Claiming names without being pregnant — The Bump
Baby Names

Claiming names without being pregnant

babymess2020babymess2020 member
edited September 2020 in Baby Names
How do you feel about people claiming a name before being pregnant. 
A close relative and myself have the same favorite baby name. 
Now the relative is upset that we want to use it for my current pregnancy 

Re: Claiming names without being pregnant

  • I feel like “claiming a name” can only be done when there is an actual child to name. They will get over it. Or they won’t. 

    Unless there is some special naming tradition like So-and-so Jr, or mother passing on their middle name as first name or something like that. That would be pretty shitty if you stole their naming tradition somehow.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • Well it not a tradition it’s just a name we both are emotionally attached to for different reasons and we both have wanted it since before we met each other 
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  • harpseal135harpseal135 member
    edited September 2020
    How do you feel about people claiming a name before being pregnant. 
    A close relative and myself have the same favorite baby name. We have known this for years. 
    I am currently pregnant she is not and is not trying to have a baby right now. 
    We announced gender and name to the family and she practically threw a fit about it and then messaged me privately about being upset that we were taking the name she has been saying she wants. 

    Like part of me feels bad but the other part of me says that it’s not okay for her to act that way because you can’t claim a name for a hypothetical child and you already knew (or should have known) that was my favorite name too.

    Stuck in the box

    Claiming a name is ridiculous- you announced the name and her having a fit it rediculous.  If it means that much to her she can still use it. Akward, maybe, but no reason she can't. 

    No one can guarentee that she will have the sex that fits the name.  If its a girls name she ultimately could have three boys and vice versa. 

  • She can’t claim a name. Her being upset and expecting you not to use it is her saying she has more of a right to use it than you do. Ridiculous. If it’s that meaningful she can still use it. No one is stopping her. I would refuse to discuss it with her anymore. If it comes up again try to change the subject and if she presses you on it I’d say you don’t want to talk about it and then walk away. Once your baby is born you can announce the name and there won’t be any reason to throw a fit then because it will already be done.
  • Many families have doubles on names,  Just tell the other relative that you dont mind if she uses it also, that its a great name and that you both have good taste in names. My kids have 3 cousins named Jason and 2 named Henry and 2 Jacks! It has not been a problem. I say no claiming names (although I know families that do it)

    This is my favorite article on naming babies...
  • My husband and I had names we loved before we got pregnant but when it came to actually talking about names and preparing to name THIS baby, those names have gone out the window.... none have been feeling right. Either of you may meet your child and decide "This is NOT an Emma..." or "Lucas doesn't really fit him, does it?" and it's back to square one. How often are you going to see this relative?

    If she insists that you don't use this name that both of you have loved since before you even met, then she doesn't get to use the name either. I think she's being super selfish. 
  • Use the name you like. They will find another one.
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