Covid-19 Pandemic Discussion Thread

allthingscozy

@dobiemom11 oh my gosh that is so long! Where are they from? Ours is two weeks first then a reassessment. 

superliz6

Hi guys! I'm new here- hopefully posting in the right place... 

I just got a message from my doctor that my 13 week sonogram appointment is now going to be over the phone instead of in person. It makes sense due to all that is going on, but I've found myself exceptionally stressed that I won't be able to visually see that the baby is healthy and growing the way it should. In the scheme of everything that is happening, I shouldn't be so upset but I am so stressed out that I'm not going to get that visual relief! Anyone else dealing with this? 

I'm starting to panic that things will never let up and I'll have to birth this kid on my own in the house! This is my first pregnancy and I'm 36. I knew there could possibly be some challenges, but I didn't expect one of them to be a pandemic  

inthewoods23

@superliz6 definitely the wrong board ma'am. This is Trying To Get Pregnant where most of us have never been pregnant before. Try the 1st or 2nd Trimester boards or the appropriate BMB (birth month board).

dobiemom11

@allthingscozy. They live in VA and the whole state was just given that mandate.  I am not sure if DC and MD are under the same restrictions as well.  In my area in GA, we are under the two week and reassess.  Just started week 1, but DH and I have already been doing many of the restrictions for the past two weeks.  

ashaislurking

My program director just shared this link with all of us. It's a free video (about 30 minutes) to watch from Dr. Bessel van der Kolk which explains the mechanisms of COVID-19 as a traumatic event and what we can do to help minimize the traumatic impact of this global pandemic. He is a fabulous trauma researcher who I look up to as a professional.  I hope some of you find this video helpful too.

Click here to register (you just need to enter your email)

stillcozy

@ashaislurking thank you for the video! He is so awesome! 

charmedlifex3

Vent - 

My friend is driving me ... crazy. (TW, child mentioned)
She works as an aide at a hospital. She has refused to go in to work since the late part of Feb. She normally only works one or two days a week, and took vacation time, then was told she needed to go back - 
She instead decided she was "positive" for Covid. No fever. Mild cough (she has seasonal allergies)
She got a test - it's negative. She is still "isolating." 
She is making a huge dramatic deal out of how she "has covid" - no fever, mild cough and shortness of breath, negative test. She has anxiety and allergies. To me.... that wouldn't add up to covid. Take a benadryl?
She sent her son away to "protect him" and is making a huge deal out of being alone on Easter... she's Jewish (a bad Jew, but still) Not a word about passover, which started... yesterday, I think? 
1. Go get him? 
2. Your symptoms are "Atypical" and you have a negative test with no known exposure. I mean... If it were me, I'd probably feel comfortable that I didn't have it?

I get it, it's anxiety, but I kinda want to shake her.  Like - lots of people have very very real trauma happening now - On the group chat she is bitching on, even. And she keeps turning every conversation back around to her "Covid" and passive aggressively thumbs upping when ever anyone else says ANYTHING. 

Just, ugh.  

inthewoods23

@the_road_to_oz yikes... sounds like she needs some help with this irrational fear. You'd think a negative test would put her at ease, but she seems to think it's a false negative?? I wouldn't even know where to start with all that.

charmedlifex3

@inthewoods23 She's got some mental health struggles for sure. It's gotten a lot worse over the last year and a half or so - she has always had anxiety, but she was injured and developed an addiction, and has absolutely been showing signs of factitious disorder - lots of doctor shopping. Some of it was surely for pills, but some of it I think she really believes. 
I'm bitching here rather than telling her to stop being an ass because I know this is related to her mental health issues, but. Ugh. 
She's headed to the hospital tomorrow for a second X ray (the first was clear) and an EKG. Like... this is not what the doctors need right now, and she's going to TRULY catch this disease from panicking she has it. 
It's frustrating, and I don't have the emotional bandwidth to deal with her issues right now. I am on tilt. It's fear based yes, but it's also attention seeking. She needs validation, and the less she gets, the harder she pushes. Being "sick" give her the attention she needs. Mysteriously when she is in a relationship, she doesn't have these "health issues" because she is getting positive attention from another source. 

mindyb2019

@the_road_to_oz wow!! That's... that's something alright. I'm sorry your friend is acting like that. I know shes your friend but it sounds like shes got some real mental issues to work on here. Like, I dont get why she keeps on insising that she has covid??? Who would really want that? Her test was negative so I would just be happy I dont have it. Is she wanting to say she has it because of the attention it gives her or?? I dont blame you one bit for being annoyed and frustrated with her too. If that were my friend I would tell her to pull her head out of her ass! i get it, i get anxiety too. It's not fun, but this is going a bit much and wasting the doctors time. Sorry your having to deal with all this right now. Hugs 💕

inthewoods23

@the_road_to_oz goodness I don't blame you for not having the bandwidth to deal with all that's going on with her! I don't think I could either. 

emeraldduchess

@the_road_to_oz yikes, that is a LOT to deal with. I'm surprised they are still going to do X-rays and an EKG if she already tested negative. Like you said, the doctors are already working around the clock helping those that DO have it. I really hope that if her next round of testing shows she's fine, she'll calm the heck down.

stillcozy

@the_road_to_oz phew I have a lot of thoughts. It is very disappointing to hear she is wasting and misusing emergency services for her own mental health gain.  I think sometimes the best thing we can do is ignore the acting out and not give them the attention they are negatively seeking. Since a lot of times people like this do not respond well to being called out. It is also okay if you don’t have the mental space to deal to unfollow her for now. I definitely suspect there is more personality trait stuff going on and not just anxiety.  Hugs not an easy situation and she does not sound like an easy person to support. 

ashaislurking

inthewoods23

How's everyone doing? I know it's been a while since this all started and we're starting to feel a little more settled in to this new normal.

Everyone doing okay?

Have things changed at your jobs/YH's jobs? Are you under a stay at home order and when does it end? Anyone still struggling to find essential items at the store?

asf0613

@inthewoods23 good idea for a check-in. 

settled here but still a little anxious financially.  3 weeks ago i got a 50% salary cut so thats a lot to process.  i am able to defer student loans, but not my mortgage (without it all being due at the end of forbearance which is a lot), but luckily DH is still at full capacity.  WFH is interesting.  like we're together all day but arent?  hes on video chats with clients and coworkers about 50% of the day, so i sit quietly lol.  i dont mind being home.  ive gotten so much done with the house that i have felt behind on for months, so i know i will be so much less stressed when things get back to normal, whenever that is!

and another positive, i've been able to hang here on TB more than usual!

ashaislurking

@inthewoods23 Super appreciate the check-in. My state STILL doesn't have a stay-at-home order, our testing per capita is far lower than that of almost any other state, and we've STILL been having some of the largest single day spikes in positive cases despite the lack of testing accessibility. MH still goes to work during the week because he works on a freight dock, but if he's offered partial paid furlough he's going to take it. We haven't needed to go to the store for a while thankfully so I'm not sure what the essential item availability looks like. I try to tune out the outside world as much as possible, but I went for a drive the other day just to get out of the house and I've never been more anxious just getting in a car and going outside. This has definitely been detrimental to my mental health.

inthewoods23

@asf0613 off 50% is tough! DH and I are working in the same room and it's been a struggle when he's on conference calls and I'm trying to speak with customers on the phone for my work. I'm also just naturally a loud talker so that's where most of the struggle comes from. We have no issues working in the same room otherwise. My effort in getting more done around the house has not changed haha. I haven't done any massive clean ups in various rooms, etc. At least I'm keeping up with the massive amount of dishes that keep piling up every few days!

@ashaislurking how many cases are there in your state? We have so many people mad that they just extended our stay at home order to late May when they say we've reached our peak cases. I noticed an article pop up on my phone (didn't read it) that seems to indicate some counties in our state are actually seeing increases in cases vs decreases. Last I heard, our peak was supposed to be a few days ago. I'm totally the same about tuning out the world. I don't follow the news and I haven't been checking on the number of cases each day like I was when we were first all working from home. Frankly, I'm enjoying being a homebody right now and ignoring everything.

DH and I are both in good standing with our jobs. So far all I've had was them cutting out the 401k matching and no merit increases this year. No pay cuts. Supposedly they will revisit and reevaluate the merit increases in June and if things are still bad then they'll consider them again at the end of the year. They did lay off a few people across our company as part of a restructure. My boss and I are waiting for them to implement some kind of requirement to take PTO to take unpaid days since we had to do that last year due to sales being really poor. DH recently found out he'll have to take 2 weeks (not necessarily all at once) unpaid between May and June and then another 2 week unpaid July through September. Interesting he says those even higher up (like the VPs, the CEO) are also going unpaid for a number of weeks into the winter AND in 2021 as there is obviously more savings by having the top execs take more time unpaid. Things are fine otherwise at home. They extended our stay at home order to May 26th. It was supposed to expire this Friday.

I'm just waiting for us to finally get to a point where we can visit family! My mom and I have had a weekly FaceTime chat on Fridays in the evening to watch Making the Cut on Amazon Video together. That's been fun and my dad usually pops his head into view to say hi 

asf0613

i love that you have a weekly chat @inthewoods23 ! i should try to get my family on board for that. and glad that your jobs are mostly status quo for the time being.  sounds like the company is being strategic and creative by helping the most people.
@ashaislurking its crazy that so many places have stay at home orders and others dont.  it just feels like no one is on the same page from state to state and its hard to find common ground.  we're in a hotspot but plateauing so hopefully back to normalcy soon

ashaislurking

@inthewoods23 We're pushing 3200 -confirmed- cases in my state now, but a LOT of people can't or won't get tested. We've been seeing major increases in cases throughout the state as more people push for testing. Some of the more rural counties in my state don't have any confirmed cases, but testing availability is nearly non-existent  in those areas and is pretty much limited to hospital and lab settings here, so rural communities are SOL for testing unless the person travels to a city.

inthewoods23

@ashaislurking that's so surprising that there's no stay at home order as we have just over 4000 cases and ours was implemented weeks ago before we probably even had 1000. We have some rural counties as well. There's probably 1 hospital per county or maybe even 1 hospital to cover a couple counties.

ashaislurking

@inthewoods23 yeah- while our state has implemented a lot of closures and restrictions on who can be open, there are no travel restrictions or any real enforcement of non essential gatherings. A new age shop in our capital ran a pop up shop just a few weeks ago claiming "no more than 10 people were in the building at a time" but there were more than that number of people in vendors there. It's just ridiculous and our governor is just turning a blind eye to all of it. People aren't going to stay home if you don't tell them to. 

inthewoods23

@ashaislurking yeah. As much as I would like them to say small gatherings with family only, you know that means everyone is going to go out and hang out with anybody and everybody. You almost have to keep the stay at home way longer before permitting any kind of gatherings to keep the waves of new cases from shooting up

ashaislurking

@inthewoods23 I agree. I'm constantly seeing big groups of kids from all over the neighborhood out in the streets riding their bikes and playing games. They've closed the parks but that's not keeping them from getting together to go out and play. All that's doing is hurting those of us who are following proper protocols more. 

stillcozy

We are still in the stay at home order until May. It’s definitely been hard on me work wise unfortunately since a lot of clients that could still use therapy are taking a break instead of wanting to try teletherapy. It’s just also a lot of extra work having to send so many appointments Invites, extra communication and follow up right now. Which is fine and I’m happy to do it but my own anxiety has been so high anything extra is taking a toll.  

I feel trapped and stir crazy. I hate that I can’t do mental health trips aka home goods and nonessential store window shopping just to relax and unwind. I miss people and zoom calls just feel overwhelming. I’ve noticed I have wanted to just be by myself a lot which is not my norm at all. 

While I get it I can stil hate this and I do. 

emeraldduchess

My state is still under stay at home orders and is in the middle of a surge in cases right now. I am pretty sure the order is going to extend to the end of May at least. We are doing ok with staying home, though. DH and I are homebodies, so staying in and watching Netflix/reading/etc. isn't new. I do miss going shopping for fun, especially going to the craft store and places like Homegoods. We miss our families, too. We can tell that DH's parents are going stir crazy. My parents are both essential workers, so I do worry about them. DH's parents can't get Zoom working on their computer, and my parents don't even want to attempt it. My mom's birthday is this week and I feel bad that we can't do anything to celebrate.
Teaching remotely is really, really hard. I constantly feel like I am not doing enough and that I am failing my students. I have to keep telling myself that I'm doing the best I can under circumstances that none of us trained for. DH is also a teacher, so at least we can support each other. The official decision hasn't been made, but we're both pretty sure that we won't be back in our classrooms with our students this school year. My heart just breaks for these kids who are supposed to be graduating in May/June. They are missing out on so many milestones like prom, class trips, their final sports seasons and performances in school plays. It's unlikely that they will have a graduation ceremony.

I have usually been able to get what we need at the store, with the exception of toilet paper, paper towels and chicken. I haven't seen frozen vegetables on the shelves in over a month. We did find toilet paper last week, so we're all set for a few weeks. 

 

ashaislurking

@stillcozy I'm feeling the impact of sheltering in place on my mental health too. Sending you lots of love! I'm sorry zoom chats are overwhelming for you!
@emeraldduchess you're 100% right that there's no way you, your fellow teachers, or administrators could have trained for and been prepared for this. You're doing the best you can and I know it feels like it's not good enough, but everyone is going through this very new reality the best way we know how. Hang in there! 

capnjackharkness

We're still under shelter-in-place here. Talks have begun in my area/State about how they may open back up and when they may try.  I know that we are lucky in a lot of ways as I'm 100% telework and DH is essential so still working, and I know a lot of people are suffering right now, but I personally am loving all of the time at home. I love not having to physically commute an hour to a job I hate, I am enjoying the slower pace of life and getting to spend time with my dogs and husband and working on projects around the house and things.  I'm actually on the opposite side of things, where every time they mention opening things up and us all getting back to work, I get anxious and upset and dread it. I just feel like I'm in an isolated bubble right now, and although I know this pandemic is bad for a lot of people, it's given me a very much-needed mental vacation from the 'rat-race' which I am personally appreciating the hell out of. I know eventually I have to physically go back to work, and even thinking of it makes me feel ill.

emeraldduchess

@ashaislurking thank you.   I am also mentoring a first year teacher (somehow I've entered the "veteran teacher" category which still doesn't seem possible) and it is so hard to advise and support her when most of the time I feel like I have no clue what I am doing. 

inthewoods23

@ashaislurking thankfully most of the people I've seen around outside appear to be family units and not groups of friends

@stillcozy would at least driving around with no destination but back home be good for you? My boss has done that a few times just to get some new scenery.

@emeraldduchess I can't even imagine both teachers and students having to get a grasp all at the same time on online learning. You're doing the best you can and that's all the world can possibly ask for. Our meat situation at the grocery stores seems to be all fine

@capnjackharkness same, I'm enjoying the home time and the mental break from everything, including people.  DH sometimes drives me mad though.

ashaislurking

@capnjackharkness Many of us are experiencing this pandemic as a traumatic event, because that's very much what it is. Many people are experiencing ambiguous grief related to our loss of our "normal" lives, and coming back into this new normal post-COVID19 (whenever that happens) is expected to trigger some post-traumatic stress and anxiety in a lot of people. Once you've found a sense of comfort in the trauma, it's very hard to come back. I know that this may not be the most helpful thing to you right now, but do know that you're not alone in these feelings and that they aren't in any way shape or form abnormal ways to feel.
@emeraldduchess It's definitely difficult to mentor someone through a situation you've never experienced before. I think the best thing that you can do is just acknowledge that this is new for everyone and brainstorm ideas together, using your experience in a more "normal" situation to guide and shape the knowledge base of what is likely to work and not work.
@inthewoods23 I really wish I could say the same around here about it being family units that are out and about. My neighbors constantly still have groups of people over to their house to work on vehicles and for the kids to play together. It's maddening some days.

krash_

I feel like I've got too many balls in the air and while I haven't yet totally dropped any of them, I'm also not doing a great job of keeping all of them up. MH and I are both working from home and luckily nothing has changed too much for either of our jobs. He has to take a mandatory unpaid two week leave but we're lucky that it's not more than that. We have been pretty successful with getting what we need at the store. We've been using Shipt and Instacart and if we need to go into the store, MH has been doing that with a mask and gloves. We are currently in a stay-at-home order until 5/4. I don't know if that will get extended or not but schools will probably be out for the rest of the year. Overall I think our state has been doing well. We have some of the lowest cases and death per capita rates and a lot of models have decreased our projections. I'm hopeful that our governor will be smart with reopening our state.  

emeraldduchess

@inthewoods23 I've seen quite a few groups of teens walking around my town. They've put caution tape around fields and playgrounds but many of them are just climbing over it. I don't know if they don't understand what's going on or if they just don't care.

Well, school buildings are going to remain closed through the end of the school year, which means 2 more months of remote teaching/learning. I won't see my students in my classroom again. I knew this was coming, but I still need time to process this decision and what it means. 

inthewoods23

@emeraldduchess sorry you won't get to see your students for the rest of the school year.

We just had a company meeting and they've implemented pay cuts across the board. 35% reduction. However, the bottom limit is $60k. So for some people they actually won't get the full 35% pay reduction. And for anyone whose salary is already below $60k, there's no reduction in pay at all. Our company is heavily in the oil and gas market so we are being hit hard as a company so hopefully I get to stick around through all this.

Right now I'm glad we bought a house that we could afford if only 1 of us was working. Living below our means is helping ease the anxiety about all these changes.

asf0613

@inthewoods23 sorry to hear about that new news from your company.  definitely a big hit but i guess based on industry it makes sense.  im trying to tell myself that im creating new spending habits that i will carry with me once back at 100% and then ill really be able to get on track

emeraldduchess

@inthewoods23 I'm so sorry about that news. FX you'll be able to get through this OK. 

keikilove

@emeraldduchess I’m so sorry for the stressful turn of events. What others have said already is undoubtedly true: you are doing the absolute best that you can under these circumstances. In-person school is also finished for the year here, and there is talk of starting next school year virtually as well. Very very challenging. I have friends in education all across the country, and everyone is super stressed by the unknown nature of it, plus the sheer hours on the computer trying to make it all work. And for those w families at home to take care of and trying to teach at home on top of teaching their own classes, it’s a real nightmare. Here are a couple of thoughts we’ve been sharing on the whole experience. Some statements resonate more than others.❤️

whitealbum29

@inthewoods23 Good idea to check in! Good that the higher ups at your H's company are taking unpaid time too. I'm so sorry about the 35% reduction at your company! Fingers crossed you get to stay on through this.
@asf0613 So sorry about the 50% pay cut! I'm glad your H is still getting paid in full and hopefully your company will be able to pay you regularly in not too long! Ugh sucks that you can't get a few months off for your mortgage without it hitting you in the end. 
@ashaislurking Ugh the states still without stay at home orders scare me! It's so frustrating.    Even in states WITH the orders there are bound to be stragglers who aren't taking it as seriously, so if it's coming from the top-down that it's not serious enough to stay at home, people are going to assume they can go around normally. 
@emeraldduchess So sorry teaching remotely is hard, you're absolutely right that no teacher was prepared to have to do this! But you/they mobilized because that's what you needed to do. It always amazes me honestly that school districts all over the country got things set up relatively quickly! At least it seems that way from the outside. I'm sure your students are happy to have contact with you every day in any way they can, so they can have some normalcy. But yes it is so sad to think of seniors missing out on their spring semester and all those milestones. We'll be dealing with a lot of residual effects of this for a long time I think....feelings of loss, anxiety, trauma, etc.
@capnjackharkness Definitely also feel dread when I think about what it will be like to return to "normalcy," because I know things won't be exactly the same and there's just no telling what it will be like to go out into the world again. Hugs!

The panic and overwhelm of the first couple of weeks of quarantine have gotten better for me, I think people just adapt to these things to a certain extent because we have to. SO's job and mine are stable right now. He had just started a new job (and new career path) at a credit union at the beginning of March and he's one of five of six essential employees so he is still going in. I was beside myself about him leaving every day for a couple weeks, but he only interacts with those same few people every day and they're not letting customers in so I feel better right now. My job (at an online news outlet) is apparently stable at the moment, my boss sent an email out a couple weeks ago saying funding is good right now and we shouldn't worry. I don't mind staying home all that much, I'm kind of a homebody but I know it's not super healthy and I'm trying to force myself to go on walks while social-distancing. So we're very lucky now and I feel pretty good when I focus on our own little universe and our present-day, but thinking about the overall economic effects of this, how long it will last, how many people will get sick and how little support there is for victims of both the virus and the economy....is A LOT. 

New cases in our state have been down the past couple of days but of course this doesn't mean anything in the long term necessarily. But we're clinging to any good news! Last I checked our state's stay at home order had been extended to May 15. 

SO is going to our big grocery store for the first time in a couple of weeks this week, hopefully some of the shortages will be better?!

ashaislurking

@whitealbum29 Yeah, I'm part of the wonderful northern midwest cluster of states that apparently just don't care (Iowa, Nebraska, South Dakota, North Dakota). I don't understand WHY they aren't implementing stay at home, they just... aren't... and I honestly don't expect them to any time soon unless our death rates skyrocket. There's even a speedway in South Dakota that's opening back up for a race this Saturday. They're idiots.
I'm glad your jobs are stable and that the initial overwhelm is dying down!

capnjackharkness

@ashaislurking YES! Helpful thank you!  I mean, I was excited to spend a few weeks teleworking and being at home and at a slower pace of life.  I'm grateful to have had as much time at home as I have, without too much hardship directly in my face. But I'm definitely anxious about returning to the old 'normal' as I hate my job (even though I am grateful to have it), and they were 'so understanding' after the govt shutdown last year (I'm a Fed), NOT!!!!  So I'm sure it's going to be even more of a cluster than it was back then (my supervisor downgraded my rating for last year because she just didn't feel the *pizzazz* from me, despite me actually getting my work done ahead of schedule, even with a 35 day shutdown, and I don't expect better this year from our management).  AND that doesn't mention the whole fact that we could all be in and out of quarantine depending on if there are any second waves or anything coming later on this this year.  So yeah, I think you nailed it with adjusting to *this normal* and this normal is working for me mentally, so I'm even more anxious about being forced to return to the *old normal* which of course, won't be the *old normal* anyway, but rather a *new new normal*

I'm sorry for everyone facing the pay cuts and furloughs.    Totally sucks.  @inthewoods23 I'm glad you guys still sound like you'll be ok, but it's always hard to lose that much income!

Also, I gotta go get TP soon and I'm dreading it.  I usually buy it in bulk from amazon prime, but I'm running low so my usual "just go pick up a 4/6 pack til next order arrives in a few weeks" may not work. I have little confidence that order will actually be filled.  Ugh.