@literatureandink 40hrs for my 1st before they went and got her. Went into labor 2days after her due date. Second babe and this one will be planned c sections. Made it to our plan date no problem last time, this kid I'm not so sure.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@literatureandink I was due on 1/13, went into labor (and had DD1) on 1/7. I was in labor for a long time before I knew it was the real deal. I was uncomfortable for days, then started to have contractions in the middle of the night that kept me up but we're terrible. By around 8 am the next morning I was timing them and packing up to go, called DH so he could come home from work. I had her at 9:30 that night. But my epi was working so well they kept telling me I would feel the need to push or have pressure and I never did, so I'm not sure if she could have been delivered sooner if I felt more. With DD2 it was waaaaaay faster. I was due 10/5, went into labor on 9/30. I woke up that morning feeling off, like I was coming down with a cold. Had my bloody show while I was giving DD1 a bath around 7:30pm. By 9:30pm contractions started, at 11pm we were packing up to get DD1 to IL's and head to the hospital. Got to hospital at 1am, started to push at 3am, had DD2 at 3:23am.
Follow up question for experienced mommas - is bloody show/losing the plug something that happens to all women? Does it ever happen without noticing it or not happen at all?
@literatureandink DS was born 4 days before his due date. I didn’t really go into labor in the traditional sense. I had regular contractions for days, but I could talk and walk through them. I went in when they started getting a bit more intense to check because I’d thought I had leaking that week and I just didn’t feel right about staying home. They almost sent me away again, but my fluid level was low. I got to the hospital just before midnight on a Saturday night. We started Pitocin Sunday morning. DS was born at 7:30 on Monday morning. It was 36 hours of active labor (and no food allowed).
@literatureandink Not everyone gets it, and also it doesn’t signal imminent labour... you can lose your mucous plug several days (or more) before you go into labour, and it can also come out in pieces over several days
@literatureandink I was loosing my mucus plug in chunks for at least a week before both kids. I don't remember having a bloody show w/DD1 so I may have gotten to the hospital before it happened or it may have not happened at all. My doctor hasn't said yet if she thinks I'll go early this time. W/DD2 there were a couple of weeks where she kept saying I was going to go early and making comments about how she would probably see me in the hospital in a couple of days, etc. which just gave me anxiety lol.
@literatureandink With DD I lost my mucus plug (did not get bloody show) at 36W and started having irregular contractions an hour later. They lasted through the night and were regular by the next morning. We went to the hospital at 11am and I was 3cm and 100% effaced. They told me to come back in a few hours to see if I was still dilating. Went back at 8pm was 5cm and leaking amniotic fluid. I was admitted and was at 9cm by 4am. She was stuck and they started pitocin to get me to progress, in hindsight I should have had a CS at that point. They finally took me in for an emergency CS at 3:00pm. It was 52 hours from when I lost my plug and 36 hours of actual "real" labor. I am special though, I have a bicornuate uterus (pretty much means baby is in 1/2 a uterus) which means I am very high risk for preterm labor. At 36w my uterus was measuring 41w. My first sign of imminent labor was not feeling well the few days prior and my dog acting really strange (wouldn't leave my side).
I need to vent a little and it comes with this question: how do you respond to unsolicited advice in a way that stops it?
A mama friend of mine has a very bad habit of letting a small thing I share with her about baby prep into an opening of the flood gates of unsolicited advice. I don't mind getting baby advice, and as a FTM some of it I know is super helpful, but what I do mind is when I get an onslaught of it. Today I sent her a picture to show that we got our new nursing chair (yay!) and then she asked what we still needed to get. I wish I had been vague, but I wasn't. She then proceeded to send me 23 messages within a very short time period saying what I should/shouldn't get, why I shouldn't get some of the things I want to get because they didn't work for her with her baby, when I should/shouldn't get said things. This isn't the first time this has happened, but it's probably the most intense case of it happening and it made me so anxious that I was brought to tears. It's too many things to think about at once when I just wanted to be excited about our chair.
How do you deal with it? We're not quite close enough that I know how to phrase asking her to stop without it hurting her, but I also think that if I just say thank you and try to ignore it it will persist, and it is stressing me out big time. She's not the only one who does it by any means either. I know it all comes from a place of love and sharing personal experience and reviews, but it is intimidating, feels at times patronizing, and it's making me second guess my choices that I have researched really thoroughly. I also know that every birth, baby and mama will make for a different experience and different preferences, so I don't just want to go y what one other mama thinks. Okay rant over.
@korthouse I don’t have good advice on this. I find that I mostly get the unwanted advice from older moms (my parents’ generation) or moms with parenting styles that are just very different than mine. With the older moms, I point out that things have changed and we are following the recommendations of our doctors. With the others, it’s hard. It’s not that they are wrong. We just have different lives and different priorities for our kids. I always just focus on being nice as I continue to do what I’m going to do anyway. I hate that it stresses you out, though. That’s no good. I think I’ve just gotten used to it, so I can ignore if easier than I used to.
@korthouse I am sorry that this is making you upset, that isn't cool. Unfortunately, you are going to get a ton of unsolicited advice. But it definitely sounds like this person is overdoing it for sure, even if she means well. I usually respond with something like "thanks for your advice, I appreciate the insight. I am doing my own research and we'll figure out what works best for us". You could also just try to kindly change the subject, tell her "we seem to be getting an overwhelming amount of advice these days so I wouldn't mind taking a break from talking about baby gear.....how is your day going?"
I have a friend who thinks her parenting style and baby items are the only "right choice". I just listened to her feedback and took from it what I found helpful. Like I didn't buy the $1500 stroller she claimed was the only stroller worth getting, but I did look for strollers that could convert to a double because her point of only buying one stroller to use for multiple kids made sense. It's easy to feel like you're being told what to do, but if you're confident in your research and know what you want, just take the bits and pieces of advice that fit!
@literatureandink I was 11 days past my due date with DS. My midwives were very understanding and were willing to wait till 14 days past as long as things looked good. I had appointments every few days to check on him.
At the last appt she stripped my membranes and I started to feel contractions on the way home. Went home to grab stuff and headed to the hospital, he was born about 8 hours later.
@literatureandink with DD1, I had my membranes swept at 39 weeks to encourage progression, and had a part of my mucus plug come out about a day later. My water broke 5 days early, but I never went into labor, so I was induced. From the time of my water breaking to delivery, I was at 21 hours. I made it to 19 without requesting and epi, but got one a little after 20 hours. I went from 4 cm and 40% effaced to 10 cm and 100% in 25 minutes after that, pushed for 19 minutes, and she was born. DD2, I was induced at 41 weeks (she was getting to big and I begged my doctor 😂). Pretty normal induction...from starting the process to delivery, it was about 7 hours total.
@literatureandink it’s a process your doctor may offer to do when you’re around 38-39 weeks (mine only does it if you’re not progressing). Basically, they run a finger around the edge of your cervix, which will sometimes loosen the membranes and encourage hormone production to help with dilation and effacement. It doesn’t always work, and it’s pretty uncomfortable, but since I was at 39 weeks, 1 cm and 0% effaced, it was worth it 😂
I didn't know they did membrane sweep that early. That first cervical check during labor was super painful and I was not expecting it. Is it a similar feeling or just awkward?
@literatureandink I’ve seen both as well. I’m going to go with 27, because I already feel like I’m in third tri mode, I’d rather be able to say I’m actually there on Saturday instead of a week from Saturday.
To expand on the question @literatureandink posed - if you were working, did you work until your due date or until you went into labor? I’m tentatively planning to work until my due date unless baby is early, but I also don’t want to spend more than a week at home without a baby if he’s late...
@jenabary I planned to work until my due date or birth last time. A week before my due date, my OB told me not to go back to work and gave me an excuse. My feet were swelling pretty bad and I was really stressed due to the fact that I was basically doing 2 jobs at the time. DS ended up coming that Monday anyway, so I didn’t have any time off at home without him, but that was just luck.
I worked until labor with both LOs. With DD1 I was at a different company and they let me work from home starting two weeks before my due date. With DD2 they wouldn't let me work at home full time, but luckily I didn't go into labor at work.
I'm also wondering about what @jenabary asked. My commute is between 2-3 hours each way depending on traffic and I'm very paranoid about going into labor at work.
*Trigger Warning/Loss* When I had my loss at 13 weeks, I started having contractions while driving and I ended up miscarrying in the car and had to drive myself to a hospital next to work and didn't have any of my doctors or my husband near me. It was super traumatizing. *End Trigger Warning*
I currently WFH two days per week but am thinking about doing it full time closer to my due date I just can't figure out WHEN would be the best time. I don't want to seem like I'm taking advantage but I also can't imagine being 38 weeks pregnant commuting 3 hours each way...
@literatureandink If you have the option to work from home, that might be a good idea. My friend had a baby in September and she stopped going into the office 2 weeks before her due date to avoid a difficult commute. Worked out okay for her except that baby was 10 days overdue, so she was home longer than she intended. Unfortunately, there are really no guarantees on when baby will come. Makes it a bit harder to prepare.
I found out my OB doesn't do a one hour glucose test, but instead it's a two hour. Aaaaand I have to be fasting from midnight. Luckily my appointment is early, but I NEVER EVER EVER drink sugar and certainly don't ever eat that much sugar at one time, I'm so afraid I'm going to be sick. Curious how many of your glucose tests were fasting?? I also want to know their rationale behind skipping the one hour tolerance test altogether.
@phinzlabyrinth No misunderstanding, my commute is anywhere between 4-6 hours per day. Since I work from home two days per week my weekly total is between 12-18 hours of driving. LOTS of podcasts.
@literatureandink@jenabary I'm a FTM too, but I've told the bridal shop I work at that unless my midwives ask me to stop sooner I'll work until 36 weeks. It's very physical, and keeps me on my feet lots which is great for exercise, but I know that as baby gets heavier and I get bigger it will be more and more difficult to do. I already need to ask for help sometimes with the heavier ballgowns and getting veils from higher hooks, so I can only imagine that another 12 weeks from now it will get real difficult!
I technically could still do my voice work, but I don't want to audition past 36 weeks because depending on the recording dates I could potentially miss the gig. We're considered full term at 37 weeks too, so I figure 36 weeks is just one week ahead of the "any day now" period. If I worked in an office setting I might stay longer, but I'm really looking forward to those last few weeks of just nesting, focusing on self-care and getting ready for baby.
@phinzlabyrinth A woman in my last BMB said her OB only does the 2 hour test because so many fail the 1 hour. I guess they get better results that way and they can avoid having to do 2 tests that way.
@phinzlabyrinth I know it’s common in other countries to just do a 2 hour. I don’t know how common it is in the US. Honestly, given the number of glucose tests I’ve taken, I’d probably prefer that. The fasting sucks. Bring a snack with you and break it out the second they finish the last blood draw.
@korthouse oh man, I’m so sorry. That makes me anxious just reading about it.
You may have to be blunt or short since she continually gives unsolicited advice. I would probably respond: wow, that’s a lot of overwhelming advice! Every baby is different so I guess we will see what works and what doesn’t.
Hope it stops, I’m one of the first of my friends to have kids so I just get advice from my mom and MIL, which is annoying as well but I can be more blunt with them without feeling bad.
Diagnosed PCOS 2013
7th Round of Fertility treatment (Femara + Ovidrel + IUI) 12/14 = BFP. DS born Sept.15 Natural BFP Feb 2017. DD born Oct. 2017 Natural BFP Aug. 2019, EDD April 2020
Has anyone had Braxton Hicks contractions? What do they feel like? I keep having moments where areas of my belly get hard and tight, then it softens up again. I can’t tell if it’s Braxton Hicks or just my baby pushing up against my stomach.
I don't know if this has been mentioned anywhere, but is there any restriction on travel(driving or flying) postpartum? Like I'm not planning on flying anywhere right after, but I could have a potential trip around 6 weeks postpartum.
@Kathryn0903 My close friends are getting married in France just 3 weeks after we're due so I looked thoroughly into all of this before deciding that we're going to have to stay home. The airline won't have any restrictions, but if you've had a C-section your doctor may not want you to fly until about 6 weeks postpartum, longer if there have been any complications. That would be the same for any major surgery. Also the big one if it's a C, no heavy lifting because you can rupture your incision (this happened to my boss when she had her daughter), so if there are suitcases, etc let your travel partner handle it, same goes for your toddler (I think you'd mentioned you have another kiddo?). Vaginal delivery is more like a couple of weeks unless there has been significant tearing, in which case same thing for risk of rupturing sutures. If you're flying internationally the hardest hoop to jump is that you need to have your baby's birth certificate and passport already, and at least here the birth certificate alone can take anywhere from 4 to 16 weeks, which is the biggest reason we'll be missing out on the wedding, even if I'm all healed up.
Re: Weekly Questions 1/5
Second babe and this one will be planned c sections. Made it to our plan date no problem last time, this kid I'm not so sure.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
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Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
edit- typo
A mama friend of mine has a very bad habit of letting a small thing I share with her about baby prep into an opening of the flood gates of unsolicited advice. I don't mind getting baby advice, and as a FTM some of it I know is super helpful, but what I do mind is when I get an onslaught of it. Today I sent her a picture to show that we got our new nursing chair (yay!) and then she asked what we still needed to get. I wish I had been vague, but I wasn't. She then proceeded to send me 23 messages within a very short time period saying what I should/shouldn't get, why I shouldn't get some of the things I want to get because they didn't work for her with her baby, when I should/shouldn't get said things. This isn't the first time this has happened, but it's probably the most intense case of it happening and it made me so anxious that I was brought to tears. It's too many things to think about at once when I just wanted to be excited about our chair.
How do you deal with it? We're not quite close enough that I know how to phrase asking her to stop without it hurting her, but I also think that if I just say thank you and try to ignore it it will persist, and it is stressing me out big time. She's not the only one who does it by any means either. I know it all comes from a place of love and sharing personal experience and reviews, but it is intimidating, feels at times patronizing, and it's making me second guess my choices that I have researched really thoroughly. I also know that every birth, baby and mama will make for a different experience and different preferences, so I don't just want to go y what one other mama thinks. Okay rant over.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
I have a friend who thinks her parenting style and baby items are the only "right choice". I just listened to her feedback and took from it what I found helpful. Like I didn't buy the $1500 stroller she claimed was the only stroller worth getting, but I did look for strollers that could convert to a double because her point of only buying one stroller to use for multiple kids made sense. It's easy to feel like you're being told what to do, but if you're confident in your research and know what you want, just take the bits and pieces of advice that fit!
At the last appt she stripped my membranes and I started to feel contractions on the way home. Went home to grab stuff and headed to the hospital, he was born about 8 hours later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
*Trigger Warning/Loss*
When I had my loss at 13 weeks, I started having contractions while driving and I ended up miscarrying in the car and had to drive myself to a hospital next to work and didn't have any of my doctors or my husband near me. It was super traumatizing. *End Trigger Warning*
I currently WFH two days per week but am thinking about doing it full time closer to my due date I just can't figure out WHEN would be the best time. I don't want to seem like I'm taking advantage but I also can't imagine being 38 weeks pregnant commuting 3 hours each way...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
I technically could still do my voice work, but I don't want to audition past 36 weeks because depending on the recording dates I could potentially miss the gig. We're considered full term at 37 weeks too, so I figure 36 weeks is just one week ahead of the "any day now" period. If I worked in an office setting I might stay longer, but I'm really looking forward to those last few weeks of just nesting, focusing on self-care and getting ready for baby.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
Natural BFP Feb 2017. DD born Oct. 2017
Natural BFP Aug. 2019, EDD April 2020
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Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20