Financing Baby... — The Bump
May 2020 Moms

Financing Baby...

Babies are expensive! From gear to formula to daycare to doctor's appointments and hospital bills. Share your financial successes and challenges here. 
DD #1 April 2017
expecting mid-late May 2020

heyybritt
«1

Re: Financing Baby...

  • Challenge: motivating myself to sit down and actually take a fine tooth comb through our budget to find the money for daycare...it has to be there somewhere because we DEFINITELY don’t have the budget for a 1 income household.
    m6aguadrkoyya
  • I won't be going back to work full time when she comes, I'll switch to per diem so our income is drastically changing. But I get to keep my FT status and wages until my maternity leave is over so we're paying off EVERYTHING in the meantime so when that FT pay is over, we'll have very little in monthly payments to worry about.


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  • @catem07 great topic! thanks for starting this.

    We've been focusing on paying down our debt more aggressively since finding out I was pregnant. We don't have a house yet and our goal is save enough to get one in a few years, but we know our consumer debt is a hurdle so trying to take care of it before baby comes since he'll come with a lot of extra expenses. We're doing a combination of payoffs and consolidations to achieve that.

    As long as I stay at my current job I'll get 60% pay while on maternity leave, we still need to talk about adjusting our budget for the reduction. We also still need to figure out where we're going to find the funds for daycare. We've cut back a lot on extra spending, eating out, etc but I'm not sure what else we can cut out 😬
    Me: 31 ~ DH: 34 
    FTM
    BFP: 9/5/19 ~ EDD 5/15/20
    jrouge12
  • A lot hinges on whether my older daughter gets a spot in public pre-k. It's a lottery here and she'd start in fall 2021 if she got a spot. That will cut her childcare costs in half. 

    We will be able to cover the first 10 months of baby's daycare using our childcare FSA from 2020 and 2021 (we're not currently pulling funds out of it to pay for DD1's daycare but instead making it a forced savings vehicle and taking the money out at the end of the year). That'll bring us to September 2021. Hopefully we can save up some more money between now and then to cover the following year, bringing us to September 2022 and DD1 starting kindergarten.

    If DD1 doesn't get into public pre-k and DH doesn't get a job that pays more we'll have to pull a lot from savings to pay for two kids in daycare. C'est la vie, I suppose. 
    DD #1 April 2017
    expecting mid-late May 2020

    jrouge12
  • @m6agua I can't agree more with the "figure it out". You just can't predict what may happen. 

    I'm definitely in a luckier boat as far as insurance. Teachers unions are strong in my state and my insurance is good. With DD I had $0 in any prenatal care or delivery costs. It'll be the same with this baby. As far as my leave I'm lucky again since I should be starting it right towards the end of the school year. I have to use my banked sick days to get paid, I'll end up using all my banked days, but fortunately the year resets in September so I'll have days to work with next school year. With DD I had to take 6 weeks paid and 6 weeks unpaid and still go back during the year and work with 0 sick days to fall back on.

    DH has been the at home parent since DD was born due to issues finding full time employment in his field. It's meant getting by with less money then if he was working. He's actively looking though, so it's up in the air if day care could be a factor. Our biggest debt is our student loans and car payments. Those aren't going away anytime soon. Someday I'd like to buy a house...
    heyybrittm6aguadrkoyya
  • I could say a lot here, but I'll start by saying I remind myself that my husband and I both used to make much less money and we found ways to get by, so I think we can get through this.  

    We have also worked very hard at living debt free over the years and currently our only debt is our mortgage.  We made sure to buy at a price we could realistically afford, even on one income (which will be tight, but is possible), and our loan is a fixed rate so we know the expense going forward and can plan for that.  Admittedly, if we didn't have our home we'd be having serious financial issues because we cannot afford the current rental rates in our area as they've skyrocketed in recent years.
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


    pourmeanothermocktailtj_2
  • We have had a ton of success using YNAB.  It does have a small annual fee, but it's worth it to us because we actually use it and understand how it works.  I am nervous about child care costs for two plus mortgage and unexpected house expenses, though.  DH also gets no paid leave, so we need to save up for that - we did it last time, but had fewer expenses then. 

    I'm trying to remember that we should wait until we have a real need to buy stuff.  We don't need a crib for this little one yet - we have a bassinet and then we can see if we can pick one up for free or used someplace.  We don't need a double stroller - yet - although I am itching to buy one.  We can wait on buying furniture for our house for now, too! (If I can hold myself back....!)
  • @adventuresawait2 I LOVE YNAB. I still use the old desktop version though. Agree about waiting on buying things or not necessarily buying new. 

    DD #1 April 2017
    expecting mid-late May 2020

    adventuresawait2
  • @adventuresawait2 hold back and be smart about it, hit garage sales in spring, craiglist, local buy/sell/trade groups.  I furnished my 3 bedroom house for approximately $450, and I only spent that because I was picky about a couch and paranoid about bedbugs.  I look at the baby/kids section of CL almost daily now and plan to jump on a stroller the next time one pops up in my area.
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


    adventuresawait2
  • @adventuresawait2 @catem07 did you find it took you a bit to get used to YNAB? I tried to use it a few years ago but couldn't figure out how to make it work best for me, got frustrated, and stopped.
    Me: 31 ~ DH: 34 
    FTM
    BFP: 9/5/19 ~ EDD 5/15/20
  • @pirateduck that's awesome!  Those are all good tips.  I know I just need to be patient and be on the lookout for stuff.  We have so much work to do organizing our basement and then we can better understand what we truly need, anyway.  It's just so much easier to surf the internet than actually DO stuff haha.
  • I don't know what this YNAB is, now I must look, I genuinely like this sort of thing.
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


  • Also I am obsessed with digital coupons for my grocery store.  You can load them ahead of time or through an app while you shop.  Then at checkout they are automatically applied when you use your frequent shopper card/number/whatever system your store uses (I just punch in my phone number at checkout).  My husband uses the same number too so if he buys something I have a coupon for it's automatically applied.  We also earn fuel points up to about $0.40 off a gallon, which adds up.
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


    heyybrittjrouge12
  • heyybritt It's really hard when you get started, at least it was for me, because it treated what I carried on my CC as debt when I really put everything on there and pay it off monthly. 
    DD #1 April 2017
    expecting mid-late May 2020

    heyybritt
  • Ugh also I just ran most of our tax info and we're not getting much back at all. I don't think we'll owe anything, at least...
    DD #1 April 2017
    expecting mid-late May 2020

  • @catem07 I used to always get a tax refund, and then I got married and we now owe every year.  It's annoying.  At least I'm fairly confident when we do 2020 taxes with the birth of the baby and my changed income that we should probably get something back, or at least break even.
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


  • Such a good topic. A topic that stresses me out lol. I have a long-winded backstory (spoiler), but basically DH & I are on an extremely tight budget. That doesn't even account saving for baby. We're very fortunate that we were able to purchase a home in August through my University (steady mortgage is huge with the insane cost of rent in So Cal). My insurance through my employer is great and everything is covered 100% unless there is a major complication. My work schedule is flexible and allows me to work from home 2-3 days a week to care for baby. The days I'm in the office or teaching, family will be able to watch baby so daycare isn't necessary until baby #2 (whenever that happens). I will have some time of lost wages because I won't get paid leave. Luckily it will only equate to 1 week without pay since I'm due right before the semester ends. Again, we're very fortunate. Otherwise, there's no way we could afford a newborn but we still need a long-term plan. Right now, we're focusing on doubling down on the car payments. Once the cars are paid off we can save a considerable amount of money. 

    Backstory. After earning my PhD in 2016, I worked for a private company and was making really good money. In context, I was making 3x as much as (now) DH. Unfortunately, the company wasn't doing well financially and went through several round of lay-offs. I was eventually laid off in March 2018. At the time, we were in the middle of planning our wedding and still owed money.  So I was forced to pay part of the wedding on credit. I was unemployed for a couple months but was eventually able to get a temporary teaching position. The job paid considerably less (2/3rds of what I was making). Thanks to my student loan debt and my car payment (got a new car as a graduation gift to myself), my new salary still didn't cover all of the bills. I was borrowing money from my mom but when she lost her tenant she could no longer help. So back to credit cards. That job ended in June 2019 and thankfully I was hired in a tenure-track position at a new University with better pay and benefits. I finally feel back on my feet financially, but I'm still recovering from the year+ of financial hardship. DH & I stopped using credit cards and are now working on debt consolidation.


    Me: 28  DH: 29
    FTM
    BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
    heyybritt
  • I'm in the "we'll figure it out" camp. Baby is due about a month before the end of the school year, and I'm lucky that my school district has an "enhanced family leave policy," where we basically get one freebie week of leave for every full year we've worked in the district. This is my 5th year, but the downside is I won't have completed it by the time the baby is born, so I only get 4 weeks, but that's still better than going straight to using sick days. The biggest challenge by far will be figuring out how to afford a second kid in daycare, since she will start at the end of July/beginning of August when I go back for band camp.
    drkoyya
  • @heyybritt we had one “false start” with YNAB when we first started where we just weren’t getting it and were making it too complicated. I took a few of their free webinars to better understand it all and did a “fresh start” budget - began it again totally new and committed to a weekly budget “date,” approving and categorizing transactions on the app regularly, and following the rules like not spending dollars you don’t have. One other thing that made a difference for me was to calculate more or less how much income we had coming in every month and realize that our spending had to stay below that, so figure out the difference between our fixed expenses and the income - that’s essentially discretionary to spend or save. 

     @catem07 If you have dollars to be budgeted allocated for that category that are then chanrged to your card, it should show that you are ok for it. https://www.youneedabudget.com/how-to-do-credit-cards-in-ynab/  But it may be that in the first month there is a transition over and it counts everything on the card initially as debt? I can’t quite recall. 
    heyybritt
  • @Soprano19 I'm due on our last day of school so I'm really hoping that I make it through or at least super close. 

    We are in the "we'll figure it out" camp too mostly because I'm afraid to even look at how much daycare will cost for 2. Honestly it will be probably be more than I make..which is frustrating because living on just my husbands income will be super tight and he works per diem so he doesn't have insurance benefits. Daycare cost here are just insane..
  • When my work either stops or goes part time we will lose insurance, however for the first time we will qualify for a subsidy if we purchase it through the marketplace so I’m hoping it won’t be too bad. Also through my class we met with one of the financial assistance advocates and she said that while on maternity leave (even if you go back to work later) you can apply for and be qualified for WIC based on the reduced income during that period and if you qualify, it is good for a year, even if you go back to work full time and your income goes up again.
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


    heyybrittdrkoyya
  • @adventuresawait2 the old system (which I'm still on) treated CC balances differently than the new, but now that I'm a few years in I've gotten it sorted out somehow
    DD #1 April 2017
    expecting mid-late May 2020

    adventuresawait2
  • I'm in the camp of people who tried YNAB and just found it super confusing. There was a budgeting app for couples that MH and I tried for a while called HoneyFi but the categories weren't granular enough and everything was miscategorized and then it either went pay or went out of business, I can't remember which.

    My personal favorite is mint.com -- it's easy for me to see where I am with various budgets and how I'm spending month to month.

    Having twins in daycare is just going to suck financially. I feel a little better now that I have some tours lined up and have actually started running the numbers. At least it's more of a known quantity.
  • My job skills don't pay well enough-full time daycare for even 2 would be more than my full time gross salary. Much less 3. I'm also disabled during pregnancy and for 4-9 months after. Hoping to pick tp some part time (unfortunately evening likely) hours bartending once I'm able to work on my feet again, while my husband continues his two year search for a new job that pays at least AT his career median salary rather than below. 

    We luckily paid off all other debt, but when we learned that our initial car plan (Chevy Cruze) didn't fit two kids at a close gap, we added a car payment to mortgage debt. But, our mortgage is less than rent would be for half of the space, and it's an excellent rate. We are borderline poverty level, so Medicaid covers myself and kids, which makes the birth not too bad for money reasons. Our tax return will cover our small part of birth payment, a large chunk towards car, and a chunk towards moving some walls in our basement to change up our bedroom uses. Right now we're stuck with two kids sharing a room, and newborn will be in our room for a year, but we have 4 bedrooms. But our office doesn't fit in smallest room, and smallest room is in basement where I don't want babies. Either way, I think for $3000 we can make ourselves a master suite plus office in basement, and have 3 main floor rooms, so kids can choose for same sex to share and get a play room, or each gets own room with more toys in bedrooms. Works either way. 

    But financially we're crossing fingers as we can't afford debt-more monthly payments will just cause a monthly deficit. 
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @pourmeanothermocktail you will find a way to make it work.  The past 2-3 years of our lives were the first we weren’t living straight up paycheck to paycheck, but we know how to do that and will go back to just scraping by with baby.  You mentioned your mortgage being cheaper than rent, and I believe that finding an economical living/housing situation is the key to getting ahead financially.  Housing is generally the biggest monthly expense for any family, so the better off you can do with that, the better off you will be overall.  We moved 4 years ago with a goal of buying a house where we could raise a family (good space, neighborhood, and price being important factors).  For the same price as our 500 square foot condo, by relocating to the next county over, we got a 1600 square foot house with a yard.  Our monthly expenses are generally about the same, if not less, because we don’t have HOA fees.

    I also want to mention that you don’t need a huge down payment to buy a home.  I strongly urge anyone currently renting to speak with a lender.  The first place I bought I had roughly $1000 to put down, that’s it, the market changed and when we moved my husband and I came up with about $6000 for a down payment.  In both cases owning proved to be substantially cheaper than rental rates in the same neighborhoods.  Home ownership doesn’t have to feel like it’s out of reach.
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


    lisushsunshinesea22soprano19rachelg777
  • @pirateduck We've been paycheck to paycheck since my son (our million dollar baby) was born. We don't eat out, we certainly don't do Starbucks, our meat is all on super sale, we don't get to do organic, super foods, or anything trendy like that. We don't get to go out for fun stuff-makes winter very hard as free stuff outside out the house but out of the weather is REALLY hard to find. We don't get date nights more than maybe 3 times per year, when family offers to watch them, and because my husband doesn't get vacation time. We haven't had a family vacation ever. It's...hard. It means even though I'm basically disabled right now, we can hire any help for me for childcare, housework, cooking, shopping, so we're muddling through and I'm hurting myself on a daily basis just by having to do too much. But there's very little other choice. Getting my car paid off is a priority, because then our monthly bills go down!
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @pourmeanothermocktail No car payment will be a huge celebration day for you.  You will get there.  I keep putting money into fixing mine because, it's paid off, and regular repairs, while annoying and stressful, are cheaper than adding a car payment.  I used to have a car payment, I don't want to go back to that anytime soon, but my vehicle and my husband's are both getting up there in miles and the nature of our regular commutes etc. is hard on cars.  We'll see how long we can limp along.  We've got one at 125,000 and the other around 175,000 I think, sooooo yeah, we'll see.  Try not to strain yourself too much in your day to day, break your tasks into smaller ones if you can.  
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


    pourmeanothermocktail
  • @pirateduck this is only my second car payment I've ever had, but my sixth car. First one I had paid off for 6 years, and we do a lot of repairs ourselves. We would still have been OK, if only the Cruze we bought to hold kids was big enough to hold rear facing convertible seats!! We bought that outright, and I would still be driving it if kids fit. And my husband would have my paid off from before kids car. But, we found out after our first was born that Cruze wasn't big enough. But didn't have time to save up for a while to buy a bigger car outright, so here we are. Sad. But, cars are only at 53,000 and 86,000. So that's nice. Probably be at least another year or two before my car is paid off, but we'll see. It will be nice to be payment free again. And hopefully it'll last long enough to buy the next one outright. 

    Physically though, there's no taking it elsewhere or breaking tasks down further. The act of standing or walking is painful, and doing it while carrying a kid, significantly worse. And it gets worse with every week and every pound I gain. Literally the case minimum of warming up leftovers and making sure kids are clean, dressed, fed, napped, diapered, and not beating each other up puts me into painful tears and occasional yelps. It's...not good. Getting my 3.5 year old to school necessitates a 20 min rest after, but my younger one screams about that. Shaking from pain or effort is required just to maintain minimum standards. I don't think I can do less. It's heartbreaking really, and pelvis-breaking. But...there's no other real option. This will be my last pregnancy as pregnancy is bad for my body and breaks me. This is the worst by far, I wasn't this disabled until about 32 weeks last time. But my 35 lbs 3.5 year old can't carry around my 22 lbs 17 month old, or change her diaper for me, and sometimes is a jerk and has to be carried himself....

    If we were comfortable, I would hire a helper for a couple hours during the day. And have them handle getting kid to and from bus stop, and making lunch, and changing a few diapers plus doing a load of laundry for me. But, I can't exact just put all that on the credit card and end up $5000 in debt with no way to make that payment monthly without putting something else on the card. 

    I dream of one day having surgery and having my pelvis wired back together. So that one day I can parent how I want to again. And be the athletic mom, not the broken one, again.
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I'm in the we'll have to figure out out camp. MH handles our "budget" and was starting to crunch the numbers for next year and realized we will be doubling our daycare amount, not sure how that didn't click until now, and he's been in a pissy mood since then. He was telling bil about having to pay that next year and BIL states well you'll be back in ny in 2 years and mom can watch the kids (his mom lives 45 minutes away from our house and I don't think I could stand seeing her every day even if it was "free" which it wouldn't be because she'd complain about having to pay for gas and the fact that she's not working, and that she doesn't like to travel in bad weather or when it's dark so some how I feel she'd end up living with us and our marriage will not survive that) when we talked about the local school that we would be in district for being graded low online but the other school in the opposite direction being graded really well, BIL also said MIL can pick up the kids and bring them to their school that they went to, which is 45 minutes away, thankfully MH said no or kids are not traveling there and we'd probably try to put them into a school we work at before that.

    Being on a tight budget works in my benefit though because MH would rather use disposable  diapers, but I like cloth and we have cloth from dd so it will force the issue. I also did everything I could to bf and mh stated in the beginning its OK to go to formula and wanted to stop trying to figure things out and also decided that our kid would sttn if she was on formula like our friends kid, then I reminded him of the cost of formula (they get theirs free through wic) and he changed his attitude. 
    Me: 32 |  DH: 44
    Started Dating: November 2007
    Married: July 2017
    DD May 2018, #2 hopefully May 2020


  • We are in the figure it out as we go, but are in a good place right now and I do what I can to save where I can. I became a SAHM after our 3rd was born because my teacher's salary couldn't pay for daycare.

    Our mortgage is our only debt, we have internet for streaming, but no cable, I weekly meal plan and shop cheap and stick to it. We don't eat out or shop for new clothes. Grandparents buy a few outfits for birthdays and hand-me-downs have worked for us. I shop kids consignment and find great basically brand new items for cheap. We have cloth diapered since our first so that saves a ton now.

    The biggest thing I've learned after having 3 kids is that you don't need all the stuff advertised for babies and they certainly don't need to be brand new. If they can be washed, buy second hand or borrow if you can. The fancy cute clothes are just that and not practical for everyday wear. They grow out of sizes so quickly in their first year that you don't need a ton of clothes in each size. Basic onesies, sleepers and pants is all you need. Minimize your gear because most of it is used for such a short amount of time(first couple months) that it just isn't necessary.

    All carseats have to meet the same safety regulations, so spending $300+ for an infant seat is absurd. I will say, if you are going to splurge, do it on the stroller because you will use that for years!!
    m6aguapourmeanothermocktail
  • We bought a house in August and have been surprised by the cost of utilities (we didn't have to pay electric, sewer, or water when we rented). Also doesn't help that our new city did a reassessment just as we bought the house, so our property taxes went up about $1200/year literally two weeks after closing. 
    DD #1 April 2017
    expecting mid-late May 2020

  • m6aguam6agua member
    edited January 2020
    @ruby696 Agreed! We also paid more for one that was more comfortable for DD. We have the Graco4Ever (~$300) in our cars and we have a Cosco Scenera Next (~$50) for my mom which doesn't get used much. DD is 3 now and has vocalized that the Cosco Scenera Next is not very comfortable.

    ETA: We also planned for extended rear facing so we paid more for one with higher limits.
    _______________________________________________
    TTC#1 July 2015 
    • BFP: 9/16/15 — MC: 11/8/15 Blighted Ovum
    • BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
    TTC#2 April 2019 
    • BFP: 9/12/19 — EDD 5/15/20

    ruby696pourmeanothermocktailrandic22
  • My intention was not to make anyone feel bad about spending more money on a carseat, but this is a thread about finances so thought it was useful to mention about infant seats that are used for such a short period.

    Sorry if I offended anyone that was not my intent.

    chewie5990
  • Not offended at all @afranzen85. I just wanted to point it out since we have a lot of FTM's who may not be clear on carseat safety standards yet.
    afranzen85pourmeanothermocktailshamrocandrollsoprano19
  • Side note, I'm glad to hear that so many people have the graco 4ever. My parents just bought 2, one for them and one for us. I had been hearing mixed reviews.
    pourmeanothermocktaillisush
  • @shamrocandroll Do you mind sharing about how much that cost? I need to do that. I spend money way on things that are totally unnecessary and much more should be going into savings.
    shamrocandrollm6agualisush
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