October 2020 Moms

Facebook Group

edited July 2020 in October 2020 Moms
It seems like several of our regular contributors are ready to move off TB. We will keep this poll open for probably about a week to make sure all our active members see it. 

**If you are brand new, please refrain from voting at this time but feel free to start participating regularly. 
Me: 27 DH: 27
Married 6/15/13
BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks 
~In our hearts forever~
BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18


Facebook Group 29 votes

Yes, ready to move now
82% 24 votes
No, I will never move to Facebook
3% 1 vote
Too soon (please specify when you feel you will be ready)
13% 4 votes
«1

Re: Facebook Group

  • I voted too soon simply because I'm on a social media break. I would probably prefer another month off SM just for my own selfish reasons, but if the group moves sooner, I will probably reactivate my FB. I miss my prior BMB FB group too, so I plan on going back eventually anyway.
  • I'm unsure of what to vote. I'd like to keep up with everyone during pregnancy, but I feel weird because I won't be taking a baby home at the end of this. 
  • Loading the player...
  • @carrotsandpeas3 I just deleted my FB app for the day or week or month....again. I’ve just been doing that lately when I need a break but it’s VERY often so I feel you 100%. 
  • I may not be comfortable until a couple more months. Just wanting to feel comfortable with knowing everyone before putting my info out there. But if y’all move sooner, that may not happen if no ones on here. If that makes sense? Also if the majority of everyone moves now but I don’t ask to join for a few months will I still be welcomed or considered a stranger since it’s been months? 
  • @babycakesday I mentioned this in the other thread, but it’s important to me that if people aren’t ready that they can still join us later. Don’t want to force someone into something they aren’t ready for. 💗
  • edited July 2020
    @babycakesday in my experience, when my prior BMB moved to FB, this page died. Not sure if time will help you feel more comfortable if not much participation is happening here. So even though I'm not 100% comfortable with everyone knowing everything about me yet, I will probably join and then share more as I get more comfortable. We don't have to all friend each other at first, so really your full name is the biggest thing we are sharing at that point! Totally understand the apprehension though.

    ETA--also I would miss you and hope you feel comfortable enough to join at some point! ❤️
  • I don’t want anyone who is a regular to feel like they have to join when the majority is ready to move. If you are considered a regular at this point, you are welcome to join when you are ready. 
    I can’t promise I will check the board as often especially after baby is born but I’ll still try to come here when I can.
    @themoonandme, I’m personally ok with whatever you are comfortable with. 
    Me: 27 DH: 27
    Married 6/15/13
    BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks 
    ~In our hearts forever~
    BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18


  • ^ yep! In my last BMBs we didn’t start sending friend requests to each other until after we’d been in the same group for a few months. 
  • Are we talking about a “private group” or whatever the setting is that if you’re not a member, you can’t see anything including the members? Thinking since several people have said they have not announced on social media this would be the preference but don’t want to make assumptions. 
  • That’s what my last group did and we loved it. It’s just a little hidden nook in FB that no one even knows you’re a part of. 
  • Yeah, no one should be able to see that you’re part of that group if it’s set to private! I’m ready to move and hope that even those who aren’t ready will still join us when you are! 
  • I echo the sentiment that people should be allowed to join when they're ready. And @themoonandme you're 1000% welcome in my opinion. 
  • I’m pretty Facebook stupid so I wasn’t aware of what it really meant but thanks for the clarification. I’m pretty cautious since I don’t get a lot of this internet stuff. But I’m trying to learn! I may be okay with the private group in that case. I don’t really have anything you can see in public anyway. 
  • I would definitely want it to be a private Facebook group. I keep my Facebook pretty locked down regardless
  • Can we come to some kind of agreement about how we will decide invites too? Not that I want to exclude anyone unnecessarily, but sometimes the shift to FB has lurkers coming out of the woodwork to ask to join, which I am not comfortable with. Maybe once regulars are invited, new people have to be voted in by the majority to come in? Or something of that nature.
  • KurtniKurtni member
    @baseballismyfavoriteseason I think a private group is best, not just for our privacy but so we don’t have a ton of people finding it and trying to join thinking it’s one of the many open birth month groups on Facebook. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @carrotsandpeas3, that’s how we did it in my last BMB. I’m personally not ok with lurkers joining. You need to have been here and participating for a bit 
    Me: 27 DH: 27
    Married 6/15/13
    BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks 
    ~In our hearts forever~
    BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18


  • My second group let in tons of lurkers and I left it because it was too big. Other than a few extreme regulars I would think once the group is formed no one else can join. And I’ll let you guys decided if I qualify as a lurker. I was crazy active before and I would love to join those of you that I’ve connected with but me being gone for a little over a month may qualify me as a lurker and I completely understand that. 
  • Maybe we could do a thread and everyone posts a generic “I want in the group” post and we decide on a minimum number of likes from the group for that person to be able to join. Kind of like a voting system. If you get at least 7 (or whatever number we decide) hearts, you are welcome. 
  • Bahaha @Kurtni was typing while you posted I think. 🤣
  • @JLaVO888 Personally I wouldn’t qualify you as a lurker... when I saw your screen name I was like, “oh I haven’t seen her in a while!” Being gone for awhile is different (to me) than never posting and suddenly wanting to be in the group. 
  • @JLaVO888 you definitely aren’t a lurker! I’d vote you in!!
  • @baseballismyfavoriteseason @mamahosch aww thanks guys! I honestly missed your faces (well profile pics haha). It’s been nice to be back and catch up.  
  • @Kurtni @JLaVO888 so once a person hits the “like threshold” then what—do they get sent an invite? A link to the group? Do they PM someone their Facebook name or email address? I don’t think I’m searchable on facebook right now but will have to check my privacy settings. 
  • I think that if we keep the group private I would be all in for it. Only names would be shared unless we friend each other.

    About the lurkers issue, I'm starting to feel nervous. I do read all the posts almost every day but only comment a couple of days a week (with some exceptions). Being shy and inexperienced extends to my online self...

    The voting system sounds quite good to me, that way it's a general decision and gives an option for everyone.
  • MJDsquaredMJDsquared member
    edited July 2020
    @baseballismyfavoriteseason They way we did it (in my last BMB), is five of us volunteered to be admins of the FB group, and one of the five then created it. Since it's a secret group, you can't search for it, so you would just PM one of the admins your email address and then they'd invite you to join the group. So you need to make sure your FB email address is one you have access to.
    Me: 29 || DH: 29
    TTC #1 4/2016 || dx NIR PCOS 7/2016 || BFP 4/2017
    DD - 12/28/17 <3

    TTC #2 3/2019
    BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
    BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
  • I like the idea of a Facebook group- I’m on there more anyway, and would feel more comfortable posting regularly in a private group. I don’t post much here though- mostly in PGAL, and try to keep with other threads but don’t post in them as often (partly because anyone on the internet can read this.)
    Me: 29, DH: 29
    TTC since: 2/13
    Long, anovulatory cycles
    Began fertility testing 12/13
    Ultrasound and bloodwork: Everything looks good (according to my ob/gyn)
    HSG: waiting to schedule
    SA: scheduled with RE for 1/6/14
  • I haven't really participated in the moving discussion threads because I don't really have a strong opinion either way.. I'd be happy to stay here and I'd be fine moving to Facebook too. 
    So I guess I'll just vote to move off the bump since that seems to be the popular opinion right now! 
  • Not sure if this would work but when you create a Facebook page you can set it up to where people have to answer a question when they request to join. Only the admins and moderators can see the answer and then they can approve the request to join based on the answer. You could set it up to where people would have to answer with their username. Or some other question that would help limit the randoms and lurkers who would be trying to join.
  • My vote would be a private group. I believe you have to be friends with the person inviting you, so @babycakesday, you might have to friend a specific person, accept the group invite and then you can immediately unfriend. That's how we did it with my first bmb and no one was offended if you didn't want friend requests/unfriended the person who invited you. We had a post where you could say if you were open to friend requests at that point and then it just sort of a natural development.

    @ccstlln1 I thinkthat if we go with a private group it can't have something where you fill out questions with requests to join because you literally can't find the group unless you're invited to it. 

    But yes, if it's a private group it will not allow anyone who is a group member to see anything more than your public profile and no one outside the group will be able to see that you belong. 
    Aside from names instead of user names I actually think it is more private than The Bump.
  • @Kurtni I think that’s a great way to take care of it!

    In my last BMB I think there were 5 admins and they allowed people in who had a certain number of posts. It’s been a few years now though so I could be mistaken. 

    As for being a lurker/drive by poster I can definitely see how I could be considered a lurker. I was pretty active in the beginning and remember even psycho refreshing the page waiting for the Oct board to be created, but yeah...I took a long break from everything when COVID hit. I deleted Facebook and just stayed off everything.

    @JLaVO888 I totally remember you and wouldn’t consider you a lurker. My break was way longer than yours. 

    I’d be thrilled to be part of a Facebook group because I’ve loved the connections I’ve made in the group and am looking forward to all the babies, BUT what is more important, truly, is that everyone is comfortable. If I haven’t been active enough for members to be comfortable with me joining, I’ll totally understand and respect that. 
  • Much more private! I started using private groups for my classroom about 4 years ago. I would give parents the link at the beginning of the year and a password phrase just as an added level of security and then the parents signed permission slips for sharing photos in that group. Only my parents could see anything that was shared there so it was great for building a classroom community and giving parents updates on things. In all the years I’ve done it I haven’t had any issues with privacy or security. Parents liked it as well because they didn’t have to be my FB friend so I could snoop through their personal lives and they also couldn’t snoop through mine. It kept the group at a more professional level than personal level.
  • I believe if you have the link to the private group you can request to join and can also have a question component if wanted. I’m part of several private Facebook groups where I have no Facebook friends associated and was never invited by someone I know. So we could post the link or have the link private messages to people who are approved to join. 
  • Yes you can share the link but we wouldn’t want to share is on a thread  because then anyone on the bump internet would know it but admins could privately send it to people on here. Then no one has to accept any friend request. You just click the link from tour bump inbox.
  • Ah, I didn't realize that. When we did the private group with my bmb that's how it seemed to be set up and how we did it. But if we can do it just with a link that's even better. 

    Also, echoing the sentiment of those who were active early and then took a break - I know I've only been active for a couple of months since I found out so late about being pregnant, but I would love to be a part. But I think I've been fairly active since then? But if it does make anyone uncomfortable I understand entirely.
  • I feel like my views have changed this last week with those random new posters. Plus there have been things I want to share, but hold back since it’s not private. 

    Also for those of you returning, I actually worried about you guys. I am glad to see the pregnancies are still going strong. And you guys definitely aren’t lurkers in my opinion. 
  • jgrodojgrodo member
    @animalandplantrescuer I totally agree with you was wondering about the private group after those posts this past week
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