To Circumcise or Not?

emkohan

Found out today we are having A BOY. Freaking out a little because having a boy seems hard and scary (already have a 2 year old girl). Talk to me about circumcision. My husband is not and we likely won't, but tell me your *informed* opinions please!

mflowers929

I have a boy and see 0 reason to circumcise unless medically necessary. Not only is it super stressful on the baby, it can affect their sex life later in life. There was also a FB post circulating around recently about a baby who hemorrhaged after a circumcision. It's rare but seeing that just cemented my opinion on the matter. 

Louise_Belcher

Oh man! This one could bring out some polarizing opinions. For us it is a yes. We have 2 sons and both have had it done. One before discharge and the second at 6mo due to health issues at discharge. Regionally it is the norm. My husband is, as is everyone that we would be privy to that information. Friends and family in the medical field came out of the woodwork with anecdotes of when it wasn't done and things went very bad during old age. Also, I know high school here would be rough being different. It is not okay, but it is true. If we were in a different region we would have maybe made a different choice. My second had to have a hypospadias repair that luckily was found when he went under at 6mo for his circ and it was able to be fixed then rather than discovering it when he was older and having an even more difficult recovery. Circ went quick and smooth for my first. He was only out of the room for about 15min, wasn't crying when he was returned, and diaper changes during recovery were not a problem and he seemed unfazed. Hypospadias repair recovery was shocking, sad, and difficult. I hope no one has to go through that.

linz36

As a physician and an avid promoter of choosing what is done to your own body I never wanted to circumcise my boy or pierce my girl's ears until they were old enough to tell me it's what they wanted. Because of my husband's religious beliefs all males are supposed to be circumcised, but not at a certain age. When the twins were born this discussion got heated and my husband became very emotional and I caved and had our son circumcised at 2 weeks old. I have regretted it ever since. The circumcision was fine, however, he developed a hidden penis and now has adhesions that will require surgical correction if they do not resolve by the time he is 2. His penis is no longer hidden (16mo) but he still has adhesions; hopefully they will resolve. My husband and I are still not in agreement as to what we will do if this one is a boy.

It's such a tough call. I don't think there is an easy answer. But if it was my body, I would want to make the choice myself and not have it made for me. 

And there really is no consensus as to benefit outweighing the risk in the medical community (which is generally what we base all of our decisions on). 

Louise_Belcher

This article may be interesting to read to see the AAP's current stance. 
https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/New-Benefits-Point-to-Greater-Benefits-of-Infant-Circumcision-But-Final-Say-is-Still-Up-to-parents-Says-AAP.aspx

notagoodpatient

It’s obviously a very personal decision, but there are some medical benefits. Men who have been circumcised are less likely to get UTIs, have lower risk of HIV and other STIs (although obviously this should not be the primary method of prevention— it’s enough of a benefit that WHO was really encouraging it in Global areas of high HIV risk), and have lower risk of penile cancer. Interestingly, partners of circumcised men are less likely to be diagnosed with cervical cancer (probably related to STI transmission). 

Any surgical procedure has risks, definitely not denying that, but I think a lot of people don’t know that it’s not an entirely cosmetic procedure. 

beaandthebabes

I really let my husband be the point person on this decision because I don’t have a penis. My only real input on the matter was that in my early 20s I had 2 male friends who were not circumcised as babies who went through the procedure as adults because it made them self conscious all of their lives and that stuck with me.
the decision came down to what was traditionally done in DH’s Family and I was fine with that.
The doctor came to my room and talked to me about it before they even took him back and was so open and kind and patient that I felt more at ease. V was back in less than 15 minutes and didn’t seem to be any worse for the wear.

beaandthebabes

I think there are a lot of reasons pro and con and that it is a very personal decision. I think it is important to do what feels right for you and your family. Zero judgment or negativity required.

mflowers929

I should also note that the don't do elective circumcisions in my city. If you want your child circumcised for any reason beyond medical reasons you have to travel to another city 2 hours away.

robinj716

There are definitely pros and cons. It’s a very personal choice to each family. For me, it’s the norm to circumcise, but for my husband, it’s the norm not to. He left the decision up to me. I did my own research and chose not to circumcise. My son is 4 and knock on wood (no pun intended )  we haven’t had any issues. I don’t regret our decision. 

readytobemama

We're not finding out whether we're having a boy or girl, but if it's a boy we will have it circumcised due to religious beliefs.  It's also the norm around here, and as it's done at discharge, I feel a lot better about it than doing it a couple weeks or months later.  Obviously if there are complications at birth it may have to be later. 

emohay1988

Just found out we're having a boy. We live in Israel, so there's no question that we will be circumcising. My jewish husband isn't very religious, but we both want him to fit in as he gets older.

However, I do think it's a super personal decision for parents, and to each their own!!

chasingroygbiv

We circumcise. 

emuw

We are a no.  (And also freaking out about a boy).

swizzlemalarkey

I’ve never even seen someone intact in person. Everyone in my family has been circumcised (That I know of), I know for our kids it will definitely be more common to encounter intact men. I feel like if it’s a boy H will want us to circumcise him but part of me would feel guilty and like others have mentioned I would want my son to make that decision himself. However I’m concerned about the fact that it’s a lot harder to deal with (the procedure) when they’re older apparently? I have no idea and I for-see an argument with H happening 😩😩

raesky1111

My SO is half circumcised (if that's even A Thing, I haven't studied enough to know for sure) and so I think I'll go the same route if I have a boy or opt to not do so at all. Will talk to my doctor and get her medical input on it but if there's no evidenced reason to, I don't think we will. 

firsttimeresq

I recently had this conversation with my partner. We aren't sure what we are having, but in my religion we circumcise our boys. All my brother and nephews were circumcised without issue after birth and before discharge. I had two cousins that had it done later in their childhood and it was painful to watch them heal. So, while I prefer it for our potential boy, I also had a very open discussion with my partner on his beliefs and choices. He said he is okay with it either way, and doesn't believe it needs to be one way or the other. So we are going to do it. I totally respect the mothers here who don't want it done or want to allow the child to make their own choice. Totally understand your points of view. At the end of the day, have a conversation about it, do some research, and go with what you believe is best for your child. There really is no right or wrong answer here.

readytobemama

I thought our hospital did it before discharge but as it is elective and Canada's free health care only covers 'necessary' things, we will have to go to a private Dr for it and it will cost about $400 depending on who we use.  We will still be getting it done, before 2 weeks old likely. 

caseylynw

My husband and my son are both intact. I believe it is important to know the reasons that circumcision started and what it is believed to help. I've done several research papers on the topic and would be willing to share the information if anyone would like. It started in Sandy regions because it was difficult to keep clean. This makes sense and if I lived in a desert I would probably do the same thing. As for the other health benefits, these can all be helped by proper hygiene. If you think that you and your son can make sure he cleans properly (btw the foreskin and head of the penis remain fused until between 4 and nine years old so no need to retract and clean under, this is actually painful like removing a fingernail). Also make sure that the pediatrician uses anesthesia. Not all do and anything less is just torture. 

raesky1111

I am all here for the information!!! And if you've published your papers anywhere with free access I would love to read them!

caseylynw

I didn't unfortunately, but my resources did. I'll message you some links when I log in on my computer

robyn2201

I think it’s a very personal choice and I'm not sure there is a right choice or wrong choice. DS is circumcised. I ultimately left the decision up to DH. I felt like I don’t have a penis so I couldn’t fully make a good educated decision. 

DH was circumcised and most men and boys in our area are but our pedi said there was a strong trend going away from it. He talked to a couple of men who decided in adulthood to get it done, why they did it and how the procedure was. He talked to his cousin who did not have his son done. The son had several instances in which they were at the beach and got sand inside/under the fore skin  and it was very painful. And he talked to a couple of dads who choose not to have their sons done and still felt right about their decision. I feel like DH took the decision seriously and wasn’t just like “well I am and I want him to look like me”. He went out of his way to talk to men on both sides of the spectrum and read articles on it and ultimately made the decision to have DS done. 

jrb411

Preface: no judgment about whatever decision a person makes. Totally a personal choice and just sharing my experience.  

We didn’t have it done but wow, did we get a lot of “a friend of a friend didn’t do it and it got infected” stories. 

I was reassured when I went to my first pediatrician appointment and she basically said there’s less to worry about in terms of infection and cleaning at this point because there’s no wound care. Just clean it like anything else and don’t ever pull down on the foreskin. He’s 2 and we haven’t had any issues. However, I was really worried that it was going to be this huge hygiene nightmare because of what people said.