early because the baby is very small - and I was hammering the head nurse with questions about IUGR and if my kid would be small forever. And she replied with something like "oh, just tell her she's small because she's special" - and immediately moved on to something else and tried to cover it up but honestly we both kinda blacked out when she said that. Fast forward several hours delivering the baby and we had planned it out for DH to shout "it's a ...!" and of course they pull her out with her back to DH so I get the first view of the nether region - surprisingly or not so surprisingly, it was a girl, lol. BUT it was still THE most amazing day of both of our lives and you quickly forget about the surprise element because you are literally consumed with everything about meeting this new little person for the first time. You still have no idea what he/she will look like, whether they will be bald/have a ton of hair, chubby with rolls or like a skinny cone headed alien like DD, lol.
I don't know if that helped at all but try not to think or stress about it! We did find out the sex this time around (though DH wanted to be team green again!) and we are having a boy. It's been so fun to shop the black Friday sales for little whale and sailboat onesies. It was fun not knowing, but it's also been fun knowing.
@theblondebump, to add to what the others said, at 38w with DD1, I was leaking fluid so they did a scan to see how much fluid was in there. They plopped the wand on my tummy and BOOM, sex slightly revealed. But, you know, it still didn't matter. I'd made it through weeks of not knowing, had a green and yellow baby shower, and we still couldn't be sure due to the angle and lie of the cord, so it was still a total thrill when out she popped and we heard, And we have a GIRL!!!
Even with my two boys, whom I knew the sex due to genetic testing (and on DS2 we caught a glimpse of his very defined and LARGE twig and berries at 39w!) it was a total thrill to hear them say "And a Boy!" Plus, it's always a thrill. You don't know how much hair they'll have, or the color, or what eyes they'll have. It's a blast all the way.
Pro tip... Definitely don't plan your nursery or shower around a slip from the Dr. My BFF went through her whole pregnancy based on a slip like that and had a ton of pink stuff... And had a boy.
@theblondebump and @mamabee1113 I’m so sorry you both had (maybe) slips and accidentally saw or found out. That is one of my fears, too! The girl who does my hair made it until right before her c-section and the anesthesiologist let it slip. I would be so disappointed.
@theblondebump I SO understand exactly how you feel. My OB unmistakably spilled the beans, but it was somehow still a surprise. Long story short- three weeks before my due date my fundal height continued to measure HUGE so we did a growth scan to check estimates. He measured 2wk ahead from the anatomy scan on and he was measured nearly 2.5wks ahead on that day. My OB came in and took a look for herself instead of taking the tech's word for it and then talked to us about potential risks of inducing too early and how "caucasian males" tend to have more issues than others when going through an induction. Immediately DH caught it and as soon as we left he said "its a boy.. she told us its a boy" and I was in denial, like "nooooo, she just said that because IF it is a boy, there are risks as opposed to if it's a girl. She wants us to be informed." LOL After over 15hrs of labor at 39wks, I was still surprised when DH announced "its a boy!"
I fully understand the disappointment, especially since its your first and everythingggg is extra special with your first. But my H said the same thing as your H: if it ends up being a girl it'll be the biggest surprise ever! You still dont *know* with full certainty, so there is still an element of surprise there. And if it is a boy you can just tell your H "I told you so!!!" lol
@theblondebump my heart broke a little reading your story, BUT like the others have said it still isn't confirmed. There's still this feeling of "is it or isnt it" and I hope that that is enough to keep you and DH on your toes and guessing right up until the big reveal. It sounds like your practitioner has an "interesting" bedside manner, so it is hard to know for sure. Isn't it amazing how much in pregnancy is out of our control, and the things that we should be able to control still get out of our control? I hope that you guys feel so much love, excitement and surprise when your little bundle arrives and that this story will become something that you will tell your child about and laugh
I had my appointment yesterday; the OB said that my blood pressure looks great, my weight looks great (I was expecting to be lectured, so that was a big relief) and baby girl's heart rate is right on target. She also found the heartbeat right away, which was also a relief. But when I was telling her about my sudden urge to urinate the other day she said it sounded like Braxton-Hicks. For all the STM+, should I be worried? She didn't seem worried, and my research seems like as long as they are irregular that its normal.
@theblondebump I read your story yesterday and kept trying to think of what your doctor might have said that wasn't "It's a boy" but could have sounded like it! I mean, it's totally possible with masks and everything that he truly didn't say it and maybe you were so afraid of hearing the sex that you thought you heard it. That's what I would tell myself, anyway!
BTW, one of my OBs has the same exact bedside manner as the one you saw. There are four doctors in the practice and I told my husband, "I really hope he's not the one who delivers our baby." He didn't ask how I was feeling, introduce himself or anything, and it was my first time meeting him. Strange for an OB who constantly meets excited pregnant ladies.
@bbrahmbhatt sounds totally normal to me, I’m having them too! If they start to feel too regular for a long period of time try drinking some water and laying on your left side.
@theblondebump I’m so sorry that all sounds frustrating. I hope you and your DH can shake it off and just be excited for baby to be born and celebrate the good parts of the exam! But you are entitled to your feelings too, so vent away if you need to!
I had an appointment with anatomy scan yesterday. Found out we are on team pink. I have a lot of mixed feelings about it that I didn’t know I had until the tech said it’s a girl. I’m sure I will adjust to it soon, but I’m such a boy mom! However this little girl is definitely going to hold her own and not let her big brothers rule. The tech had so much trouble getting measurements because she would just not stop swinging her arms, running and turning her head. But she decided to stay back outwards and her left arm curled up so they couldn’t see the heart chambers as well as they wanted. I go back in four weeks for another one so they can hopefully see it better. They also want to do another growth check because she’s measuring pretty small and not quite to the 6th percentile. It was a little disappointing to hear because I’ve already been down this path with small babies as DS1 had IUGR and DS2 was SGA. I was mostly hoping they would say looks like baby is in the 40th percentile because that would just be amazing to hear just once.
IUGR means inter uterine growth restriction, so usually it means baby is low weight and in the tenth percentile or lower, but also shows delayed growth in development. DS1 had it and it was mostly his lungs that were under-developing. So when he was born I got to hold him for like ten seconds and then he was immediately taken from me because he couldn’t breathe well and I didn’t get to hold him again until four days later. But this time it seems scarier. 10th percentile is usually when they start to do extra checks and monitoring, and from what I remember with DS1 and from what my OB told me yesterday 5th percentile is where it can get scary for the docs too. She told me yesterday that a radiologist will be reviewing the ultrasound and with my history of having a baby with IUGR already they might just go ahead and recommend I see a specialist now and not wait for the second ultrasound in four weeks, or they might just wait and see where she is in four weeks before sending me, but to not be surprised if they have me see someone else in addition to going somewhere else for a more in depth ultrasound. But regardless to just know she will be treating this as a high risk pregnancy again and be closely monitoring her weight and be doing extra checks on her and I and we will just take it appointment by appointment. Often times with IUGR they end up inducing early because some part of baby isn’t developing well enough and they can’t do much to help inside but they can if baby is outside. But it’s a situation they watch closely to decide rate of survival outside and how long can they let me stay pregnant. I just hate when they say things like “well if we induce this week we have a 70% chance of survival, let’s have you come back tomorrow and check the heart rate again and see if we can delay one more week, next week our odds go up to 75%.” I know that they are just saying facts but it’s not easy to hear as the mom who feels like I’m failing at being pregnant. It was just so hard to go through once and I was wanting to avoid it again but I guess not. Sorry for the long rant, just wished for a better more happy ultrasound.
@bbrahmbhatt I had insane BH with my first from about 30wk on. With this one, I started getting them a week or two ago. Irregular, inconsistent, short, and changing with change in activity are all indicators of BH over early labor. My BH with my first even got fairly consistent, but would always stop at some point and never intensified. Totally normal from as early as 16wk according to my OB.
@theletlers big hugs to you, mama. Take comfort in knowing you are doing everything you can for your babies, but sometimes our bodies betray us. It sounds like your OB is on top of it and wants to keep things as safe for you and baby as possible.
@theletlers I'm sorry, that is scary and stressful. Sounds like you have a great OB, and will see the specialists that you need to see. Prayers that they are able to to get better measurements at the next scan!
@pelorunningmama extra ultrasounds and seeing DS1 and DS2 growing inside was definitely a perk with high risk pregnancies. I just wish I was better at growing babies. With my old OB, one of them was already an MFM specialist so I never had to go elsewhere. But we moved since then so this is a whole new practice and seems like anything more than basic extra monitoring means seeing two different doctors. I guess I will just wait a few weeks before I let myself freak out too much, lol!
First time mommas remember in any possible future pregnancies: you might have experience with it but every baby feels different and it’s okay to not know it all just because you had a baby already. It’s totally okay to freak out about something even if it’s happened before or it didn’t happen last time!
@theletlers, agree 100 percent with everything you said. I loved all the extra ultrasounds for being high risk, and my previous MFM was really sweet and kind, making it feel like you mattered. I'm at a different MFM now, and I usually feel like I'm just a bother (and I'm a non question asking patient). I'm about to ask for a referral to the other one. And lord knows, 4 pregnancies in, I still freak out when stuff doesn't go according to the texts books!
Had my anatomy scan today. Baby looks good, confirmed it’s still a boy, and he’s definitely moving around in there but add another anterior placenta to the group which explains why I haven’t really felt much yet. My blood pressure was high though, so that sucks. I didn’t have HBP with either of my others so hopefully today was just a fluke. Probably caused by having to leave the kids with my ILs to go to the appointment...or DHs constant talking driving me up the wall. They aren’t doing anything and didn’t make me do any sort of additional testing today, so guess it’s just fingers crossed it’s back to normal next time.
@theletlers I am so sorry you are going through that. You are not failing as a mama; you're doing everything you can for this little lady, just like with your boys. Sending you big hugs and positive thoughts
@theletlers I'm so sorry about the growth stress. Sometimes bodies do what bodies do, and it sucks that we can't control them like we want to. Thinking of you and sending positive vibes for a good check up scan in a few weeks.
We went to the hospital today for my follow up ultrasound to check on little guy’s irregular heartbeat. All good things this morning! The tech did a long ultrasound and then the doctor came in and also did a quick ultrasound. Neither of them heard or saw anything concerning, so we don’t have to go back! The doctor said any number of things could have made the heartbeat seem irregular at my AS, including if I had chocolate that day or if the baby wiggled away at the wrong time. That seems highly likely because this little guy is super active and uncooperative during ultrasounds. 😂 It just blows my mind to see him move so much because I’m still not feeling a whole lot, thanks to my anterior placenta.
Anyways, everything looked and sounded perfect. We’re so relieved!
I feel like my new hospital is weird. I already had the glucose test at 15 weeks, which was awful, but I passed. Then I was told that they won't do an anatomy scan until 21 weeks. So we have 18 more days to wait, I hate surprises and want to stop calling baby, "baby" or "it" 😂
@theletlers I'm sorry for the extra stress right now. I hope she can stay cooking and grow as much as possible.
I'm also high risk (for other reasons) and looking at now changing all care to perinatology instead of working mostly with my regular OB with extra growth scrans and NSTs and seeing MFM as needed. It's stressful, especially with everything else going on.
@theletlers I'm so sorry for the added stress! But know the more guidance and observation by specialized docs, the better the outcomes. I am a STM and my first was unexplained IUGR, so I'm now super familiar with all the stats you mention. With DD they didn't flag it as a concern at my anatomy scan, but I had a growth scan at 36 weeks due to small fundal height and they were like OH this is a small baby, around 10th percentile. They had me come back in for a scan at 38 weeks and she had dropped to 7th percentile and so they sent me the next day to be induced at almost 39 weeks. She was small at 4lbs 12oz, but totally fine! No NICU time or any delays and now she's still smaller on the growth charts (always hovering ~8-10th %) but a happy and healthy 20 month old!
My fingers are crossed this time around that we won't be in the same boat; I'm a little concerned because my anatomy scan isn't until I will be 22 weeks (due to our holiday travel/quarantine time and then the Dr's schedules). So I'll report back if it's looking like i've got another IUGR baby as well.
Curious @theletlers - were you ever given a reason or diagnosis for why your babies are IUGR/SGA? I was frustrated because they made a big deal of it towards the final weeks of my pregnancy and it turned into an urgent need to get the baby out, but then no one (my OB or pediatrician) really mentioned it as a cause for concern after the birth, or gave a reason. They did send my placenta out to be tested for abnormalities but everything came back fine, though it was a smaller placenta. It's frustrating to not know why it happened. I am taking a baby aspirin everyday since my initial appt to increase blood flow to the placenta - so far that's the only additional guidance my OB has given.
@theletlers, my first two babies were just under 8lbs each. The last one was 6lbs 7oz. He was fine for height, but has been low in weight ever since, currently the 3rd percentile at his 9mos checkup. In the ultrasound, they commented he was a little small and the last 7 weeks of pregnancy didn't gain a lot of weight.
No reason for being so much smaller than his siblings was ever determined. He was plenty active, passing all the BPPs and NSTs. His cord flow was fine. His placenta was fine. I had very low weight gain, 12lbs, but even that was waived off. He was never diagnosed IUGR or SGA, but he hovered on the line, and there was a little concern since the other two were so much larger. They finally just decided he wasn't going to be Big Kid in the playground.
Re: November Appointments Thread
ETA: add me to the anterior placenta club! So that explains my lack of kicks so far.
had it resolve before delivery time, but others just did the c section route. But when the doctor doesn’t always explain it fully it can lead the mind to wander down the scariest of possibilities!
On a similar note, we are team green as well and I am 99% sure I accidentally saw baby's gender on the ultrasound. The tech knew I didn't to know, and never said anything about what she was looking at besides head, heart, brain, etc. but never told me to look away at any point and she quickly scanned over what looked like the "potty shot" twice and I'm almost certain I know what I saw. I was bummed the rest of the day, but in the end it's not much different than when DS's sex was spilled, so without the absolute confirmation it'll still be a bit of a surprise.
This is more of the full story. DH and I are both really obsessive about telling all doctors, technicians, etc. that we don't want to know the sex because we both really really wanted to be surprised. Nurses come into the room and one of us obnoxiously blurts out, "We don't want to know the sex!!" and the nurse is like, um okay that's fine I'm just here to take your temperature. HAHA.
Then, at the anatomy scan, there were two technicians doing the scan - apparently baby was very comfortable right up against my uterine wall and it was making some of the images difficult to capture. We told both technicians about not wanting to know the gender and there were times that both asked us to look around because they were going in the "gender region." During the last few minutes, one of the technicians kept referring to the baby as "he" but I feel like the doctors/techs do that sometimes, just out of simplicity to not have to keep saying "the baby" and just randomly say he or she without really meaning it. I distinctly remember another time that a tech said "she" so I wouldn't give much weight to that.
But then, the doctor came in. Our big ultrasounds and lab tests are done at a separate office from our regular OB, they are done at a maternal fetal medicine office. So this was a doctor I'd never seen before and isn't part of our practice or anything. It threw me off for a second when he came in because my ob office is all females (and I specifically chose that on purpose) and this doctor was a male. He came into the room, which was pretty small, and he was still standing. He basically jumped right into things without any pleasantries. I expected him to initiate some little bit of small talk like ask how I was feeling or something, or AT LEAST SIT DOWN, so I didn't immediately bombard him with "We don't want to know the sex!!!" because he hadn't even sat down yet, he was still standing by the door. And to me, I distinctly heard, "Everything looks great. It's a boy." And I physically recoiled and shut my eyes for a good 5 full seconds. And I said, we didn't want to know the sex. And he said, sorry? I didn't say the sex. And I said, I thought I heard you just say, it's a boy. And he was like, no no I was about to tell you that it was hard for us to view some of the parts we wanted to see today, but that's doesn't mean there's anything wrong. And then blah blah blah he went on and told us more about how everything measured fine and was healthy etc. I couldn't focus on anything else other than that I was very positive that I heard him say "It's a boy" but then he totally denied it and acted like he didn't say it. I didn't want to freak out and make a huge deal or push it any more in front of the doctor. When he left the room, I asked my husband, didn't you hear the same thing? And he was like I honestly don't know, you guys sort of talked over each other and I'm not sure what I heard. I made him promise he wasn't just placating me to try to maintain the surprise, lol, and he said he really did not confidently hear it was a boy, but he thought the whole thing was SUPER weird and that the doctor acted extremely awkwardly.
I wanted to call the doctor back in and be like, listen, just tell me if you said it, because now if we end up having a boy, even if this doctor didn't actually say anything, I'm going to feel like the surprise was ruined and I already feel in my mind now that it's a boy. I was hoping he would say something that would convince me like, the ultrasound techs told me you didn't want to know the sex, I definitely wouldn't have said it. BUT, at the end of the day, it's not like I'm 100% positive. I feel confident in what I heard, but it's not like he confirmed it either way - I mean I certainly don't feel confident enough to go decorate a blue nursery or something haha. So I decided to not push it any further because I technically still don't know for sure, and that's better than him admitting he spilled the beans and then actually knowing for sure.
DH pointed out last night that if I did misunderstand what the doctor said and we end up having a girl, it will actually be the biggest surprise ever, haha. We had talked about being surprised for the first baby and finding out the sex for future babies, and I told DH last night that since this one was now tainted, I now also wanted to be surprised for the next one and do a better job of telling everyone obsessively that I don't want to know. And he agreed haha.
But like you said @mamabee1113 I'm hoping that when the moment the baby is born and we find out, it's still going to feel like some kind of surprise to officially have confirmation of the sex. So thank you for sharing that with me! (And of course, I know that when the baby is born, I'll just be happy to hopefully have a healthy baby and the birth of our child will be exciting enough, etc. BUT still we've gone 21 weeks without knowing and I really wanted to be surprised, so I'm just mourning this a little).
If anyone has actually read all the way to the bottom of this, wow, you ladies are very kind haha!
Fast forward 5 months and we're in the delivery room and I'm getting induced early because the baby is very small - and I was hammering the head nurse with questions about IUGR and if my kid would be small forever. And she replied with something like "oh, just tell her she's small because she's special" - and immediately moved on to something else and tried to cover it up but honestly we both kinda blacked out when she said that. Fast forward several hours delivering the baby and we had planned it out for DH to shout "it's a ...!" and of course they pull her out with her back to DH so I get the first view of the nether region - surprisingly or not so surprisingly, it was a girl, lol. BUT it was still THE most amazing day of both of our lives and you quickly forget about the surprise element because you are literally consumed with everything about meeting this new little person for the first time. You still have no idea what he/she will look like, whether they will be bald/have a ton of hair, chubby with rolls or like a skinny cone headed alien like DD, lol.
I don't know if that helped at all but try not to think or stress about it! We did find out the sex this time around (though DH wanted to be team green again!) and we are having a boy. It's been so fun to shop the black Friday sales for little whale and sailboat onesies. It was fun not knowing, but it's also been fun knowing.
Even with my two boys, whom I knew the sex due to genetic testing (and on DS2 we caught a glimpse of his very defined and LARGE twig and berries at 39w!) it was a total thrill to hear them say "And a Boy!" Plus, it's always a thrill. You don't know how much hair they'll have, or the color, or what eyes they'll have. It's a blast all the way.
Pro tip... Definitely don't plan your nursery or shower around a slip from the Dr. My BFF went through her whole pregnancy based on a slip like that and had a ton of pink stuff... And had a boy.
Long story short- three weeks before my due date my fundal height continued to measure HUGE so we did a growth scan to check estimates. He measured 2wk ahead from the anatomy scan on and he was measured nearly 2.5wks ahead on that day. My OB came in and took a look for herself instead of taking the tech's word for it and then talked to us about potential risks of inducing too early and how "caucasian males" tend to have more issues than others when going through an induction. Immediately DH caught it and as soon as we left he said "its a boy.. she told us its a boy" and I was in denial, like "nooooo, she just said that because IF it is a boy, there are risks as opposed to if it's a girl. She wants us to be informed." LOL
After over 15hrs of labor at 39wks, I was still surprised when DH announced "its a boy!"
I fully understand the disappointment, especially since its your first and everythingggg is extra special with your first. But my H said the same thing as your H: if it ends up being a girl it'll be the biggest surprise ever! You still dont *know* with full certainty, so there is still an element of surprise there. And if it is a boy you can just tell your H "I told you so!!!" lol
BTW, one of my OBs has the same exact bedside manner as the one you saw. There are four doctors in the practice and I told my husband, "I really hope he's not the one who delivers our baby." He didn't ask how I was feeling, introduce himself or anything, and it was my first time meeting him. Strange for an OB who constantly meets excited pregnant ladies.
me because he couldn’t breathe well and I didn’t get to hold him again until four days later. But this time it seems scarier. 10th percentile is usually when they start to do extra checks and monitoring, and from what I remember with DS1 and from what my OB told me yesterday 5th percentile is where it can get scary for the docs too. She told me yesterday that a radiologist will
be reviewing the ultrasound and with my history of having a baby with IUGR already they might just go ahead and recommend I see a specialist now and not wait for the second ultrasound in four weeks, or they might just wait and see where she is in four weeks before sending me, but to not be surprised if they have me see someone else in addition to going somewhere else for a more in depth ultrasound. But regardless to just know she will be treating this as a high risk pregnancy again and be closely monitoring her weight and be doing extra checks on her and I and we will just take it appointment by appointment. Often times with IUGR they end up inducing early because some part of baby isn’t developing well enough and they can’t do much to help inside but they can if baby is outside. But it’s a situation they watch closely to decide rate of survival outside and how long can they let me stay pregnant. I just hate when they say things like “well if we induce this week we have a 70% chance of survival, let’s have you come back tomorrow and check the heart rate again and see if we can delay one more week, next week our odds go up to 75%.” I know that they are just saying facts but it’s not easy to hear as the mom who feels like I’m failing at being pregnant. It was just so hard to go through once and I was wanting to avoid it again but I guess not. Sorry for the long rant, just wished for a better more happy ultrasound.
@theletlers big hugs to you, mama. Take comfort in knowing you are doing everything you can for your babies, but sometimes our bodies betray us. It sounds like your OB is on top of it and wants to keep things as safe for you and baby as possible.
and he’s definitely moving around in there but add another anterior placenta to the group which explains why I haven’t really felt much yet. My blood pressure was high though, so that sucks. I didn’t have HBP with either of my others so hopefully today was just a fluke. Probably caused by having to leave the kids with my ILs to go to the appointment...or DHs constant talking driving me up the wall. They aren’t doing anything and didn’t make me do any sort of additional testing today, so guess it’s just fingers crossed it’s back to normal next time.
I'm also high risk (for other reasons) and looking at now changing all care to perinatology instead of working mostly with my regular OB with extra growth scrans and NSTs and seeing MFM as needed. It's stressful, especially with everything else going on.
My fingers are crossed this time around that we won't be in the same boat; I'm a little concerned because my anatomy scan isn't until I will be 22 weeks (due to our holiday travel/quarantine time and then the Dr's schedules). So I'll report back if it's looking like i've got another IUGR baby as well.
Curious @theletlers - were you ever given a reason or diagnosis for why your babies are IUGR/SGA? I was frustrated because they made a big deal of it towards the final weeks of my pregnancy and it turned into an urgent need to get the baby out, but then no one (my OB or pediatrician) really mentioned it as a cause for concern after the birth, or gave a reason. They did send my placenta out to be tested for abnormalities but everything came back fine, though it was a smaller placenta. It's frustrating to not know why it happened. I am taking a baby aspirin everyday since my initial appt to increase blood flow to the placenta - so far that's the only additional guidance my OB has given.
No reason for being so much smaller than his siblings was ever determined. He was plenty active, passing all the BPPs and NSTs. His cord flow was fine. His placenta was fine. I had very low weight gain, 12lbs, but even that was waived off. He was never diagnosed IUGR or SGA, but he hovered on the line, and there was a little concern since the other two were so much larger. They finally just decided he wasn't going to be Big Kid in the playground.