Anyone else dealing with these things and feeling alone? Wanted unplanned pregnancy videochat buddy

peacefulafricanrose

Hey everyone I'm due in December and this was not planned. I want to have kids but didn't intend for that to happen in the middle of a pandemic. My husband is very stressed out and does not want this pregnancy at all. He hasn't been very supportive cause he is freaking out. Frankly he's stressing me out and I'm trying not to show it but he's been really distant and sometimes I feel like he is trying to pick fights with me. I'm looking for someone in a similar situation to talk to via phone or video chat. I feel very alone and everyone I know is either single and can't relate or older and already a mom but when I try to talk to them a lot of times their comments and advice comes off as patronizing af. I know they mean well but I often come away from the conversation feeling worse. I don't want to talk to my family about it and just act like everything is great but it's not. If you are going through some of the same things and want someone to relate to please respond.

laurenspdx

I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. It is certainly a confusing time to be pregnant, whatever the situation, but not having a supportive partner can really make things so much more difficult. I just wanted to comment and share that I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Have you tried finding a professional to talk to? There are lots of folks doing online and virtual counseling these days and they may help you work through this in a really productive way and give you tools to help you cope. If you’re not sure where to start, your local Planned Parenthood may be able to provide mental health referrals. I hope you’re able to find some peace and support, whatever form that may take! 

shelmcclel

I’m so sorry girl! I agree with @laurenspdx I have gone to therapy for years and I have found it so helpful! It sounds to me like maybe you’re having a tough time figuring out how or what to communicate to your husband. Therapy can help you talk through all of the possible ways to do it. And they’re objective - so not like a friend or family member. I’ve totally been there with my husband - not about this issue but a million others, including when we were TTC. Where I am we have PP, but we also have something called The Center for Women which offers everything you can think of - healthcare, wellness support, activity groups, training/workshops. If individual therapy isn’t an option for you, maybe you can find a similar organization in your area that might be able to help you figure this out. I know this is a really hard time, but I promise you’ll get to the other side of this one way or another & you’re gonna be a great momma to that baby!!

peacefulafricanrose

Thanks for commenting, therapy isn't really my thing (I'm pretty closed off in real life especially for a woman) and I definitely couldn't get him to go but thanks for the positive feedback.

elmich3

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. That sounds really hard, and I can totally feel your confusion, sadness and loneliness. I have no great advice but had to let you know you're on my heart and I will add you to my prayers. For what it's worth, or as not helpful as this may sound, I whole heartedly know this baby will bring such joy to your life and you will be blessed. Impossible to see through circumstances, I know. And I'm probably coming across like all the other unhelpful people, but I genuinely wanted to tell you that   I'm rooting for you and someone is praying for you and your baby