FFFC 10/9

pickle-chips

Flame Free Friday Confession time!* Let it all out!
*flame free not guaranteed

jaztastic

Oh boy... 

One of the biggest drivers for me to keep trying despite of all my struggles is that Im afraid of being alone as an old person. Thats how this works right, have kids and raise them well and that at least one of them will always visit on holidays. 

Maggie1202

@jaztastic in the same vein, my husband is an only child and I’m terrified that his mom (who is in poor health) will want to come live with us at some point. She and I do not get along and, while DH says now that he would not want her to come live with us, I’m terrified that if it came down to it, he would insist on her moving in 😩

inthewoods23

I have been so pleasantly surprised at everybody's respect in this BMB. Having occasionally lurked others over the 2 years I've been using TB I've seen my share of "this is our 3rd oops baby" and "we weren't even trying lol!". Obviously being just a lurker you're in a different mindset than when you're also expecting

I know it's never intended to be hurtful, but it's kind of rubbing it in the face of those that took years, thousands of dollars, and lots of emotional anguish to get here (or never get here sadly). There are people who mention specifically trying so they can have a summer/fall/winter/spring baby, what have you, and boy I'm sure a lot of people wish they had that luxury when TTC!

jaztastic

@maggie1202 ouch... we arent on good terms with my MIL either. Thats a tough situation

mamakate2011

Okay here’s my FFFC, I’m having WAY too much fun bugging the girls over on Baby Center. After what feels like 5,000(!!!!) “do you see a line?!” posts, I’m very straightforward like “nope, I honestly don’t see a line and pregnancy tests are pretty simple devices. If you have to think twice if there is a line, then just assume there isn’t and try the next day”. I’m not being rude, just factual and I refuse to blow smoke up someone’s a** on the internet. MAN, I am getting ATTACKED by these women for not being “supportive” and that I should just “scroll on by” or “delete the app”. I’m sorry, but I’m a grown a** woman and can do what I want on a public forum. Saying the truth and not sugar coating it doesn’t mean I’m not supportive, it means I’m direct...I just wish there weren’t so many unconfident women out there needing SO MUCH validation from strangers. I’ve had my fair share of IF, between treatments, miscarriages and years of negative tests month after month, not once did I ask strangers to decipher a simple test. *steps off soapbox* 🤣

inthewoods23

@mamakate2011 the TTGP board here from time to time is FULL of random people coming in asking to look at their tests or based on symptoms XYZ could they be pregnant. TB board culture does not work that way. It's maddening because then they get mad and bitch at us because we don't answer their question! My favorite part about it is that those lines are so much harder to see in a photo than in person so why the heck do people bother asking?

On TTGP it's a joke that any time we get any randos, especially more than 1 in the same week, that it's because the full moon is coming. It very weirdly lined up that the week with a full moon we'd have multiple people come in and asking if they were pregnant!

Don't even get me started on the people that take them apart.

mamakate2011

@inthewoods23 ugg, I bet! I haven’t been on the TTGP board since 2014 when I was struggling to have my second baby, but man, it was BAD then and also in 2011 when I had my first baby. Some things never change! I was probably what one would say was “nicer” on the boards years ago, but now that I’m older and “wiser” (hahaha), I just can’t handle the BS anymore. It’s like are these people for REAL?!

inthewoods23

@mamakate2011 we've tried multiple approaches when these pop up. We just copy/paste from the guidelines thread that they're supposed to read. And eventually added gifs of baked goods once someone said "hey that's against the TOU (giant blurb of no asking if you're pregnant)". Made the threads less annoying since everyone just posted delicious treats

jaztastic

inthewoods23 said:

I have been so pleasantly surprised at everybody's respect in this BMB. Having occasionally lurked others over the 2 years I've been using TB I've seen my share of "this is our 3rd oops baby" and "we weren't even trying lol!". Obviously being just a lurker you're in a different mindset than when you're also expecting

I know it's never intended to be hurtful, but it's kind of rubbing it in the face of those that took years, thousands of dollars, and lots of emotional anguish to get here (or never get here sadly). There are people who mention specifically trying so they can have a summer/fall/winter/spring baby, what have you, and boy I'm sure a lot of people wish they had that luxury when TTC!

I agree its been pretty good so far. A big breath of fresh air for me who has been mia for about 4yrs. But also probably because if you are due in June and know this early on, you either 1) were definitely trying or 2) were doing IF treatments. I still expect the crazies to come out later in the month. No worries tho, my snark is ready and waiting.