March STM+ check in

meanjellybean

I always seem to be the one anxious to post this check-in because my child seems to be extra difficult at the beginning of every month!

EDD/Weeks + Days: 

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 

Any questions/concerns?

GTKY: What's a quality that your kid(s) have gotten from you or their father that you love? Any that you don't necessarily love? What qualities are you hoping this baby inherits from you or your SO and are there any that you'd love to skip a generation (or two)?   

kc0711

EDD/Weeks + Days: 7/25

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD will be 20 months next week

Any questions/concerns? We are trying to introduce the idea of a brother, and she just keeps saying “no no no” every time we bring it up. It is hilarious, but at the same time, I think I have given up on her having any concept that her brother is coming. Soooo not really a question or concern, more a statement. 

GTKY: What's a quality that your kid(s) have gotten from you or their father that you love? Any that you don't necessarily love? What qualities are you hoping this baby inherits from you or your SO and are there any that you'd love to skip a generation (or two)?  

DD definitely has both DH’s and my wild streak and love for all things water. But it’s still a bit early to tell who she will be more like personality wise. In the looks department, she got her daddy’s blonde hair and blue eyes and dimples and her mama’s curls, and in my completely biased opinion, she is a beautiful little girl. Little dude will probably also look 100% like Daddy (DD is a spitting image of him), his genes are strong. I hope they both get his golf abilities, bring on the college scholarships! As far as skipping a generation, most of DH’s family is type 1 diabetics, and I really hope neither of our children get that. And I have celiac and a genetic connective tissue disorder that I hope neither of them get. 

meanjellybean

EDD/Weeks + Days: July 14/21 weeks tomorrow

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD will be 2 on Thursday!!!

Any questions/concerns? Good lord, I know we have discussed timing around potty training but I'm ready to do it now just because the diaper change battles have gotten so ridiculous! We don't even change her that often but I'm not willing to let her sit in her poop for hours (she doesn't care, she totally would) so she gets a rash. But it has devolved into whenever we have to change her, it's now a 15-20 minute battle with SO much crying/screaming/hitting. If we have nowhere to be, I let her tantrum it out and just tell her to let me know when she's ready. But when we have to get somewhere, like this morning, I feel like we have no choice but to hold her down which feels awful for everyone involved. And now it's not just diaper changes but doing anything she doesn't want to do (I know, this is all typical, developmentally appropriate toddler behavior). Like yesterday we were going to this place where she likes to play but we needed to get in the car to drive there. We walked outside (it was very cold), and she decided she wanted to go for a walk instead, so it turned into me standing there outside my car while she sat on the sidewalk and screamed and cried for 10 minutes before letting me get her in the car. Then she was fine lol. So no questions/concerns, just struggling with this behavior which I assume continues for at least another year, and I know adding a sibling will probably just ramp it up more.

GTKY: What's a quality that your kid(s) have gotten from you or their father that you love? Any that you don't necessarily love? What qualities are you hoping this baby inherits from you or your SO and are there any that you'd love to skip a generation (or two)? DD is definitely very sensitive, which I think she gets from her father. She has always needed a while to "warm up" to the room if it's more than just me and DH around. Then she becomes very social and silly, but she does it on her terms. She has these beautiful blue eyes which she gets from my side, although DH's eyes are green so it would be cool if this baby gets those! Also I have super straight hair and DD got that too. I know this is coming from someone who has never had to deal with curly hair, but I'd love for this baby to get some of the cute curls that DH had when he was little.

ETA that something DD has gotten from me, is that she is very observant. I mean, maybe she's just the regular level of observant but compared to DH, she is VERY observant lol. DH will ask "where are my keys?" When they are literally right in front of him. Or another example, I notice people's cars, kind of in a creepy way, like I'll see a car driving by and in my head be like "that's so and so's car" and it turns out to be them. DH could pass me in his car on the road and literally have no idea (it's happened several times before lol). Whereas DD will see a Jeep coming down the road and go "Jeep!" and get it right. How does she know?? She can't read!

mrsdrez

EDD/Weeks + Days: July 26 / 19 w 1 d 

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD is now 16 months 

Any questions/concerns? @meanjellybean solidarity on the diaper changing situ. She now hates getting her butt changed, I'm getting better at the standing diaper change, which is just not always practical, so the diaper changing frequency has decreased. She is also not the least bit concerned about having a dirty diaper. No solutions, only solidarity.  

I'm still so tired, and I'm starting to wonder how I will survive with 2 humans under 2. I'm planning on taking an 18 month mat leave this time, so on weekday evenings when I only spend 2.5 hours with DD and am counting down the minutes for bedtime I think to myself "how will I make it through full days with 2 kids for a year and a half??!". 

GTKY: What's a quality that your kid(s) have gotten from you or their father that you love? Any that you don't necessarily love? What qualities are you hoping this baby inherits from you or your SO and are there any that you'd love to skip a generation (or two)?  
My DD is a ginger just like her dad. I was/ still am shocked that the red hair prevailed because there are absolutely no redheads anywhere in my family tree. I hope the next kid is a ginger too, but I'm not holding my breath lol. She is also a showboat like her dad. He was always the class clown (and still is, he's a teacher lol). She loves to be the center of attention, and will yell at strangers if they're not paying attention to her. I don't know if my husband's annoying qualities (not listening to me, squirreling things away as a clean up method, etc.) can be passed down, but I hope not lol. 

stlbuckeye132

EDD/Weeks + Days: July 11; 21+2

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD turns 2 in a few weeks!

Any questions/concerns? If you could only have one of these, which would you choose? An OB you love who has gone above and beyond with your care or a hospital you love that has a lot of support for the type of birth you're hoping for? I feel like that's what I'm having to choose between and it suuucks. I'm currently leaning toward the hospital making more of a difference in the overall birth experience (I mean... who even knows if my OB would be the one to deliver this baby), but I'm curious to hear what others think.

GTKY: What's a quality that your kid(s) have gotten from you or their father that you love? Any that you don't necessarily love? What qualities are you hoping this baby inherits from you or your SO and are there any that you'd love to skip a generation (or two)?
DD is definitely a leader and social butterfly, which she 100% gets from MH. I'm glad she inherited those traits of his, but she also is a huge book lover which is all me. Looks-wise, I think she's a pretty even mix of the two of us! I hope this baby (and DD) inherit my patience but not my anxious tendencies and MH's ability to make everyone feel like an instant friend but not his driving aggressiveness.

stlbuckeye132

@kc0711 I feel like all you can really do at that age is talk about baby coming and hope for the best! haha I hope she warms up to the idea quickly once he's here!

@meanjellybean ahhhh that diaper battle sounds awful. I'm sorry! I'm also having a mental battle about trying to just force PT on DD or wait for her to show some interest... I'm normally a "rip the bandaid off" type parent, but I feel like it could backfire in this instance. I'm not really interested in having to do laundry daily and take 5 pairs of underwear and pants everywhere we go. How about you try it and let me know how it goes

@mrsdrez lol I'm dying picturing a 16 month old yelling at strangers for not paying attention to her!

Pascal86

@mrsdrez I’d choose the hospital. My midwife doesn’t do deliveries, and I actually like it because I’ve never had to stress or wonder if she’ll be there to deliver, I just no she isn’t. And I’ve been a big fan of my hospitals delivery policies for the most part, and glad they’re in line with what I want. If I was high risk I might have stronger opinions about my OB/midwife in the meantime. I mean, I absolutely love mine, but every time I see her I feel like we just hang out and chat for fun for a while, and the actual medical visit part is pretty low key and not much to do there. So wouldn’t care if someone else was doing it instead. 

blaf322

EDD/Weeks + Days: 7/5 (I feel so weird about this question. Like, I don't know how to reply b/c we all know they're taking the baby before my EDD. But I'll just keep saying 7/5 since I don't know when that'll actually be lol)

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 3yo

Any questions/concerns? none right now!

GTKY: What's a quality that your kid(s) have gotten from you or their father that you love? Any that you don't necessarily love? What qualities are you hoping this baby inherits from you or your SO and are there any that you'd love to skip a generation (or two)? 

From a looks perspective, I think DD is probably a good mix of both of us? I was very long and lean as a baby/toddler and so is she... so maybe she'll have my body-shape? From a personality perspective, she's all DH. I was a social butterfly and just generally a chill, easy, kid. DD is very shy... like, she's reserved around anyone but us and my mom at first. She's also very cautious. It took her until 15mo to take steps because she was just too timid. When she finally walked, she was immediately proficient at it lol. It's great for us because we don't really have to worry about her hurting herself... but also, it would be nice if she'd just jump right in with new friends to play (so we could hang with their parents) and didn't need hand holding with so much stuff. But, I hope this means she'll grow up to be as cool headed as he is.

For the new baby, I hope he's outgoing! I hope he loves new people and, even if it means more stress for us, I hope he's a little less reserved than DD. I hope he loves sleep (just like DD and DH). If I could end up with another baby that sleeps in until 2 in the afternoon, I wouldn't hate it lol. 

@meanjellybean ugh... girl. The most unfortunate part of the timing for you (with the big tantrums and such) is that you can't have wine. 

@stlbuckeye132 I'd go with the hospital as long as you feel confident in the doctor's clinical ability. To your point, it's likely that your OB won't deliver the baby and, unless you had some reason to be really special during pregnancy last time, I bet you'll just have the normal, boring, visits this time too. The hospital staff is where it's at. They're going to be the ones to help you advocate for yourself (or not) during labor... when advocating is harder.

meanjellybean

@blaf322 so true about the wine! Except that most of these tantrums seem to happen in the morning... so maybe if they are still happening after this baby comes (likely) I'll do some baileys in my coffee or just mimosas. Or just champagne. Which is wine. lol.

@stlbuckeye132 I agree with what @blaf322 says about hospital staff. That's so true and would probably be the deciding factor for me too. Good luck with your decision!

kittenslove

EDD/Weeks + Days: July 9; 22 weeks

How old is/are your other kid(s)? Ds1 will be 6 in June, DS2 will be 4 in May; we also care for my niece who will be 8 in May

Any questions/concerns? not today. But I'm sure tomorrow

GTKY: What's a quality that your kid(s) have gotten from you or their father that you love? Any that you don't necessarily love? What qualities are you hoping this baby inherits from you or your SO and are there any that you'd love to skip a generation (or two)?

Both my boys are negotiators, which I love. They get this from their father and its awesome. However, it's gone a bit far with my niece, who likes to argue with you like a peer. So while I love the trait my husband's family brings to the mix, I think I would be okay having one kid who is more laid back like me. 

@stlbuckeye132  I agree with the others, I prioritize hospital over dr. Legitimately switched drs when I found out I was expecting with my first because I wanted private rooms and free wifi. This time I choose a hospital with the above and was known for being celiac safe (just so happens to be the same hospital)

blaf322

Carter's has BOGO shoes, if anyone is needing shoes for next season for their little(s).

kristinl492

@blaf322 oh, damn. Of course, because I JUST bought DS 2 new pairs of shoes from Target this morning 🤦🏼‍♀️

EDD/Weeks + Days: 19 + 5

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 2 next week! 😭

Any questions/concerns? None DS related at the moment

GTKY: What's a quality that your kid(s) have gotten from you or their father that you love? Any that you don't necessarily love? What qualities are you hoping this baby inherits from you or your SO and are there any that you'd love to skip a generation (or two)?   

I’m really hoping that DS maintains that blend of our introvert/extrovert personalities. I’m an introvert and DH is a big time extrovert, almost TOO much sometimes. So, I hope he lands somewhere in the middle of us. So far, it feels like he’s in that realm. He’s a pretty chill kid, a little shy but once you get him going he’s all in for playtime. 

Physically, I hope he has my sides better overall health. There are more cancers and other various conditions on DH’s side. I do hope he gets the height from DH’s side. I’m on the taller side for a female (5’7”) and DH is about 5’11/6’, so he’s certainly got some height coming his way, but the rest of the men on DH side are 6’2”-6’5”. DH is kind of the runt 😂. 

I do also hope he gets my love for learning/knowledge/reading. I always liked school and did well. DH had no patience for it and did what he had to do to get by. 

Pascal86

@kittenslove are there any considerations I should think about being in the hospital with celiacs? I was undiagnosed my previous two pregnancies, so hadn't thought about that yet. Other than ordering food that meets my needs, anything else I should have on my radar?

In terms of traits I want my baby to inherit... okay, I feel bad saying this, but part of me has always wanted a boy (just found out we're having a boy!) to see what kind of athlete he can be. I'm equally excited to see what my girls can do, but kind of wanted the chance to see it on both sides. I've always been really coordinated and a pretty fast long-distance runner. My husband is amazingly fast (when he's injury-free, which is not right now unfortunately) and comes from a family of insane athletes (there are newspaper clippings on like everyone in the family from some point in their life regarding their athletic accomplishments). So I'm eager to see what my kids can do there! While also recognizing that they might all devote their lives to non-athletic endeavors, like theatre, science, watching tv all day and eating cheetos...

On the flip side, my husband couldn't read a book to save his life (he reads a lot, but doesn't have the focus / patience for that kind of thing)... so I'm hopeful that my kids are more into that kind of thing. So far DD1 is obsessed with reading, so I have high hopes for that.

But I don't like to dwell too much on this stuff, because I figure they're just going to turn out how they're going to turn out, and not much I can do about it in most capacities.

kc0711

@Pascal86 most hospitals now are pretty conscious of gluten free. I have always been able to order food through the hospital that was gf. I always bring extra snacks just in case I can’t get anything ordered. However, I barely ate any of them when I had DD because the hospital I was at had an amazing food policy and so much gf good. But I’ll still bring them, just in case. When you do your hospital tour, you can ask to speak with someone in dietary and ask about their options. 

stlbuckeye132

Ok I just need to DD and have a pity party for a hot second. I'm pretty sure my DD is trying to destroy me. She has been such a terror lately and I can't deal. I'm understanding the term terrible twos now, but I've also heard from basically all my friends, "2 is such a fun age, it's 3 you need to watch out for!" If this is only going to get worse... Lord help me. Every single morning is such a battle, and I'm honestly terrified for what our mornings will look like when there are two of them. 😭

This meme is my life.

 

blaf322

@stlbuckeye132 solidarity sis.... I think all these toddler stages are hard for different reasons and the ones that happened before just feel easier after the fact b/c you block out the shitty parts later. 

Saturday was SO bad with DD. I decided I'm done with her shit. She had privileges taken away for poor behavior/not listening and was sent to/put in her room when she was pitching a fit so badly we couldn't even speak to her about her behavior. I wasn't willing to be around her while she acted like that. Sunday was SO much better because she knew we were serious and, although we had to give a warnings here and there, she checked herself and her behavior was exactly what I'd expect from a normal, well behaved toddler. Thank goodness... I was at my wits end! Hope you get there soon!!

Also, that meme   It's so accurate lol

stlbuckeye132

@blaf322 that's probably true. It's just like when people telling someone with an infant that it's not as hard as a toddler or teenager or whatever. Every stage has its challenges! We also had a terrible Saturday. DD decided she didn't need a nap (spoiler: she did in fact need that nap), MH had plans during her usual nap time, and it ended up with DD and I both in tears by the evening. Ugh. I've never wanted a full bottle of wine to myself so badly. Glad your Sunday was better!

meanjellybean

@stlbuckeye132 I'm right there with you. DD's behavior has gotten so much more challenging seemingly over the past two weeks. There really haven't been many parenting stages that have brought me to tears, but this one definitely has. Mostly over being disappointed in my reaction to her behaviors and just not knowing what to DO. Most of the time, I'm fine just letting her ride the tantrum out and I just let her scream on the floor and tell her that I'll be here when she's ready to do X, but the times when we don't have time to do that and need to get somewhere/do something? I'm at a loss lol. Yesterday it was nice out and she loves going to the playground, so after her nap, we got her ready to go and the three of us started walking. Well, a block into the walk she insists that I carry her (which she usually doesn't she prefers to walk, usually the battle is over holding one of our hands). I told her I can't carry her all the way to the park, and that she could either walk or daddy can carry her. She just threw herself on the sidewalk and screamed and cried, yelling "mommy, up!" over and over again. I basically just sat down next to her (we probably looked insane to anyone driving by) and felt like bursting into tears. It went on so long and she refused to move without me carrying her that finally I just threw her over my shoulder and said ok we are going home, we can try going to the park tomorrow. She flipped out the whole way home, and then for a while afterwards, crying "playground, playground." It was so sad. Then the rest of the night she'd randomly ask about the playground and I'd have to remind her that we couldn't go because she didn't want to walk, but we can try again tomorrow, and then she'd start crying again. It was brutal. Basically I wrote this novel to tell you you're not alone lol.

blaf322

@meanjellybean ugh... I'm so sorry that happened! It sounds awful. Silver lining is, now you'll be able to remind her of this time that she didn't get to go and if she doesn't do x again, she won't get to go this time. Hopefully that helps keep it from happening as often! 

meanjellybean

@blaf322 yes! I kept telling myself that it will be worth it to hold strong on the natural consequence. So hard in the moment though... they are so good at making you feel like you are breaking their little hearts!

stlbuckeye132

@meanjellybean yes! Exactly this! We are living the same life. Surely it has to be an age thing and will get better! Eventually. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I'm glad to be raising a strong-willed little woman, but damn.

blaf322

@meanjellybean I feel you on that, girl. Hugs... I hope everything gets smoother soon!

kc0711

I am really torn with what to do about nurseries and moving. We move at the end of the month, DD is 20 months old. At the new house, the plan is to set up her nursery how it is now. However, we do plan to move a lot of the furniture from her room into little dude’s room at Christmas time and get her a “big girl” room. She will be 2.5 and he will be 6 months, so time for him to go in a nursery and I’m hoping DD will be ready to not be in a crib at that point. The items I for sure need to purchase for his nursery is a dresser that I use as a changing table and a small storage unit/bookshelf. I can’t decide if I should buy those things to match the beds that will go in DD’s room when she is ready or that match the nursery items that will move over from DD. I also can’t decide if I want to set up a changing station for each kid in their room, or just one. And if only one, which room? Little dude’s because he is going to be using it longer, or DD’s because she will need it first? We are tentatively going to start potty training when we move, but right now we still lay her on the changing pad on her dresser to put on jammies at night. I don’t want to buy another changing pad if she’s going to outgrow hers not long after. But I also don’t want her to think she is being replaced by little dude, that she still matters and still has her things and routine. I am so torn!

blaf322

@kc0711 SO much to consider!! I'm not sure what the answer is for the furniture, I think that's just preference.... but changing pads are $20. I'd just get another and have one to go on top of each dresser. It's not worth the hassle, IMO, of trying to work around nap schedules or anything else when it comes to a cheap item like that.

kc0711

@blaf322 that’s a good point, I hadn’t thought about that. And in case DD doesn’t end up PT quickly, it’ll be best to have her space with her diapers and his space with his diapers. I think I have just come to terms that he really won’t have a nursery until he’s 6-7 months old and we transition DD. I loved getting her nursery together, and I feel like I'm shorting him the experience of me doing his. But he will never know he didn’t have a nursery when we brought him home from the hospital   

blaf322

@kc0711 I think I'd totally feel the same way you do. But I also think you're right, he will neither know nor care (if he did know) about how you worked out the nursery situation. You're doing a great job managing things in a way that works best for your family and that's all that matters!

meanjellybean

@kc0711 I agree with @blaf322 to just get another changing pad. I'm also planning some musical chairs with our furniture when we move, same as you. The plan is to set DD's room up the way it is now, but then move her to a bed next winter when she'll be around 2.75. I figure the baby can be in the bassinet in our room and then in the pack and play in his room until it's time to transition. But you're way ahead of me in terms of planning any other furniture lol

blaf322

Did I tell you guys this already??? If I did, ignore me.

All your bed talk made me laugh... all of you are being normal and planning to move your toddlers to regular beds at normal times. Meanwhile, I'm over here with my 3.5yo still in a crib. BUT, she told DH, "I need a bed that's down right here" (meaning, without the crib rail on the side) while I was out of town because the character in one of her books crawled into bed and she realized he didn't have to climb over the rail like she does (she'll climb into her bed, with us standing behind her, but is too afraid to climb out ) It's the first time she's ever asked us.

We're kind of hoping she forgets about it because we have it too good with her contained in a crib. She can't get out if she's pitching a fit about bedtime and she'll wake up then fall back asleep after reading a little on weekend mornings... allowing us to sleep in some (until 9am on Saturday!) If she doesn't forget, though, we're going to have to set up something for her to earn her big girl bed.... like good bedtimes for x amount of time or something lol.

kristinl492

@blaf322 I think half of parenting is just hoping your kid forgets about that thing you said or that thing they wanted 😂

meanjellybean

@blaf322 ahahaha that is too good. I hope she just forgets! For the record I intend to keep DD in her crib as long as possible. I have no urge to move her before it's necessary. If we get to next winter and she's still happy in her crib, then this baby will just continue to chill in his pack and play. At least that will mean the pack and play we got when I was pregnant with DD will actually get some use - I feel like we've only used it a handful of times because we don't travel with her often at all.