Starting this off with a disclaimer that this is not directed *at* anyone here, and I realize I approach this topic biased since I don't live near any family so this isn't even an option for me. BUT... I don't think parents should just assume that grandparents will want to take on childcare for your kid(s) or parents should be offended if you ask and they say no. They're grandparents, let them be grandparents and not caregivers if that's what they want to do.
@stlbuckeye132 saaaame! I've been thinking this for a few days. TBH, it did come up here and that's what made me think of it initially. And then someone else I know complained b/c her BIL didn't want to watch their kid. Like, uhhhh... it's not their responsibility to watch your kid for free. If they help, it's out of the kindness of their heart and should be appreciated. If they don't, that's okay! They don't have to want to function as your babysitter.
@stlbuckeye132 same. I've always lived a good distance from my parents since having kids, so I've never had that option, (nor would I use it- my mom's not someone I would want doing childcare) so I'm always surprised when people are upset that they can't reap the benefits of free childcare.
@stlbuckeye132@blaf322 yup. Agreed. I’ve never even had the option because Army life, but I can’t imagine just assuming my mother would do it (I mean she would because that’s her happy place as a childcare expert/PhD focus, but that’s beside the point) and my MIL isn’t allowed to be alone with DS and we limit visits to 1x every 3 years for 15 min. No joke.
@blaf322 yeah something on here reminded me of this UO of mine, but it's one I've had for a long time. Idk, I just feel like they've already done the whole parenting thing, now they want to be the grandparent and not also have to be the disciplinarian for your kids while you're at work or wherever. They're also likely around retirement age and, I don't know, maybe have their own plans for how they want to spend that free time they have?! If a grandparent volunteers to help with childcare, great! By all means, knock yourself out, but I definitely don't think it should be expected of them.
@stlbuckeye132 I was that parent. Lol. I kept hinting I wanted my mom to take DD, but when it came down to it I could tell it was just too much for her. She takes care of my grandparents which is a lot, and likes to travel so deep down I knew it wouldn't have been a permanent solution. She's always there for us in a pinch though and luckily our daycare is pay by the hour, so my mom takes her out for days or afternoons here and there for fun, and when my in laws get home from Florida in May they'll do the same. My mom was a SAHM when I was little but my grandparents took care of my brother when she went back to work so I just assumed she would do the same. My bank account reallyyyyy wishes she would have agreed to it, but I know DD is thriving at daycare so.. everything happens for a reason.
Knowing that baby is due in July, and is a boy- I am already planning on 2 years of preschool, and starting kindergarten at 6 years old. I think early childhood is SO important, and boys especially do better when they arent pushed into a classroom at the earliest possible age.
@modoodles ahhh as soon as I found out we were having a July baby, I started thinking about whether to start kindergarten at 5 or 6. I still don't know what to do, but luckily I have a few years to figure it out. haha I think you're right though, I know several boy parents who started their son at 6 and don't regret it at all.
Also team boy/thinking about kindergarten. H never went to school/was homeschooled and my MIL says its largely because he couldn't read until age 9 and didn't speak much but was hyperactive and would have been put on ritalin likely which she was not in to (she also had 3 in 6 years so I think it was generally easier to manage them all at home for her). I don't think I could ever homeschool (also I work) but I see the benefit in an extra year before kindergarten. Also, as a summer baby myself, it was always a bummer being the youngest in the grade!
I’m an August baby, went to school at 5 and did great!
My baby brother is also an August baby, parents waited until 6 and he did great!
it just depends on the kiddo. I could already read and count and do all that very young, so I excelled. My brother needed some more time to mature so my parents waited and he did just fine too
Re: Parents. Mine and my In Laws get upset if we don't ask them to babysit haha. They are sometimes telling us to go out and do something so they can hang out with DS or my parents come get him for the weekend. I'm so thankful they are like this and enjoy spending time with our kid, but it is never expected for sure. I'm also very thankful we can trust both sets to take him overnight if need be.
Re: Kindergarten DS is born two days before our school cutoff date of September 30. With us starting school in early August, I just can't imagine sending my kid to school when he is still 4 for the first 2 months. This one though...I'll probably send when 5, but there are a lot of factors to consider.
I would be totally happy skipping spring and heading straight into summer. Spring and fall just blow. It's just all muddy and brown and messy. I hate that.
@modoodles maybe it's because you're farther north... but the summer heat is oppressive here in the south! I love the summer too. It has it good points (drinks, sun and summer fun) but I could do without breaking a sweat while getting DD into her car seat each morning
I agree with @footdrbritt it depends on the kid, also depends on what kind of environment you're sending them to. I have a September bday and started K at 5, but I went to a private school with very small class sizes and lots of individualized attention, etc. Not sure how I'll feel about sending my just-turned-5 year old to our feeder school for K which could potentially have 28-30 kids in a class. But who knows, maybe it will be the right thing!
My UO is super lame but WHERE IS THE SNOW this winter?? I'm on the mid-Atlantic and we have gotten next to nothing, not even a threat of snow. The last few years we've had late winters so I guess there's still hope but once March hits I'm sure I'll be annoyed if it snows lol. I just love the anticipation of a good snow storm and the possibility of getting off school (I mean work) the next day. That kid-like excitement has never left me.
@modoodles I love fall but since I live in Minnesota now spring is the absolute worst. It’s just mud. So much mud. And random 18 inch snows in April that nobody is in the mood for. Groooooooss. I loved spring when I lived in Louisiana and Virginia. No killer heat yet, just warmth with no sweating. Sigh.
I love each season for awhile, then get bored. But autumn is my absolute favorite (before it starts getting too cold) Thankfully in the PNW we distinctively get all four seasons, hot summers, cold snowy winters, then all in between (sometimes in one day). I loved summer growing up, but the super hot is not my friend anymore, so I like the beginning and end of the season as its changing. Winter is the worst, probably also because of some self-diagnosed SAD, and I hate being cold all the time, HATE driving in snow because people are idiots more often than not
I'm annoyed by people in my FB newsfeed who are sharing so much general fear mongering stuff about Coronavirus, yet don't get flu shots and swear up and down that elderberry syrup will cure it all. Eff you. I think if there is no serious medical reason you can't get a flu shot - you should just get the damn flu shot.
@modoodles PREACH i keep telling people just to wash their damn nasty ass hands.
the fear mongering is the worst! People should prepared, yes, but if you practice good hygiene and generally are safe about it, you should be fine. I literally have friends doomsday prepping and it makes me laugh
@modoodles I was just about to say something about the coronavirus. Also don't believe the crazed hype... Yes if you get infected you could end up feeling horrible for awhile, but the majority that get severely ill and/or die are also around medically sick (heart lung problems, diabetes, etc). H and I were just talking about this this AM. The only slightly spooky thing about it is that people in china are now reporting second infections of it after being cleared. So it'll be interesting to see where that leads. (We have 4 coronavirus patients that were transported to our hospital awhile back, made national news, and had random passerby's complaining loudly on the news *insert eye roll here*) Not to mention the non educated side of my family also loudly complaining, YOU WILL BE OKAY.
ETA: @footdrbritt YES people wash your hands, I read a study this AM saying that if more than the 20% (!!!!!) of air travelers that actually keep their hands clean, we could decrease risk of transmitting infections by almost 70%. TWENTY PERCENT, that statistic was grossly horrifying to read.
Another, I know that women can do whatever we want (or SHOULD BE ABLE TO) with our own bodies, blah blah blah.. but I find hairy armpits to be disgusting. 🙈 Last summer I went dancing with a couple of girlfriends and there was this otherwise gorgeous girl killing it on the dance floor, but her arms went up and THERE WAS SO MUCH HAIR and I just kind of froze. Nope. Can't do it.
Re: the hand washing... while hand sanitizer has it's place, I think the lack of education around what it's good for hurts us. People think hand sanitizer replaces hand washing.
@blaf322 yup. Scrub those suckers. DS does a better job than most people (mostly because I enforce washing like you’re scrubbing in and he’s a disgusting dirty kid lol)
@footdrbritt we're having issues with DD refusing to wash her hands (which means we force the issue and do a shitty job) SO, DH and I were just talking about it last night. I ordered some sticker charts for her so that we can get her into the habit of it again. Question... when teaching him, did you just teach by example (washing hands with him/showing him what to do)? I worked in infusion pharmacy compounding for several years so I use the aseptic technique I learned back then out of habit... but didn't ever really push that on her. I think teaching her better is a good idea.
@blaf322 we just showed him and let him use the kitchen sink with a step stool. We usually sing the ABC’s or something else easy, and we’ve been lucky that he really does it himself/likes it. He’s really insistent on it, so I’m hoping it stays like that.
Maybe a fun soap? We got a turtle soap for him which he loves and keeps him entertained
Re: schools. Our school cut off dates and whatnot are totally different than yours. The cutoff is the end of the year, so my DD (an October baby) will start full day kindergarten in September at 3 years old, so this kid will already be ahead of the game lol. That said kindergarten in my province seems to be quite different from my "research" of American school systems (aka some of the stuff I've read on here and blogs lol). It's all play based for the first two years (which is great in some aspects, but not in others, in my opinion), and each kindergarten class has a teacher and an Early Childhood Educator who work as a team. There's no crazy standardized testing or anything like that. There's also not really many formal "preschools" in my area. For most preschool is just daycare. A lot of people just send their kids to school because they can't afford another year of daycare, this will definitely include me (barring any extenuating circumstances obviously).
Re: hairy armpits. I'm with you. They freak me out. Armpits are the thing that gets shaved the most often.
Re: Seasons. Give me all the Summer. There's never enough Summer. I like Spring, even though it is muddy and gross and it always snows until at least April, it's still the promise that Summer is around the corner.
Re: Snow. I'll send you some of ours. We have like our 7th snow day of this school year today.
Also, if you've noticed I never have any of my own UOs. I can never think of anything. I also just hate the thought of offending people lol, which I do realize is kind of the point of these things ha.
OH just thought of a good one.. I am not offended by the "C" word. I don't see how it's any worse than any other swear word. If there is some history of sorts I'm missing, please feel free to *try* to enlighten me. (Also should add... it's not like I go around calling people c***'s lol)
Same @mrs_sheddy! I'm not going to be more offended by someone calling me that instead of a b!tch. I think they are pretty equally unappealing in terms of what I'd like to be called LOL!
@rachelredhead I knew you lived in Louisiana at one point, but VA too! I was born and grew up in LA and now live in VA. That's so cool! Where where you located in each state?
Also: YES SEND SOME SNOW. I need a few days off of school. We have had literally nothing Thank goodness we have an early spring break or else I would have some intense rage at like...everyone.
My UO: I think basic healthcare should be publicly funded(generally labelled as "Free healthcare"), for everyone regardless of what you do with your life. Now if you want to try and use that for COMPLETELY cosmetic (bigger boobs, you gotta pay for that), or unnecessary things/overused, but not actually utilized services, then you're paying extra for that. (and yes I do see that there could be a lot of gray area for that) And don't get me started by saying "well nothing is for free" I do know and understand that as well. But possibly, if we generally take care of ourselves and one another before shit really hits the fan because you can't pay for your healthcare... then it ends up being exponentially more expensive.
@footdrbritt thanks!! I have now fallen down the rabbit hole of making soap with fun little prizes in the middle. DH is going to be so annoyed when all this shit arrives
@nursejenn5 100% agree there should be a public option. Those who disagree...TRICARE (military insurance/medicine) is 100% ‘socialized medicine’ and it’s not perfect, but it is free. Medicare and Medicaid are socialized services and again, not perfect but at least it’s a basis to start and go off of.
When I did civilian care the amount of people who didn’t get their insulin, who couldn’t afford to do things to save their life and limbs was maddening.
There’s ways to make it work, our politicians just don’t give a shit.
stlbuckeye132
member
Re: UO Thursday - 2/27
yup. Agreed. I’ve never even had the option because Army life, but I can’t imagine just assuming my mother would do it (I mean she would because that’s her happy place as a childcare expert/PhD focus, but that’s beside the point) and my MIL isn’t allowed to be alone with DS and we limit visits to 1x every 3 years for 15 min. No joke.
it just depends on the kiddo. I could already read and count and do all that very young, so I excelled. My brother needed some more time to mature so my parents waited and he did just fine too
Re: Kindergarten DS is born two days before our school cutoff date of September 30. With us starting school in early August, I just can't imagine sending my kid to school when he is still 4 for the first 2 months. This one though...I'll probably send when 5, but there are a lot of factors to consider.
i keep telling people just to wash their damn nasty ass hands.
the fear mongering is the worst! People should prepared, yes, but if you practice good hygiene and generally are safe about it, you should be fine. I literally have friends doomsday prepping and it makes me laugh
The only slightly spooky thing about it is that people in china are now reporting second infections of it after being cleared. So it'll be interesting to see where that leads.
(We have 4 coronavirus patients that were transported to our hospital awhile back, made national news, and had random passerby's complaining loudly on the news *insert eye roll here*) Not to mention the non educated side of my family also loudly complaining, YOU WILL BE OKAY.
ETA: @footdrbritt YES people wash your hands, I read a study this AM saying that if more than the 20% (!!!!!) of air travelers that actually keep their hands clean, we could decrease risk of transmitting infections by almost 70%. TWENTY PERCENT, that statistic was grossly horrifying to read.
Question... when teaching him, did you just teach by example (washing hands with him/showing him what to do)? I worked in infusion pharmacy compounding for several years so I use the aseptic technique I learned back then out of habit... but didn't ever really push that on her. I think teaching her better is a good idea.
Re: hairy armpits. I'm with you. They freak me out. Armpits are the thing that gets shaved the most often.
Re: Seasons. Give me all the Summer. There's never enough Summer. I like Spring, even though it is muddy and gross and it always snows until at least April, it's still the promise that Summer is around the corner.
Re: Snow. I'll send you some of ours. We have like our 7th snow day of this school year today.
Also, if you've noticed I never have any of my own UOs. I can never think of anything. I also just hate the thought of offending people lol, which I do realize is kind of the point of these things ha.
I am not offended by the "C" word. I don't see how it's any worse than any other swear word. If there is some history of sorts I'm missing, please feel free to *try* to enlighten me.
(Also should add... it's not like I go around calling people c***'s lol)
I knew you lived in Louisiana at one point, but VA too! I was born and grew up in LA and now live in VA. That's so cool! Where where you located in each state?
Also: YES SEND SOME SNOW. I need a few days off of school. We have had literally nothing Thank goodness we have an early spring break or else I would have some intense rage at like...everyone.
Now if you want to try and use that for COMPLETELY cosmetic (bigger boobs, you gotta pay for that), or unnecessary things/overused, but not actually utilized services, then you're paying extra for that.
(and yes I do see that there could be a lot of gray area for that) And don't get me started by saying "well nothing is for free" I do know and understand that as well. But possibly, if we generally take care of ourselves and one another before shit really hits the fan because you can't pay for your healthcare... then it ends up being exponentially more expensive.
100% agree there should be a public option. Those who disagree...TRICARE (military insurance/medicine) is 100% ‘socialized medicine’ and it’s not perfect, but it is free. Medicare and Medicaid are socialized services and again, not perfect but at least it’s a basis to start and go off of.