Weekly Randoms w/o 5/11

inthewoods23

capnjackharkness

I missed the BROWNIE Peggy post!!!!!  

inthewoods23

You know, I was thinking about it this weekend. I wonder if the reason why so many Peggys get mad when we tell them they're breaking the rules is because we basically self moderate the board? Maybe that's why so many people think we're rude because they're not being told off by a mod, but a regular member?

legallykate

@inthewoods23 I think it's that plus just defensiveness from having it pointed out that the board rules are conspicuously posted. It is just so baffling to me that anyone would just join and immediately post without seeing what the board is all about. I am pretty sure I lurked for weeks before joining in 2017 because I was scared of looking dumb. But then again I had been a pretty regular knottie before that and understood that different boards have different vibes. 

mvt2003

@inthewoods23 Back in the day, the boards used to be self-moderated, with certain board members having mod powers, which blows my mind and seems to be a much better way to run things IMO.

I do agree with @legallykate that people dislike having their own foolishness pointed out to them. I don't know how anyone in the age range of 20-50 does not understand online message boards tbh. I was a regular on the WW message boards 10+ years ago, and understood quickly that each board has it's own culture. That's just how message boards work! 

krash_

Does it seem like Admin waits until the Peggy gets a chance to defend herself before closing it? Like there is clearly a good reason they ignored all the pinned posts that say *READ THIS FIRST.*

inthewoods23

@mvt2003 We'd certainly shut crap down much faster!

@krash_ I've always wondered how it works because I know there have been times where EVERYBODY comes in and says something and threads will be pages long before it's finally shut down. Do they not see these things until somebody clicks on the report button?

inthewoods23

*TW* so baby shower question because I can't decide what to do...

My neighbor was/is scheduled to have a virtual baby shower at the end of the month. We got an invite via FB which mentioned invites with additional details will be mailed. I never got one. So.... Do I send a gift? I don't even know where they're registered since I didn't get the mailed invite.

I sort of have the "boo you got married after me and are having a baby before me" attitude about the whole thing which I know I should just get over. We did go to high school together so I feel I probably should get her something... And if I do, how much is reasonable?

mvt2003

@inthewoods23 In all honesty, I would probably be pissy that I didn't get registry info or a paper invite (if they said one was coming) but I'm petty like that. I think if you really wanted to, you could hunt down the registry, since there are fairly limited options now that Babies R Us is closed, but I would probably buy an outfit or two and call it a day personally. 

capnjackharkness

@inthewoods23

Is it possible they were planning to send out more info in invites later when it was going to be an in-person shower and now aren't cause it's virtual?  Or was it scheduled for virtual the entire time?

But I agree with @mvt2003 you can prolly check like Target/Walmart and Amazon and see if you find a registry.  But something small like a pack of onesies or some burp cloths or something and be done is what I'd do.

asf0613

@inthewoods23 i am a stickler for paper invites and hand written thank you's.  i guess in these times an "evite" would be appropriate, but FB? bleh, that irks me.  maybe i'm petty too lol. 
i'd do a quick google search for registry because they're easy enough to find. 
i'll give you how i base what i give, though it's just the way i do things    this might sound bad, but i usually tier my gift giving amounts.  if it's someone i am super close to (family/best friends), i usually do $100-$150 depending on registry options available.  If it's someone i (or DH) work with but don't typically hang outside of work OR a more casual friend, i do $50ish? $75?  i also like to refer to what people have given me for past events so i don't go overboard or cheap out.  
i haven't thought about if i would spend more/less based on current situation, though i guess for me personally i might do a little less because a) my cut salary and b) there wasn't really an expense in putting together the shower and i'm not "covering my plate," so to speak.

inthewoods23

@mvt2003 yeah, I didn't know if it would be wrong if I never pointed out that I never got an invite. Or would it be weird in the future to be like "oh yeah, we didn't attend because we never got the info". I partly asked this question because it's a weird etiquette conundrum that I don't know what to do about!

@capnjackharkness I think they originally planned on holding it in person but held off on sending any kind of invite with the stay at home orders to see if they would get extended (which they did) so they switched to the virtual shower.

@asf0613 yeah for an acquaintance I give myself like a $50 max budget. Something that won't break the bank but it's just 1 small item. Currently saving up for a new Tesla, so would it be weird for me to be cheap on the gift and come home many weeks later with a shiny new car?  At the same time, I should care what people think about how I spend my money. I have been waiting for this car for like 2 years!


I'm also a little salty because over the weekend I watched a USPS driver, a UPS drive, AND a FedEx driver all come to their door on the same day with, I'm presuming, baby items. Like COME ON. Cuz of course their front door faces our living room. I liked it better when I could see their cat in the doorway haha.

capnjackharkness

@inthewoods23 Yeah, everything is a bit of a mess right now which is why I'd cut them a bit of slack.  Who knows if paper invites even went out, depending on when they changed to a virtual shower and/or the news updates they were waiting on.  We were supposed to do a baby shower for my sister on June 6, and are now 'cancelling' it and moving it to July 5 we think.  But depending on what the restrictions are in place, we may have either a more traditional shower, or a spaced out 'drop in' shower, or just a virtual shower.  So I was going to do an evite/FB group just as more of a "save the date" type thing, and then we can send out legit invites later.  But this whole thing is difficult because we don't know what all we can/should/will be allowed to do by the time things arrive. (hence the FB/evite, so we can message and let people know if/when things change faster than delayed mail)

inthewoods23

@capnjackharkness yeah the FB invite was pretty much just a heads up. My friend had invites sent out for her shower and when they extended our stay at home I messaged her what they were going to do now and she said they were cancelling it and the hosts sent out letters to everyone to notify of the change. I liked that they had sent a simple shower game for us to do - baby bump or beer belly. lol. I'm guessing they had already printed the pages out and didn't want them going to waste so they sent them along with the letter.

inthewoods23

I should probably mind my own beeswax.... but why is there a private group called "Am I pregnant XXXX" and why are the moderators people I recognize? What is the story behind this?

asf0613

@inthewoods23 where do you see private groups? and weird.

inthewoods23

@asf0613 they're at the bottom of the main community page

bows22

@inthewoods23 well that’s interesting 

asf0613

@inthewoods23  oh i had no idea! but yes interesting

kpearse99

@inthewoods23 ooooooo....

krash_

@inthewoods23 very interesting.

inthewoods23

For fun a couple days ago I had also gone pages down into all the "most popular groups" and I noticed there's one for TTGPers that participate in the IF thread so you could still follow along with each other when everyone is in different BMBs or are still in TTGP.

I kinda want to join some private groups but I feel it would be super weird. I don't know anyone outside TTGP

_orchid_

@inthewoods23 a few days late but I would probably do a $30-40 gift, maybe even just a pack of diapers and clothes/burp cloth. Whenever something is going on with a neighbor in my neighborhood we usually give small gifts like that. Honestly I'd be kind of relieved if I didn't get the information for a virtual baby shower bc that sounds like way more torture than a regular one - at least at a regular one you get food and cake. 

_orchid_

Also hi! I haven't been posting lately bc we're self benched right now and with everyone home it's been hard to log on. I usually don't get time to come on until night time and sometimes not even then bc this is me right now

asf0613

since we've been discussing some board organization, i'm wondering how everyone feels about converting the TTCAL thread to be monthly instead of weekly?  i know we don't always create one and certain weeks there isn't a lot of participation, but i know i personally find times i want to vent on things related to that.

krash_

@asf0613 we should probably do the same with the TFAS thread. I do think things are slow in TTGP in general right now because we are the only ones crazy enough to continue to TTC during a pandemic   

manillabar

@asf0613 and @krash_ I think that makes sense for both of those, at least for now until (or if) things get busy again

capnjackharkness

TTCAL used to be a LOT busier and the weekly thread was needed, but no reason they can't put it monthly since things have slowed down for the time being.

inthewoods23

That moment you realize the Peggy is a repeat offender 

I thought the name looked familiar

coldlife2

inthewoods23 said:

@mvt2003 We'd certainly shut crap down much faster!

@krash_ I've always wondered how it works because I know there have been times where EVERYBODY comes in and says something and threads will be pages long before it's finally shut down. Do they not see these things until somebody clicks on the report button?

*lurker*

I think it's absolutely this. I don't think they look at anything unless someone reports something. I was scrolling through the list of boards and saw that a couple of the ones that are almost never posted in had new posts, the health board, I think, for one. And it was one of those stupid book spam posts. It had been up for days at that point. And then it was removed after I reported it. 

capnjackharkness

@InTheWoods23 Guessing it'll be a monthly occurrence.  :: eye roll ::

mvt2003

@inthewoods23 @capnjackharkness it really is precious that she didn't follow the link that you posted that goes DIRECTLY to the only thread you can post an HPT photo in, and instead went to 1st tri and created her own post titled "what does a positive pregnancy test really look like." I assume we'll see her every month now until she gets her BFP. 

inthewoods23

@mvt2003 yes that's what totally blew my mind. How do you not click on the link to a specific thread but instead direct yourself to the board. Don't be surprised if she comes around sometime in the week of the 8th or 15th next month...

mvt2003

@inthewoods23 well, I'll probably be on progesterone by that point, so let me at her. Progesterone makes me super fun to be around  

inthewoods23

@mvt2003 this will be you in a few weeks 

capnjackharkness

@mvt2003 At least you'll have an excuse!  I'm just a raging bitch with no patience ALL the time.  (although seriously, all this quarantine and 100% telework has done WONDERS for me mentally).  Just keep in mind, I still think friends can start immediately! 

mvt2003

@capnjackharkness I 100% made a "friend" during my last IVF cycle, I was so over it haha!