July Randoms

asparagusseason

@windywoman don't doubt yourself, report your co-worker! There's even an Ask a Manager today with a similar question (#2 at the link). With COVID, a lot of times I feel like I am in your boat of 'maybe I'm overthinking it' but then I look at the graphs for the US and think about how many people who have died and... that puts it back in perspective.

lurvleybunchococonuts

Anyone have any thoughts regarding starting a high risk/MFM group check-in or just general post?  I know @mama-buckets commented regarding high risk specialist and I have my first appt with MFM the 21st for Baby B's cord/checking her measurements.  Off the top of my head I don't know who else is currently seeing MFM or is labelled as "high risk".

@Ecat504 LMFAO how dare you judge her for feeding her baby oreos her baby, her choice *eyeroll eyeroll eyeroll*

bserena

@lurvleybunchococonuts I have marginal cord insertion but am not seeing an MFM as of yet, but I do think a dedicated check-in for MFM/"high-risk" thread would be helpful!

wychets

@Ecat504 Thank you! Things are much better, although I am back home all week next week lol. I think my body just needed to adjust to getting up and staying up, at home I just had my laptop in the bed with me.

crizz13

Random Question - we got invited to DH's cousin's wedding in mid-October. The wedding is about a 2.5 hour drive from home, but it is a day wedding so wouldn't *necessarily* require us to spend the night anywhere...especially because I obviously won't be drinking. 

Our girls are not invited, but my parents would probably be fine watching them.

I don't think I'd be too pregnant to go, but I'm wondering about the COVID factor. We have to RSVP by August 10 and I just feel like that is coming up quickly. I don't know how big of a wedding it is, how much will be outside/inside, etc. If we do go, I wouldn't want to be paranoid or worried the whole time. 

Thoughts? 

hedgepig

@crizz13 We're planning on going into full lockdown starting in early October so even if baby comes early we can minimize risk of getting sick. I would probably skip the wedding, but then I don't love weddings and would be glad to have an excuse not to go 😆 Maybe you could call them and ask what precautions they're taking? It must be a concern for many of their guests....

surlyjaneausten

@crizz13 I’d wonder if it’s an outdoor wedding and if masks are expected. I would think lots of people wouldn’t wear masks to a wedding. Personally it would be a no for me. That’s a lot of driving while pretty pregnant. 

1sttimemomma98

Oh boy I’m hoping we don’t get anything too crazy! I’m a FTM so I have 0 experience with crazies on BMBs. My drama this week though was my unstable aunt making fun my autistic godson for being nonverbal (my other aunt’s 5 yr old son). So needless to say the whole family is taking a break from her 🙄 I am sorry but there are some things you can’t take back once they’re said!!

lurvleybunchococonuts

@1sttimemomma98 😮 I have no words, that is awful. I hope your aunt (the unstable one) gets the help she needs. It goes without saying that making fun of a 5 years old, epsecially a nonverbal one with ASD is wrong on many levels. Mental illness is no joke though. It can turn otherwise wonderful people into a whole other side that you don't know 😞

crizz13

@1sttimemomma98 that is TERRIBLE.

jaclyn0405

@crizz13 I think our travel will be limited if not, non-existent starting 01 October.  If the same protocols are in place at my hospital as they are now, finding them out while I was in L&D last week was enough to scare the living crap out of me, so I will be taking all precautions to lock it down.  I do agree with @hedgepig that maybe a simple reach out to them to determine what steps they are planning on taking during the ceremony/reception would be a great idea to gauge your comfort level!

Ecat504

My coworker and I are going to be going out on maternity leave within about 2 weeks of each other (she's due at the end of October and I'm having baby on 11/10). My boss has made ZERO preparations for this despite her and I both trying to help him prepare several times. (We have to train whoever comes in).

Last year my coworker had a baby and they put off hiring anyone, and it all but forced her to come back to work 3 weeks postpartum, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I don't like this place that much.... I will be enjoying my 6-8 weeks with baby girl.

bserena

@ecat504 ugh, my work hasn't even begun discussing how long they will give me/what the plan will be. I am super worried about how it is all going to work out. I hope your boss comes around soon so you guys can get a plan into place!!

bserena

SO, I was just told that we are going to go back to working from home! I am really glad. We are a small office and most of us, besides our warehouse staff, are totally capable of doing our jobs remotely. In the past week my boss's daughter tested positive, so he is quarantining (even though he tested negative) and our CEO's daughter tested positive (but he is still in the office) and another coworker is the CEO's daughter's boyfriend so he is quarantining as of yesterday. Basically, just too many close calls for comfort, and especially being pregnant I would just much rather be home.

As an added benefit, I got them to order me a laptop (I already have two desktop's, lol) so that I don't have to use my personal one while working remotely, yay!

wychets

@bserena That is awesome! They have slowly started bringing us back to the office but with numbers going up I am hoping they will send us back home soon! I am really just waiting for maternity leave, we get 5 months off with pay with combined maternity leave and bonding time so working from home would be a great transition into leave. Plus I'm feeling lazy and want to lay in bed  with my laptop lol.

dumbledoredies

@crizz13 when is your due date and when is the wedding? I plan on putting us into lockdown a few weeks before this LO's due date. If the wedding is at the beginning of October and you are due at the end of November I might consider it. But even then I dont know. Covid isnt going anywhere and I cant imagine getting it in the 3rd trimester. The 3rd trimester is already uncomfortable enough lol.

crizz13

Wedding is October 10, due November 23 so it's not crazy close. I'm such a planner I'm trying to figure out all these fall things for us, and it's driving me absolutely crazy that there are so many unknowns. 

csardaszz

I hadn’t even thought about doing a pre-labor lockdown... I am already getting frustrated only leaving the house once a week, I don’t know how I’d handle staying home completely for several weeks at a once. But at the same time, numbers in my area are going up and a lot of people don’t seem to be aware that there is a pandemic. 

@crizz13 I hope that even if you can’t make it, they can stream the wedding online. I just had to tell my best friend from college that I couldn’t go to her August wedding (😭); luckily, they’ll have it online so I can watch as it happens. 

 Also, I can’t believe I didn’t see this thread until today!

surlyjaneausten

I know my anxiety is jumping the gun but I’m getting worried about holiday festivities with a new baby and the high probability that covid will still be a reality. My in-laws often travel from out of state and do a really big thanksgiving and Christmas here. I know it’s too early to know what the plans will be and how prevalent the disease will still be, but I’m leaning towards being a hermit and insisting on everyone staying away from me. Anyone already considering these types of plans and how they’ll be affected?

jaclyn0405

So even with the amount of working out I am trying to do, this hot and disgusting weather has my thighs touching and making me SO uncomfortable.  My friend bought these and tried them out last week and said they stayed up all day and are literally the best thing she has ever purchased.  My pair is arriving tomorrow, but I wanted to post in case anyone is in the same boat with me in dresses and the summertime heat lol.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08429ZKTS/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

crizz13

@jaclyn0405 THANK YOU!!

krystrist2014

@hedgepig and @dumbledoredies - MH and I have also discussed locking down our family starting in October as well. Primarily because I am terrified he will get sick, with anything, not just covid, and that any little symptom will be enough for the hospital not to allow him in during birth. So help me god if I can’t have my husband there for the birth of our child!!!! I already had to be put to sleep for my DD’s birth and hubby wasn’t at the hospital at the time of her birth either so if this one goes sideways I will be really upset.
 This topic did, however, also get me thinking about how Halloween is going to work. In general, I would be curious to see if society as a whole will change how kids trick or treat.... and then I’m also not sure what kinds of precautions our family will take to limit our exposure but still allow DD to enjoy halloween.

crizz13

@surlyjaneausten Yes, we have already been prepping our 5.5 year old that we will probably not be seeing extended family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

My parents are planning on watching the girls while I am at the hospital and we are asking them to either get a COVID test or self-quarantine for the week leading up to my due date. They live 10 minutes away and will not need to arrange travel plans. They are both also retired, so this won't be a huge issue for them. I will be talking to my OB about what she recommends for myself, DH, and our two daughters leading up to the birth probably as soon as I reach 32ish weeks because we'll have a better idea of what's happening with the virus then. 

I haven't spoken to the in-laws yet about holidays, but we will not be traveling with the baby (I will check with our pediatrician on specific recommendations). We alternate Thanksgivings and it's their off year anyways but we usually do drive to them at some point over Christmas which will not be happening this year.  We will likely be also keeping him away from any visitors that have not self-quarantined. Once we do feel comfortable having him around more people, my guess is we will expect them to wear masks, wash hands, etc. when holding him. 

ETA - Once we get a clear picture from OB/pediatrician, get our plan set in stone, we are planning on texting both sets of grandparents and DH and my siblings and spouses so everyone gets the same message. We know that some of them will be pissed, but they will have to deal.

surlyjaneausten

@crizz13 I love the idea of getting the doctors’ opinions too. Definitely going to do that. Both my SILs and several other relatives live in a different state and work and have varying levels of socialization. I definitely don’t want to expose our family to those germs, especially having been around no one but our parents these last several months. I think it’s a topic I’ll have to approach with my husband and the extended family as it gets closer. 

dumbledoredies

@crizz13 that's a really tough decision to make. I wish I had advice but I really have no idea what I would doif I was invited to a wedding right now!

@surlyjaneausten I already mentioned to my mom that it's highly unlikely we will be at Thanksgiving this year. Even if covid wasn't an issue I dont think having a baby and going to a gathering a week-ish later is doable. I remember how much of a mess I was for 2 weeks after giving birth to DS, lol.  I have no idea what to do about Christmas though 😫 I'm trying not to worry about it right now since it's still so far away.

@krystrist2014 I forgot about Halloween!!! I'm going to be so bummed if we cant go trick or treating and pass out candy. Booooooo go away virus!

surlyjaneausten

@dumbledoredies yeah being due a few days before thanksgiving gives me a pass to get out of that day. I don’t remember how I felt a month after my son was born, but I’m pretty sure I felt drunk from lack of sleep. And there wasn’t a pandemic at that time. Also i just realized that your name says dumbledore dies, not dumbledories. Thanks for spoiling Harry Potter for me!!! 😂 

babywiik

@krystrist2014 and @dumbledoredies it'll be disappointing if Halloween isn't the same, but if trick or treating isn't an option you could always do what my mom did (who was not a fan of having to bring us trick or treating) we would dress up and go back and forth from the front door to the back door and she would run through the house and pass out all the treats herself, sometimes throwing on a wig or or some easy costume so we'd get a surprise when the door opened😂 not nearly as exciting as but we got treats which was I what I cared about the most😅

1sttimemomma98

@babywiik omg I love that idea! what a memorable way to celebrate, and still get all the goodies!!

krystrist2014

@babywiik lmao! That’s hilarious and creative! 

lindz42

I've been worried about the holidays a lot, but mainly because I don't know what to expect with postpartum recovery. My family is kinda big and get togethers get complicated since my parents are divorced and we also visit with relatives who travel in from out of state. DH's family is small and practically requires us to make an appearance for Thanksgiving because they don't invite anyone else... In the past, we've been asked to commit to holiday plans as early as September. We're always the ones who end up driving to 3 different places. I don't want to feel pressured to do that so everyone can meet the baby, but I also don't want everyone visiting us either, so maybe we'll pass on Thanksgiving this year. Then with Christmas, I don't even know. DH is a shift worker so can't always make holidays, and MIL has "rescheduled" holidays-- we even had a rescheduled NEW YEARS EVE one year. I end up exhausted attending all of the festivities. I want to have our own family traditions. Really hoping we can start setting boundaries with the holidays... 

laurenmicheley

On the note of Covid-19; what are you all doing regarding parents/in-laws/siblings? We live about 45 mins for either of our families and they will want to meet our baby to hold and love on him. Normally, I'm in the mindset of wash your hands and go wild, but with the virus, it's really hard to know what to do. I was thinking about asking my parents to isolate for 14 days (which shouldn't be a huge problem as they're olds and mostly hang out at home, together), HOWEVER my 30 year old sister lives with them and she has been doing a lot of socializing. I'm not sure if she would really isolate. I know if I ask the 3 of them to do it, they will put up an argument about it and tell me that it's blown out of proportion etc, but my parents will ultimately abide by my wishes because they want to meet their grandson. I fear that my sister will say she will, but will be loosey-goosey about it and possibly spread to baby, DH, or me. My in-laws have no issue isolation, they'll do whatever we ask, but their house is a free-for-all and there are people in-and-out on a regular basis. I know that they will make sure my BIL and SIL (who should be in school, but college dorms are closed) will isolate, so I'm not too worried about that, but I'm concerned about our cousin who lives there and some other kid who also lives there spreading to my in-laws and ultimately to us, as well. The third (and to me) most tricky is my Brother and SIL. I'm extremely close to my SIL and obviously want her to meet baby ASAP. Here's the but, they have 3 kids, 2 of which will be returning to school (part-time) in September (unless something changes before then). What do we do? This is turning into a logistical nightmare, I want our families to meet our baby, but also am super concerned about keeping him safe. I also want him to be held by people other than DH and myself, for developmental reasons. Maybe this is a good question for the pediatrician when I interview him/her?

Sorry for the giant stream-of-consciousness! This is generally what's on my mind, right now.

crystalmir91385

@crizz13 we have family getting married October 3rd. If it wasn't local, I wouldn't be going. I'm still planning on being a wallflower and maintaining distance.

@surlyjaneausten @dumbledoredies I got out of the hospital ON Thanksgiving in '16 and we went straight to in inlaws for lunch. LOL 
We went to local family get togethers for Christmas. My mom drove down for a couple days, but that was the extent of it. I'm betting this year we will see my parents, DH immediate family, and that's it.

crizz13

@warmwinter I would definitely try to establish boundaries for your own little family around holidays (and everything really) as soon as you can because it will make everything so much easier. DD1 was 6 weeks old come Christmas time and we travelled to DH's family. It was big, overwhelming, loud, and I was miserable both mentally and physically exhausted. 

@laurenmicheley In regards to school aged children, I will be asking our pediatrician and relying heavily on his advice. A lot will depend on what school looks like. My oldest will be in kindergarten this fall, number 2 will be in daycare full time, and I teach fifth grade. If I need to pull her out of school during my maternity leave, I will, but I will wait to see what the COVID numbers are like as it gets closer. Our plan is to give the same information to everyone regards our wishes about self quarantining before being around the baby. They can take it or leave it. To be honest, I don't think being held by other people the first few months will really impact a baby developmentally - they're really just trying to adapt to be outside of the womb. :-) 

ETA - I am NOT a germaphob in general and didn't put any restrictions on people with my babies prior to the pandemic. 

mtengl

Hey Everyone, I had started here at the very beginning but my first half of my pregnancy had a lot of anxiety and I disconnected from social media altogether from March until about a week ago... I hope I can jump back in and feel bad for not taking part in the Bump up to this point since it was a huge part of my first pregnancy....

crizz13

In holiday news - you can pre order family pajamas on Burt's Bees today. https://www.burtsbeesbaby.com/2020-family-jammies

I'm a sucker for matching pajamas for my kids and one of our holiday traditions is they have a Christmas Eve box they open every year with new pajamas and something little. 

acdc1109

@warmwinter I'm actually planning to use baby as a reason to establish new traditions. Both sets of grandparents are local so we usually end up going at least 2 places every holiday. Christmas is especially busy because the 23rd is DH's birthday so in-laws that day, then Christmas eve is my extended family plus church and then Christmas day is our house, then in-laws, then my parents. Not sure how were going to do it, but at least one Christmas will be changed to the next day (I'd actually prefer to go nowhere on Christmas but it's not my hill to die on so I'm willing to compromise). We will be staying home for Thanksgiving but I think that's only going to be for this year because I'm due 11/23 which is 3 days before Thanksgiving. If I still happen to be pregnant then we'll probably go to my in-laws. 

mtengl

@warmwinter
I totally get holidays and the pressures of them. My family doesn't make a big deal about them but from year one it has always been a fight with my in laws. So my rule with my DD was I wouldn't travel out of state because it would require a plane ride, until she had her 1year vaccine for measles. She turned one in January so that exempted us from holidays last year. I don't know if you have to drive or fly but you can always say you are worried about traveling this year because the baby is so young (which is legitimate especially right now with COVID and before then holiday time is usually flu season and your baby will be to young for a flu shot).

I feel like if I have a medical reason it is less of a fight, even though I still get guilted but it is your choice since it is your baby. Plus baby will still be sooo young that you all will still be adjusting and getting into routines. I have no intentions of traveling this year and it will be up to them if they want to visit or not.

bserena

@crizz13 my mom always did that when we were growing up, Christmas Eve we would all open a present which was a new set of PJ's, lol and then read The Night Before Christmas. It is one of my favorite memories and traditions and I hope to start that back up with baby

Ecat504

mtengl welcome back, if you haven't dropped an intro post yet, you should!

@ everyone - I'm opting out of Thanksgiving & Christmas this year. We'll do something *really* small at our house, my SOs parents are p!$$ed. but I'm already over it lol

windywoman

I have been thinking about holidays and family seeing the new baby and I decided I am not making any decisions about anything yet. I honestly haven't been planning anything beyond a few weeks ahead because everything has been changing so quickly. 

On another note.... I QUIT MY JOB TODAY! My last day is the 24th. I hadn't been on here for few days because I was kinda anxious and just not in the right frame of mind. Anyway I went in to my manager and long story short I discussed my fears with the rising numbers and people not self quarantining after travel and was told there is nothing they can do about it and that I couldn't work from home. Then my manager told me she told one of the notorious non mask wearers that I complained about him and was really upset. Never mind the fact that it is mandatory but you know the hysterical pregnant woman is upset. So DH and I discussed and figured out that we will be fine if I quit and become a SAHM. I am excited and it feels so freeing honestly.