I need ideas, strength, support, prayers, hope...

ginanddavid

crap... i need a lot!

Ok. So I have never ever been a mom who can let her kiddo CIO! (freakin throw tomatoes, go ahead!) I can not STAND to let someone so adorable cry. And now he knows this...

Anyhow- He was sick almost the whole christmas break with some pretty nasty breathing so I was too scared to let him sleep in his own bed. I propped him up on my pillows and slept with him. Usually, he can sleep with me for a few nights and go back to his crib with no problems... Not so much anymore. I put him in his crib for the past 3 nights and he wakes up immediately or a couple hours later and screams. When I walk in there, he's standing up, holding his blanket like "ok, let's go". SO i take him to bed with me because I'm too tired to fight him to go back to sleep.

Yesterday- DH was home with DS and texts me at 11 am "CALL ME!!!!" apparently, DS got out of bed without waking DH up (our bed) and just started roaming through the house playing. He woke up to the sound of DH beating a bottle on the closet door. DS had already chewn apart an earpiece to headphones and gone through a purse of mine and taken every receipt out and littered our room with them. DS usually wakes up about 9:30!!!!!!!! i was pretty pissed.

Pissed turned into "shame on me!" when DS got out of our bed at 3:30 this morning while DH and I were sleeping.. I wake up to him pushing buttons on my phone and my phone saying "please say a command". I look down and there he stands next to a push toy that he got from his room.

WHAT DO I DO!??!?!

Might I just add- at the babysitters, she puts him in his pack and play (in her room, but she's not in there!) and he plays for a few minutes and goes to sleep. she says he hardly EVER cries. He FREAKS OUT if i even walk into his room with him.... grrrrrrrrrrrr.

I know I need to let him CIO but isn't he old enough to think "abandonment". I DON'T WANT THAT!

I'm scared he'll keep getting out of our bed and do something to hurt himself...

mom2ll

we have had great success with CIO.  The first night is HELL..  My child is stubborn (wonder where that comes from?)  it's not abandoning.  We go in every 10-15 min to reassure him that things are okay..  the first time we did it he went for 3 hours..   next night 30 min...  next night 2 min..  now ZERO...  we have to redo it every once in a while (after a trip or teething)..  It takes 1 night to get back into our routine.. 

IMO he is much better off to cry than to potentially hurt himself in your home...  Stand your ground.  I promise my child doesn't love me any less since we CIO....

magsnvegas

I agree with bpaullo, it's better to CIO than for him to get hurt in your home somewhere.  I hate to hear DD cry too but sometimes we have to do things that we don't like because it keeps them safe.

Good luck!

nanann

We've used CIO with success too, esp. with Julia who needed us to do it.

The other thing I would suggest is to put doorknob covers on the inside of whatever room he is in and to make sure the room he is in is thoroughly baby-proofed.  It seems the roaming around the house is dangerous and that's what we do to keep Elena from going out and about. 

savannah11

We don't do CIO but we have a rule that he does not get to leave his room in when it's sleeping time. ?Orion went through a period of time where he seemed to need a lot of reassurance in the middle of the night. ?DH and I would go in there, take him out of his crib, and rock him for a little while. ?When things were really bad (he was really sick) we moved our recliner into his room so we could stretch out and lay with him for as long as he needed it. ?After a while he realized he wasn't going to get to sleep with us and he was much more comfortable in his crib. ?Now, even if he has a bad dream and needs rocking, he's ready to go back to his crib within 5 minutes and go back to sleep.

?Also, ditto on the doorknob covers. ??

KKMMex

We have the doorknob covers too and they're great.  I actually put them on after someone on this board suggested it to prevent night roaming.

I also had great success with CIO.  It wasn't pleasant but it worked and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.  There are few things worse than an entire family consistently sleep-deprived.  I do believe that CIO can work wonders and the three nights it took were well worth it.  I know that some people can still get a good night's sleep while sleeping with their children, but neither DH nor I are one of them.

M&M614

First off, hugs.  I'm so sorry.  how frustrating!

 Second, I'm another CIO person.  We also go in after 10 minutes (less if the crying is at a certain level).  Now that she is older, we tell her the rules, explain that we are still here, but it's time for sleep.

I don't have any other advice, really, but I hear that the "No Cry Sleep Solution" is a good book.  Maybe check that out?

chrisbride04

You are not alone! We are going through something similar, but without the roaming around. Sleeps fine at the babysitter, but will not go to sleep on his own at home anymore. We keep putting off CIO, but I think we are to that point. Good luck!