STM+ Check In w/o 9/16

kvh22

How many kids do you already have? Ages? 

How are your other kids doing this week? 

Rants/Raves? Concerns/questions?

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday?

bblair24

How many kids do you already have? Ages? 

2 girls, ages 6 & 3.5

How are your other kids doing this week? 
They’re doing okay! They’ve been playing together so much, which inevitably leads to fighting. But they get over it quickly anyways!

Rants/Raves? Concerns/questions?
For several weeks (like June/Julyish) DD1 was waking up every night. Some of it is sleepwalking, some of it was bad dreams. She stopped but now DD2 has started. Most nights she’ll be in bed for 30 seconds and then come out and say she had a bad dream. I doubt that since you haven’t slept yet! 😂 Or she’ll get up and say “I need you to put me back in bed.” I have tried to explain that if she just stays in bed, she wouldn’t need me to put her back in bed, but it hasn’t sunk in yet. I miss the days when everyone stayed in bed all night long. 

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas! I am an absolute Christmas freak. My birthday is December 4 and we always make it a goal to be decorated for Christmas by then because it just makes my birthday complete! 

runsoncoffee

How many kids do you already have? Ages? 3 ages 4, 2.5, 1

How are your other kids doing this week? DS1 started preschool and I cant tell if its going well or not. DS2 just finished week one of potty training and is doing well with it! DS3 is on the verge of walking and is wayyyy too mischievous.

Rants/Raves? Concerns/questions? 

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday? Definitely Christmas!!! But 4th of July is close behind (probably because I love summer so much!)

@bblair24 ugh sounds like my DS2! We actually started him on melatonin because it was so awful. It helps sooo much with falling asleep, but he still wakes during the night most nights. Someday they will all sleep...

MandersX

How many kids do you already have? Ages?  1 boy who is getting very close to 4

How are your other kids doing this week? Ugh. He has been home since March and I was able to juggle work and him and provide adequate engagement. This pregnancy is taken all my motivation away though. I'm just trying to survive each day and I realized yesterday that DS is definitely lacking attention. His behavior is on the decline and there is way too much TV every day. I'm in a hotspot and wasn't planning on sending him back to daycare but I think we need to.

Rants/Raves? Concerns/questions? Can I please stop crying everyday? That would be great. 

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday? Definitely Christmas now with a kiddo. I just love how excited he gets for the lights, decorations and of course the presents. 

juliebird6

How many kids do you already have? Ages? 
DD is ~3.5, DS just turned 2.

How are your other kids doing this week? 

My daughter is extremely emotional right now. If you even look at her the wrong way she immediately starts screaming and crying hysterically. It’s so exhausting. DS is a brute so a lot of the tears stem from that.

Rants/Raves? Concerns/questions?

Nothing really, just in straight up survival mode. I’m so tired and feel horrible so my patience for dealing with the tantrums and mood swings is VERY low.

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday?

Christmas and Halloween for sure. I’m planning a Halloween party (it’s literally like 12 family members who we have seen periodically throughout the pandemic) and I’m excited but also exhausted thinking about all the fun things I WANT to do for it but ... they take so much effort. Definitely looking forward to Christmas though. The kids are at a fun age for Santa and all the magical things.

riff323

How many kids do you already have? Ages? 1 DD, age 4

How are your other kids doing this week? Very emotional and dramatic - I've been asking her if she's worried about going to school next week and she says she isn't, but who knows. Also, it's probably because I feel like crap and am not spending as much time with her.

Rants/Raves? Concerns/questions? I cannot wait for her to go back to school! Having those two hours a day to myself is all I want! I always figured my second pregnancy would be just like this, with a little break for preschool!

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday? Halloween! We are also having a party with the same people we've been seeing the whole time. I figure since it's the Year of No Fun there will probably be no Trick or Treating so I just have to do something for the kids to make it special.

BuckeyeNut05

How many kids do you already have? Ages?
I have 3, ages 8, 8 and 18 months (March ‘19 BMB baby).  

How are your other kids doing this week? 

One of the older is struggling with virtual school (from the standpoint of, she hates it and doesn’t want to do it), her twin is handling it great, and the baby is always a happy little guy. 

Rants/Raves? Concerns/questions?
I am having a hard time focusing and I’m struggling to keep up with work - normally I would log back in and knock some things out while I watch tv once the kids go to bed but I have been so nauseous at night (mine is the opposite of “morning” sickness) that I physically just can’t do it. Our fiscal year ends at the end of June, so all of the things that I want to accomplish for the year are now crammed into the next 7.5 months and it feels overwhelming. No questions, but I am happy to see lots of other moms in the group with this being baby #4! I hadn’t really seen that in the other BMBs. 

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday?
I think a few years ago I would have said Halloween, but I love, love, love eating, so I will go with Thanksgiving! 

riff323

@BuckeyeNut05 I also think it's great that there are so many STM+ in this group! And I am looking forward to Thanksgiving - it's my first one back here with family in 7 years so I'm going to really enjoy it!

kvh22

I'll come back and post later but @BuckeyeNut05 I'm with you on planning to do work in the evenings to catch up and then feeling too nauseous! We have a HUGE event with pre-event sessions starting next week and I'm slammed and keep saying I'm going to do things in the evening but just this week I've felt way to sick to manage. I was 9w yesterday so I'm hoping it peaks at 9w instead of 10 (I read 9 somewhere but had always thought it was 10 for me b/c that was in the middle of my 8 weeks of morning sickness for my first two pregnancies). This conference is normally end of August so I will JUST miss it with my 18 week maternity leave unless this baby comes super early. It's kind of nice knowing that I won't have to worry about it. With my first I had her the week before the conference but with my second I was also on Mat Leave for it so I have ALL the transition docs already created!

bblair24

@juliebird6 and @riff323 I’ve also been thinking about planning a Halloween party for our family and my brother and SIL and our nieces. And my parents would probably come too since it’s their 6 granddaughters! They’re young - our oldest niece is 12, then our DD1 is 6 and everyone else is younger than her. I’ve found some cute and pretty simple ideas on Pinterest both for kids and then fun snacks for the adults. I just wonder how I’ll be feeling then. I know it’s over a month away, but anytime I think about it I’m like “ehhh...” 😂 Our families both usually do trunk or treat which I imagine won’t be happening this year!

BuckeyeNut05

@riff323 where were you before?  I would have missed not having Thanksgiving for 7 years!
@kvh22 I’m glad I’m not the only one but I’m sorry you’re in the same boat. I feel like such a slacker, I’m hoping this goes away soon.  That’s good that you won’t have to worry about the conference!  Also I am jealous of your maternity leave. They just “upgraded” our two years ago to be 9 weeks paid, regardless of whether or not you have a c-section, but if you go beyond that you then use vacation time (totally not a vacation) and then it’s unpaid, maxing out at 12 weeks.  Don’t even get me started about how terrible maternity leave is in the US. I think I will just take it to the chin and take the unpaid time since this is my last one. 

juliebird6

@BuckeyeNut05 @kvh22 ugh, maternity leave! I work at a university and we FINALLY got approved for 6 weeks of paid leave so now because of covid, I'm toying with the idea of taking my 6 weeks and then returning part-time but virtually for the last 6 weeks so I don't have to burn all my PTO/vacation days or go completely unpaid (which is exactly what I had to do for the full 12 weeks with DD and DS). But, I'm not sure if I'm insane for thinking I'll be able to log ~4 hrs/day with a 6 week old baby or if I'm genius because I can totally do emails and take care of the easiest parts of my job while baby is napping? Will revisit in April  lololol

runsoncoffee

@BuckeyeNut05 I think its so cool there's a nice little group of us expecting baby 4! I also haven't seen that in many other groups. Excited for you to join us! 

Serenamarr

Any moms still breastfeeding their previous babes? My supply tanking was my first sign of pregnancy. My girl is 9 mo and I really wanted to make it to a year on just milk but I think this week I’m actively drying up completely. 😞 it’s making the hormones, headaches, hot flashes and fatigue twice as bad!

forevertired

How many kids do you already have? Ages? DS is almost 4

How are your other kids doing this week? He had a really big day on Tuesday and we were able to go outside for the first time in forever, but the next day was back to our regular schedule and he was awful. The entire morning was a disaster and finally after nap we made it back outside for some fresh air. We needed the reset but gosh I was exhausted from dealing with the entire morning tantrum. Luckily today he was back to his mostly pleasant self.

Rants/Raves? Concerns/questions? I’m just so excited for the sun to be back! I had to clean ash off of everything outside but I finally have my back yard back.

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday? Christmas! It’s just such a magical time. I reeeeally miss snow because it never feels quite like the real deal without at least the cold weather. I was really hoping to spend Thanksgiving and/or Christmas with my parents this year to get the season experiences but covid. Anyway I love the food, gingerbread houses, decorating, events, lights, just so much fun.

riff323

@BuckeyeNut05 we had moved 2000 miles away from our families but we just moved back earlier this year. It blows spending holidays alone. It was a huge reason we moved back! If I had to spend another lonely Christmas with just the three of us I was gonna lose it!!

mamabee1113

How many kids do you already have? Ages? 1 DS, 22mo

How are your other kids doing this week? He'e been all over the place. Some days he's a little ball of sunshine, others he's a badger. However, last night he was extra sweet- he lifted up my shirt and looked at my stomach and said "baby" and hugged and kissed my belly.  I melted.

Rants/Raves? Concerns/questions? Kind of snowballing off of what I said above, I'm so worried about how DS will take sharing mama. He has been literally glued to me since I got to hold him after his NICU stay. Even at almost 2, DS has yet to be able to put him to bed or handle MOTN wakings. DS will only hang out with DH for a few minutes before he starts asking for me. Total mama's boy, and I'm scared adding a new sibling that needs mama's love too will damage him.

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday? Another Christmas lover here! Its always been my favorite because I'd get to see all of my huge family around Christmas time. As a kid it meant I'd have at least 3 Christmases, so that never sucked.

kvh22

@juliebird6 hmm I'm trying to remember a 6 week old lol. If you have some flexibility, you could play it by ear. That'd be a hard decision to make ahead of time. DD1 was sleeping 10-6 starting at 4 weeks old. DD2 was...not lol. @BuckeyeNut05 I am very lucky! California has a pretty good policy but my company does 18 weeks full pay regardless of where you are. If I go out early, it starts earlier and then I can be home for the full 18 weeks but have the last bit unpaid so I've worked up until delivery with both and plan to do the same this time. DH will probably get only one week paid as opposed to 6 weeks of partial pay which stinks BUT we can have him work part time/take unpaid time or something like that, especially since he'll also be working from home and we'll have ALL of the grandparents around.

kelseyyh

@Serenamarr There’s actually a good amount of us nursing. My son is much older though, 21 months, so he just nurses a bit (compared to what I am assuming a 7 month would need). We had a thread going a few weeks ago, but we could start up another! 

I know that my Mom got pregnant with my brother when I was 6 months & I ended up not nursing as long as she was hoping. However, I have friends who nursed the older one with the new baby. My friend’s 1st was still nursing when she was pregnant with her 3rd. Everyone’s body is different. Perhaps a lactation consultant would be a good resource for you right now ❤️. 

runsoncoffee

@Serenamarr I'm still nursing my 2.5 year old and 14 month old and nursed through my second and third pregnancies as well. I hope to at least nurse the younger one through pregnancy but in the past tend to dry up for the most part around 20 weeks and dry nurse, which can be a little painful and some babies don't like it. That obviously won't work for a little under 1. Don't feel bad though, I understand you wanting to go to a year but she will be just fine with formula for a bit or maybe you can check your local human milk for human babies if anyone has breastmilk to donate. If you're on fb you can join the La Leche League tandem nursing group, there is lots of advice on nursing through pregnancy. At the end of the day though, some women just can't produce milk when pregnant. Its nothing you've done wrong and there's nothing you can really do to increase your supply when pregnant. You've done a great job providing for her up until now and will find other special ways to bond with her. I hope you feel better ❤

goldpolkadot

How many kids do you already have? Ages? 
Three! 5, 3, & 1!

How are your other kids doing this week? 
They’re okay! The 2 big started preschool so we’re adjusting to that. But they’re loving it and like a few of y’all said, my motivation is at like ZERO lately so I’m happy they’re having a lot of fun in school because I’m just so low energy right now that I’m having a hard time being a fun mom. 

Rants/Raves? Concerns/questions?
Does anyone know if at 10 weeks you can hear HB with a Doppler? I can’t remember & probably should have clarified with my OB but I go back in a week for NIPT & I *think* they said also to hear the HB, but is that possible that early? 

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday?
Probably Thanksgiving or 4th of July! I love Christmas too for sure, and that’s probably my top one with all the fun things (lights, gingerbread houses, music, etc) but I love thanksgiving food & love that it doesn’t really drag out forever 😂 4th of July is always fun too - I love summer!!

bblair24

@goldpolkadot, my dad said his favorite is thanksgiving for the same reason - delicious food, family gathering, and it’s just one day as opposed to a whole month 😂 I can’t remember when they started using the Doppler, but I think 10 weeks sounds about right! I feel like they used it at almost every appointment! 

goldpolkadot

@bblair24 okay thank you!! Haha 10 weeks still feels soooo early! But good to know I probably didn’t make it up 😂

kelseyyh

@goldpolkadot I had my appointment on Tuesday & I was only 9 weeks that day and my doctor got the heartbeat! I was totally blown away. Good luck at your appointment ❤️. 

kelseyyh

I realized I never actually filled this out lol.

How many kids do you already have? Ages? 
My son is 21 months .

How are your other kids doing this week? 
He’s started going in his crib more for naps. I also find naps are getting more serious for him if that makes sense lol. Like he is asking for them & wants them, and if he wakes up to early - yikes. I’m trying to be more organized with our daily routine (I’m a mess lol). 

Rants/Raves? Concerns/questions?
Kay iron supplements are fine right? I totally blanked on telling my doctor that I am still taking mine. It’s just over the counter. I took it for most of my pregnancy with DS, but waited to be told to. My doctor put me back on it in February when *TW* I had my loss. I’ve never stopped taking it since then. I suddenly got paranoid about forgetting to bring it up at my appointment. I think I’ll call / go talk to a pharmacist but now I’m kind of putting it off feeling all weird about it... from what I understand most pregnant women end up needing iron supplementation, but gah - just feeling weird that I forgot to discuss this. 

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas! Lucky me that DS was born Dec 23. 

Serenamarr

@kelseyyh @runsoncoffee thank you ladies, I have actually been exclusively pumping since she was around 2 months, due to extreme oversupply issues. Like by the time she was a week old I would pump 8 oz per side every 3-4 hours 🤦🏼‍♀️ I donated around 1000 oz when we moved across country in February! Luckily because of this I have about a month supply frozen, it’s just been super weird to drop down to 3-4 oz per side every six hours. Rather than stress about producing enough we caved and have been alternating frozen mixed with formula, and fresh. As long as I can still give her mostly breast milk I’ll feel better about the immunity aspects. 

kelseyyh

@Serenamarr Wow, what an amazing donation 💕. Pumping is a tough job - you go Mama! 

eahayes

How many kids do you already have? Ages? One son, 22 months 

How are your other kids doing this week? Testing boundaries a lot, which is hard when I’m so wiped. Some days the sweetest and most curious boy, other days it’s “mamaaaa” as he is grinning standing on the table and jumping 🤦‍♀️

Rants/Raves? Concerns/questions? I guess concerned about the boundary testing now that it came up— not sure how to correct behaviors without being too harsh and just yelling 

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday? 4th of July and Hanukkah/Christmas! all of which will be different and celebrated solo this year... sad but also so happy my son won’t be old enough to know what he’s missing or remember this!

cagncoo12

How many kids do you already have? Ages? DD, turns 2 next week!

How are your other kids doing this week? Good, we have been at my mom's house so she has loved all of her grandma time. 

Rants/Raves? Concerns/questions?I'm really over Covid this week. I miss hugging people and feeling comfortable around friends and family. 

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving and Christmas... basically any time i can hang with my family. 

@goldpolkadot I had my 10 week appointment and Doc said its a little early to get HB with doppler, but by 12 weeks it's more of a sure thing. She tried, but couldn't find it, which was sad, but I was thankful she told me it wasn't a sure thing before she tried! 

theletlers

@Serenamarr I had oversupply with DS1, I think I donated 1500 oz in a year. My PR for pumping after he was done nursing was 13 ounces. But with DS2 my supply sucked and we ended up doing formula when I was away and I nursed when I was home. It can be different with each one for sure. DS1 was still nursing after 2 just occasionally and was super attached to the boob, but I made him stop when I was pregnant because it was draining me, but he was older. But DS2 was quick to give it up at 15 months and just preferred his bottle or soppy cup. 

How many kids do you already have? Ages? 
2 boys, 5 and 2.5

How are your other kids doing this week? 
Eh, it was a long week. We traveled down to see my in laws since we hadn’t seen them
since February and wanted to see them in case covid makes it hard to see them later in the year. But it made several days of no routine and yesterday DS1 basically had a meltdown and spent the day in an overly stimulated sensory catastrophe. 

Rants/Raves? Concerns/questions?
I’m just so blah right now. I really hope I can muster more energy soon because I’m so tired of feeling sick and exhausted all of the time.

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday?
Probably Christmas. It’s just such an eventful time
of year and so many traditions and the magic for the kids is so fun. 

bblair24

I thought of a question!

Have you guys told your kids about the new baby yet? When do you plan on telling them? I’m excited to tell our girls, but it feels like April is still so far away. I want them to know and be excited and be able to talk to us about it, but I also don’t want it to feel like an eternity until the baby is actually born!

theletlers

@bblair24 we told our kiddos pretty early. I don’t think it’s really that exciting for them. Sometimes my two year old will pat my belly and say baby but I really don’t think it means anything much to him yet. But with how much I puke during pregnancy they needed an answer for why! My 2 year old also comes into the bathroom when I puke and asks “momma, you sicky?” 

bblair24

Aww @theletlers that’s so sweet! I love when they show their own little ways of caring ❤️ I’m not sure how much it’ll mean to our 3.5 year old (she’ll be 4 in December) but I think our 6 year old will be really excited! 

lbonista

cagncoo12 I am so over covid too.  It really bums me out that I am not going to be able to have a real baby shower.  It already ruined our honeymoon that we were supposed to take for our 1 year anniversary.  I think I am still going to fly during this pregnancy with covid.  I am not going to be able to hold on mentally without a little relaxation.  

Any suggestions how far along I should be before I tell my boss I am pregnant?  I was thinking between 12-16 weeks.  I just don't want to tell them too early.  I am a teacher though and my maternity leave will be a little more complicated with remote learning and everything else going on this school year!

runsoncoffee

@bblair24 my kids are still little... only my oldest would really get it, but we havent told them yet! Kinda waiting til after my first real appt which is at 12 weeks/middle of October. I'm ready to tell them now! But hubby wants to wait. Probably so they don't blab to everyone (we've only told my mom and one brother)

theletlers

@runsoncoffee yeah I would definitely not have said anything but we currently live with family so no real good way to hide constant morning sickness and they were all told early. Kids are terrible secret keepers most of the time!

goldpolkadot

@bblair24 we haven’t told our kiddos yet & definitely won’t until we’ve made it public 😂 Our oldest is only 5 so she would for sure not be able to keep it quiet. I’m excited to tell her - I think she’ll get a kick out of it this time. I’m doubting the 3 year old will care much right now. I think once i’m really showing they’ll notice/care more. And then once we’re closer to due date we’ll start talking about what things will logistically look like - room setups, where kids will be when we go to the hospital, etc. 

bblair24

I’ve thought about the reality of telling our kids and then them blabbing it to someone else (mainly the 6 year old) but then I remember that we really don’t see anyone right now so there’s not much danger of that 😂 We see our parents regularly, but they already know. We just told them to be sure not to tell the girls...MIL especially, but I think after being told 3 or 4 times we can trust her to not say anything. I hope. 😜 DH goes to church every week but I don’t, and the girls definitely don’t, and that would be about the only place they’d see anyone! 

eahayes

@cagncoo12 def over Covid too- being really strict and don’t have family super close by. Really miss visiting them and having my son see his cousins and grandparents... getting so tough

eahayes

@bblair24 I’ve tried to tell my son a few times but he doesn’t get it.. I realized today he probably doesn’t even know what a baby or sister is bc he’s the youngest at daycare and we never see friends or family with him bc of covid. I’m sure it is so abstract to him so I’ll just give it a little bit longer..

riff323

@bblair24 we're not telling DD until we make it public because I don't trust her not to tell people. Who would she tell? Probably every person who looks at her in a store, her teacher, kids at school... so maybe not a big deal, but I'm not ready to deal with it yet so nope!

@lbonista I think it depends on your relationship with your boss. Last time I was pregnant I told my boss right away because we were really close. This time I'm waiting another month or so (I'm 8 weeks now) because it's retail and I have no idea how they're going to take it. I think whatever your gut feeling says is probably right.