UO Thursday - 12/12

stlbuckeye132

Tell us your unpopular opinions here!

blaf322

dang it.... I had one yesterday. But, of course, I forgot it by now. lol

modoodles

I have really unpopular food opinions. 

Donuts, wings, and coffee are all foul. I've never been a fan. 

Also, I'm satisfied that Greta Thunberg is Person of the Year. According to my Facebook feed this is unpopular. 

rachelredhead

@modoodles totally with you on the donuts. Never been a fan. 

And Greta is great. I appreciate noisy young folks making their voices heard. And she gets points from me for dealing w/ the President like a true champ on Twitter. 

bluguitarhannah

@modoodles I cannot abide coffee or wings.  If a donut is done right I love it.  That's a rare conclusion though.

I hate Disney.  I do not care about Disney plus.  My family almost never watched Disney anything as I child and I'm only moderately warped.

modoodles

@bluguitarhannah I don't have any television service, so no disney+, but I don't hate Disney. I love Disney movies. But visiting a disney park is definitely something I have no desire to do. Ever. 

enchantindragon

I'm with everyone on donuts, coffee, and wings. I want to add Tea in there too. 

Also love Greta and I'm all for the youth leading the way these days, they have to live with the consequences far longer than the rest of us their say should really weigh more.

I also can't think of anything new to add though I'm sure I have many especially food related. I'm very picky 😜

enchantindragon

Oh I thought of one that's baby related, I dislike gender reveal parties. I think telling close friends and family in a cute creative way is fine but those over the top things with like explosives or animals etc are ridiculous.

meanjellybean

@enchantindragon "gender" reveal parties get a big side-eye from me too. Also, second baby showers (unless it's twins or there's a decent age gap). Feel free to flame me!

rachelredhead

@enchantindragon same! I find gender reveals to be kinda weird, especially if they’re huge. I’ve been invited to a few that also streamed on Facebook and it just seems like a lot. I live far from a lot of family/friends, so I get that aspect but still, not my style. 

I think DH and I will do the cake cutting thing for just the two of us. Then we’ll tell folks. Or maybe we’ll skip the cake and just make sure we find out together. 

b_1029

@enchantindragon agreed, I hate all the big elaborate ones! Sorry but most people outside of immediate family probably don’t care that much. My parents are coming to visit next month and we’re planning on having DH’s parents over for dinner or something and finding out the gender. Nothing crazy. 

mrsdrez

Wings, donuts, and coffee are some of my favourite things lol.
I'm definitely team Greta though, why are people so mad? 
And I'm also not a fan of gender reveal parties but neverrrrr would have had the balls to be the first one to say it lol. 

blaf322

@meanjellybean I know baby showers for a 2nd are frowned upon, but I'm sure a shit not going to stop my friends or family from throwing me a sprinkle for this one if they end up wanting to (I'm 100% sure my bestie or mom will) since I don't have any boy stuff. It'll mostly be diapers and the fun things people like to buy that we need... or other small things.

I do side eye a shower for a 3rd though (unless the new baby is a different sex than your other two... then you get a pass b/c I'm in the South and southerners love a good baby shower )

meanjellybean

@blaf322 well definitely don't STOP them!  I think I'm just currently bitter because I got an email from an acquaintance about how a mutual acquaintance of ours ASKED her if WE would throw her a sprinkle. This is a woman who I met when she moved to the area less than a year ago, so I don't know her that well, and her first kid isn't even two yet! I was like ummmm... 

blaf322

@meanjellybean ummmm.... are you kidding?! That is so. freakin. tacky! I can't believe she asked that! I think I'd have awkwardly laughed when she asked and then not answered hahaha

bluguitarhannah

On gender reveal -- it's not our thing.  Also, I always just want to correct the term.  It's a sex reveal. If we get a healthy baby after all this I'll be thrilled. The plumbing doesn't matter to me.

meanjellybean

@blaf322 it's super awkward! And generally she doesn't seem like the type that would do something like this, so I don't get it! I guess I'm just hoping it goes away lol

stlbuckeye132

@modoodles donuts and coffee are the best! Get outta here! I'm not a fan of wings though unless they're boneless (aka chicken fingers).

@enchantindragon yessss I'm with you on this. I HATE reveal parties. I've been to exactly one in my life and I will never ever ever go to another unless it's an immediate family member. The one I went to was for one of my husband's friends, and I was sort of friends with his wife but not close at all. They just did the cake cutting thing, so whatever, at least I got cake with that, but they did that approximately 15 mins into the party and then the guys went outside to smoke cigars and the women stayed inside. I was the only one who didn't have kids at the time, and they all just started going into all the graphic details of labor and delivery (which I didn't have an appreciation for at the time like I do now). Then the pregnant acquaintance turned to me and said, "so have you found a gynecologist here that you like?" I was mortified b/c I'm very shy and quiet to begin with and then to be asked about my lady doctor in front of a bunch of people I didn't know.... nope. I'm out. I texted my husband and told him we needed to leave immediately. 

JessDG

Agreed on the baby shower thing.  If someone is going to offer and insist you do it, then YES go for it!  But...when people request that others throw them a party...that just doesn't sit right with me.  

Gender reveals don't appeal to me either.  I know several people that did all that explosive crap and it turns out their ultrasound tech told them the wrong thing.  hah

stlbuckeye132

Not actually sure if this is a popular or UO, but here goes. I hate white elephant gift exchanges. I'd rather just keep my $15, thanks.

bluguitarhannah

@stlbuckeye132 I have two in 7 days.  Not a fan.  All I do is regift things I didn't want.

stlbuckeye132

@bluguitarhannah omg I can't read and thought you had 7 in two days until I re-read. Two is plenty bad enough! 

magnolia305

@stlbuckeye132 I am also a regifter of things I didn't want when I do white elephant. Although, I have this super loaded uncle who just gets stuff around his house to gift for our family white elephant.  He always brings the most random, but awesome gifts. It's a true case of "one man's trash is another man's treasure". 

pocketrose

UOs -

I think it's ok to ask someone to throw you a bridal/bachelorette/baby shower as long as you know they'd want to they just wouldn't think to take initiative (my maid of honor had never been to a wedding as an adult and didn't know it was somewhat traditional for her to do a bachelorette so I asked her to throw it and had a very low-key one of 4 people, manicures, dinner, etc).

Showering everyday is overrated especially in winter, every other day is fine.

blaf322

@pocketrose that's definitely a UO with me... maybe she knew and just didn't have the funds to pay for it? Being in a wedding is expensive. I could NEVER ask someone to pay for a party so I can get gifts. 

meri-mac

@mrsdrez Totally with you. I would never have said boo about gender reveals first.

Not to get too dark, but I heard a news story on a radio where a couple built a pipe bomb with the specificed gender glitter in it. They set it off at a family gathering and the shrapnel killed one of the grandmothers. What was the thought process there? "Let's build a large explosive device and get people to stand 20 feet away. That should be enough, right?"

I am against baby shower games. I just want food and the people I like. I've been invited to one for a woman who hates my guts, but because I know her husband she is under some obligation that I will definitely not feel when my time comes. I am 99% not going unless one of our mutual friends needs some emotional support.

modoodles

@meri-mac I hate showers without some sort of game! My best friend threw me a bridal shower and the decor was beautiful, the food was great, but it was a mixture of my friends and my DH's family, and my family. Nobody really knew each other and it was SO awkward, like, everybody just sitting around waiting for something to start and it never did. 

blaf322

@meri-mac omg... shower games are the wooooorst! I actually would prefer to also not open gifts. I hate the obligatory "awwww" you have to do with every gift. Like, of course I like this! I registered for it! 

I can't imagine this is UO, but also, I'm team never go off-registry for showers. The person being showered told you what they need. Get them that.

magnolia305

On the topic of showers--I think any formal type shower is overrated.  Nobody wants to sit around for 3 hours to watch you open gifts and read personal cards.  Have snacks and make it an open house.  Drop in, give the gift, grab a snack, and peace out.  

blaf322

@magnolia305 yesss

pretzellover

My UO is somewhat skewed by where I live (NYC), but I think it’s outrageous to have more kids if you can’t & wont take care of the ones you’ve already got. Example: my former colleagues nearly all got live-in baby nurses for 6-10 weeks, so they didn’t have to care for their babes from 7pm-7am. Or, I just saw a post yesterday by a mom looking for a nanny to pick up her 3 year old and newborn from daycare at 5pm and she would be home by 8pm (M-F), and also to work 9.30am-7.30pm on Sunday.
It makes me so sad for those poor neglected kids, who didn’t ask to be born, being raised by a nanny while mom is ‘too busy’.

modoodles

@blaf322 agree about not going off registry. Again, related to marrying my DH. We have so many stupid picture frames that are all either engraved with our names and date or completely doesn't fit our decor. I sound so ungrateful, but those gifts were a complete waste of money.

pocketrose

@blaf322 She's my best friend and I knew her financial situation was steady but that she just had no idea about some of the traditions of being a maid of honor. In the end she had a lot of fun but I also had a low cost bachelorette (we took the bus to NYC, stayed at my sister in laws place, had brunch, take-out, manicures, and got pastries and coffee the next day before heading back to our city) that wasn't much more than a typical weekend hang for us. Also I didn't get gifts at it/my mom planned my bridal shower which was 11 ladies eating lunch together at a $25ish per plate restaurant (she and my MIL picked up that tab).

My wedding was similarly casual/low key, I'd never ask someone to do something extravagant for me though, that's messed up.

stlbuckeye132

@magnolia305 are open house showers a thing? I've never heard of that, but I'm 100% on board for that.

stlbuckeye132

@pretzellover I don't know if this is how you meant it, but something about your post is rubbing me the wrong way. MH and I both work, which means DD spends more time at daycare than she does with us. I also teach Pure Barre in addition to my full-time job, which means even more time away from her. Does that mean I don't love her and she's neglected? Absolutely not. Does that mean I have passions in addition to being her mom? Yes. I guess I don't think that's a bad thing. Maybe my UO is that I don't think it's healthy to ONLY be "mom" once you have kids. 🤷🏼‍♀️

zande2016

@pretzellover yes!! I live outside the city in the suburbs but same shit around here, every day I see people in the local mom group looking for a baby nurse so they don’t have to be bothered overnight. It’s part of being a parent!! I totally get it if you’re having twins or you’re facing some sort of medical challenge etc but it’s basically just a given around here that you hire an baby nurse with every baby. Also my mom was a nanny when I was in school and she worked for a family for a few years where the mom was a stay at home mom, the dad worked, and they had one kid. My mom worked for them full time. What the actual eff? 

I am going to probably be unpopular with this but I would 150% turn down a shower or sprinkle if offered to me. We have everything we need and if we end up having a girl we will buy her some clothes. I would not feel right having people feel obligated to buy us stuff. And I also just hate showers. 

enchantindragon

@meri-mac Yes that was the exact story I was thinking of. Like the craziness of this to announce the gender of your baby is just insane.  It has just gotten way too out of hand in every way and now tragedy has to follow this family forever because of it.  Its not worth it.  

pretzellover

@stlbuckeye132 I’m definitely trying to stir the pot a bit, bc 1) I feel like I already know everyone’s food preferences and 2) It’s been so painfully tame on here so far...

Up until 4m ago I worked full time. My son had a nanny from 3m old to 14m, from 7.45-6pm. Bc I’m 40, had an established career, and wanted life balance. But, the first 3 years are a child’s most critical. And no one is going to love and nurture your kids like family. (I mean, how many of you are giving work your 100% right now!)

My kid massively bloomed within a week of me being home... socially, emotionally, etc. To the point that I’ve decided to stay home until the kids are 2-3 years old (assuming Hs job is stable & we have the financial means).

I’m def not intending to judge working parents (bc I was one myself), and I’m conflicted on it myself. But, there’s got to be a gray line where outsourcing our kids is too much (like when they’re infants and need comfort & mom is on full time mat leave; or on weekends when you don’t see your kid awake M-F). But yes, I guess I do feel that when they’re in their peak development years (0-3), parents should sacrifice their personal wants for their kids needs...since having kids is a choice. It’s a blip in time - and can make a massive difference.

stlbuckeye132

@pretzellover I'm all for a juicy UO or FFFC, but I guess I don't like them when they feel judgmental to people's varying parenting styles/choices. For my family, having two working parents IS the best thing for our kid (soon-to-be kids), and I'm quite confident in saying that. I realize it's not for everyone, and I have all the respect in the world for SAHPs, but that's not what works best for everyone and that's okay too. Of course we've made sacrifices for our kid and will continue to do so, but I'm also going to continue taking my Saturday morning PB class that takes me away from my daughter on the weekend because it does wonders for my mental health. And I parent best when I'm in a healthy state of mind. I can assure you my child is still thriving emotionally and socially just like yours is.

b_1029

I really wish I could stay at home (for like a year or two, not forever) once this baby is born but we financially can’t, so this just brought up all sorts of guilty/sad feelings for me. 

pretzellover

@stlbuckeye132 I respect your opinion and your choices for your family. My point is I think there should be a line... when if folks don’t value quality time with their kids they shouldn’t have them. 

@b_1029 I’m sorry my comments made you feel sad or guilty. I’ve been there too. I’m sure you’ll maximize the time you have together.