Not happy but I will get there — The Bump
1st Trimester

Not happy but I will get there

Sooooo, I'm 43 and have 2 children ages 11 and 12. My husband got a vasectomy 8 weeks after my youngest was born. I love my little family and was perfectly satisfied with the great life we have. I've been feeling like garbage lately and haven't been able to shake it. Took a pregnancy test yesterday and what do you know...BFP. Well, crap. Not possible right???? Took another one this morning- still pregnant. I don't want to complain because I know so many women would kill for a positive test at any age. But I can't help doing age calculations. When this kid is 10, I'll be 53. When this kid is 20, I'll be 63!!!!! Diapers. Potty training. Learning to read. Not happy. I know I'll get there but I'm so sad right now.

Re: Not happy but I will get there

  • Give yourself permission to feel how you feel. The fact that there are women who would be happy to find themselves pregnant doesn’t negate your very real and valid feelings. Hang in there ❤️ It will get better. Babies do bring a lot of joy into a house. Your existing children may really relish having a little baby sibling to care for. Maybe once you’ve given yourself time to grieve you could try to focus on more positive things like that?
  • Thanks @doodleoodle. I'm already starting to get a little excited. I'm in a totally different part of my life now than I was when I had my first- iPads weren't even a thing yet and Netflix came on DVD! I can see the kids being so excited for a new baby and glory be, I will have two ready made babysitters. :) It does change everything but I'm going to try to focus on what we're gaining instead of the freedom I feel like I will lose. Another upside is we're not flat broke this time- that's way better! Thanks for your kind words. It's funny that I never thought I'd be utilizing the bump again- funny what life throws at you, I guess. :)
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  • I’m so glad that you’re feeling better ❤️
  • @homeschooljewel I am sorry you are upset, but I understand.  My 3rd was planned, but he is 7/9 years younger than his siblings, and there were times I would freak out s a bout ruining our freedom and drastically changing our lives.  Seeing him with his older siblings is amazing though.  And in my experience, being older and having this be my third child, I feel so much more confident and things just seem easier, I hope it is the same for you.  It is amazing how much technology and baby stuff have changed, so, you probably, like me, still have a lot to learn, but I hope you can savor every moment you can and I wish you the best!
    lelkcotkpearse99[Deleted User]
  • I am 40 with a 5 year old and 2 year old and was also very happy with life as it am not excited yet about this surprise coronial and then feel guilty about not being happy :( 
  • My brother and I are ten years apart.  *TW* My mom had two miscarriages in between.  Her colleagues even told her there was "no way" she could keep me, what with all that was going on in her career, but she obviously did, and here I am!

    It was awesome having an older big brother looking out for me, (I can only wonder how our family might have looked if all her kids survived.)  I do sometimes wish I had a sibling closer in age, but I also had an amazing BFF who was like a sister to me instead.

    Life can be unpredictable at times, but I'm glad you're starting to come around after the initial shock has worn off.  My dad was *much* older as I was growing up, and he was the best dad I could have hoped for!  Try not to let the age thing psych you out - there are lots of strengths that older parents bring to the table, too! ❤️❤️❤️
  • I am 45 and remarried 5 years ago. Never thought I would want more children, but here I am. 2 IVF's with my own eggs and now moving onto Donor Eggs to do it. I would have loved to have been able to do it on my own but life throws us curve balls! We feel the same way about how old we will be but you know what....who cares what other people think. I am looking forward to all the fun things that keep you young with a kid. My youngest girls (twins) are 10 and they have been bugging me for a baby brother since my husband and I got married 4 years ago!! HA! Good luck!!
    Me: 45yo, DH: 47yo
    3 Daughters (singleton @27yo, ID  Di/Di Twins @34yo)
    Protein S Deficiency (Blood Clotting Disorder), MTHFR & VIT D issue 
    5 MC's:  Blighted Ovum-D&C @ 9wks;  Natural MC @ 7wks; Blighted Ovum-D&C @ 9wks; MC boy-D&C @ 9wks & Chem PG in 2019
    Tubes were tied after my Twins (and now I am old). Remarried and want to give my DH a baby!

    IVF#1 OE June 2019 - ER 6/15/19, 24R, 21M, 20F, 7 6DBlasts Frozen for PGS Testing,
    RESULTS of PGS 4 abnormal girls,  2 abnormal boys, 1 indeterminate girl
    FET#1 OE August 23, 2019 (transferring 1 indeterminate girl & 1 abnormal boy) - BFN
    IVF#2 November 15, 2019 - ER 9R, 9M, 6F, 2 5dBlasts (fresh transfer) and 1 6DBlast frozen for PGS Testing,
    FRESH Transfer: November 20, 2019, 2 5-day blasts transferred!! 
    BFP 8dp5dt on 11/27 - 12/2 on FRER, BETA #1 12/2 - 11.93. BETA #2 12/4: 4.41 ~CHEMICAL PG
    ******************Starting Donor Process
    June 2020: Egg Donor Cycle and Fresh Transfer of 1 embryo in Czech Republic - CANCELLED DUE TO COVID19
    October 2020.  Split Cycle at UFC with a friend (Andrea) I met on the Bump who was also supposed to go to Prague too  
    DE Retrieval 9/26/2020, 26R, 24M, 12 split Cycle, 9 Fertilized + 1 "questionable", PRAYING FOR AT LEAST 5 BLASTS
    10/1/2020: 4 5DBlasts (AA, BB, BC, BC), 10/2/2020: 3 6DBlasts (BB, BB, BC) FOR A TOTAL OF: 7 BLASTS!! THANK YOU GOD!!
    DE FET November 16th, 2020 (transferring an PGS normal Hatching AA Boy)
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