Mental Health Check in w/o 3/1

pghren

How are things for you mental health wise this week? Symptoms? Medication issues? Appointments?

pghren

I had to transfer midwife practices from one at an independent birth center where I had my first to one at a hospital. I've never even toured there, and I feel sad about being dropped like I'm too much hassle for them. I know it's mostly because my first had to be taken to the NICU from the birth center, but they also mentioned some of my meds but they didn't say which ones. I know that's not the main reason probably, but I'm not even sure if they are meds In currently in that they're taking about because the electronic charts are really bad at holding on to old information and not updating. I can't seem to let that part go because it feels really personal. 

dontcallmeshirley1

Mental health is tough while pregnant.  I always feel so limited! My usual strategies (including the medication I have) don't work out while pregnant.  Sometimes the best I can do is just make it through one day at a time.

To your situation @pghren (and I don't know how helpful this will be) but maybe it is personal, maybe they just don't want to deal with you.  And I guess, so what?  You'll be able to find a place that works for you, and you don't want to be at a practice that treats you like you're too much hassle.  My advice is to let yourself feel bummed out about it for a few days, and then just go forth and give birth with a different practice

mflowers929

I have anxiety generally, which is honestly mostly work related. It's pretty well controlled on the SSRI I take although it does break through from time to time depending on how much stress I'm feeling.
Being so sick is definitely making me feel pretty down right now. I feel useless most of the time when I'm home, and like I'm failing as a mom and wife 😞 I know it won't last forever but man it sucks right now.
Probably my biggest issue right now is my ADHD. I had finally gotten over my fear and gotten my diagnosis but because I was pregnant my doctor said it would probably be best to wait until I was done having babies before I started on medication. I might have to go back and see if there's something that I can take because it just keeps getting worse. I'm grateful for my husband because he can pick up the slack but I also just want to not have to have someone do that for me 🤷

chasingroygbiv

I’ve had anxiety for 20 years now, but it wasn’t until Senior year I knew what it was. I generally start meds after delivery around my 6 week pp appointment, but by that point I’m pretty miserable and struggling to leave my room or let anyone see baby. I did ask this time if it would be ok to start a couple weeks before delivery or immediately after and they said of course. *TW* even though I am anxious during pregnancies due to PGAL and my anxiety in general, my biggest struggle is PP up until my babies are about a year so I generally wean at that time. I also struggle significantly during sick season (influenza, stomach flu, etc). I generally ask for no visitors until baby is a few weeks, but for sure no children beyond our own.

That’s where some of my OCD comes out, too. I feel comfort in knowing my doctor is aware of my struggles and is keeping me in check. He asks at every appointment how I’m feeling anxiety wise and tells me to call if there’s ever a change. Mental health is sooo important and I wish they’d check in on everyone’s MH more often, especially PP! I think it would be wise to follow mother’s for the 1st year. 

readytobemama

@pghren that would be so disappointing, but like pp mentioned, going to someone that treats you as a hassle or just another patient isn't worth the extra stress.  My current Dr treats me like that, and has done minimal testing and appointments are so brief and vague, that it makes it more stressful thinking of all the things she could be missing.  I'm actively looking for a midwife and/or new Dr as I don't feel comfortable going back.  It's hard to change especially mid pregnancy, but do what's best for you and baby. 

pghren

So I had my first appointment with the new midwives yesterday. They were cool with my ~2 year old running around the room which is a good sign, and the receptionist is super nice. It's odd to process seeing midwives in  hospital, but I plan on taking a tour. They gave me starting b6 three times a day in addition to my anti-nausea med. My new concern is vomitting up my other meds. I never know hiw to deal with that. I take stimulant ADHD meds, an antidepressant, and a booster med during pregnancy and breastfeeding. The ADHD I have an afternoon booster dose I can take, but the other two can have some wicked side effects if you go off them too quickly. A) I'm not trying to go off them and I don't know how to treat vomitting after taking them vs forgetting a dose.

@mflowers929 see a psychiatrist or another doctor! I take ADHD meds in pregnancy and while nursing. There just aren't enough studies to suggest that it's unsafe, and dealing without can be a huge source of stress (and general chaos). I'd at least reccomend a second opinion from someone used to treating ADHD. 

@chasingroygbiv is it an anxiety only med or an antidepressant? Most antidepressants are safe in pregnancy. Maybe it would be worth considering? 

shredgnarr

I was told to stop taking my adderall (20mg IR, 3/day) and xanax (0.5mg as needed, only 10 prescribed/month) immediately which has heckin sucked, and for now I can stay on my zoloft (150mg, 1/day) at least until the 3rd trimester. My OBGYN, the OBGYN's NP, my mom (retired RN, mostly pediatrics and ER tho), and my primary doc (former OBGYN, now mostly general internal med) all wanted me to stop those especially so I listened lol. There is much more anti-xanax info/studies available than anti-adderall ones however since I'm already high risk b/c of twins I figure I shouldn't risk it. Luckily for me, I happen to work at a very popular coffee shop so if I'm feeling extra tired and miss my adderall I can supplement with caffeine AND I know exactly how much is in my drink b/c I usually made it myself😘

shredgnarr

Mentally I'm fine (thank heck) but emotionally not so much. I am very relieved that my parents now know however my mom is stressing me the heck out. Quick background: I'm 23, unmarried, v casual w/babies' father, my parents haven't met him before. This early on, I really just needed assurance as cheesy as it sounds that they still love me, that everything's gonna be okay, that they'll support me (emotionally, not expecting unconditional financial support) no matter what. My dad has been AWESOME. He's not a big talker and that's okay b/c I was still able to tell that he didn't hate me or anything. When I sat them down and told them he held/rubbed my hand a bit and told me he loved me which meant so much to me. My mom on the other hand has been a heckin nightmare. She is VERY Catholic and has kept pressuring me into going to church with her, asking super invasive questions about my sex life and the father (e.g. is he your boyfriend? no. then why did you have sex with him? i didn't raise you like this; where are your morals?!) and just being super judgemental. I'm still deciding b/w adoption and keeping them (I want to keep them but idk if that would be the best choice for them in the long run; I like the idea of a two parent HOME over 2 co-parents, financial reasons, etc.). My parents know this. I was talking OBVIOUSLY hypothetically that like if I keep them, that twin baby carriers are so ugly (one baby on your back, other on your front, so you're a baby sandwich) and my mom flipped! She was astounded and was like "are you actually wanting to keep them?!?" which hurt SO much. Like, be mad at me not them! They're innocents. That might not be the best example but it hurts that she treats them as if they are parasites. The last day I was in town, she finally asked to see my ultrasound pics! But when she looked at each one her face seemed to get more and more disgusted and holy heck idk how to deal with that. She also made me see a Catholic therapist who was a nice lady but was very "God" heavy when she spoke which made me feel uncomfortable. Tl;dr: right now I need support, I DO NOT need nor want solutions or advice atm, and rn my mom, through her "advice" and constant verbalizing of all of my flaws and mistakes, is making me feel like a good-for-nothing hoe. I have tried telling her (nicely) than I need support not advice rn but she wasn't able to differentiate b/w them. Very worried b/c I have to move back home in 2 months to CA (want to have babies in hospital used to high risk pregnancies, need parents to watch my dog, will be on bed rest for a while likely, etc.) and have to leave most of my support group and friends behind in TX 😥 End rant. *big sigh*

shredgnarr

Ooooo also, mom doesn't want me to come to my cousin's wedding in April "b/c I'll be showing." Really she doesn't want the babies great grandma (her mom) to know they exist (she is older but it hurts and I wanted her to eventually meet them) and she thinks I'll "steal the show?" What the heck?! It's not like I'm a bridesmaid or anything! Also, if I don't go, she doesn't have to ask that my aunt's best friend's son (who sexually assaulted me at my last cousin's wedding two years ago) not be invited 🙃

tuesdayw1992

@shredgnarr wow I'm so sorry your going through this. I know you don't want advice so I won't give it but we are here for you! 

balletnerd

So I had what I’m assuming was a panic attack about 6 months ago. I basically had heart attack symptoms and went to the hospital and they said I was perfectly fine. I haven’t had one since and am still not sure what set it off. But I am nervous of it happening again because it was not fun at all. I feel like it would be especially concerning now that I’m preggo. 

pghren

@balletnerd that sounds like a panic attack. Was it something specific that triggered it that you remember? If you normally see someone I'd talk about how you're worried about it now that you're pregnant

balletnerd

@pghren. No not really something specific. I was actually driving to do a meetup with some girls in my former bump group! So it was heading to a fun getaway! That’s why it seemed so random to me. I do not see anyone. I’m horrible I don’t even have a primary care dr. The only person I see for my health is my midwife. Haha

pghren

@balletnerd it might be worth asking your midwife if there's anyone they recommend seeing or anyone they work with 

firsttimeresq

@shredgnarr i can relate. I am pregnant with my first. dating my partner but its still new, less than a year. I come from a very conservative family, and they already hated my partner. Now they have completely ceased talking to me since I told them I was pregnant. My mother will call sometimes to see how I am, but will start crying and asks me not to tell anyone in the family. They already know I'm going to keep it. My brothers initially told me they would support me and loved me no matter what, but now have also stopped talking to me. My friends live in other parts of the US. So its just me and my partner handling it all on our own, which is a lot to deal with emotionally. I try to just focus on what's to come, and what I need to do to prepare for this new life I'm growing but I can't lie and say it doesn't bother me that I'm essentially dead to my family. I wish you all the best! 

pghren

@firsttimersq Have you and your partner considered moving somewhere you'll have more of a support system?

mflowers929

Anyone else feel like their anxiety is terrible right now with everything going on? Like, it was already bad just from being pregnant and the hormones, and then there's this shit.

Louise_Belcher

@mflowers929 Yes. I feel a bit numb but also hanging by a thread. The tears are right under the surface.

pghren

So the problem if not being able to take/keep down my meds has definitely been noticed. My depression is pretty deep. I didn't even realize how bad it had gotten until I was chatting with woebot (a cbt chatbot app) and realized I wasn't having luck feeling any better after reframing negative thoughts. I took half my dose of my two moat important meds yeaterday afternoon, but then I threw up again after dinner. This is so hard

chasingroygbiv

This is personal and no one needs to answer.. 

Is anyone currently NOT on medication (or yet anyway) but contemplating starting due to the anxiety this virus is causing? I’m really struggling the last few days and I don’t know if I continue to blow it off or if I need to do something like start my meds now (usually I wait until delivery to start my anxiety meds). Orrrrrr if nothing is going to help anyway because this virus is just that scary.  Clearly, I’m a mess over here. I’m also really struggling because I haven’t left the house in over 2 weeks and I have to next week for my A/S that’s in a town with double+ the cases ours has..... 

itsmehere1212

@chasingroygbiv I have been considering it. I take meds for PPA and I have weaned after both boys were about a year because we wanted to try to get pregnant. I have my anxiety as something to talk to my OB about at my virtual appointment tomorrow morning. I’ve also been considering virtual therapy. A lot of psychologists (at least in my area) are opening up to new clients. Im starting to think talking to someone would be very helpful for me right now.

eta: I also have not left my house in three weeks and the idea of going anywhere is extremely daunting.

Louise_Belcher

@chasingroygbiv It would be totally worth having the conversation about anxiety meds and how you are feeling with your OB. Know you are not alone in the struggle. This is a really scary time, but just because most people are also scared doesn't mean you shouldn't ask about help. I also second virtual therapy. Given the current situation it is offered by a lot more psychologists, social workers, and counselors and many insurances have rapidly switched their coverage to include it.

pghren

@chasingroygbiv I was on meds but morning sickness threw that all out of sorts. I had a telehealth appointment with my psychiatrist to get back on two of my meds, and it has helped. The emotions from this pandemic have proved to be their own beast for me, but getting back on meds has been good for me

I'm going to start an April thread if mobile will let me