Pregnancy Announcements in Era of COVID — The Bump
December 2020 Moms

Pregnancy Announcements in Era of COVID

Are folks thinking of pregnancy announcements differently since we are in this strange time?

With delays on in-person tests and all the unknowns and anxieties so many are experiencing, I'm thinking about delaying the announcements or even waiting on telling family so as not to incur their anxieties along with my own. 

Re: Pregnancy Announcements in Era of COVID

  • We are keeping it about the same as we did last time. We waited until after first tri then and are planning to do the same this time. That will be right around Father’s Day and of everyone is healthy then we will be celebrating both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day then and will just tell everyone when we are all together. I can’t worry/add on others anxiety to my own so I’ll be shutting that all down ASAP if/when it starts happening 
  • WinnieDWinnieD member
    We're going to wait until 3 months. For previous pregnancies, we were basically forced to tell because of our social circle at the time (a lot of wine drinking) and I'd rather just keep things private and enjoy this time to ourselves. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • @WinnieD that's wear I'm at, the only people I've told are my usual Friday night zoom wine buddies  :D
  • heavens14heavens14 member
    I told my boss basically right away. I trust her not to tell anyone. Plus with everything going on I wanted her to know because when the lockdown lifts and I do have to go back to work I will need to take extra precautions.  She is also going to have to work around all my different appointments one of which is the day we are supposed to be reopening. That way depending on where everything is with covid 19 when we reopen i have the option of taking my vacation time right away as well. We are going to wait to tell everyone else. I'm currently 7 weeks and 4 days. We are trying to decide if we should wait till the end of the first trimester or tell our families on mothers day. Both of our families need some good news. My mom just beat cancer before covid 19 started. And my husband's grandmother is in the early stages of dementia so I would like to tell her before while she is still mostly herself. We aren't sure yet. But I'm thinking of telling them earlier, plus either way I would want the support they can offer. 
  • hham10hham10 member
    I think we’ll continue as is ?? They are still doing in person appointments here and ultrasounds around the same time. I plan to tell around 12 weeks or so once we get our genetic testing back. 
  • karmbakarmba member
    So far I’ve told 4 friends, one of whom is pregnant and uses the same OB as me.  We’ll tell our families after the first appointment/ultrasound on 5/21.  I’ll tell my boss after the second appointment when I’m around 14 weeks.  Our company is doing some kind of phased approach to go back to the workplace and I want to be sure I’m in the final group.  

    We won’t post on Facebook.  I was too paranoid during my pregnancy with DS due to a miscarriage and it was kind of fun to see how surprised a lot of people were when we announced his birth.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Me: 34 DH: 36
    Married 10/15/11
    M/C October 2014
    BFP #2 4/3/16  EDD 12/8/16  DS 11/19/16

  • laurenspdxlaurenspdx member
    We live far away from family and a lot of my good friends, so the quarantine has actually given us more of an excuse to catch up with people on video chats. A lot of ppl knew we were trying and have either been asking or guessing, so we’ve been telling family and close friends as we catch up. It actually seems like the goods news has been extra welcome for a lot of people given the lockdown, and I know that we need the support now more than ever. Being able to talk to people about it has kept me from going stir crazy!

    We did wait until we had a couple of ultrasounds, though, and saw the heartbeat and growth. We’ll likely tell more people around 12w.
  • We will tell family and friends sometime after 12 weeks also. 

    We told family pretty early for my last pregnancy that was an ectopic. It was nice to have support when it didn't work out, but everyone had their hopes up and I don't want any extra pressure this time 😊

    I am REALLY enjoying the quiet, slower lifestyle right now and it's nice to not have family opinions/pressure/unsolicited advice or worry, etc. 

    Don't know if anyone else feels like this, but I am sensitive toward people's energy, so when it feels right and organic and positive, we will announce it. 💕 Until then (and hopefully after), we are just going with the flow. 

  • @bartonolivia ahhhh I love it!!!! So cute 
  • We haven’t decided how or when. A handful of people already know, since they were supportive through this whole infertility thing. I have a couple ideas for Facebook announcements, but two of them require that we’re able to go back to Disney. The third is for if the parks don’t open until I can’t wait anymore 🤣
    Me: 36 | DH: 35 | Married: 9.17.16
    Diminished ovarian reserve
    BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
  • BmcD2016BmcD2016 member
    We have only told a handful of people, but still haven’t told our families. The plan is send our moms packages for Mother’s Day with a “Blessed Nana/ Grammy” shirt. When they pick it up out of the box they’ll see a onesie underneath that reads “can’t wait to meet you Nana/ Grammy” 
    This is not the first for either and they both know we weren’t planning on more (he has his snip scheduled May 11th actually) so this will be a real surprise for both. 
    And hoping it’s a viable pregnancy because I’ll be almost 11 weeks before I can see a doctor. 
  • jbal918jbal918 member
    We told close family and close friends (3 only) and then the rest will know after 12 weeks. I’m not announcing it on social media because if I don’t go back to work until school starts in September, (NJ didn’t close yet), I don’t want anyone from administration finding out from another teacher who saw it online. 
    DS born 2016
  • akorosakoros member
    We won't really change our plans, if anything this makes it easier to stick to it. Generally we're waiting until at least 12 weeks to tell most (after the NIPT and NT scan results come back), might tell our parents earlier but not before my first scan at 8 weeks to make sure it's viable. We're not big on announcements in general, and are skittish because of last time, so I can see just surprising people with a big belly (or baby) once we can actually see our friends. 
  • The #1 reason we haven’t told anyone is because my MIL is THE WORST when I’m pregnant (this is #3) and I want to tell my mom in person (she’s self quarantined even from family) first! It’s been nice having it to ourselves though - I’ll be sad when people know lol
  • We told our parents at 6 weeks via facetime.. we are waiting for end of first tri to let everyone know.. possibly via family grp chats..
  • I told 3 of my sisters on a zoom chat at about 10 weeks because it's the only chance we had to be "together". One sister lives in Cali and had a bridal gown fitting so after that we were just chatting and it felt right.

    Told MIL last week when we went to visit for a day after being isolated for almost 2 months. Again, it just felt right. 

    I think everyone else who "needs" an individual announcement is going to get some version of a picture via text around 12 weeks (next Wednesday) and we'll field phone calls after.

    Honestly, I am kind of relieved to do it this way. As much as I loved the joy and enthusiasm with the first kiddo it was a lot to handle as an introvert with a big family and multiple group gathering annoucements. With baby #2 reactions were 50/50 excitement vs. lackluster congrats. 

    I *hate* the "I knew it" responses from people and we've had a few inappropriate or downright rude reactions in the past. I just don't have the grace in me to be polite if someone says something stupid or offensive right now. Hopefully announcing from a distance will let people get their nonsense out before I have to respond to it.
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  • We haven't told anyone yet, except the Doctor lol. This is our 4th and was definitely not planned. I feel like the reactions from some are inappropriate and rude so we won't be putting it on social media this time around. I haven't told my parents yet because my dad is my boss, so I'm waiting until I have my first appointment to make sure everything is alright (had a miscarriage last year) As soon as I get a chance to see my best friend I will tell her because I want to do it in person.
  • We announced on Facebook on Wednesday after my appointment, since we just couldn’t wait. I posted the ultrasound picture and said something about how people have been making and growing things during the pandemic. So have we, it just won’t be here until December 😂
    Me: 36 | DH: 35 | Married: 9.17.16
    Diminished ovarian reserve
    BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
  • My husband and I joke about how long we could go without having to tell anyone, assuming we won’t see any family or friends anytime soon. I’d like to start telling more family soon though, which we will likely start within the next week. I have a cute announcement idea that I need to put together first.

    Lilypie Maternity tickers

    <3 Mama to 2 girls - H&I <3
  • Had an early ultrasound and saw a heartbeat so I want to tell parents this weekend but my hubby wants to wait until 12 weeks ... But I am also considering beyond close family and some very close friends to just wait and see how long it takes for the news to get around :)
  • akorosakoros member
    We told our parents yesterday, after my first scan. I was debating waiting, but my husband really wanted to tell his parents. Definitely won't tell anyone else until after my 12 week scan and NIPT
  • hham10hham10 member
    All of you who are waiting are strong!! I’ve told a handful of people including our immediate family. We will post on Facebook once we hit the second trimester. 
  • It's so difficult to keep it to ourselves.. but i have had miscarriages and telling ppl made it worse for me.. so i am staying quiet until we are out of the bushes.. 
  • akorosakoros member
    We had a loss this past December, which is making it easier for us to wait. Last time I was on pins and needles, dying to tell everyone. This time around it's not really feeling "real" just yet, don't have that same glow of excitement, so it's easier to keep it in. SIP helps a lot, too, we're not seeing anyone.
  • Same as @akoros here. This is my fourth pregnancy (lost the last one), so I think it makes me more patient. Definitely won't be sharing until we get the NIPT results back. Hopefully that happens soon!

    TTC #3 (whaaaat?) since March 2019

    Me: 39 II Him: 38

    DS born at 26w3d: January 2011

    DD born at 37w3d: May 2013

  • We are waiting till after we get the test results back.  I had a loss almost 12 years ago, and since then I've been cautious of sharing to early.  I don't think DH really understood why until we had a loss this past January. He wasn't part of my 1st loss. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
  • I would like to do a social media post on June 1st because it’s our first year anniversary but I’ll be a day shy of 13 weeks. I should have my NT scan results back by then (I don’t think they take more than a week) but after reading that a lot people wait until week 14 or later I am second guessing myself. I know it’s super individualized but as a FTM I just don’t know what to do! What’s everyone else thinking of doing as far as social media announcement? I think most of us have told family or friends by now!
  • @tryingktogku I'm waiting to make sure I'm working summer school (and what I'm working first) since my AP and other teachers and I follow each other. I want to make sure I'm not bumped out. So at this point we'll be waiting until July. AND rather than do a big announcement (thinking of my friends who struggle) we've already started a separate insta which will have the "news" and other baby things going forward. I'll post its existence and then people can follow it if they want to or ignore it if they don't. 
  • BmcD2016BmcD2016 member
    I’m very hesitant on even posting online until like baby is born. I know a lot of people who are struggling with infertility, including a few from my previous BMB (N16). And this is my 4th, 5th between the both of us so that plays into it too. If it were my first I’d probably post it everywhere I could. 

    I honestly don’t even know how to announce to our extended family. Right now only our parents and brothers know. But the rest of our family we don’t really see or talk to except for holidays. So I just feel it would be weird to just call them up and say “hi, we’re having another baby.” I don’t want to text or email it either. 

    There are two possibilities for family announcement: old fashioned, mail out an announcement that we’ll have another baby in December. Or depending on how COVID is in 4-5 weeks, we could gather family for a get together and just surprise them with a gender reveal. 
  • @willashbaby that makes sense with your work! Luckily my work already knows! 
    @BmcD2016 ou well a gender reveal announcement would be cute too! 

    My extended friends and family don’t know yet and so I just want to do a Facebook post to share the news! Bring some happiness in light of COVID to those I love but don’t see often. As far as being sensitive to others struggling with IF, as someone we did struggle with IF I only ever felt happiness for those that got pregnant (only ever a little bitter when people would make it apparent about how easy it was for them) but I’m not planning on rubbing my pregnancy in people’s faces I just want to share the news! 
  • BmcD2016BmcD2016 member
    @tryingktogku I didn’t mean to imply that it would be rubbing it in others faces, sorry if that’s how it came across. I think one of my previous OBs had said at this point, chances of miscarriage are very low. So as soon as you feel comfortable putting it out there, go for it! 
  • @BmcD2016 I know you didn’t mean it like that! Just being sensitive to other people! 
  • We’re just waiting for our NIPT results before a big social media announcement (we are excited for it so hoping for good news soon). We’ve been telling friends and family over the last few weeks. Quarantine has us catching up with lots of people on zoom calls etc so we usually do it there to see their reactions. It is nice to share some good news in this dumpster fire of a year as long as (like you said) it’s done with kindness and sensitivity in mind.
  • akorosakoros member
    @tryingtogku the timing really depends on what you and your husband are comfortable with. We're generally in the "after the NT results" camp, so ~12 weeks. I know many women who waited until 16 or 20 weeks, in most cases they were high risk or had experienced a loss. Our loss started at the 12-week scan, so this logic applies to use, too.

    If you know someone specifically who experienced a loss or is struggling, it's a considerate idea to reach out to her individually first as a "heads up". I've mostly been fine with pregnancy announcements, but it can be upsetting for some people (not that they're not happy for you, but it's hard to predict our emotions). Beyond that, it's totally fine to announce whenever you feel ready.
  • gh1219gh1219 member
    @akoros I totally agree.  Having been on the other side with loss and a long ttc course, I really appreciated the personal text from 2 of my friends before they told the rest of our group.  It allowed me to have all my feelings on my own time and in my own space so I was ready for their exciting news.
  • We have told the majority of our family that lives close to us and waiting until we announce to tell extended family out of town. We have also told a select few close friends who have been very supportive of us throughout our long TTC journey, and a few others we’ve either seen (for social distancing hangs) or zoomed with and they guessed because I wasn’t drinking wine. We’re announcing to everyone else on social media once NIPT and NT U/S come back okay. If there’s any issues we’ll wait a bit longer. 
  • I am getting increasingly anxious about announcing.  Everything has looked fine on all the tests so far, but I am so afraid to let the whole world know.  I have had a few friends who got bad news at their anatomy scans and they handled it with grace but it was hard.  Our immediate families know and a few close friends.  Work knows and the VP made an announcement to some people (so I am sure most people will find out soon).  (I told work because I am requesting some work accomodations based on my doctor's recommendations). Both families are respectfully not telling, but super excited.  My MIL has 12 weeks marked in her calendar.  Any suggestions for this nervous FTM? 
  • @dobiemom11 don't tell the world if you don't want to. I didn't with my Son until after our early anatomy scan and NIPT. I think I was around 18 weeks? And we've decided to just do the same this time. We'll tell people on a case by case but no "announcement" until after the anatomy scan. 
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