A very sad mother's day

mgpoem2012

This is mostly to vent. I will also but looking for opinions, but keep in mind since my support system isn't a good one right now, this is more to vent.

Some mother's get cards, others flowers. 

I got nothing. Except being  shamed during admist this covid 19 outbreak. 

I wanted to have my 2 year old to have a window visit with my terminal mother and we stayed outside longer than expected. I felt the need to go to the bathroom, so I went inside. I felt the need to go a second time, so I did. I felt a cramp in my lower back when I did and so it took longer for me to get back outside. ( I have placenta previa and am suppose to monitor anything cramp related closely.)

      Upon opening the door, my daughter rushed inside and right into my mother's arms. There was no safe way to prevent this and with the damage being done as I cannot lift or run, so my mother asked for a picture. So I did it.

I got home to my angry boyfriend who had my phone linked to share all my photos. No happy mother's day, no nothing. Except the lack of a chance to explain my actions. Previously he had made the decision for not only himself but for my daughter and i, that we wouldn't be around other people, including family. There was no discussion, just his decision. 

"You don't even give me a moment to explain without condemning me." I texted him

"There's nothing to explain. My position was crystal clear, there was no room for misunderstanding or interpretation. You went against it, and there really isn't anything that can justify it. You broke my trust." He told me

"Doesn't matter the circumstances, just as long as I broke YOUR rule right?" I asked.

"No, just that you selfishly ignored my WISHES"

"You've been ignoring mine for two months. And you won't even bother to let me explain why. THAT is selfish. Because your feelings are the only ones that seem to warrant merit." 

"If you say so. It's not like I do shit like putting my life at risk to get some fucking ice cream to satisfy your cravings" did I mention I was pregnant? He went on "With any luck, I'll just get it, stroke out and die; and you'll be free from my oppressive regime with a fat stack of cash in your pocket to live off of"

He later went on to ignore me and my daughter and to watch movies in the office rather than have family time

   So I told him " congrats  this may be the shittest mother's day…"

    He replied " congrats, you may have killed your mother today."

It seems to me he has pretty clear beliefs on his opinion of me. I'm the one who is at fault. The one without help, and without aid, and apparently without a partner.

Happy mother's day I guess.

maelove

I am really sorry to hear you had such a horrible mothers day and that you don't have a good support system at this time. These are hard times and the guidelines and restrictions change on the daily. Don't be too hard on yourself. I would have a serious conversation with your SO about how you are feeling and make sure to communicate how hurtful his words were. Hopefully you can both just move on because it seems you have enough stress in your life! Best wishes.