also kicking myself for not calling the birth center sooner because now i'm too far along and absolutely devastated at the thought of giving birth in the hospital nearest us.
It is well above 0°C here today so I don't have to wear my heavy winter coat and I am living for it. I know we're due to get our "second winter" this week but for now I am soaking up this sunshine and enjoying pretending it is Spring.
@phinzlabyrinth Is the birth centre not able to take you or is it just a risk?
@kathryn0903@korthouse the birth center's cut-off to establish care is 28 weeks, and i'm already at 32 weeks. our local hospital has not only been getting some seriously bad press lately, I used to work for the system and just don't have a lot of trust or respect for them as an organization. It's my own fault for not considering the fact that I may have other options a bit sooner.
@kathryn0903 the saddest part is, they told me they no longer offer maternity tours! there is a hospital about 20 minutes away from my house so I'm trying to find out what I need to do, if anything, to give birth there instead.
We moved to a new space at work as they renovate our old space and that coupled with a raging headache are making me completely unfocused today. I just want to google baby things and go home and nest.
I AM ON VACATION ALLLLLLLL WEEK!!! Woohoooooo!!! I’m in serious nesting mode now that I had my shower. Trying not to push it too hard but I have a small mountain of clothes I need to go through and finish off my registry needs.
@phinzlabyrinth that’s absolutely BS about your hospital not giving tours. Is there another within comparable distance?
@kfrob@literatureandink i'm totally heartbroken. to give birth anywhere else (besides unassisted at my house I guess) I'd have to transfer care to a new OB. at this stage in the game I can't imagine anyone would take me as a new patient, so i'm stuck. I know i'm lucky to have good health & insurance but I can't help but think how sad this all is. maybe I need a doula after all? ugh. help. lol
@phinzlabyrinth sorry to hear about the stress of the hospital.
One thought since changing hospital doesn’t seem like an option at this point- My hospital also does not give tours, but offer a virtual tour. Maybe see if they offer something similar? Their reasoning for not giving tours anymore is that given the high volume of births, the tours became disruptive to the unit and patient privacy. I got enough out of the virtual tour to feel comfortable with not having been in person.
@phinzlabyrinth I'm so sorry you're going through this. I am a FTM so I don't think I'll be much help on solutions. My OB office only delivers at one hospital too, but I've heard good things about them from others who have delivered there so I'm hopeful. They do offer a maternity tour - I'm going Thursday - so hopefully they'll be able to answer some of my questions.
@literatureandink Enjoy that time off! I'm a little jealous. I also need my nesting mode to coincide with time and energy for me! Luckily DH has been helping me out. I am going to kick it in high gear after the small shower my mom is throwing on March 14th and finish up the nursery and start the meal prep and buying things I still need. I'm very proud of the fact that I've washed all the newborn and 0-3 month stuff, and I'm holding on to that pride during this busy work week when I probably won't get much done.
Tomorrow is my first appointment since I switched over to bi-monthly visits. I'm looking forward to hearing little Ellie's heartbeat and meeting another one of the possible OBs who could be delivering my baby. (There are 7 OBs in my practice!) Thursday is the maternity tour. Otherwise, a pretty boring week of working lots, training some people who will take over some of the tasks that only I do, and getting everything in order at work so that if I were to go into labor early, I wouldn't have to worry about anything work-related.
Our stroller and carseat have arrived! I was even able to assemble the stroller myself and I love how easily it collapses (that's the main reason we chose it).
Had our midwife appointment today. Starting next appointment, we are moving on to weekly appointment! I can’t believe it is so close! This week I will be Organizing all my baby shower stuff, writing thank you cards out, buying more things and possibly more decorating for the nursery!
I took Monday off of work after having our open house/shower this weekend, and I feel soooo much better having spent the day organizing and figuring out what else is needed. It also helped that prior to the open house I did a deep cleaning and then my mom helped me check off a lot of tasks on the to-do list while she was visiting. There is still more to do, but I feel like it’s manageable at this point!
@babyrummom Also aiming to get out thank you notes this week! Any strategy on getting through them?
@literatureandink I totally agree that something about the shower made everything more real (and immediate)!
I hate how expensive insurance is and the deductibles and all the 'not covered' crap. Just got a bunch of bills from genetic testing for this one, we needed but insurance didn't think so. And cardio tests for Kenzie that ensured we hit her total out of pocket in like 2mos. Super appreciative of the great insurance I can get through my job, and how much they cover- but needing the high end, premium insurance and still having stuff not covered and $$$ just ugh. Clearing all those out so putting a few purchases on hold til DH gets his expense report stuff back at his work. (lots of travel he pays for out of pocket then reimbursed, and it's been a lot the last month). I know it's stupid to b--ch about, but after the last 2 yrs and a LOT of medical expenses, we are just ready to steady out and not always feel like we are waiting on the next big bill.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@smallbutmighty77 That is horrible and stressful. Since you needed the genetic testing done, did you try calling your insurance to see if your doctors could supply additional information so insurance could maybe retroactively do a pre-certification? I had to do that last year for some expensive blood work ($700 plus) but it got straightened out but it was a PITA and took about 3-4 months...
@jenabary I just sat down and cranked them out. Actually I went through the notes/list my MIL made of who bought what and would go through one page take a break, eat dinner and go back and do another page.
So I work with patients on the daily, mostly elderly. I have had more than one occasion when they have asked how much weight I’ve gained. I just find it so weird that only during pregnancy is this question thought to be okay. Yesterday, I felt like I was having to defend myself and explaining that it’s not just the baby in there that causes weight gain. I’ve gained a normal amount of weight too! She was like, “You we’re pretty thin before right? This must be hard for you.”
@babyrummom It's pretty wild how being pregnant seems to entitle everyone to have an opinion about you just in general. I've been pretty lucky with everyone being very supportive. I'm shocked that you're getting comments on your weight gain though. I hope this isn't overstepping, but from your bump photos you seem so slim to me, especially for 35 weeks!
@korthouse yeah I try to just take it in a very clinical way of it’s the normalcy of pregnancy to gain weight, so I don’t mind telling them how much I have gained. I have gained a normal amount so far, but I think really old people used to be told to gain a lot less than they say now. I couldn’t tell by her response if she was judging my weight gain, but it kind of felt that way! I don’t know, it’s weird.
Now that I'm 4 weeks away from when I delivered DS, I was getting nervous about not having subs to cover the classes I teach. Got that taken care of within an hour today!
@mandarenee898 since the conditions my son had were so rare and usually not familial they deemed them unnecessary. Our Dr tried to appeal based on family history etc but no go. My mom is an attorney in the insurance space so we had it looked at as much as possible. Ugh Insurance
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@smallbutmighty77 I feel you on the insurance. Last pregnancy, I got an extra day in the hospital because of bp and insurance wouldn't cover it because they said it was medically unnecessary.
I work for a large national health insurance company and I get just as disgusted by the industry as you guys. I'm very conflicted in that I believe in a national healthcare system/medicare for all but also both mine and DH's income is generated by working in for a health insurance company.
@smallbutmighty77 Insurance is the worst. The American healthcare system is so jacked. You shouldn’t have to call for explanations on every bill. If I can’t understand how my policy works, it’s too complicated.
@KFrob right? like at the very least, if a Dr says hey we are telling her to do this, insurance should be like, ok, got it. Not- well we, who are not Drs, don't think she needs it so, if you want to do it, that's cool, but the patient can pay. Like my Dr wanted the test, she wanted to make sure we had all the info we could going into this, and insurance was still like, nope. Out of pocket, deductibles, not covered, it's so frustrating, and trying to track and make sure you aren't double billed (which we have been) is just ugh. Not to mention how much I pay out of my check every month to have the insurance we need bc of our history. I would love a better system. I don't need it to be free or taxes or whatever- though nice, I just want them to not be allowed to make drugs cost a fortune and for insurance companies to have ANY say in what they cover if a Dr says it is required. And to be some level of affordable.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@KFrob I hear you on being torn. DH and I are both paid with tax dollars, so it’s similar. I feel like I can’t ever complain about what I’m taxed.
I don’t know the correct answer to healthcare, but I feel like your access to appropriate care shouldn’t be based on how much is in your bank account. In the American system, it totally is. People don’t go to the doctor or get all the recommended treatment or medications because they can’t afford it. It sucks. Today, I learned a new ridiculous thing that happens: prompt payment discount. We’ll cut 40% off your bill if you pay it today. Clearly that means the provider doesn’t need that money, so why was it included in the bill? What if I’d just sent the check the day I got the bill? If I hadn’t wanted to ask my insurance company a question about it, I probably would have paid without the discount. Now I know to always wait a few days to see if they call and offer to lower it.
@smallbutmighty77 sorry to hear that. I know I got lucky in getting it overturned and that in the scope of things a $700 medical bill is going to be peanuts compared to what my insurance is going to get charged for this week I’ve been in the hospital. I talked with insurance on Wed and they said as long as it is medically needed to be monitored we should be fine. So, who decides that? Like what @Kathryn0903 went through, I’m listening to my doctors and if insurance doesn’t think my doctors made the right call we could be in quite the financial bind.
The American medical system really makes me sad!! There are so many things wrong. Portugal's socialized public health system isn't perfect but I'm so appreciative of it!
And @babyrummom my grandma was also asking me the other week how much I had gained and She commented that I already gained all the weight I should. So I had to explain where all the weight goes and what the Dr recommended for me. But really interesting people seem to ask it frequently! 🤷
Re: Weekly Randoms 2/24
@phinzlabyrinth Is the birth centre not able to take you or is it just a risk?
@phinzlabyrinth that’s absolutely BS about your hospital not giving tours. Is there another within comparable distance?
@literatureandink Enjoy that time off!
Tomorrow is my first appointment since I switched over to bi-monthly visits. I'm looking forward to hearing little Ellie's heartbeat and meeting another one of the possible OBs who could be delivering my baby. (There are 7 OBs in my practice!) Thursday is the maternity tour. Otherwise, a pretty boring week of working lots, training some people who will take over some of the tasks that only I do, and getting everything in order at work so that if I were to go into labor early, I wouldn't have to worry about anything work-related.
@babyrummom Also aiming to get out thank you notes this week! Any strategy on getting through them?
@literatureandink I totally agree that something about the shower made everything more real (and immediate)!
Super appreciative of the great insurance I can get through my job, and how much they cover- but needing the high end, premium insurance and still having stuff not covered and $$$ just ugh. Clearing all those out so putting a few purchases on hold til DH gets his expense report stuff back at his work. (lots of travel he pays for out of pocket then reimbursed, and it's been a lot the last month).
I know it's stupid to b--ch about, but after the last 2 yrs and a LOT of medical expenses, we are just ready to steady out and not always feel like we are waiting on the next big bill.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
Out of pocket, deductibles, not covered, it's so frustrating, and trying to track and make sure you aren't double billed (which we have been) is just ugh. Not to mention how much I pay out of my check every month to have the insurance we need bc of our history.
I would love a better system. I don't need it to be free or taxes or whatever- though nice, I just want them to not be allowed to make drugs cost a fortune and for insurance companies to have ANY say in what they cover if a Dr says it is required. And to be some level of affordable.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
And @babyrummom my grandma was also asking me the other week how much I had gained and She commented that I already gained all the weight I should. So I had to explain where all the weight goes and what the Dr recommended for me. But really interesting people seem to ask it frequently! 🤷