PAIF new mommies April 2020

PoeMasque

Thought I’d start this month since I didn’t see one and I’ve been MIA for a while! 

I know there have been several new babes on this board, so congrats to @sincethelastday and @wifeinraleigh28 !!

I was so looking forward to a nice long maternity leave, with lots of time to snuggle and enjoy our last baby, but this COVID thing has really mucked that up. Our 2 year old is now home with me all day and our 2 month old hangs out in the office with DH while he works. We are literally just surviving - especially because all of these changes have given our toddler severe anxiety over sleeping - which means not much sleeping is happening for anyone these days. Add to all of that we either have really bad allergies, or some kind of virus (maybe mild covid??), it’s been going on for about a week: toddler with scratchy throat and developing cough, me with intermittent nausea, fatigue, chest pressure, and headache. Hoping it doesn’t get worse. 

Hopefully everyone else is doing better than we are! I know this is an adjustment and will be better soon, but I’m allowed to resent the loss of this special time I guess. 

On the bright side DH and I still have jobs, we can still send our toddler to daycare if we absolutely have to, and we started seeds for a garden that are doing great. Hoping I get the yard ready for them in time to transplant. 

dukie001

Hi everyone!
@PoeMasque hope you all get better soon. It’s sucks to be sick overall, and especially right now when everyone around is super paranoid.
Im sitting on quarantine 3rd week already, working from home when something important comes up. Really enjoying extra time with my LO.

I also started having baby fever 🤪I know it’s super early though...

Tulips29

Thanks for starting this @PoeMasque. I hope everyone in your family starts feeling better soon! It's definitely not easy being home with a toddler and a baby and I completely understand your resentment over loss of  enjoyable maternity leave time. I feel similar to you. I was supposed to be out until end of May and had all these plans to enjoy the spring outdoors, take the baby for walks while DS was at daycare, etc. All that is now a distant memory as we're all sitting at home. Our daycare is open also, but we're keeping our son at home. I also decided to return to work next week. I'm glad both DH and I are able to work from home during this time as well. The only outdoors we enjoy is the backyard or walks at an empty field. It's definitely not what anyone envisioned but I keep telling myself as long as everyone is healthy that's all that matters. Our little girls is almost 4 months and I can't believe how quickly time is flying. I just feel sad that our parents who live nearby don't see the kids as we're in quarantine. We're trying to organize a socially distant hangout from 6-8 feet apart so they can at least see their grandkids in flesh. 

PoeMasque

@Tulips29 not being able to see family is definitely one of the harder elements of quarantine. DS1 has started hugging and kissing the phone/computer when we talk to my mom. She used to spend a weekend every month with us to see him, so he is pretty attached. It’s adorable, but also a little heartbreaking. One nice thing is that we have been doing more Skype/FaceTime calls with other family members that we wouldn’t have done before, so that’s a little silver linings I guess  

wifeinraleigh28

Hey all! Thank you for the warm welcome @PoeMasque! It feels good to be on this side of things. I relate to everything everyone has said so far on this thread. I've been mourning the loss of the maternity leave I had planned for myself as well. My daughter's preschool is closed at least through May 15th and will be extended based on the state of things. So she's home with us and we have no support at all except for the doula I hired (who is only working for us and quarantined otherwise). It still makes me nervous but I was desperate for some help while I heal from my c-section. And the two weeks that DH was initially going to take off from work could no longer happen because he's trying to keep his team employed right now during this horrible time. So I literally have no help with the 2 kids during the week except for my pp doula. All things considered though, I am really doing my best to just enjoy this time with my kids as much as possible. My little guy is such a good baby and sleeps so much better than my daughter did as a newborn so I am grateful for that. Nursing is also going extremely well and he regained his birth weight in just 4 days. He is just overall such a chill and happy baby and my daughter is SO loving towards him. She gets pissed at me throughout the day for constantly nursing him but she doesn't take any of her anger out on the baby so I'm happy about that!

persnickity

@wifeinraleigh28 my daughter is 2.5 years old and loves helping for nursing. She gets the burp cloth or Boppy for me. Also "reads" to him or I can sit on the couch and read while she flips pages. It makes nursing all the time easier.

wifeinraleigh28

@persnickity the story is pretty much the same in our house. DD even likes to massage my boob, which she's seen me do to help get the milk flowing, lol. Some days are just a lot more difficult for her than others. The days are just dragging on at this point and staying positive is hard. I've been buying so many things on amazon to help keep her entertained and stimulated when we're so busy catering to a newborn all day. The latest was a soccer goal that we installed in the backyard which she finds a lot of fun. But none of the "stuff" makes up for the lack of social interaction she's used to getting with her peers.

persnickity

@wifeinraleigh28 I completely understand. I'm grateful that DD had 2 months of normal when DS was born. We've been home for 5 weeks at this point. Because he's a little older now and smiling, doing things, it's been getting better. She likes to play with him. She usually takes any anger out on DH and gets mad when he can't give her enough attention. She seems to forgive me for needing to feed DS.

Tulips29

I haven't been on in a while, but I'm so happy to see your update @wifeinraleigh28. Congratulations on your baby boy! 

How is everyone else doing? We're trying to stay sane and positive here, but some days are so tough. The other day I went for a walk with DS and saw his best friend across the street, who started crying as soon as he saw us and saying he misses hanging out with his buddy. It broke my heart. We had a quick exchange from across the street and then went our separate ways. My son was asking why his friend was crying and then he said "I think he misses me, I miss him too." I cried quietly behind my sunglasses so he wouldn't see. I know he probably won't remember this much and that once things go back to normal he'll be back to his routine, but still. We also saw my parents the other day while out with the kids. My parents quickly looked at the baby in the stroller and then ran around with our son without coming close. When we were saying goodbyes, I saw my mom started to tear up. They see the kids every day on FaceTime, but seeing them in person got her all emotional. I can't wait for this to end! 

On another note, I need some advice on training DS to go #2 on the toilet. It's such a struggle! He says when he has to go but then is scared to actually go. He will ask for his diaper so he can go in it, even though he says he knows he's a big boy and knows he needs to go on the toilet. Anyone have tips on what worked for you? 

sincethelastday

Hello all! 

I realize I’m a bit late to the game since this is the last day of April. But just wanted to sign in to say hi! 

It’s been officially 6 weeks since Byron was born and it feels both like a lifetime ago and also no time at all. Life just feels really surreal right now with finally becoming a mom and the craziness of the pandemic. But I am loving motherhood! It’s definitely been challenging at times (I’m still grieving the loss of sleep), but overall nothing beats those cuddles and the signs of a first smile from my boy! Byron has been quite fussy lately, especially during the evenings, so I’m really hoping that gets better soon. I know that most babies go through a growth spurt around this time, but any tips or ideas that other moms have on how to stay sane during those crying fests would be great - I feel like I’m trying everything! 

Hope everyone who was planning on returning to work have had a smooth transition back and wishing everyone is staying sane and safe during this time of isolation and uncertainty. 

wildrainbow

@sincethelastday I can't believe it's been six weeks already!!

As far as the fussiness, it's prolly a combo of the witching hour, and growth spurt. I know that with ds1, we did a warm bath, and that helped immensely followed by skin to skin cuddles. You could also try taking a bath with him, so can relax skin to skin with you. I know with both my boys, the skin to skin really helped and minimized the fussiness. 

Tulips29

@sincethelastday congratulations on your baby boy! Time is flying for sure! I've experienced 2 different levels of fussiness with both kids. That witching hour can get pretty bad! With my son, it was really bad in the evenings and at night. I was told boys have more stomach issues, which results in more fussiness, but I don't know how true that really is. Is he gassy perhaps? Have you tried bicycle exercises to relieve some gas or a warm compress on the tummy? Some friends of mine have eliminated dairy from their diet to help with fussiness as well, but I never tried that. With my daughter, I tried windi (https://www.amazon.com/Gaspasser-Fridababy-all-natural-solution-Relief/dp/B007RAGALO) when she'd get fussy which helped her as well. It went away around the 3/4 month mark for both I'd say. I hope it gets better for Byron! 

PoeMasque

@sincethelastday time just flies doesn’t it? So happy to hear things are going well as you transition into motherhood during such craziness  

DS1 had the worst colic from 5 weeks to forever! It would start at 5pm like clockwork. We tried everything, literally everything and the only thing that stopped the crying was putting him in a carrier or wrap and bouncing on a yoga ball. It’s like baby magic! Unfortunately if we stopped bouncing he would cry again, so it was 2 hours of bouncing every night (probably how I lost the baby weight so quickly that time!). The yoga ball works when DS2 is fussy too

sincethelastday

Thank you, @wildrainbow, @Tulips29, and @PoeMasque for the suggestions on how to calm a particularly fussy baby! Some of them I’ve never thought of before which sound so easy to implement, like the warm compress or bouncing on the ball. He actually seemed a little better yesterday evening, so hoping he’s also just naturally growing out of this phase. Thanks again so much for the tips! 

mbradfo2

@sincethelastday
Congrats on your little one's safe arrival! Anne was fussy at that age and we started putting mylicon drops in her bottles (or giving them to her), doing the bicycle movements after feeds, and those things helped alot. Also anything that distracted her from being crabby like Daddy blowing on her belly or making faces/different noises. One of our pediatricians clicks her tongue to distract and calm the little babies when they're being examined. Bouncing, being carried around, anything that is movement related. And of course, the old reliable "drive around the block".  We still do that when Anne is crabby even now that she's bigger and it still helps! I'm sure he'll gradually outgrow it; imagine how overwhelming everything must seem when you're only 6 weeks old!