PGAL check-in week 10/8

ramzlau

This thread is for anyone who has experienced loss at any point in pregnancy or experienced the loss of a child. ((Please feel free to share your loss story if you haven’t already.)) Also a general TW (trigger warning) in that previous losses will likely be discussed in this thread.

How far along are you? 

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? 

Any upcoming appointments? 

GTKY: Coffee or tea?

ramzlau

Creating this thread since I noticed quite a few mentions of previous losses. I copied from May BMB, so we can adjust as needed too. 

AFM: I have had 2 losses and one THB. The PGAL freak outs are real and strong this time around for me. Our most recent loss was 1 year ago almost exactly to the day. 

How far along are you? 4+5

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Mentally freaking out. Yesterday all my symptoms disappeared (and still haven't returned), it was mimicking my last MC so much that I had a meltdown. I was sure I was out. So I messaged my RE, and she got me in for a 3rd beta check today. The numbers have more than doubled every 48 hours since my last beta last Friday. So numbers wise it looks like we are good. I am telling myself that despite what my brain is saying, we are good. Mantras and planning for the future are my calming techniques. 

Any upcoming appointments? Ultrasound 10/14

GTKY: Coffee or tea? I switch between them! I prefer coffee but can't drink it every day and can appreciate a good London Fog or Chai. 

sgrn18

How far along are you? 6+2 

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Mentally I think I’m okay right now.  I’m honestly not believing this is real yet.  I’ve got symptoms which is helping lol.  I know when I see this little bean on an US I’ll be okay (well until the next thing to worry about) 

Any upcoming appointments? Oct 20th can’t come fast enough.  It’ll be US and first appt. 

GTKY: Coffee or tea? Coffee 100%.  I love a good cup of coffee.  But to be fair I use a lot of creamer lol 

sgrn18

@ramzlau that positive mindset is hard to find these first few weeks but Today, I am pregnant.  It hard not to look into every little thing like “is this it?”  I hope we’ll all have sticky beans and have very boring 9 months. 

mindyb2019

I've had 2 previous losses. 1 early MC at 7 weeks in Nov 2019 and 1 loss at 16 weeks in July 2020 for T21, cystic hygroma and hydrops fatalis. 

How far along are you? 5 weeks today. 

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Mentally im sh*tting my pants and a hot mess emotionally. Im even more stressed and anxious this 3rd time around. I worry about every little thing but im trying not to. Im trying to stay calm, relaxed and positive. My recent loss was in July so not very long ago at all and all my feeling are still really strong and real. Symptom wise my boobs are a bit tender, im tired, have some slight diziness and headaches here and there and peeing alot. 

Any upcoming appointments? U/S not untill Nov 9th I hope that comes quickly. Beta checks 2x weekly for 4 weeks. That' s what the OB wanted. 

GTKY: Coffee or tea? Tea. I do like coffee  but I dont drink it often cause it makes me sick and upsets my stomach and gives me bad headcahes  

wendy838

Thanks for creating this thread! 

Loss story: We got pregnant in Feb 2020, but didn't realize until end of March 2020 when my period never came. I immediately started taking prenatals and stopped drinking. First week of May, I started spotting and eventually passed it in the hospital a week later. It was traumatizing, especially not being able to have my DH with me (hospital didn't allow anyone except patients).

How far along are you? 5+5

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? My lower back is so sore after leaning forward even just a little bit, like doing dishes or brushing my teeth. My breasts are less sore, it's mainly just the nipples. I am so tired in the early evening that I'll sometimes pass out on the couch. Emotionally and mentally I am freaking out because last time my symptoms completely disappeared and back then I didn't think anything of it. Now I'm zeroing on everything!

Any upcoming appointments? US on Oct 26. I'm trying to get another bloodwork in to check on my betas. 

GTKY: Coffee or tea? I love the smell of fresh coffee grinds, but nowadays I turn to tea more often. 

Edited to add my loss story.

llamamamawearspajamapants

I had a MC in May at 7 weeks, so part of me won’t believe this is real until 8 weeks. I would love to tell someone IRL, this past spring the only people who knew were my two-year old daughter’s daycare (thanks, year-long waitlist for infants!). 

How far along?: 4+6 today

How are you feeling?: mostly good, not as anxious as I thought I’d be. Maybe it’s the denial? I’m more tired and I have a heightened sense of smell. 

Upcoming appointments?:  Because it’s just the one loss, my midwife is still treating this pregnancy “normally” which means I have to wait until Nov 12 for an u/s and Nov 13 for an initial check up. 

GTKY: Both! Though I’m not worried about loving tea too much, lol  

ruemcclanahan

I had a CP in March of 2019 and then a MC at 8 weeks in August 2019. 
It was extremely traumatic, I started spotting on a Sunday went to the hospital and everything seemed fine, my cervix was closed, the baby had a heartbeat. The bleeding never stopped and we lost the baby on Tuesday.
I held it in my hand, wouldn't let the doctors take it from me. My husband was in total denial until we saw the empty ultrasound and then he just lost it.
We said our goodbyes to the baby and went home. Took some time off from trying, went to lots of therapy.
Started trying in January, ended up doing some fertility medications and here we are!
Nervous about high TSH but everything is looking good so far.


How far along are you? 
5 weeks!

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? 
I wish I was puking. I am so nauseous but I feel like I would feel better once I start really getting sick.
It's so hard to be excited 😭 but I have hope!

Any upcoming appointments? 
Getting betas done every other day which is helping my anixety a lot 

GTKY: Coffee or tea?
Coffee all day long. I like it black

mindyb2019

@ruemcclanahan I agree. It's soo hard to be excited 😢😰 I'm scared to allow myself to be happy as I just dont want to be heartbroken again. 

ramzlau

@ruemcclanahan So sorry for your traumatic loss. I agree betas help calm the anxiety! When do you get your TSH tested again? Mine is next Wed 2 weeks after we discovered it was elevated. 

@llamamamawearspajamapants It is great that your anxiety is staying at bay! Hope you get to enjoy these first few weeks then before major symptoms kick in. 

@wendy838 Sometimes I wish for the innocence of that pregnancy before the first loss. It is good to be older and wiser and be able to empathize with others, but there was an uninhibited joy and excitement prior. Hope you can relax and enjoy this one! 

@sgrn18 Thank you for the reminder! 

@mindyb2019 Good luck with beta today! 

MelissaMay82

Loss story: I found out I was pregnant the week before Christmas 2015 (total surprise) we had been trying on and off for about 3 years. My pregnancy was going great, everything was normal and there was no concern on all early screenings. At the 20 week A/S there was some severe skeletal deformities. I was referring to MFM and it was confirmed that the baby had Thanatophoric Dysplasia, this is a chromosomal abnormality that is not compatible with life. I had a D&E at 21w5d. My second MC was very early at 4w6d in Nov 2017. I became pregnant again in aug 2019. The pregnancy was pretty stressful, especially in the beginning. I had an SCH and there was a lot of unexplained bleeding (before finding the sch on u/s). My dd was born in May 2019, she is 17 months now.

How far along are you? Super early- 3+6

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? So so anxious. Pregnancy is a total mind f*ck. This pregnancy was quite the surprise. I am overanalyzing everything. My symptoms come and go. My boobs are sore, my lower back occasionally hurts, I feel pressure/ discomfort in my lower abdomen, I’m bloated, gassy, and my stomach rumbles a lot. I have increased appetite and I’m peeing a lot. I also have noticed some acne on my face. I have had a little bit of spotting/bleeding over the past 2 days ranging in colors of pink, red, brown. I only notice blood when I wipe. There has also been a small amount bright red looking stringy tIssue (?) in the toilet a couple of times today. I feel like this is how my 2nd MC started. But thinking about it more I feel like I did have some of these early bleeding/stringy tissue with my last pregnancy. Either way, I am mentally preparing for a MC at this point.

Any upcoming appointments? Not yet, I have to talk to my OB. I will probably see her (or someone in her group) tomorrow at work.

GTKY: Coffee or tea? Coffee in the morning, tea at night

artsiefartsie

Loss Story: We have been dealing with secondary infertility after trying for over a year. I finally got a positive test 3 cycles ago that eventually resulted in a CP. We took the next cycle off and then got pregnant again, which also ended in a CP at 4.5 weeks.

How far along are you? - 4 weeks 4 days

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? - My anxiety is pretty high. I'm trying to remind myself that pre-worry isn't a thing as much as my brain wants it to be, and whatever happens happens, you'll deal with that bridge when you get there. Right now I am pregnant. You know... all the old stand bys 😆

I'm feeling a lot different than I did with either of the chemicals, so I'm trying to hold onto that.

Any upcoming appointments? I had initial beta/progesterone tested last Friday and then had them rechecked this morning. The initial labs seemed pretty good (370 hcg and 24 progesterone) but I'll be a ball of nerves until today's come back.

GTKY: Coffee or tea? Both! I'm really sensitive to caffeine so decaf coffee for me, but I love all tea.