Plus Size Check In :: 5/5/2020

dreamscapes_

How’s everyone doing this week?

willashbaby

SSDD. The weight gain is personally bugging me out though. I worked so hard to loose the weight that I have that's it's hard to see it creeping up. Quarantine isn't helping either. I'm def going to make more of an effort to get outside and go for long walks. I used to easily get close to 10k steps a day plus multiple flights of stairs at work. This is rough. 

sejica

@willashbaby yes! I was coming here to say similar. I'd like to stay on the low end of the healthy spectrum this time as I'm 20lbs heavier than when I got pregnant with my first. But my Dr (same for all 3 PG) is not giving consistent advice. First time she was like no more than 25lb, k, fine I stuck to that okay. Now she's nonchalant and is saying 25-35, whatever. Maybe because I kept it right around 25 with each of the prev 2? Though I only lost 15 of that each time, which is how I ended up here. It just seems so strange that at 20lb lighter she was more strict. But it's super hard psychologically, like I know I need to grow this baby, but how come it can't come out of my existing ample extra energy stores?

conni0205

I’m stressed about the weight gain as well. I haven’t lost nearly enough of the weight from my last pregnancy. I’m trying to talk my husband into buying a treadmill or bike that we can both use! I need to stay close to my current weight or I know I will be so sad after this. 

dreamscapes_

Maybe it’s because I’ve been fat my whole life or because I also have a mobility disability, but I genuinely don’t personally care if I lose weight or not after the pregnancy is over. I know it’s a very unpopular opinion, but I just... it’s not really something that concerns me at this time. I’m not saying that other people are wrong in wanting to lose the weight or be more active or what have you, it’s just not something that bothers me. I can barely get around the grocery store without needing a break thanks to my back. 🤷🏼‍♀️

karmba

I haven't weighed myself yet so I have no idea if I've gained or lost.  My last pregnancy, I lost quite a bit of weight in the beginning and gained most of it back plus a small amount more for a very small net gain.  I don't go to the doctor until 5/21 and I don't plan on finding out my weight until then.  I will say that in quarantine I'm eating a lot less fried food and now no alcohol, so I assume I'll lose weight again in the beginning.

jbal918

Pregnancy seems like my only way to not gain weight lol... I guess because I follow the GD diet when pregnant and I was sick a lot, I didn’t gain last time. So far I’m constant so I hope to stay that way. I really want to loose weight after to be that Mom that can run around and play without feeling exhausted. 

willashbaby

@dreamscapes_ we're def all different. I've always been plus as well, I weighed 330 when I got pregnant with my son. Since then I lost nearly 135 lbs. Gastric sleeve/ obvious diet changes/ and shit load of exercise. I'm still plus, the lowest I got to was 196, so seeing the number creep back up is very hard for me. I never knew how bad I actually used to feel (physically) until I lost weight and felt different. I hope this stays a place where I can actually talk about this, if not, I won't. 

dreamscapes_

@willashbaby I get that. But as for me, I didn’t want the plus size threads to be all weight talk. But if that’s what people want to use them for, that’s fine, I just won’t participate. 🤷🏼‍♀️

willashbaby

I copied this from November 2020 if we can use it going forward, they don't need to be all weight talk but for many it's certainly part of it:

FTM? Or STM+?

How are far along are you?

How are you feeling?

How are you feeling about weight gain or potential weight gain? 

Have you bought any maternity clothes? Where are you finding plus-size clothes?

Anything concerns or anything else to add? 

dreamscapes_

Yeah, that wasn’t there when I was getting ready to post last week. I looked at several different month groups and none had it. Didn’t think to check yesterday. 

charmedlifex3

@dreamscapes_ I completely agree. I have a heart condition which gives me "exercise intolerance" - anything more than swimming, or walking, my heart gets going too hard and I start having major issues. I've gotten very comfortable with my 14 /16 body, and am actually happier with how I look and feel than when I was a size 8! 
Running with it;) 
@willashbaby The heaviest I got was 260. My happy place seems to hover around 200 - if I don't watch what I eat (within reason), exercise to a level I am comfortable, that's where I land, give or take ten pounds. My heaviest weight was actually not when I gave birth - I gained another 12 pounds AFTER birth because I was bed-bound for four months. I've really had an awakening to my body being about "what can it DO" not what can it look like. I am so grateful to be able to walk on my own. to pick up my son. To carry another pregnancy. As long as I can DO the rest ... meh. It sounds like some of your anxiety around it creeping up is the potential loss of ability?
@karmba Yeahhhhh - I definitely had already gained the quarantine 15 before pregnancy hit, lol! 

FTM? Or STM+? STM

How are far along are you? 6 weeks today!

How are you feeling? exhausted, and my tachycardiarythmia started acting up again a couple days ago. I'm giving it a few days, but if it continues, i'll need to call my MFM and cardiologist to get a stronger bloodthinner. We thought this might happen, but I had hoped to get through my first tri. 

How are you feeling about weight gain or potential weight gain? I have a very short torso, so I "show" early and a lot. I am not looking forward to the point where my body fights me on simple movements - rolling over in bed - but the weight gain itself I am not overly concerned with. I actually lost almost 10 pounds the first few weeks after finding out (morning sickness hit hard and fast) and have been creeping back up. I'm hoping this baby is a little less... energetic... than my son. Both inside and out. My son used to "run" back and forth across my body, so my belly would be distended dramatically to the left or right, sometimes back and forth in quick sucession and he used to throw me off balance. 

Have you bought any maternity clothes? Where are you finding plus-size clothes? I am on the very tail end of straight sizes, so I've been able to find some XL and XXL things at normal "maternity" stores - Old Navy and Gap seem to run a little on the larger side, so I shopped their winter clearance.  I'm mildly concerned since I am starting out 20 pounds heavier than the last time and ended up in XXL maternity, that I might not fit into XXL by the end,but with my first I gained 10 pounds like the week I found out, and I've actually lost a little - that it will even out. Swap.com, Thredup.com and Poshmark have been a great place to get some things. I like to order a few brands from these places relatively cheaply, and see what I like (fit, quality) before dropping a bunch of money on retail. 

Anything concerns or anything else to add?  Last time I got HUGE - like seven months and people were convinced I was over due. Some of it was being on bedrest from 32 weeks on, some of it was swelling. I am really hoping this time since we KNOW about my heart condition and can manage it, I can remain more active through pregnancy! 

willashbaby

@the_road_to_oz it def. is. There were so many things I used to not do because I literally didn't fit. Restaurants I wouldn't go to because of the chairs, bars I wouldn't go to with friends because I was uncomfortable squeezing past people, forget getting on a plane, no way. I will honestly say I'm terrified of getting back there again and being a sleeve "failure". But I'm dealing, trying to remind myself that no matter what I can get back to where I was. 

karmba

Coming back to fill this out....

FTM? Or STM+?  STM, 3.5 yo DS

How are far along are you? 6w1d

How are you feeling? Tired, a bit overwhelmed by work.

How are you feeling about weight gain or potential weight gain? Indifferent

Have you bought any maternity clothes? Where are you finding plus-size clothes?  Last time I bought a few pairs of motherhood maternity pants, I haven't gotten them out yet but I'm hoping they still fit.  My starting weight is pretty close to where I was last time.  I actually only bought a few maternity tops - I could get away with tank tops and cardigans for the most part.  This time around my work has changed their dress code and I can wear jeans most days, so I'll probably try to find some maternity jeans.  Last time I just wore black dress pants, dresses and yoga pants at home.  So if anyone has any good suggestions for maternity jeans for a short, plus size gal - send them my way!

Anything concerns or anything else to add?  My first appointment is about two weeks away and I'm getting a little anxious.  I just need to get past the first ultrasound and to ease my mind a bit.  The first time I was pregnant, I had a blighted ovum and I'm just hoping that isn't the case this time.

dreamscapes_

@the_road_to_oz in spoiler for TW: mention of past abuse and medical assholery

I also can’t do intense exercise, but due to severe chronic pain. I have degenerated and herniated discs in my lower spine, as well as no cartilage in my hip joints. The orthopedist said that I should be a candidate for surgery for either of those issues, but I’m “too young”. So I literally can’t do the kind of exercise necessary in order to lose weight. The only exercise I can do is walking (but I have to stop when I’m in pain), swimming (which I can easily overdo because I don’t feel the pain until I’m out of the water), and climbing to our third floor walk up, which is getting harder over time. I get around with a rollator right now. I’ve been misdiagnosed as “you’re just fat” so many times in my life, even when I first thought I might have asthma back in high school. There are also psychological considerations for me, because my family has a long history of substance abuse and addiction. Instead of turning to drugs or alcohol, I went to food. Then add on defensive weight due to sexual trauma at a young age. I also have major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety, panic disorder, PTSD, and dermatillomania, which is a body focused repetitive behavior that involves me compulsively picking at “imperfections” on my skin, usually until it’s a open wound. When we first started seeking help getting pregnant, the first RE we saw had us go through ALL of the testing, billed us, billed our insurance, and then once he had all the results (and payments), said “by the way, you’re too fat for me to care for”. The second RE we saw said “you WILL have a c section, you WILL develop gestational diabetes”. Not “these are risks”, but “you WILL”. Like it was a foregone conclusion, not just a possibility. He also refused to give me any treatment and kept saying I needed bariatric surgery (but refused an egg harvesting procedure because “the anesthesia wouldn’t work on someone my size”). Both of these doctors also somehow missed the CANTALOUPE SIZED CYST on my left ovary. I ended up having surgery to resect it last August. I’m actually dreading my first prenatal appointment next week because it’s with a doctor I know isn’t going to listen to me about my weight and is going to harp on it, because that’s what she did last time I saw her, telling me that I’m irresponsible and not being smart. Unfortunately, it’s one practice and you see who’s available. 

TLDR, there’s a lot more at play for me regarding my weight than just “intake vs output”. So... yeah. Weight is hard no matter what your history is. I do feel that there are worse things to be in life than fat. 

FTM? Or STM+? FTM

How are far along are you? 7w/3d

How are you feeling? I’m exhausted. We had an errand we had to run earlier and when we came home and I got up the stairs, the room was spinning so badly.

How are you feeling about weight gain or potential weight gain? Indifferent. If I lose, I lose. If I gain, I gain.

Have you bought any maternity clothes? Where are you finding plus-size clothes? 

I haven’t bought any yet aside from one pair of leggings from Torrid like two years ago when they were on clearance. Regular plus clothing, I usually stick with Torrid because they tend to have things I like better. As far as maternity, I’m a 28/30 and the only company I’ve found that goes up to my size is Yours. They’re so expensive, though, and I don’t think I can justify it right now. We live in central Florida, so I wear a lot of sundresses anyway. Our employer supplies our work clothes, and they have a special thing for pregnant people to wear when they can’t fit into their regular outfit anymore. I also recently bought a sewing machine, so I’ll probably make a few comfy empire waist dresses and go from there. Besides that, with my current weight, I probably won’t show until much much later in the pregnancy anyway.

Anything concerns or anything else to add? I don’t mean to upset anyone with my resistance to talking about weight. I know I have weird opinions. 

charmedlifex3

@dreamscapes_ I cannot STAND how (usually male) doctors think it's okay to talk down to women, especially overweight women, like that.
TW - medical issues / mental health

I've had minor issues my whole life which should have pointed to a heart problem - poor circulation, tachycardiarythmia, minor murmur in childhood. I was having STROKES after the birth of my son and a blood transfusion, and the doctor labeled it a "conversion disorder" - a mental health condition. Finally a doctor ordered a bubble study to "make sure they didn't miss anything" and were like... "Oh. There is a hole. Actually that explains everything, and it's not in your head." After that they started looking and found areas where microclots had done damage. Including damage to my eye, I lost vision in a large swath of my left eye permanently - a symptom they had deemed "classic  conversion disorder" 

Is changing doctors an option? I am driving an hour and a half to see a doctor that I feel safe and validated with. I know I will be having a controlled birth at 37 weeks though, so I feel comfortable with the drive. (either repeat csection or an induced VBAC)

dreamscapes_

@the_road_to_oz two for continued medical assholery

The absolute kicker for me (pun intended) was when we found out that I have a literal bone fusion in my right foot and that’s why I have pain there when I’ve been standing too long. It’s called a calcaneonavicular coalition, and what that means is that the calcaneus (heel bone) is fused to the navicular (a tiny bone on the top of my foot). It was misdiagnosed as a mild sprain SEVEN TIMES. We finally found out when a podiatrist sent me for an mri of my foot and, lo and behold, there’s cartilage fusing the bones together. It never showed up on an X-ray because the fusion isn’t bone. Apparently it’s usually a birth defect. I’m so sorry that happened to you, but I’m glad you have better care now. It’s so hard to find the right doctor. 

As far as my primary care physician, I love my doctor. She knows that I realize that my weight is an issue, but she also realizes that there’s more going on than just me overeating or something. She’s actually the first doctor I’ve ever had who doesn’t treat me like a walking pile of fat. With the OB, I’m giving this woman (Dr R) one more shot with this appointment. I like the doctor I regularly see in this practice (Dr L). She was actually willing to try putting me on Clomid as long as I understood the risks involved, so she wrote out a script for DH to get a semen analysis, but then we lost the script and then quarantine happened and then we got pregnant anyway somehow 😂 So if Dr R rubs me the wrong way again, I’ll ask to see Dr L for further appointments. They’re both in the same practice, and they’re already about an hour away from us. We used to live on that side of town, so it wasn’t too bad, but then we moved. But for the continuity of care with a doctor who actually listens in Dr L, I don’t mind the drive. 

mom_of_the_vogels

FTM? Or STM+? Expecting our 3rd baby

How are far along are you? 10 + 1

How are you feeling? Exhausted & nauseated

How are you feeling about weight gain or potential weight gain? So anxious. With each previous pregnancy I ended up about +15 after so I'm in much different shape now than I was 5 years ago. And about +100 from 10 years ago. I want to *feel* better and more capable and I know slimming down will help that so much. I had even considered/planned holding off a few months before really TTC to establish some more healthy habits but there's also a struggle with not waiting too long because as my well-intentioned but sometimes oblivious husband said - I'm no spring chicken.

Have you bought any maternity clothes? Where are you finding plus-size clothes? Not yet, last time I bought some onling at Walmart or in clearance at Motherhood Maternity. I'm a little worried about what will fit this time.

Anything concerns or anything else to add? I desperately want to start doing some kind of workout, but feel so awkward about it when my husband knows. I mean, if he is vaguely aware that I workout, whatever. But he's off work and always at home so him witnessing a workout or me having to announce I am working out so he's on kid duty is just nightmareish to me. Not that he would necessarily judge intentionally, but he's a bit of a bonehead sometimes and the idea of him saying things like "done already?" Or "is it really working?" Or telling me that he thinks carbs are a problem so I should ditch croutons on my salad is enough to make me want to stab him with a fork. I love the man, but he truly has no idea how offensive or hurtful his poorly thought out comments can be. 

So, sadly but truly, my ever present and completely oblivious husband is my biggest roadblock to working out. (Which feels completely pathetic to admit.)

karmba

@mom_of_the_vogels I totally understand a well-intentioned husband being a roadblock to working out.  My DH is training for a marathon and somehow his suggestions of working out and how he's willing to help grate on me.  I have no idea why because he's usually not too oblivious with how he suggests.

antera23

FTM? Or STM+?
STM

How are far along are you?
8+1
How are you feeling?
EXHAUSTED. My nausea is off and on. I’m very irritable. I also just want to get out of the house all the time. But I don’t think that’s related to pregnancy, lol. I’m also having a lot of food aversions.

How are you feeling about weight gain or potential weight gain? 

Ugh. Not great. When I got pregnant with my son I was the heaviest I had ever been after loosing 15lbs *TW* having a miscarriage and gaining all the weight back plus some *end TW*. Then I only gained 20lbs with my son (he was 10lbs 14oz), lost 30 after he was born and then gained 20 back. I’m at my highest weight ever and I don’t want to gain any. But also I only want carbs, salt, and sugar. Vegetables and meat sound disgusting. 

Have you bought any maternity clothes? Where are you finding plus-size clothes?
Nope. While I feel like I’m already starting to look permanently bloated everything still fits. My jeans were fitting better when I got pregnant so I’m hoping I had lost weight before and that will make up for any I put on. I found a lot of good options at motherhood maternity. I need a new pair of jeans and I might try that pinkblush site everyone was recommending. 

Anything concerns or anything else to add?

My dr. wants me to start taking random blood sugars and I don’t wanna! :-( 

conni0205

FTM? Or STM+?
STM

How are far along are you?
6 Weeks + 6
How are you feeling?
Right now good, nauseous on and off, sore breasts usually morning and night (especially after I take my bra off after work) May have to switch my eating habits to 4-5 small meals instead of 3 large meals like I did with my first. 
How are you feeling about weight gain or potential weight gain? 
Stressed, no weight gain yet, actually lost 2 lbs. I was excited to have a female doctor to talk to weight gain with now I have a male doctor who I will still bring it up to bc I want a plan to either gain no weight or gain less than 10-15 lbs. first child I gained 50 lbs and lost about 10 total since then. 
Have you bought any maternity clothes? Where are you finding plus-size clothes?
Not this pregnancy but I did with my first I got most from target (my favorite store pregnant or not), I got stuff from pink blush maternity last time as well. 
Anything concerns or anything else to add? 

No concerns getting excited for my first appointment in a little over a week! I just want to hear this babies sweet heartbeat.

conni0205

@antera23 I was cooking ground turkey the other night for tacos and I couldn’t eat them. I had to put avocados in mine instead bc the thought of ground turkey made me nauseous. I’m trying to eat meat but it is very hard right now 🙄

antera23

@conni0205 I’m sorry you’re going through food aversions too! I hope they go away for both of us quickly. 

danife

FTM? Or STM+?

FTM

How are far along are you?

9w5d

How are you feeling?

I’ve felt really good up until the last week or so, had only been dealing with painful boobs and tiredness. However, the nausea and headaches have started recently which is hard to function through. 

How are you feeling about weight gain or potential weight gain?

Indifferent. Its taken me a long time to accept my body and not stress about weight and I’m determined to not let pregnancy derail me. 

Have you bought any maternity clothes? Where are you finding plus-size clothes?

I can’t find professional business plus size cloths! I wear suits multiple times a week and slacks/nice blouses other days. I’m sure I won’t still be telecommuting when I need maternity cloths. I did buy a few pair of slacks from loft at a 70% off sale last week in a straight size 16 and 18 (I’m more plus size up top and can’t pull straight sizes off for blazers and blouses).  I have several open blazers with stretch that I’m hoping I can pull off through my pregnancy and have bought a few non-maternity stretchy blouses in larger sizes that were super clearanced out at Belk.

Anything concerns or anything else to add? 

My biggest concern now is when to tell my work I’m pregnant. My spouse and family are telling me to wait well past 12 weeks. I’m up for a huge promotion in July and while it is illegal to factor in my pregnancy in making the decision that doesn’t mean it won’t happen and it’d be nearly impossible to prove if it does.

conni0205

@danife I agree with your family. With my last child I was up for a promotion and told my boss around 8 weeks. I ended up not getting the promotion. I told him, and then right after he said it was between me and a coworker and they were going with her instead. Thankfully I did not want the promotion, I was planning on leaving and wanted her to further her career since I didn’t really have a future there. BUT still something I warn people about when telling their bosses.

antera23

I got a lovely lecture from my dad on Mother’s Day. He said I need to start eating better (how does he know I’m not eating well??) because if not I’m going to have another difficult birth. When I asked him what that meant he said because “I didn’t give birth” (c-section). Oh coooooool. So you think my weight is why I couldn’t vaginally deliver an almost 11lb baby when I was induced more than a week early and never dilated past a 3. Good to know you’re suddenly a doctor. 

conni0205

@antera23 ugh. I hate when men try to talk to me about pregnancy or birth. You keep doing whatever you are doing, you and only you know what’s best for you and baby (besides like a doctor lol). Their are so many factors that the average man doesn't know a single thing about. 

willashbaby

@antera23 that's AWFUL. I had my first meeting with my new doc today. She was frank about weight and def is encouraging me to gain as little as possible (since my son had shoulder dystocia) but she also said if I end up gaining a lot we'll just take it from there. Kind of an, it is what it is approach. I'm on the same page so there we go. I do have to do the early glucose screen again but it's NBD. I'll drink the sugar yuck when I get to my next appointment. By the time they're done with the NT scan and the exam they'll be ready to draw the blood. Hopefully it's nice and low like last time. 

dreamscapes_

@antera23 honestly, he sounds like an ass. I hate concern trolling.

jbal918

I have been to my OB three times and he has yet to take my weight or BP. I'm guessing it'll start at the 12 week appt... If not I'm going to ask. Its going to be too hard to switch in the middle of all this now!