Ask a 2nd+ time mom — The Bump
January 2021 Moms

Ask a 2nd+ time mom

It’s early days for all of us, but this was always a really helpful thread on my last board. Ask away!

Re: Ask a 2nd+ time mom

  • I have a question! I had a chemical pregnancy last month and got a positive HPT 5 days ago (I've tested obsessively ever since and have gotten darker lines each time!) I have felt some pulli g and tugging in my lower abdomen and the internet in all its vast wisdom says it's probably just my uterus growing and adjusting. Did you experience this? I'm super scared about any potential for a second chemical. I'm between 4 and 5 weeks of that matters.
    hippiegirl884hanfam2021
  • HappyFeet34HappyFeet34 member
    edited May 4
    @annalindsey18 totally normal. In fact that tugging/pulling has been my first sign of pregnancy with all four of my pregnancies. You will feel a lot of that for the next 9 months. 

    BFP #1 November 28, 2013 E Born August 3, 2014
    hanfam2021
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  • @HappyFeet34 Thank you so much for your reassurance!
    HappyFeet34hanfam2021
  • The tugging and pulling is normal. But if you've ever experienced a loss, it's also a very worrisome symptom. Because you know it's normal, but in the back of your mind you're worried that it's not. Jist breathe and don't worry. 
    HappyFeet34hanfam2021
  • Yes what @AshleyGemini24 said. PGAL brain is no fun. I’ve been through it a couple of times and this one is still making me question everything give our recent loss. (Hugs)

    BFP #1 November 28, 2013 E Born August 3, 2014
    stillcozyhanfam2021
  • Anyone already thinking about what to get new for the baby? This would be #4 for me and I have all the basics. I have 2 boys and a girl so we are pretty set on clothes. My youngest will be 3 in October so the “cool” baby gear is about 3 years old. Any new products that have come out that are needed or super helpful? Maybe there should be a separate thread for product recommendations we stumble upon? 

    Also if anyone has questions about baby wearing or cloth diapers, I have some experience that can help you get started! Not an expert but did it with all three kids already and can point you in some good directions to see if it’s something you want to do. 
    BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
     MaryNoghanfam2021
  •  MaryNog MaryNog member
    @hippiegirl884 we’ve already started making a list of what we might need. This will be our 2nd but we gave almost all our baby gear away. We’re trying to keep the purchase list pretty short, I think our biggest investment will be a new stroller. I’d love to get one with a bassinet attachment this time around. 
    hippiegirl884stillcozy
  • @MaryNog after my first 2 I thought we were done and we moved so many times (prior military family) the baby stuff was mostly given away. Then we had the third baby and re stocked on some of the things like car seats and bedding and crib...but the rock n play is now obsolete and probably shouldn’t use because of the recall. We didn’t really get any swings or seats because they take up a bunch of stuff. I did get rid of the double stroller and now I’m kicking myself. I wear the baby mostly but with a toddler and baby it’s nice to have a place to put both of them. I saw on a friends picture this sit me up mat that looked really cool!  
    BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
     MaryNog
  • I think the only thing we need is a new monitor, this is our 3rd and we have everything. First two are girls so new clothes if it’s a boy.

    BFP #1 November 28, 2013 E Born August 3, 2014
    hippiegirl884
  • stillcozystillcozy member
    @HappyFeet34 same here we are set on everything except clothes if it is a boy haha our monitor doesn’t work amazing these days but we will likely just get through with it. 
    April Siggy Challenge Social Distancing


    hippiegirl884
  • @hippiegirl884 I have two boys and a girl too! Solidarity. All we'll really need is a replacement for a rock n play 😬 all three slept in that thing for the first few months which now terrifies me. I keep hearing about people renting a snugaloo? Something like that? Since this is definitely our finale I don't really want to buy more stuff I'll get rid of in less than a year. 


    hippiegirl884stillcozy
  • @kat11223344 I hear you on that! I have the arms reach cospeeper and will most likely use that. The 2 year old is still sleeping in bed with me so that’s going to be interesting...she’s also still nursing so lots of transitions in her future. 
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    kat11223344marikkita12
  • @kat11223344 we need to replace the RnP too. My first slept in it for the first 6 weeks (Even thought I knew it wasn’t safe 😬) since it was the only thing he’d sleep in if he wasn’t in my arms. 

    Do you mean the Snoo sleeper? I know a few people who have bought one recently and didn’t feel it was a ton better than other bassinets. It does have a great resale though. 

    I think we’re going to get a Halo bassinet. I e actually seen a bunch on FB marketplace for a pretty good price. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
    hippiegirl884
  • stillcozystillcozy member
    Any other STM+ moms not get a significant reaction out of their partner /spouse? We have been trying for 7.5 months actively using tools and all I got from him was a “that’s good” comment. Ugh haha he is an amazing dad so I know he is happy but as a wife I feel disappointed. Maybe it is because most of the work for TTGP fell to me but dang I was disappointed in the lack of reaction. I should add he is very introverted and does not show emotion all that much but ugh was a parade that much to ask for? Totally kidding about the parade ;)
    April Siggy Challenge Social Distancing


    hanfam2021
  • aels12aels12 member
    @stillcozy my husband wasn’t convinced until a few days of tests showed the lines getting darker, maybe he just needs a little time for it to sink in!
    stillcozy
  • @stillcozy my DH was like great but not the reaction I thought. He’s color blind so when I showed him my squinter he was convinced the test was negative. About 15 mins after I told him he asked if I wanted anything from curbside pick up from the local brewery. I said I can’t and he was like oh right 😂
    Pregnancy Ticker
    stillcozywhitealbum29hanfam2021
  • lemommalemomma member
    @kat11223344 I used the RNP with my first, he slept in it next to my bedside for the first 3 months. Then with my second, I only let her sleep in it during the day when I was awake and right next to her. But even then it still brought me so much anxiety so we just got rid of it and decided not to use it at all this time around. 

    My 2nd slept in a bassinet next to my bed. It was completely flat, no incline option at all, no cushioning (mesh sides), but it was still tiny so I think she felt cozy in it, and it vibrates and I could reach over and sort of sway it when she cried. I was so thankful to find something else I loved that the baby would sleep in during those first 3 months! But who knows if Baby #3 will sleep in it, fingers crossed. 
    kat11223344
  • @stillcozy my hubs takes a pretty chill approach until 2nd/3rd tri when it seems “more real” to him. I think not growing a baby really separates them (obviously). With DS my husband did not understand at all how much the symptoms could wreak havoc! 
    stillcozy
  • carleym93carleym93 member
    @stillcozy Saaaame. This is our third and with every kid his reaction gets less exciting. 

    #1: Panic. “How are we going to do this?!” repeated daily. Eventual excitement. 

    #2: Relaxed. Kissed my belly as soon as pee stick dried. Showed up to every single ultrasound. Cried when he exited my womb. 

    #3: “We should probably get a van.” 😂😂
    stillcozyhanfam2021
  • @stillcozy I’m your H. It’s baby number 3 and PGAL. I had nearly no reaction. I quietly called out to my sleeping husband from the bathroom and was like “hey, you awake? btw I’m headed to the office but wanted to let you know I’m pregnant, in case you see the test”. 

    He was so disappointed that I was so matter of fact about it. I don’t know if it’s just fourth pregnancy or protecting my heart but I didn’t have the same reaction this time as with the others. As happy as I am. 

    BFP #1 November 28, 2013 E Born August 3, 2014
    hanfam2021
  • Talk to me about nausea ladies. I'm up to the max dose of unisom and b6 and it's doing nothing but make me tired and grumpy. Last go round I did diclegis which helped the nausea somewhat better but kept me a zombie and came with a hefty price tag. #2 I did zofran which was AWESOME but since then I keep getting invited to join class action lawsuits cause there's noise about it causing potential heart defects. Now research looks like it's saying maybe not, but still making me a little nervous. I'll talk to my ob and such, but just wondering if anyone has a miracle cure or drug? I keep food in my stomach, eat mints and sour candy like there's no tomorrow, the works. 


  • oaktree6oaktree6 member
    @kat11223344 Ugh, that’s brutal. Sorry it’s so bad! Only other thing that comes to mind is ginger... ginger tea, ginger ale, ginger candies. 
  • edited May 23
    @kat11223344 my dr gave me reglan. It helps alot. When I remember to take it. Before the nausea hits. But if I forget, it only takes 30 min or so to work
  • lemommalemomma member
    @kat11223344 b6 + Unisom didn’t work at all with either of my pregnancies. My nausea and vomiting were unbearable. The first pregnancy, I switched to the Diclegis and it was a miracle worker. As long as I took it when I was supposed to and didn’t miss any, I felt great. My second pregnancy, b6 + Unisom and Diclegis both had no effect :( ginger seemed to help a tiny bit but it was such a short term effect and I felt sick again quickly. Eating a lot of small meals so I was never hungry and never full helped A LOT. Other than that, I couldn’t find a miracle cure and just felt terrible all the time. I lost 5+ pounds in the beginning of pregnancy and only gained 15 overall... my doc still determined the baby and I were healthy though thankfully! 
  • @oaktree6 I tried taking ginger pills yesterday and it did help a little! It took the edge off I think. 
    @AshleyGemini24 I'm going to look into reglan! I don't think I've heard much about it- thanks!
    @lemomma it's definitely gotten worse with each pregnancy.... We're done after this so at least when I get through it'll be over over!


    lemomma
  • @kat11223344 a little late to respond, and you probably don’t want to hear my answer but it really depends on the person. With my first pregnancy with identical twin girls, I threw up all day, every day from week 6 to week 17.  It didn’t matter what I took. With my last pregnancy (a boy), I was nauseous, but for far less time and not nearly as strong (no puking), but again, nothing I took made any difference. There was some kind of sucker I ate last time that seemed to help a little (preggy pops or something?), but I don’t know if it was psychological or it actually helped. 

    At any rate, I hope it’s quick and you start to feel better soon!
    lemomma
  • lemommalemomma member
    @kat11223344 that’s what I keep telling myself too! This is our last baby for sure and I feel like that’s going to help me mentally get through a lot. 
  • @BuckeyeNut05 I totally agree! It's interesting to me that people have such unbelievably different experiences!
    @lemomma I'm sure I'll try and savor some things about this being the last time but this for sure isn't one of them!


    lemomma
  • hanfam2021hanfam2021 member
    edited May 30
    @annalindsey18 I'm like a month late to the party, but thank you so much for asking this question! I'm in the exact same boat (just a week or two behind you though) and I came here for exactly this!

    Edit: Can I ask any of you STMs: when do you relax? After the first ultrasound? This feels so real to me, I'm like a pendulum swinging from "This is going to be great, I can't wait to meet my healthy baby!" and "I can't get excited, I could start bleeding at any second" and I spend next to no time in the solidly rational "I'm going to be okay no matter what" middle.
    lemomma
  • @hanfam2021 I don't think you ever really relax, honestly. (And then the kid is born and the constant worry continues!) After 12 weeks for me, I was able to be a little more excited vs worried though, just cause statics go way down. And I do think you get better at figuring out ways to handle worry as time goes on, even if the worry itself doesn't change. 


    hanfam2021lemomma
  • Thank you both so much @savykay and @kat11223344 ! I'm so happy to be on this ride with you.
    lemomma
  • edited June 3
    @hanfam2021 Never. You never stop worrying about your kids. My son went unresponsive from a febrile seizure and was taken by ambulance this past winter and I was calling 911 like "Oh God, this is when I lose him." He's fine now. 
    This is my sixth pregnancy, hopefully second living child. After the NIPT test, I let myself relax. I know at that point there is nothing genetically off, we've made it past the first ultrasound and are in spitting distance of the second trimester. I know the sex, and I am starting to show by that point. Not that a second or third trimester loss isn't possible - my mom lost my little sister at 20 weeks - but by that point I feel like the odds of a loss compared to the stress of worrying about it - it's worth sinking into the pregnancy and enjoying it. 
    This website is helpful too! (but I am a data nerd)
    https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer



    stillcozyhanfam2021
  • stillcozystillcozy member
    @the_road_to_oz how awful! I am so sorry you went through that and so glad he is okay!
    April Siggy Challenge Social Distancing


    hanfam2021
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