All Trimester Check In February 10

cashewchicken

@cigaline Congratulations on your baby! I just want to give you a big hug. You are doing an awesome job, mama! I’m a STM and I can tell you, your experience is just like mine. But it will get better. Maybe not right away, but it will. Before the birth of my son, I thought the difficult part about breastfeeding would be whether or not I will be able to produce an adequate amount of milk (or any milk at all). Didn’t even consider that the baby may not know how to latch properly. Aren’t animals born with survival skills like latching properly or cry when they are hungry? Turns out, human babies aren’t necessarily born with them. My son couldn’t latch properly despite many sessions with LC. I tried to bf but it was just way too painful, especially with a nipple shield because he bit down the nipple hard with a shield on.  And lots and lots of crying in frustration. So we gave him expressed milk and formula during the first two weeks of his life. He was diagnosed with a tongue tie by a pediatrician and we had a procedure done when he was a two-week old. Even after the procedure, proper latching didn’t happen overnight, and took a lot of tries. By 3 months (I think? My memory around the time is a bit fuzzy) he was breastfeeding like a champ. All I can say is keep trying if you want to, or pump exclusively if that’s easier for you and your baby. As long as the baby is gaining weight properly, it doesn’t matter whether you bf, pump or feed formula. Fed is best. And please remember to take care of yourself, too!

cigaline

Ahhh thank you so much @angelina1919, @emmasemm, @persnickity and @cashewchicken for your kind words! They’re very much appreciated. Things are looking a little better today. It was the first full day DH and I have to ourselves with Hugo since getting home - long overdue! And on top of that I actually succeeded in getting Hugo to latch on a little using silicone nipple shields on both breasts this time. He managed both sides for about 5 minutes at a time, a few times over, which was amazing (until now he’s just got agitated and cross immediately). It seems pretty tiring for him and it’s hard to know how much he got, as he doesn’t seem to be terribly efficient yet. Seems to have wiped him out too, as he’s been asleep for a few hours! The only downside is my nipples are a little sore as he tends to pull at the nipple shield when he gets a bit impatient. Still, things are looking quite a lot more positive than they were :-)

persnickity

@cigaline Has Hugo been evaluated for a tongue or lip tie? Sometimes issues with latching or getting worn out nursing after a short session can be due to a tongue tie. Not saying that's always the case.

[Deleted User]

@cigaline. (((hugs))) I remember a lot of what you described all too well.  I second the hand free pumping bra - you can actually make one easily - for nothing - with a small slit cut into an ordinary sports bra.  Pumping is still definitely awkward and a PITA, but it sounds like you are doing a great job, just trying to keep up, mama. ❤️ So glad everyone is safe and sound. Congratulations!  Here's hoping you are able to find a better routine in the days and weeks to come.

wabash15

@cigaline i'm a lurker here but I tell all new moms all you have to do is feed you and the baby and change diapers in those early days... anything beyond that is a huge bonus. I have been there with babies not latching, having to pump and practice nursing and then repeating the cycle all over again when it felt like I had barely finished. It is crazy what a learning curve there is for both mom and baby when it comes to BF. Hopefully he will get better at it. if not you are NOT a failure. Weather you nurse, EP or formula feed, you will figure out what is best for you and your baby. no choice is wrong. you are doing great, even if you don't feel like it.  

PoeMasque

@cigaline I could have written your post myself with DS1! The only difference being that I had amazing support in and out of the hospital and breastfeeding was STILL the hardest thing I’ve ever done! Due to how painful it was for me I had to pump and bottle feed about every 3 days to let my nipples heal. I’m not sure if you have access to a pump like the Elvie or Willow, but they are life changing. I remember asking friends how long it took to “figure out” breastfeeding and they all said “I don’t know, it just happened one day” (which felt so not helpful!). They were right though, eventually - as in 3 months later - it clicked, was easy, and we were both happy. DS1 was also a very fussy baby. He rarely slept more than an hour at night and spit up constantly for about 9 months. I was lucky to have a parenting group to connect with, being able to talk to other women with the same issues was so incredibly helpful. It does get better, but it also gets harder in other ways. Becoming a mother is a life transformation (it’s actually called matresence!), so it’s a long and complex process. Hang in there, know you’re not alone, and (although it rarely feels like it) don’t forget to be proud of how hard you are rocking motherhood!