I am 10 weeks and 4 days. We tried for 4 months to get pregnant. He was the one who wanted to start trying for our second. This pregnancy has been different than my first. I have more symptoms this time around.
My husband tries to have sex every chance we're ever alone. And I continually turn him down because I just don't feel great. I stay nauseous and feel biggest at night. He tries to wake up early to provoke and Im just not one to wake up to that. Let me just add, that I don't like to feel "hunted" either, like I'm a piece of meat.
Well, since practicing social distancing and we are stuck at home with each other and our 2 year old, I feel alot of frustration and resentment brooding.
Even before getting pregnant, my drive was very low. And if I give in, have sex but im not that into it, he feels that, and he STILL has resentment.
I just don't know what to do or how to explain, and am at a loss.
Re: Sexual frustration
OR you could try to figure out what YOU would want/need to feel sexual and explain that to him in an effort to compromise here. Its going to be a long few months.... when I go through periods of emotional/physical discomfort and my sexual drive is very low, I talk it out with DH and explain how I'm feeling and also things we could maybe try to have a sexual connection again. It's not about him or you 'winning,' rather it's about the two of you having a connection and what you both need in that connection and how you can work through it together.
Speaking from experience, I can tell you that for me, I need a hell of a lot more foreplay than I did pre-pregnancy. It just takes a bit longer to get my motor running so that I'm focusing less on all of those lovely pregnancy things (heightened sense of smell, motion sickness, nausea) and more on the feelings and sensations that bring me pleasure.
And lastly, sex cannot just be about one partner. You BOTH have to be into it, or it's not going to happen. Period. Like you said, when you're not into, he picks up on that and gets butthurt. So, what can you both do to ensure that you're as into it as he is? Talk it through. And not when you're in the middle of being intimate - have this conversation outside of the bedroom, preferably when your toddler is either napping or occupied so you're less likely to get distracted.
Due with baby #2: Feb 2022
Maybe you can explain to him what's going on and hopefully after these feeling pass or our bodies adjust to the new hormones maybe it will change.
The positive side is at least the pregnancy isn't forever, good luck.