UO Thursday 12/5 — The Bump
May 2020 Moms

Re: UO Thursday 12/5

  • Don’t get my wrong, I love Christmas parties. My UO is about required gift exchanges with coworkers for the office Christmas party. We have to get White Elephant gift, so it isn’t meant for a particular person but still. I’m new, I don’t know everyone and from what I can tell not everyone even really talks to everyone else outside of work. IDK what to get and odds are that I’ll get something I won’t even want.
    Me: 28  DH: 29
    BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
  • @drkoyya I guess my UO is that I hate Christmas parties that aren't "mine." Like going to MH's work party. I always feel so awkward and I can't even have a glass of wine this time. I'm trying to figure out a way to get out of it.
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  • @ruby696 I drank an entire bottle of wine at my work Christmas party last year to get through it - I don't know what I'm going to do this year...MH and I already decided we are going to be fashionably late and duck out early though! 
  • @chewie5990 MH is in law enforcement and I'm an attorney, so there is some crossover there. Unfortunately, I tend to talk about work stuff, because we have some common ground. But then I worry that I being pretentious or something, which I'm not at all! But what else do you talk about other than work and kids? And a lot of the wives are SAHM's, so I feel like they think that I think I'm better than them - which is so far from true! I'm very outgoing/confident in a work setting, but kind of socially awkward outside of work. It stresses me out.
  • @drkoyya We also do a white elephant (max of $10) and i would say the most popular gifts are starbucks giftcards. Honestly though one year the present everyone wanted the most was a mr. potato head. People went crazy for it. Another popular idea is a mixed snack pack (salty) or sweet tooth (chocolates or cookies) gift bag.
    Our Journey:
    Me: 37
    TTC since 2017
    3/18-9/18- IUI's
    11/18- IVF #1
    1/19- IVF #2
    8/19- DE Cycle #1- 5 PGS tested normal
    9/19- FET #1 Due 5/30/20
  • For white elephant I say a candle or a Starbucks card!
  • @sunshinesea22 agreed. MH is all about gift giving and I hate it because 1) I get stuff I don't want or need and 2) I have to reciprocate and just buy stupid junk because he already buys himself everything he wants! I just want to decorate, cook/bake, and enjoy time together.
  • @lisush Ugh! So annoying when there’s nothing you can get someone because they get it themselves! MH and I have only done stockings (favorite candy, gift cards for massage, nails for me and outdoorsy stores for him) and we save our money or get a “big” gift for ourselves that we have been thinking about for some time. Last year we gifted ourselves a new laptop since ours were both really old and slow.
  • @sunshinesea22 yup! I would much rather us save the money for bigger and better things than waste it on useless crap.
  • @sunshinesea22 That’s what my family does, I think we started about 8 years ago. Instead of spending the money on gifts my mom spends it on our steak and lobster dinner. We spend all day together hanging out playing board games and then cook and eat our amazing dinner. We do still buy for the kids, which was just one (mine) until last year when my brother married is brand new gf who had 2 kids and they had one together. So now there are 4 kids, 2 of which have December birthdays.
    TTC#1 July 2015 
    • BFP: 9/16/15 — MC: 11/8/15 Blighted Ovum
    • BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
    TTC#2 April 2019 
    • BFP: 9/12/19 — EDD 5/15/20

  • I hate Secret Santa gift exchanges (unless you actually know the people participating.) MIL forced everyone on her side of the family into participating in a secret Santa. Part of the family we haven’t seen in THREE years and that was only because a funeral, probably 5 years if it wasn’t for that. So of course my name gets picked for a like 58 year old man that we haven’t seen in 3 years and probably have only ever seen a total of 5 times. Like really? I have to buy for my own children, parents, siblings, etc and I don’t want to be forced to buy a gift for someone I barely know. And I don’t want a random dumb gift from someone I barely know. DH discussed it with MIL and told her we don’t want to participate in the secret Santa because we have enough people to buy for and she informed us that we were “ruining the spirit of Christmas.” Then said if we don’t buy the gifts, she will buy them for us and put our names on them. That is not the point! We don’t want to be forced to buy gifts for people we don’t know!! 

  • @sunshinesea2 in with you. I can't stand getting "stuff" I don't want or need and then need to feel like I appreciate it. Give me a gift card to a restaurant I'd be much more appreciative. I also hate trying to find the "perfect" gift or giving people things I know they don't need like freaking knick knacks. MH is all about giving a bunch of junk to MIL and BIL and doesn't mind getting it and putting it in a regift box, personally I think that's so dumb to be forced to give and receive gifts. Obviously children like it because they can't buy their own stuff but I'm just so over it all. 
    Me: 32 |  DH: 44
    Started Dating: November 2007
    Married: July 2017
    DD May 2018, #2 hopefully May 2020
  • @m6agua That sounds like my dream Christmas!!! Being together as a family is much more important than the gift stuff. People and kids remember fun times and memories made, they don’t remember the gadget you gave them that they probably used once and now it’s a dust collector.
    @peachnectarine That’s so frustrating! I was also accused of “ruining Christmas” by a sister when I said I didn’t want to do gifts a few years ago. I’m irritated on your behalf because that’s even more annoying than buying things for people you know!!! 
    @jhysmath That’s an odd tradition with the random stuff regifting. So much yes to trying to find “the perfect gift” for people who don’t really need gifts! So much pressure and then it seems like people are always let down one way or another.
  • @sunshinesea22 I completely agree! It's honestly just gotten too expensive to buy the gifts, which I feel like with the adults just turns into a gift card exchange, which just seems kind of pointless. However, my husband and I definitely make the least money out of all of my family, so my suggestion of just buying for the kids always gets shot down, because it's not such a financial burden to everyone else.
  • We only buy for our kids. Even MH and I don’t exchange gifts. For those of those that always give us the spirit of Christmas or try to guilt trip us, they get a long lecture on corporate America and why gifts aren’t even close to the spirt of anything. I refuse to buy for fully grown adults that can buy for themselves and often don’t want what you buy anyways. I’ve never understand why people expect you to take on such a huge financial burden for a “holiday”. 
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