PG Discussion

m6agua

Ok so I have a few questions before I go to The Bump Gods for a PG. I am posing some questions/thoughts below, feel free to discuss at any length and bring your ideas to the table as well.

What should we name the group? Since the process of creating it is new, I'm not sure if I will have the ability to rename it later. We can maybe have a poll next week or something.

What is our criteria for the initial add? @shamrocandroll suggested a new thread here where people request to join and we add them based on recognizing their username and/or their participation. It sounds like in the beginning it would be up to me. I think we can come up with some basic guidelines and timelines here as a group before I get the group started. My first thought is maybe checking to see if they participated in the Role Call thread or if they have been active in some of our monthly/weekly threads like Randoms, Appointments, Symptoms, etc.

At what point after the initial add should vetting start? It seems like with the process of the initial add we may not want to start divulging personal details right away until the group is more settled. How long after the initial adds do we start requiring the vetting process? The process itself can be discussed here and finalized in the PG if needed. Will there be a point in time where we do not add/vet any new members or will we make exceptions?

Moderators (now called Leaders). It looks like TB calls them Leaders now. From my experience you cannot do polls in PG (even though they are available), so if we vote on moderators in the PG we will have to find a different way (love-tits, external means, etc). I think we can start coming up with people now and decide at a later date. I would say you can be nominated by others or put yourself in the running too. Moderators have the ability to close, delete, and announce threads, I think they may possibly be able to add and remove people from the group as well. @shamrocandroll has been nominated and @sunshinesea22 may be open to the job too?

Also let me be clear, decisions will not be solely based off liking someone or not (i.e the girls on the current season of The Bachelor). We are all adults, not everyone is going to get along all the time. Obviously if there are issues that arise (catfish, being hateful, non-participation, etc.) those are factors that can play a roll. It seems like we are going to try and do a majority vote sort of thing, but that may not always work for every situation. I think sometimes that is why PG implode. I do think the moderators/leaders (together) will ultimately have the final say for the health of the group as a whole. We seem to have a smaller group overall so hopefully it will not have to come to any of that.

soprano19

I totally want to respond to this because these are great questions and points, but I have to go teach for 3 more hours, so I will come back here this evening.

pourmeanothermocktail

I think initial add would be up to the collective group leaders, as far as whom to add. Then yes, a thread here to request entry. I would think vetting starts about 2 weeks after initial add. And maybe close to new members at 3-4 weeks, giving everyone a chance to be vetted, and them we'll know that sharing more is more safe by then? 

I think proposing new members to group in the PG itself as a thread works, and they need a 2/3 majority by love tit to get accepted, and that is where people who have concerns to air. And then once concensus has been reached, the thread with concerns can be deleted before member is added.  Because it's totally OK if not everyone loves everyone else for sure, but if you instance someone had gotten a really weird vibe, or off-color private message from someone or knew them from a previous group and had concerns, that should be aired, but if maybe someone just stated "hey, I don't love that person" but the rest of group voted them in anyway, no reason for those these comments to stick around?

That's how we did the admission into both my prior private groups. 

Also, for inspiration, names were "You Can't Sit With Us" and "The Parlor" two very different groups of women obviously.

bananapanda

Thanks for being our fearless leader @m6agua.  I don't have many strong opinions on this since I've never been on a PG, but here are some thoughts.

Group name - does this need to be something fun and flashy or can it just be like "May 2020 Moms PG"?

Initial Add - I agree that we have a thread where you comment if you want added and then the first few should be up to you.  Hopefully there are at least a few easily recognizable names that you have no doubt have participated in several threads and can help kick off the PG.  I think once you get the first few in the PG we could discuss more there or use the lovetit approach to determine who else can join.

Vetting - I don't have any thoughts on when to start vetting. 

Leaders - how many is a good number to have for a group this size?

ruby696

I think the mods/leaders can do the initial add just based on participation. I definitely trust both of your opinions @m6agua and @shamrocandroll.

I loved @shamrocandroll's method of vetting and I think we should stick with it. I think vetting should begin 1-2 weeks after we have our initial group. I know we don't want to wait too long, but I don't think we should start vetting and them have a bunch of late joiners.

I haven't put much thought into leaders, but I'm thinking 4-5 depending on how many people we end up with? Basically, we should make sure we have enough so there is plenty of "coverage" and one person doesn't get stuck doing it all the time.

bender29

When you say 2/3 majority for love-tits. Does that mean 2/3 of the leaders or 2/3 of the whole group? How long does each person have to get those love tits? Is this a stupid question?

My concern with this is that there are days when I can check into TB multiple times a day, and then there are times when I don’t get on for a few days. I don’t know how that affects things when you’re trying to get a majority vote. 

Or maybe because of this I don’t participate enough to even be considered for the PG

ruby696

@bender29 I could be wrong, but I assumed the 2/3 vote was everyone that was already in the PG. Also, my personal view is that "participation" largely involves how supportive people are to other group members. So not everyone can be on every day, but as long as their interactions are meaningful and supportive, and not just about themselves before they ghost, that's enough for me. But that's just my own opinion, not sure how everyone else feels.

heyybritt

I agree with @ruby696 re: participation. We can't be on all day every day, and sometimes I don't have anything to contribute to a topic so I don't post. But I think if 2/3 of the people already in the PG say yes to a person we can assume they've had enough meaningful interactions. I also think 1-2 weeks for the vetting is a good call, otherwise we're all just in the PG still being vague about ourselves.

catem07

@bender29 also I think it's more likely going to be "do we recognize this person as an active supporter and participant?" if yes, they are in; if no, let's check out their profile and see what their discussions/replies have been before we decide any further.

afranzen85

I don't have much of an opinion and most of what's been said sounds good enough to me. I do think the vetting should be done fairly quickly if the group won't get started until mid-March since some members might start having their babies in mid to late April. 

soprano19

Before I make my sub plans and leave for the day...

Group name: My previous PG was named We Believe in Science because it was comprised of those of us who supported vaccinating our children (I mentioned this before, but we had a few crazies on O17 that were super anti-vaxxers).

Initial add criteria: I think at this point it's mostly obvious who is active and who isn't. I think a combination of @m6agua and @shamrocandroll suggestions is good, where we start a new thread for people who want to be added and that thread gets cross-checked against the Roll Call thread.

Vetting process: I don't have too many opinions about this, but maybe some sort of specific photo like @shamrocandroll has suggested before, with your face, your bump, and a random object so it's hard to photoshop. Not sure what any other options or ideas might be.

jhysmath

No idea on a name my may 2018 one was knottiesnumbersforever and we had a bunch of knotties try to join it 😂

I think there should be 5 leaders and they should do the first round of adds before the love tit process starts perhaps do batches to make it easier and to figure out what 2/3 is and how many days needed to give everyone a chance to love tit.

I'm good with the process that has been laid out. 

mamaj1220

@jhysmath I love that group name I just laughed so hard   

As far as the other points I am good with whatever the group wants to do. I am fine with the vetting with a picture but the random object part, how do we make sure it is random BUT also that people have it? 

queenklau

Everything suggested sounds great re. Moderators 
and vetting process. Thanks for leading this, @shamrocandroll and @m6agua! 

For name how about “It’s gonna be May (2020)”

lajoliedreamer

Group name - I’m all for getting creative on this, but suggest that we preface any group name with May20 to try to dissuade random joiners (or maybe that problem has lessoned with the new PG process). 

Initial Add - a thread to comment on joining and be preliminarily reviewed/approved by leaders sounds good to me.

Vetting - I’m good with whatever the group decides. Intrigued by what the “random object” may be. 

Leaders - it depends on how big the group ends up being, but I think 4-5 will probably be reasonable. 

lisush

This is all brand new to me, but here are my thoughts

What should we name the group? Can we take a few good options and do a poll? I'm not creative but I'll vote!

What is our criteria for the initial add? @shamrocandroll and @m6agua suggestions work for me and then the love titing after that. Maybe like a threshold number as I think figuring out 2/3 or whatever would be challenging.

At what point after the initial add should vetting start? I'm cool with whatever other people think is best for this timing wise. I'm not super private personally but happy to give others the time they need.

Moderators: probably like 4? I think people can offer to be one if they are interested and also nominate others and see if they would be up for it. We could solidify it in this group still as I doubt there will be that many to choose from since we're a pretty small group.

shamrocandroll

@queenklau OMG I looooove that name suggestion! 💯 👏 

sunshinesea22

What should we name the group? I have no suggestions but I like the idea of gathering maybe 5 names and having a poll. 

What is our criteria? Maybe just a set number of lovetits to acknowledge that people are active participants (instead of an evolving fraction)

At what point after the initial add should vetting start? I support a faster timeline to vetting/total group launch. The whole point of the PG is to get to know each other better and form deeper bonds before our babies arrive. I think we should get the group launched and filled up in a week and then start the vetting and set that for a max of 1 week. Most regular participants are on here at least once per week, so that should be plenty of time to ask for a join. If you’re moderately invested in being an active participant and are aware that we’re trying to start a PG, then you should be checking in AT LEAST once a week if you actually care enough to want to be a member of the PG. Thus, filling the group shouldn’t take more than 1 week once the announcement is made for the date to start asking to join. Hell we could even start the “I want in thread” now with a goal to open on March 1 (per @m6agua’s stipulation)

Moderators (now called Leaders). I fully support both nominating and volunteers for moderators/leaders, but I’d nominated a person should be willing to accept the nomination and THEN we should vote to approve all moderators. After seeing the description of the job requirements, I’m not sure that I know the ways of the Bump enough to adequately do the group justice, so I will politely stand to the side for now (unless there are not enough willing moderators, then I guess a willing participant who needs some on the job training is better than not enough moderators?)

mokay19

I'm popping in here in my 7 minutes before a meeting to agree with @queenklau on the name suggestion!

And I'm pro @shamrocandroll being a leader and using that vetting process.  What was it... like the first few weeks of this board and someone had already deemed you the leader? LOL

Okay, off to a super boring meeting!

chewie5990

Name: naming things is not my strong suit - but I do think May20 or M20 should be in there somewhere 

Criteria: I agree with a few people saying to just figure out a set number (this may or may not equal 2/3) of lovetits you need to get in order to get through the first round and I like the idea of moderators checking out those who don't get the number to see if they're actually contributing members or not. 

Vetting: I don't really have an opinion on how it's done - but I do agree, the earlier the better. We've been on this board for a few months now, so I don't see any point in waiting once we move to the PG 

Leaders: Those nominated sound good to me! I feel like 4-5 is plenty - especially with how small our group is! 

shamrocandroll

@mokay19 Haha, I just happened to have an early May due date and have been on TB long enough to know my way around a BMB.  I enjoyed the drive-by who told me I must own TB and make millions, though.    

JStill0603

Love @queenklau ‘s name suggestion. 

Maybe a dumb question, I was in an N15 board and now this one but what’s a lovetit???? I follow and support everything else that has been said but I don’t understand what we are getting lovetits for? Sorry  

catem07

@JStill0603 it's just the "love it" heart you can click below a post, like a "like" on facebook. usually means "I agree" or "good point" or "thanks" but it can also be used for voting-type things

m6agua

@queenklau @shamrocandroll I was thinking "It's gonna be May" as well!

Name: I will set up a poll to vote on group names sometime over the weekend, that way we can maybe get a couple more suggestions. I've seen it where groups want something completely not related to "May 2020" since anyone can see the names of groups and I've seen it where the month/year is in the name as well. Even if the name of the group is open to the public, the group itself still is not.

Criteria/Leaders: I think the 4-5 Leaders is a good number, maybe we go with 3 or 5 so that way there is always a tie breaker. I like the idea that @jhysmath brought up about having the Leaders make the decisions in the first round of adds into the group, that way there are a few more than just me being able to recognize people. As for Leaders, I think it would be good to have someone who is a FTM and/or new to TB and hasn't done the PG, that way we have a mix since @shamrocandroll and I have been on a BMB, in a PG and generally in a few groups on TB. @sunshinesea22 I think learning as you go for being a Leader shouldn't be too difficult. That's what I did last time around with my BMB PG. The extra things you can do with threads falls more under keeping the board organized than anything else. Then the other responsibilities would be whatever the board deems (like making decisions on removing people if there are problems).

Overall it sounds like people are thinking 1-2 weeks for the initial add, and then 1 week for the vetting. Maybe this could be a possible schedule if we can get the group up by March 1

• initial add could be from March 1-11 (Sunday to a Wednesday, ~1.5 weeks)
• vetting could be from March 12-22 (Thursday to a Sunday, ~1.5 weeks)
• any removals would happen March 23 (Monday)

This would give a little time before April/May to do any more rounds of vetting in case people are not participating as well. It doesn't have to be set in stone, just sort of what I am thinking based on the discussion that has been happening.

jhysmath

I've never been a "moderator" Leader before, but if there are no other people volunteering I'd be happy to step up I. Like @shamrocandroll I participate more during the work day when I have a desktop than I do on the weekends though. I usually pull it up on my phone to check out the new info at night when I'm putting DD to bed as well. 

shamrocandroll

@m6agua I like the sounds of that timeline!  I think that *should* be more than enough time to get TBGs to open it up for us.  Let me know if you want some help getting the initial threads/announcements set up/stickied so you don't have to do it all yourself.  You guys can always boot me as a mod/leader later if the group doesn't vote me in as one.  I won't take it personally.

soprano19

@m6agua that timeline sounds fine. I would still have preferred a little earlier because I'd like to be on facebook before the babies are born, but it's not a hill I'm willing to die on.

heyybritt

That timeline sounds great to me! And if you're still willing to do it @sunshinesea22 I'll nominate you to represent the FTM contingent!

pirateduck

I just want to chime in and say I'm interested in a PG, but I don't really have strong feelings on the logistics of it, I just like that it's not open to the entire internet world to view every detail of our lives and like that it's going to be limited to active participants only.  I'm fine with whatever gets sorted in terms of timing, vetting, mods, etc.

drkoyya

@pirateduck I feel that same way. I'm good with whatever the group decides, I'll just keep my eyes peeled for the PG invite.

jrouge12

Here to chime in that no suggestion here seems bad! I'm along for the ride and am cool with what the group decides. Either my last BMB didn't do this or I had no idea what PG meant. I just don't remember this coming up. Or I was voted off the island before I knew what happened. 

ieles2531

Just adding my vote to @queenklau group name and also loving the fact that no one yet has questioned what that name means. 😂

drkoyya

@ieles2531 I think one of the criteria to be added to the PG should be name reference I love it

m6agua

So I looked back through the thread and we've only had 2 name suggestions so far. There were people who mentioned their previous BMB PG group names.
May 2020 Moms PG
It's gonna be May (2020)

This is the last call for any more name suggestions, I think I will post a poll tomorrow evening or Saturday morning.

pirateduck

May 2020 and Beyond!

That's my deep thought on names, because the goal is we continue to support each other beyond our due dates as our babies grow and develop right?

mamaj1220

Now the song is stuck in my head haha

emlettuce

For the name, I love a good pun and I'm trying to think of something with "Mayhem" but it's not coming together for me

soprano19

I'm definitely in support of It's Gonna Be May. Especially if we can somehow make a banner for the PG with Justin Timberlake on it.

pirateduck

@soprano19 I’m guessing then that this suggestion is somehow linked to Justin Timberlake  I had no idea!

queenklau

<img src= https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://media1.tenor.com/images/7a5a2273ddf2689f1e45188ce1322e93/tenor.gif?itemid%3D5394189&imgrefurl=https://tenor.com/view/may-nsync-justintimberlake-gonna-gif-5394189&docid=JOq4q-iiH1xqvM&tbnid=UZNOM4hdGyuN1M:&vet=1&w=498&h=328&hl=en-us&source=sh/x/im>

I hope this works 

queenklau

Awww failed...